To all the Nicks....

                                                Saint Nicholas                                                     Name Day                                                  December 6th

The Eastern Orthodox Church, the Roman Catholic Church, and the Anglican Churches (taken together, representing a quarter of humanity) celebrate Saint Nicholas every year on December 6, which is the name day for "Nicholas".

In Greece, the name and its derivatives are especially popular in maritime regions, as Saint Nicholas is considered the protector saint of seafarers....for more than a millennia.

No wonder I have salt water in my veins! My ancestors came from seafaring towns in central and southern Greece....dating back centuries. I’m drawn to the sea....

“Nicholas” in Greek means, literally, victory of the people.

The name became popular 1,700 years ago through Saint Nicholas, Greek Christian Bishop of Myra in Lycia (today’s southern Turkey). Nicholas was famous for his generous gifts to the poor....with the name and the legacy evolving many centuries later, to become the Dutch/German (my Mom’s heritage, by the way) inspiration for Santa Claus -- a derivation of “Saint Nicholas.”

For all my brethren named “Nicholas,” December 6 is a day to celebrate, on par with your birthday. It’s a day to reflect on all the good things you bring to family, friends and community. It’s a time to stand tall and proud: you’re a “Nicholas”! And, around the Holiday Season each year, you might even earn the affectionate moniker “Saint Nick”!

(My Dad, also ”Nicholas”, and I celebrated the day as far back as I can remember. It was our private bond. And it’s always been a deep honor to carry his name!)

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My Dad penned this poem early one December 6th morning, as he was sipping on his pre-dawn coffee in front of his computer. He gave it to me when I went over to my parents house for dinner that evening 17 years ago (to celebrate our shared Name Day)....(he passed away quite suddenly just a nine months later)....and the poem remains a priceless gift and treasure -- loving inspiration from Father to Son -- that will remain with me always. I think about it almost every day....and gain strength from it....as if it were a compass for this life-long mariner....

Waepians are an ancient type of spirit with two distinct clans: Swords and Shields. Each clan has distinct traits, but one cannot exist without the other. For every Sword there is a Shield, two people who form a bond from a young age and live out their lives together as partners in battle and in life.

Shields are, as their name implies, the more defensive of the two clans. They are guardians and protectors, sworn to protect and support their Sword.

Swords are more aggressive, more likely to charge into battle but also more likely to take action. They are warriors and fighters, sworn to defend and protect their shields.

Neither has more power, though their strengths lie in different places. Swords and Shields have very little conception of romance, as the most important bond is to their partner in battle. These bonds can be familial, platonic, romantic, and may or may not be sexual.

Shields are also bonded to a race of spirits called Reverences, winged snakes who specialize in protection and defense. The connection is very important for both of them, as Reverences need someone to help channel their power and their bond makes a Shield stronger and helps keep them alive.

Swords, on the other hand, bond with a race of eel-like creatures called Reminisces. Reminisces are, much like Swords are to Shields, the more aggressive counterpart. They specialize in combat magic and help to fuel the Sword’s power.

For a very long time, these races all lay dormant. Now, they’re finding their way back into the world and rebuilding what it was they lost so long ago.

Because at times it just those reminisces or those weird moment. Or something which reminds us about them and those feelings. But the reality is that those feelings have faded now and everyone most probably has moved on. Or at least you have because do you have any idea about what will you say if they come in front of you?

I was recovering from my first real big fight with depression. Right at the start of the second semester of my sophomore year of college I had a huge emotional collapse. One of the reasons I survived was because of watching Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, and CATFA with my roommates. But the main reason I survived was because they were some of the best girls in the world and I’m so glad that God sent them to me

The first showing I went to I went with a current roommate and one of her friends--he was my friend too by that time. 

That was also my first time ever riding public transit. We went to the mall on the other side of town. 

The second showing, I did go with two of the roommates from that last apartment. (Fun fact: another one of those girls went on Study Abroad to Spain and she got to see Los Vengadores in theaters like two days before it came out in the US. Can you say celosas!)

I had seen the previews but I had no idea that this movie would change my life, again. And that it would change the world.

I also already knew that the MCU had deeper themes, but I had no idea that I would get SO MUCH out of The Avengers

Characters that Impacted Me: Loki I wasn’t in fangirl love with him yet. That would wait until Thor 2. Maybe even later. But Loki’s speeches about human weakness sounded so much like the evil voices in my head that had plagued me the previous semester when I had questioned everything I cared about. Loki was Satan. And I quote his entire speech in Stuttgart:  Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel. My mind was trying to rule me.

Clint Barton First thing, Loki uses the mind stone to take over Barton. He makes Barton do things he normally would never do. Kill people. Hurt people. Attack the people he cares about. For months I had struggled with inner thoughts that lashed out violently against every person I was attached to. And I was terrified of those thoughts becoming real. My OCD/Depression manifested my worst fears and wanted to make me into a person I was not. People say that Hawkeye got jipped in this movie but I disagree: he was my worst fears and my mental illness playing out on the big screen. And then he came out of it. And he saved the world. 

(Maybe that’s the real reason I cosplay Natasha, because I hate it when people talk trash about Barton)

Natasha Romanoff Her first fight scene in the movie is so awesome. Good grief. I had seen Iron Man 2 but it wasn’t until The Avengers that Nat made an impression on me. It was the ‘Red in her Ledger” speech--that little show of vulnerability to manipulate Loki. Everything I had been through felt like “red in my ledger.”

I was really struck by her compassion: the empathy she expresses to Barton in recovery; her trying to keep Bruce from going Hulk and then warning the mechanics to get the heck away; her and Clint rescuing civilians in New York; and then telling Eric Selvig that what he had done wasn’t his fault. 

Also, when I came out of the first showing I talked to my roommate about her like, what if she’s related to Anastasia because the last name, ya know? After a while I felt like that was kind of stupid. So I put that theory aside...until recently. Maybe not that recently. 

Regardless of whether or not Nat is actual royalty, she has always been a Queen to me ever since

Phil Coulson Coulson was the first MCU character I ever obsessed over, but even then it was nowhere on the level I’ve been at with Bucky for the last...we’re going on five years now, I think. But he was just so cute and so nice and so funny and his death pained me a little. As soon as the #CoulsonLives movement came around I was converted. When I decided for personal reasons to not watch Agents of SHIELD it was hard. But then I got a great idea for my own #CoulsonLives story so the rest is history. It’s just he was such a friend to all the Avengers and he felt like my friend, too.

Bruce Banner It’s probably beating a dead horse to say this, but having a mental illness is like, well, living with the Hulk. It was this dark side of me that came out and it scared me. And it came out and it attacked me and it made me attack people. Sometimes it was like the Mind Stone controlling me, as I said earlier. But sometimes it was just blind rage. “That’s my secret, Cap: I’m always angry.” BOY I FELT THAT.

And I think it may have been as early as the next day but the next time I went to group therapy I told everyone about The Avengers (I was doing some kind of therapy 2-3 days a week. It was intense but I needed it and it helped).  I told them about Clint and I told them about Bruce. I may have told them more. But I told them that the biggest superhero movie ever had made an emotional impact on me because I saw the characters acting out my mental illness experience onscreen and symbolically defeated it

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." ~G.K. Chesterson/Neil Gaiman (Source)

And that’s how representation works folks: not just people who look like you but people who’ve been through what you’ve been through

I took “Love is for children” pretty literally the first time I saw it. I only shipped Clintasha later because everybody else on the internet was doing it. Even when I first started writing fanfic I had them dating. But, to be honest, I really like Clint having a family and having that tight platonic brother/sister relationship with Nat. Actually a lot cooler. And it fit better with my fanfic because my Jedi OC becomes Clint’s adopted cousin and it made more sense for Laura and the little Bartons to be part of that relationship russos what have you done to them

One small step....

                                     One small step for [a] man,                                      One giant leap for mankind.

                                             -- Astronaut Neil Armstrong (1930~2012)                                                         Commander, Apollo 11 Lunar Mission

The famous words as Man first stepped onto the surface of the Moon....July 20, 1969.

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                                                 July 20, 2019

A half-century ago on this momentous date, I was a 15-year-old teenager living in Yokosuka, Japan (near Tokyo) while my Dad was on duty there with the U.S. Navy.

I had a 12-inch B&W portable TV in my bedroom (the only TV in the house back then)....and my entire family gathered in my little room to be a part of this historic event....watching it on Japanese TV -- with wall-to-wall coverage! (We didn’t understand what the announcers were saying, but their feed from NASA and Mission Control was all in English!)

About to begin my senior year in high school, I was one inspired young man by this incredible and captivating achievement!

It struck a chord in me! A very positive one! A very proud one! It’s still there.... 

I hope the current younger generations can experience the unique and unifying thrill of mankind returning to the Moon....and going on to Mars a decade beyond.

The world comes together as one for something like this. It’s just the humanity in every one of us....transcending all races, religions, nations and cultures.