@rendiingâ | bc ur worth it
Itâs dark by the time he gets home. Hux supposes itâs always dark this time of year, and the combination of lab finals and grading papers because one of his TAâs is out sick (painfully convenient, really, all things considered) has kept him on campus later and later. He works on keeping his thoughts of Kylo out of his head during the day, although they have a tendency to creep back at the most inopportune moments. Layers of skin, peeled back to reveal the bone and flesh beneath, students dutifully taking notes, and all he can think of is the delicate, iridescent flesh of Kyloâs wrist beneath his, the sluggish heartbeat. A student with complicated plaits in her hair, and he yearns to do the same with Kyloâs, to doll him up, to make him perfect in a way only they understand. Sometimes he catches the eyes of a student, and they look at him the way Kylo did, before. When he was still Ben, still just a nothing who didnât know his own potential.
Still, he tries not to dwell on those thoughts, tries to keep the anxiety about leaving Kylo alone for so long at bay. Itâs rare, in the winter, for him to find Kylo too far out in the woods, but he also knows that the earth calls to him in ways Hux will never understand. Hux doesnât think he wants to understand either. He likes his world clean and neat and orderly, but he cannot begrudge Kylo his little quirks, especially not after heâs given him so much and asked for so little in return.
âLove?â he calls out, voice echoing in the halls. The house is too big, but he wants room for Kylo to wander. He wants with everything in him to make this less of a house, to let Kylo make it a home. Millicent curls around his feet as he attempts to take his shoes off, and he gently but firmly scoots her over. Anxiety claws at him, and he finds himself hoping against hope that Kylo hasnât made a mess again. He understands, as much as he can understand this sort of thing. The gnawing need for release, for escape. Part of him sympathizes, but not enough that Hux is willing to let him go fulfill that need.
He doesnât find Kylo on the main floor, and he keeps the basement door locked more for Millicent than anything else. And perhaps, a part of him is nervous about Kylo and the old gas furnace. He hasnât gotten around to replacing it, and probably wonât. It functions, and it isnât as if Kylo or Millicent need the house warm per se. âLove?â he calls out again, voice louder, the barest edge of nervousness bleeding into his voice. Itâs much too cold for Kylo to be out in the woods. The stairs creak under his weight, old wood that holds stories and horrors that people like Hux canât be bothered to care about. âAre you up here?â


















