#references to

"It's a prototype for a Federation cloaking device."

T'mok's head still spun with the situation the Enterprise crew had just found themselves emerging from, Riker and that vile Pressman's words echoing in his ears. Deep lines creased his face as he frowned and pressed a few fingers against his lips while he leaned against his hand contemplatively, the familiar sounds of Romulus's nature bringing some measure of order to the chaos and anger that nearly drowned out the rest of his thoughts.

Although he had decided to completely abandon his position within the Romulan Empire and join Starfleet some years ago now, there were times T'mok questioned whether he'd done the right thing or not. Of course, there would hardly be any opportunities to truly change his mind— if he were to leave the Federation, there would be no place for him within the Empire anymore. The moment he was outside of the protection of the treaty between the Federation and the Romulans, he was sure the Tal Shiar would be on him before he knew what was happening. It was far too late to turn back now.

And despite all of that, the moments where the former Romulan Commander considered the weight of what he'd done as too great or perhaps incorrect were few and far between at this point. The peace and protection the Federation provided for him— and more importantly, his wife— was more often than not consistent and genuine. He missed his people, but he knew he couldn't say the same about the Empire at this point.

T'mok couldn't help but question the integrity of Starfleet, especially in the upper echelons, after everything that happened with the Pegasus. He took some peace in knowing Pressman would face justice; an instinctual part of him simply wished the punishment would be more severe than it surely would be.

More than a single man, though— someone had to approve the experiments with the cloaking device, and more than a few people would have been needed to develop the technology itself. The animosity between the two forces, T'mok understood. There were times he wished he could tear his own former associates to shreds himself during missions, and others where he had to grit his teeth and follow orders despite every fibre of his being screaming for him to do otherwise. But this? A direct violation of a peace treaty with his people because of what? Paranoia? Paranoia was exactly what most people agreed Romulans were most guilty of; it's what drove them to such deception and subterfuge over time.

T'mok snarled and picked up a rock by his foot to hurl into the lake he sat across from. Rising to his feet, he began to pace alongside the lake's edge.

Had it not been for his exceptional hearing, he would have been distracted enough that he missed the hiss of the holodeck doors as someone entered his program. The look the Romulan shot whoever it was that entered must have been murderous— they paused for a good few moments before continuing forward. When the doors shut behind him and moonlight was cast on his face, T'mok saw that it was Captain Picard who was approaching him.

"Captain," T'mok said as evenly as he could, "were you trying to reach me? I apologize if I missed your hails." Despite his best efforts, his words still came out as distinctly sharp and angry. If Picard noticed, he didn't take it personally.

"No, Lieutenant, you did not miss anything. I just, um…" Picard stepped a bit closer, pursing his lips and looking up to take in the world around him, "wanted to come and check in on you, personally."

"I… appreciate the sentiment, Captain." T'mok hesitated, unsure of exactly how to respond. He stopped pacing, at least, standing at attention as Picard stopped by his side, following T'mok's previous gaze out and over the lake.

"I have only seen Romulus one other time," Picard mused after a while, "and it was actually on this very holodeck that time as well." He cast a sidelong glance to T'mok, whose jaw was set tight, a deep frown still on his brow.

"Is that so?" T'mok didn't turn to look at Picard as he responded. "I didn't take you as one who spent his vacation time on holodecks, Captain. Much less on Romulus, of all places."

"Oh, it wasn't a program made for myself, Lieutenant," Picard assured, "I was simply taking a look at a program made for another Romulan who was once on board. He actually very much reminded me of you, Mister T’mok."

T'mok glanced over to Picard suspiciously. "How so? I hope you're not about to tell me you think all Romulans look alike, Sir."

Picard chuckled. "Certainly not, Lieutenant. I was actually referring to your integrity— and your willingness to integrate into something unfamiliar and new while holding on to your heritage."

"You've piqued my interest, Captain," T'mok grumbled after a moment, "who was this guest?"

Picard tapped his palm against his fist as they rested behind his back. "His name was Alidar."

T'mok was silent for a long while. Picard could see the way he chewed on the inside of his cheek as he wrestled with his own thoughts. The Captain sighed through his nose.

"Lieutenant T'mok, I wanted to offer you my sincerest apologies for what has happened here tooday."

T'mok shook his head. "You are not one of the people involved, Captain."

"Maybe not, but by wearing this uniform, I do represent Starfleet as a whole, Lieutenant. The creation of the Pegasus and the development of its phase-cloaking technology was a complete failure of the Federation. That kind of secrecy and deception…"

"Is more what you'd expect from people like the Romulans?" T'mok finished, turning to fully face his captain, something like hurt written on his face.

"Perhaps— but I was going to say that it was something we as humans used to be very familiar with, and have tried very hard to leave behind us." Picard turned his shoulders squared to T'mok as well. "Clearly, we are still not perfect."

Restlessly picking and pulling at his uniform, T'mok sighed. "Truly, Captain, I do not hold this situation against you. But I must admit to you… I question how deep this corruption runs within Starfleet Command. I cannot—" he pursed his lips, "I understand I cannot ask you to share sensitive information with me, Captain, but…"

Picard held up a hand as T'mok struggled to find the right words. "As far as I am aware, Lieutenant, Pressman was acting in a very isolated sphere. Please trust me when I say that I would be forthcoming with you if I suspected anything more— I have always found Admiral Raner to be excessively paranoid, and I am quite sure she will be investigated and removed from her position as well."

"… Thank you, Captain."

It was clear T'mok was still preoccupied within his own mind, but the worry lines in his expression had softened after Picard spoke. Picard reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on T'mok's shoulder.

"I don't expect you to make peace with this immediately, Lieutenant. I understand it may take some time," Picard gripped T'mok's shoulder more tightly, "but for now, I would implore you to stay. You are an essential part of my crew, Lieutenant, and we need you— not despite your Romulan blood, but because of it."

Picard peered meaningfully at T'mok for a few moments longer before patting his shoulder twice and pulling away. T'mok nodded slowly at his captain, at an angle— a more traditional show of respect.

As Picard left the holodeck and the chirping sounds of Romulus's nighttime air, T'mok turned back to the moonlit lake before him; the weight of his thoughts felt much lighter. He took in the familiar smell of the water and woods around him, closing his eyes.