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politically, patriarchy is deeply associated with the control of knowledge and the language we use to talk about patriarchy, thus at every turn anti-patriarchy will have its means of knowledge generation and language critiqued and threatened and challenged. the words we, the opposition to patriarchy, use to talk about patriarchy will always be 'too extreme' or 'not exactly right' or 'rude' or 'annoyingly specific' or so many other things, because patriarchy disproportionately empowers our enemies to wield such critiques against us. and so, we must resist the urge to endlessly soften and weaken our language, and i think no place is this more precise than the description of gender classes.
constantly we are told that it is not 'men' that oppress us, but some other thing, and in turn that it is not 'women' that are oppressed, but some other thing. thus it is important that we not cede this language ground but continue to correctly describe the oppressed class as 'women' and the oppressor class as 'men'. in fact, in our material analysis we must reject the allure of the purely individualistic and thus impossible to precisely analyze 'identity labels', and insist upon the existence of material classes and material labels of positionalities.
and so, it's not just because i think it's really, really hot to call you a 'good girl' because of the way it makes you squirm but also because regardless of whatever the fuck 'femboy' means, you're clearly transmisogynized and therefore misogynized and therefore it's correct for me to call you a woman, so there.
Basically just spent 4 hours or so writing the kiss and trying to write it as close to canon as possible. It’s not extremely good, given I wrote it in 4 hours, and was driven off hyper focus more than motivation, but it exists!
(Sorry bout the formatting, copying it over to tumblr is weird)
(Also I start with Apo’s POV but then like immediately switch to Cherri’s and never switch back, for some reason?)
Word count: 1203
Apokuna, for the first time in her life, was drunk. She didn’t look it, she was chasing Cherri back to their house at her normal pace after all, jumping and lunging like she would sober, and she certainly wasn’t as wasted as Shan or 4C, but she was most definitely drunk. It… wasn’t the most unpleasant feeling she had felt before, though she definitely felt less alert than she probably should’ve been. The night was over though, and well, Apo sincerely doubted that anyone tonight would wake up later without even a slight hangover.
The only exception would maybe be Cherri, who had gone to many balls and mascarades, and had learned the hard way how many drinks she could handle, and how much was too much to be able to function in an early morning council meeting.
Cherri was, however, still exhausted from the night. She had been chasing the drunken Shan around for the past couple hours trying to keep her from drinking anymore, and truly did not have the energy to do anything but sleep. That’s why she was running, it definitely did not have to do with any pretty knights wearing stunning blue dresses saying things they would never have said sober.
She really couldn’t deal with that right now.
It wasn’t until she got to the ladder that led up to their room that she realized Apo wasn’t right behind them. Despite her own mental stability, turned around. “Where’d you go?”
“I’m right here.” Apo, who was in fact right behind her, replied, before gently stepping in front of Cherri and starting up the ladder.
“Oh,” Maybe Cherri did have a little too much to drink. She hesitated before starting up the ladder herself. “...Hi,”
“Hi,” Apo called back while Cherri sheepishly followed her into their bedroom, halting in the doorway.
It was quiet for a second before Apo spoke, “The night was fun.”
“Yeah.”
“I spoke to plenty of people; Even found a pairing.” Apo smiled softly, her red eyes sparkling with adoration “But I think the conversation I cherished most was with yours.”
Cherri’s chest jolted, and suddenly she couldn’t get herself to make eye contact with the woman across from her. All remaining ounces of logical thought dispersing. She wished Apo would stop saying things like that.
Cherri could admit to herself she found Apo attractive. They’ve had a small crush on Apo since they met her, really Cherri’s had a small crush on almost all the female knights in Soluna at some point. She knew they would never be reciprocated though, a knight's duty is the most important thing above all else, and she liked it that way. It was easier to crush and move on if she knew the feelings would never go anywhere.
However it was different with Apo.
It didn’t matter what they did, whether they were annoying or overbearing or cold or caring; nothing she did made Cherri like her any less. In fact, the feeling had been growing within the past couple of months, to the point where Cherri really didn’t know how to deal with it anymore. It wasn’t even about Apo at this point. Even if Apo allowed themself to reciprocate her feelings, Cherri wasn’t sure what she would do. She’d never felt like this for anyone before. It made her nauseous just thinking about it. So she ignored it.
For some awful reason though, it didn’t stop the goosebumps rippling up her spine at Apo’s stare, or the blush rapidly spreading across her face due to her words. She needed another drink.
For some reason, Apo seemed to grin even wider at that. “I’ll drink to that!” she said with a light chuckle that definitely didn’t make Cherri’s heart flutter “Toss me one.”
“I’ll drink to that! Hey, I’ll drink to that!” she giggled, tossing Apo a spare glass of ambrosia. They drank until they were nauseous again, because at least this nausea has nothing to do with the girl in front of her. “Okay yeah, very good.”
They continued having idle conversations about the mascarade, Cherri even convincing Apo to take all 64 bottles of ambrosia she somehow accidentally smuggled out of the masquerade. She could feel her heart start to slow down a bit, sinking into the casual banter Cherri had grown to love so much.
“Did you give 4C my cape?”
“...No…”
Apo stepped forward, her eyes narrowing slightly with amusement “You went into the closet, didn't you?”
“Noo…” Cherri grinned guiltily. She glanced towards the closet, before deciding to bolt to it to escape the conversation, and just to annoy Apo.
“Hey!” Apo cried, stumbling after her.
“I just went into the closet,” Cherri stated cheekily, as she leaned against the wall.
“Okay, and now I’m in here with you.” She stated it like a fact, the same intense stare she always had directed toward Cherri’s eye.
Cherri was suddenly hyper aware of how little space there was in the closet, and it certainly didn’t help that Apo was actively getting closer, seemingly subconsciously.
“I’m getting out.” They retorted quickly, pushing past Apo, and going to sit on the beautiful red sheets that covered her bed.
“No, come back in the closet!” Apo pouted, earning a small giggle out of Cherri.
“I can’t believe you’d say that to me- can’t believe you said that.” Cherri attempted to keep her annoyed composure, though feelings she couldn’t even begin to describe were bubbling inside of her.
“Fine,” Apo exhaled with a smile, “We could be out together.” turning her gaze back to Cherri, quietly waiting for approval from the warrior princess.
“Very good.” Cherri lamented, though her face felt hot at the implication.
“Listen, all I'm saying is…” Apo’s gaze drifted slightly away from the princess, her words coming out slightly slurred. “It was very damn weird… Seeing you walk up, and me feeling things.” Their eyes found Cherri’s again, “I was confused.”
“What?” Cherri’s eye widened.
“Huh?” Apo responded innocently, as if she hadn’t just basically confessed to having feelings for Cherri.
Cherri looked away, “You don’t make any sense.”
“... It might be the sleep deprivation, " she joked.
“I think you are drunk.”
“Could be drunk,” Apo contemplated.
Cherri giggled in a mix of anxiety and giddiness as the weight of what Apo just confessed started to sink in.
“Sober thoughts, or something like that, who knows,” Apo said, leaning forward slightly.
Cherri stopped, and just stared. They genuinely felt like they were gonna explode. Was this really happening? All she could hear was the echo of heartbeat in her ears.
She didn’t move as Apo’s eyes flicked towards her lips, once, twice, longing.
She didn’t move as they kissed her.
It was quick, hardly lasted a second before Apo pulled back, an ounce of sober sense finally quenching her drunk confidence, and retreated to her bed.
“What-” Cherri squeaked.
“I’m going to bed,” Apo declared, refusing to look at Cherri.
“Yeah, uh, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Cherri started pacing. Every logical thought had left Cherri’s brain at that point. She had never felt so flustered in her life. Had that- that happened. Pretty lady… Apo had kissed her. What???
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