#real!kai

I'm not trying to be presumptuous and I'm not sure how many of you care, but I know it can feel shitty when an author takes down a fave work, so here:

This is on my AO3 bio and since i hate ffn, I'm not gonna bother posting this there, but same the thing applies.

According to fanfiction.net

Disclaimer: these may not be accurate as these characters can be in the same fic and not shipped together in it, but for entertainment purposes if they're tagged together they're shipped together. This is in no way a reflection of actual ship popularity.

10. Kai x Enzo

9. Kai x Katherine

Tied once again but placement based on number of completed fics

8. Kai x Klaus

7. Kai x Stefan

6. Kai x Kol

5. Kai x Caroline

4. Kai x Elena

3. Kai x OC

2. Kai x Damon

1. Kai x Bonnie AKA Bonkai

"Oh, Kai," she sing songed. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

"Where would the fun be in that, slayer?" His voice echoed in the warehouse but he was nowhere to be seen.

"The view is nice."

"Can't argue with that, but is it worth getting stabbed over."

"It's not everyday a vampire gets staked by a beautiful girl."

Suddenly he dropped from his dark corner above and stood in front of her with that idiotic grin she's grown accustomed to.

"Do your worst."

She circled him like prey. "I don't think you could handle it."

"That's funny, I just thought the exact same thing about you."

@fuckitimfangirling

"Honey I'm home!"

"Cut! Could you say it less sarcastic? You're are supposed to be playing my wife."

"You do realize they only say cut in movies right?"

"Fine, pause, break, I don't care. Talk to me like you love me."

"In what universe does a wife who actually uses the phrase 'honey I'm home' love her husband? It's called reading between the lines."

"Well stop reading between the lines and read the lines!"

"I am!"

"Alrighty, I think that's enough rehearsal for today," Mrs. Flemming cut in.

"But we haven't gotten through the whole play yet."

"And it's the dress rehearsal. The play is this weekend."

"I'm well aware, but we can't even get through page one without you two fighting how do you expect to get through all 100."

"We'll manage."

"How? It's been two months now and you still haven't managed to be civil once. I'm going to have to send in your understudies! They maybe as bland as white on bread but at least they can make it through one scene together."

"No, I am not playing second fiddle to Elena Gilbert!"

"I heard that!" her friend chimed in from backstage.

"I don't care."

"Yeah, and I'm not giving up lead to Damon Salvatore. He doesn't even know the lines."

"Well, I'm out of options. The only other thing I can do is switch your partners."

"No!" They screamed simultaneously.

"Either you two get along, or give up your roles."

"I'd like to add," Damon chimed in, "why don't you two just fuck and get it over with."

"Am I going to have to give you detention Mr. Salvatore?"

"I'm just saying what we're all thinking. Once they loosen up maybe we can get through this play."

"Use protection," she said grudgingly and left the room to take several asprin for the headache that had transpired.

"I feel like italian," Bonnie said to her roommate walking out her of her apartment.

She scoured the many food trucks outside, she lived in the perfect part of town if you liked food, not so great if you're on a diet, and found the one she was looking for. When she got up to order she was shocked at who was behind the window.

"What happened to the taco truck?"

"Nothing, that's just for Tuesday's."

"And the burger joint?"

"Friday and Saturday's."

"How many food trucks do you own?" she asked incredulously.

"Enough to cater to your every craving."

He looked at her mural in awe.

"I could never do what you do. Everything you make is so personal, visceral, comforting. It's like coming home. I pass by it everyday and feel the warmth you put in it."

"You're not so bad yourself. You convey pain in a very real way."

"It's all I know."

"Forgive me father for I have sinned, forgive me father for I have sinned, forgive me father for I have sinned," she mutter repeatedly while she sobbed. It wasn't supposed to happen, it was an accident. Not that many people died on the compound, but enough to call for her head.

She pleaded for her mom to help but what the Supreme Joshua said was sacred and meant to be followed at all costs, even her. She was thrown in the cellar with his son Malachai. No one knew why he was down there just that he was an abomination and apparently now so was she.

"You know that's not going to help, right?"

"You don't know that!"

"Yeah, because in the seven years I've been down here I never thought of that."

"Seven years?"

"Yeah."

"That means I have time! I can make it right. I can-"

"Stop! I can't with this desperate follower thing. You think you're the only one who's been down here? You'll be dead with in a week and I'll be left here alone, again."

"Why don't you help them?"

"If I had the ability to do that I wouldn't be down here."

"Why are you down here?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm an abomination."

"So am I."

"You don't have magic?"

"I do just not the right kind."

"Can it get us out of here?"

"Maybe. If it doesn't kill us first."

If he could sleep all day he would. It was the only piece of happiness he got because the moment he closed his eyes she was there wearing a forest green lingerie set waiting for him to come to bed.

"How was your day, baby?"

"Oh you know same old, same old. Sun comes up eclipse, sun goes down, lather, rinse, repeat. You don't want to hear about it." He shed himself of his shirt and was working on the pants but fumbling.

"Let me help you, baby."

"No! I can take off my own clothes, thank you very much."

"But I can do it so much better."

"I bet you could, but I don't want it to end just yet." He crawled toward. "Can I touch you a little before it's over?"

"You know it doesn't work like that."

"Come on. Let me be useful before you kill me. It'll be well worth your while."

"It already is." She moved quickly. She pinned him down between her thighs squeezing with a force greater than her tiny 5'2" body suggested.