#readitthrough

Helloooooo friends!

I'm sorry I haven't blocked in a while .. I was pretty busy and i have to admit that for the most part my life got pretty normal if you could say that. After things went pretty straight down if you can put it in words like that, i finally found my home here in the States. I love my new hostparents, Doug and Jane, they're the best I could have ever asked for. They treat me like their own daughter and know what I like and how I am just am. 

Thank you, I love you.

I'm also finally ready to talk about my experience with my previous hostfamily. Now you may think that i just need attention and sympathy for what I have experienced but I don't want to. The people who know me well know I'm not doing it for that. I do it because a lot (A LOT) of people asked and texted me on facebook as soon as they knew somehow (don't ask me how) that I transferred to another family. While it wasn't a big of a deal for me anymore, it was for them. I'm happy to give you a little to talk about people - I actually enjoy it a little bit haha. 

For all of you who were already abroad and made the experience of transferring, it is not easy and definitely not an easy process. It really hurts. It was neither easy nor smoothly for me. You are stuck between everything. You feel lonely and like a left dog nobody wants. You don't wanna feel like that. Believe me. So after crying and hating and cussing about your situation and you finally come to the conclusion that it is better that way, you will feel better. I personally believe that God created this path to me to give me a challenge.  I know that He knows that I am strong enough to do it. I am strong enough. I just had to rediscover it. But how I said earlier: It is not easy. Because you're asking yourself now? 

It's not easy because you feel like nobody wants you.

Although my coordinator, all your friends, and the previous hostfamily told you that it is not your fault, why do I think that it was my fault? And that's the problem: You think it was really your fault.

Eventually with the support of my coordinator Kathy (best ever) and my family at home I finally got over it. However, i have to give the most credit to my friends at home; they helped me understand that they are some people in the world who love me to death no matter what. You know who you are and I may be the luckiest person in the world callling you my friends. 

So after going here and going there and going anywhere, I finally found my home in the USA. My life is pretty different now but that's ok. I now understand what "totally dive in another culture" means haha. 

Yours and only yours,