Alucard nodded, scooping some of the egg onto a fork and taking a long chew at the stale bread, but he still gave a look that read he was considerate for your time. “It is most thoughtful of you. Thank you, Y/N.”

Your shoulders had been so tensed you realised, after relaxing them from awaiting for so long his verdict. He said your name, you realised, and you couldn’t help that feeling in your chest, swelling with an unknown emotion. As if you had been waiting all your life to hear it from someone again. You smiled nonetheless, taking a bite of your food and being overwhelmed by the spices you remembered your mama cooking into meals.

You spoke about your plans for the day, and how you were close to beginning your training, and it even seemed to pique some of Alucard’s interest. “I will stand by today,” he announced, gathering your plates when they were finished. “Just in case something happens.”

“I should be fine, really.” you didn’t want to pressure him into being with you if he had other things to do, and you certainly didn’t want to make him feel uneasy about your spells- or lack thereof.

“I insist,” he says, his voice a hue of melancholy, “when it comes to witchcraft, there is a chance something can misfire. I’m only making sure you don’t set the books on fire.”

You blush easily but find his joke to make you laugh. “Very funny. Even if I did try to burn it down, I would certainly not start in there. There are too many good things in there. It would be a waste of knowledge, turned to ash within the blink of an eye.”

Alucard hums in agreement, though he does not speak further on the matter, instead, only awaiting for you. “Shall we then?”

-

“I heard it is hard to put a Vampire into a trance?”

You concentrate, staring from the pages up to where the Dhampir stands, tracing a finger over the aged pages. The two of you have spent many hours going through abilities that would be of use to you, and though you try to conjure them through word, nothing comes of it.

“It is true,” he answers earnestly, “the stronger the mind, the harder is it to break- so to say.”

“Vampires have a mental block or something?”

“Some do, it makes it harder to read their minds, to know their auras or get information out from one.”

It gets you thinking, and your curiosity gets the better of you, and you’re asking him the question you’re dying to know. “What about half vampires?”

Alucard quirks an eyebrow, “Half vampires?”

“Yeah, does it work on you? You’re half vampire, half human, after all.”

“You want to give it a go?” There is something that flickers in his tone when he asks you that, one that plays into amusement, and it makes your heart flutter in a way that has you half-guessing yourself and stumbling over the right words. “I can tell you one thing, I’m quite hard to read.”

You’re already stepping up close to him, “I do quite like a challenge.” It’s only when you realise up close, how tall he is. You’ve never been this close up to him, and from here, you can see the smallest of subtly in his movements, the way his eyes flicker around the room quickly, as if always on high alert for trouble.

Alucard takes in your smug stance as he stares you down, a neutral expression falling over his, before he leans in ever so closely, his fangs poking out from his lips. “Boo.”

“Haha.” You rolled your eyes, knowing full well he was trying to make you lose concentration. It’s hard, not just to crack through to him, but to look at him this up close. He’s handsome, you admit it, and there’s that ethereal beauty to him that makes him look eerie compared to other humans.

You try to ignore it as you stare into his comely face, rather than concentrating on just his eyes and eyes alone. Were his eyes always this bright? A golden contrast, like golden leaves of autumn, or smooth honey. Eyes are the windows to the soul, right? So why did you find it intimidating to look through his gaze and look through him as a person?

It feels like the smallest of cracks to a mirror at first before you can even reach the first layer, and you’re met with a heavy, hard-hitting wall.

What on earth? You tug and pull within your mind, amazed at just how mentally strong Alucard is.

You can picture it as standing in front of a locked door, needing a key to pass through. You were so close, yet so far, and when you blinked out from your trance, Alucard chortles in what sounded like victory to winning. “Quite the challenge, isn’t it?”

“Just what exactly were you thinking of?” You tilt your head, “That witches have pointy hats, or fly on broomsticks?”

His laugh is airy and it fills you with hope that maybe, you will be able to crack at him one way or another. “You could say so.”

The two of you continued your readings, and you noticed that he was a bit closer to you, sharing a short space with you as the two of you looked at the same shelf. Though Alucard was always the gentleman and remained a lengthy distance away from you, he seemed at ease.

“This may be of interest to you,” Alucard pulled forth a book from the shelf, handing it over to you. You grabbed, accidentally reaching, your fingers touching. He was oddly warm for a half-vampire, not like a stone-cold, cold-blooded creature. “Maybe we could start here.”

“This could work,” you prop the book up as you go to the right page: the act of telekinesis. “Though, I don’t think I’ve used it before.”

“I’m here in support,” Alucard takes a cautionary step to the side, pointing to the stack of books in the middle of the room, some that had been read through. “Start with one of them.”

You looked between him and the pile, and a feeling of instant negativity washed over you. “I don’t know—”

“I believe in you.” Alucard praises you gently, and for a moment, you can’t concentrate on anything else but the way he supports you. You feel your cheeks flush, and you suddenly want to hear more of his approval.

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and shutting the world around you out. You’re in a dark room, with no air or light, just you focusing and holding out your arms. Concentrating on your breathing, you focused on nothing but what was in the room. When you finally opened your eyes, you spoke the word clearly. “Prodire.”

The stack didn’t move at first, and before you were to even complain to Alucard for your lack of power, you heard the sound of books flipping through to shut, and a lone, heavy-leather bound book lifted clumsily into the air, hanging a few inches off the air but floating.

Your excitement is loud when you gasp in amazement, looking to the Dhampir for approval, whose eyes are already on you, impressed. You look back to the floating book, motioning with your hand in a “come hither”, watching as the book – as if had been picked up by someone – slowly took in your words, approaching sluggishly.

Nice and steady, like water. You told yourself, focusing on bringing the book towards you. It was not even halfway towards its previous spot and when it stopped you sighed intensely, overwhelmed as your face burst into awkwardness.

“I didn’t think this would happen,” you offer an awkward laugh to ease the air, watching with a glance to Alucard, who didn’t seem so embarrassed by this little mishap. He was one to encourage you more. “You’ve got this,” he spoke, “pretend I’m not here if it helps put your mind at ease.”

That’s easier said than done. You thought, and you spoke again, “Prodire.”

Nothing came from the book as you sighed in defeat, your frustration rising with the way your tone did as well. Alucard was quick to try and step in. “I think you should—”

He didn’t get the rest of his sentence out when something surged forward towards you. Not just the one book that had been already floating, but the many others that had been still on the floor. They flew at you with such speed that you didn’t have time to react to even what was coming at you.

Bracing to be hit was your only way to react in time, but something grabbed you around the waist, pulling you backwards against a hard surface, before seconds later the sound of books colliding into the nearby shelf shattered your ears.

Your heart was racing, and it resonated against the surface your back was pushed against. You didn’t realise you were holding your breath, your adrenaline was slowly settling.

“Are you alright? The voice of Alucard was oddly close to your ear, and within seconds, you realised he was the one who pulled you out of the way from the flying books. You turned to look back at him, very much aware your body was burning from his touch, very aware of how close he was, the way he smelled so sweetly—

 “Yes, I’m okay,” you managed to pull away, still feeling the warmth of his hands around your waist, trying to regain a level of composure. Your hands are sweaty and you’re wiping them across your dress urgently. “Thank you, Alucard.”

“What happened there?” He asked, and despite the softness in his dulcet voice, there was still concern in his words. “Your mind was elsewhere.”

“Yes, I think so. You were correct though,” you confirmed. “Magic can misfire.”

“It will come back to you with some time,” you watch the way Alucard’s throat bobs nervously, “I believe you can do so.”

His kind words are a shock to you, and you’re not so certain why he is so suddenly praising you constantly. Part of you thinks it’s out of kindness, whilst the other part of you tells you he just wants you to be out of his castle quicker, and in hopes you’d learn in time before your month ends.

I will learn, no matter how long it takes. You tell yourself, and you tell Alucard that perhaps you will stay in the library for a bit longer to improve.

Alucard does not seem exasperated at your choice, though you may mistaken the look of disappointment that floods his eyes. “Very well,” he drawls, and he’s slow to leave the library, leaving you to yourself.

Sighing heavily in defeat, you pull the books you had failed to bring towards you, pulling up the correct page as you went to try again.

-

Latin Translation:

My smile turned indulgent, as fondness bloomed in my chest. It was plain to see how utterly smitten the boy was with my darling daughter. As mother, I was glad.

Unfortunately, my husband did not share my sentiments.

His fearsome growls hadn’t let up since the moment our child had brought her boyfriend over to meet us. Papyrus didn’t seem to be affected by the menacing sounds, and had given no indication that he even heard them, nor saw the truly frightful expression on Skull’s face. I could almost have assumed that the skeleton monster was dangerously naive and oblivious, were it not for the very careful way he maintained his distance from Skull, and stuck to either mine or my daughter’s side at all times. More tellingly, Papyrus hadn’t gone anywhere near the water’s edge the entire visit.

A very wise decision. My husband wasn’t the best at resisting temptation, after all.

By the fireplace, my daughter looked up from where she was sat on the floor, petting both her own feline familiar, Midnight, and my own Missy. Without halting her petting, she mirrored her boyfriend’s confident grin.

“Yeah! And we’re already off to a great start!”

I giggled, seeing the two of them so fired up. Ah, young love.

“My, my, what a passionate couple you two make.”

Both of them beamed at me, and I giggled again. Such cute children.

My mother, whose skull was overlooking us from her spot on the mantelpiece, wasn’t as enthused by the kids’ youthful vigour as I was. She gave a light scoff, her eyelights rolling in their sockets.

“You’re a sweet child, Papyrus,” she admitted, rather begrudgingly. “Foolish, but sweet. I pray you have someone close to you, to prevent you from walking off the edges of any cliffs, while chasing butterflies.”

My daughter puffed up indignantly, her face flushing with embarrassment.

“Hey, that was one time ! When I was just a little kid! And those were extremely rare and exotic butterflies!”

My mother’s frown was unimpressed.

“But your mishaps are all too common, child. You lack focus , and discipline . And some actual common sense.”

My daughter pouted, looking absolutely adorable in her discontent. I fought back the urge to coo at her sulky expression. I doubted she would appreciate it. But she truly was such a precious child. Even when her spells backfired, they did so in the most entertaining ways. It was perhaps unkind of me, as her mother, to find enjoyment in her many failures, but I couldn’t help it. I just hoped my dear child didn’t begrudge me my amusement.

Besides, it appeared as if she didn’t need me to rush to her defence. Not when she had such a devoted boyfriend.

Papyrus leapt to his feet, shooting my mother a very stern look, and propping his hands on his hips.

“SHE DOESN’T NEED COMMON SENSE! SHE ALREADY HAS SPECIAL SENSE! BECAUSE SHE IS A SPECIAL PERSON!” he argued, his voice rising in intensity. “SHE WORKS VERY HARD TO GET BETTER! AND SHE HAS GOTTEN BETTER! MUCH BETTER THAN WHEN SHE ACCIDENTALLY TURNED HERSELF INTO A DOG! HER POTIONS ONLY BLOW UP HALF THE TIME NOW!”

My daughter blushed again, both at the reminder of her botched spell, which had led to their first, not-at-all romantic meeting, as well as at the more explosive results of her unstable magic. Papyrus kept going, seemingly unaware that his words weren’t quite as complimentary as he probably thought they were.

“BUT! MORE IMPORTANTLY! SHE’S A GREAT PERSON!! AND I SHOULD KNOW. I AM, AFTER ALL, VERY GREAT,” he grinned proudly, displaying a truly breathtaking level of self-confidence I almost envied. “MY DATEMATE IS KIND! AND COMPASSIONATE!! JUST LIKE ME! WE ARE THE PERFECT MATCH!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!”

Papyrus winked at his girlfriend, to which she responded with a shy smile. Her blush was no longer from embarrassment, but from bashfulness, as her eyes lit up with joy.

I watched them both with my own, pleased smile.

“You are absolutely correct, Papyrus,” I agreed, inclining my head towards him. “I have indeed raised a kind and compassionate daughter, with a good heart. Far better than this world deserves, frankly.” My smile sharpened just a tad. “Fortunately for her, my own mother couldn’t say the same.”

From the dark edge to my mother’s smirk, I’d say she agreed with me.

But Papyrus, surprisingly, did not.

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” he protested immediately. He seemed pretty convinced of his words, despite having only met me today. “EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!” Technically true. But not everyone wanted to be a great person. Or a good one. Like me, for example. “AND YOU MUST BE VERY GREAT YOURSELF. OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO RAISE SUCH A GREAT CHILD! SHE HAS A VERY KIND HEART, WHICH SHE HAD TO HAVE GOTTEN FROM HER KIND PARENTS!”

My face softened involuntarily, the edges of my smile smoothing out into something a little less polished, but a lot more genuine. What a sweet child indeed.

“Thank you, Papyrus. You have a very kind heart yourself. I’m glad my daughter chose such an upstanding gentleman as her partner. I know you’ll treat her right.”

The skeleton monster beamed at me, his entire demeanour lighting up. His bones almost rattled, as he trembled with excitement.

“WOWIE!! THANK YOU, MA’AM!!”

I chuckled softly, feeling unbearably fond of how sincerely he wore his heart on his sleeve. I’d never met anyone as expressive, nor as honest with his emotions, as him. It was truly refreshing.

“Now, now, dear, I insist that you call me ‘mother’. We are practically family, after all.”

Predictably, Papyrus lit up even more at that. His wide grin, twinkling eyelights, and the dusting of pink coating his cheekbones, all too clearly conveyed how ecstatic he was.

“OKIE DOKIE!! THANK YOU, MOTHER !!!”

He then turned to Skull.

I blinked. Surely not... He wouldn’t...

But he would, and did.

“AND THANK YOU, FATHER!!” he yelled, without any trace of fear, despite the very clear hostility my husband only barely managed to hold back, for our daughter’s sake if nothing else.

Skull stilled, his growls abruptly cutting off, as the Forest God stared at Papyrus in bewilderment. I stifled a laugh with my hands, as my husband continued to stare in muted shock, as his mind struggled to process exactly what the much smaller skeleton had dared to call him. When Papyrus’s words had finally sunk in, however, Skull’s growls resumed, deeper and fiercer than ever.

To Papyrus’s credit, he didn’t appear to be the least bit intimidated, his big, bright grin not diminishing in the slightest. I couldn't help but to be deeply impressed by his bravery.

Even my mother seemed impressed.

“You’ve got a lot of guts, boy,” she remarked, a distinct note of approval in her voice. “Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

Papyrus preened, adopting a proud stance.

“HEH HEH NYEH! THAT’S ONLY NATURAL. US SKELETONS ARE KNOWN FOR OUR INSIDES, AFTER ALL!”

Either ignoring, or not noticing Mother’s blank look, Papyrus went to join his girlfriend on the floor, plopping down beside her, and happily accepting the purring ball of fur that was Midnight.

Shaking my head, a fond tilt to my lips, I drifted over to my mate’s side. Skull acknowledged my presence with a light nudge to my side with his snout, before resuming his attempt to incinerate our daughter’s boyfriend with the sheer force of his glare. I rubbed Skull’s snout in consolation.

“Enough of your grousing, my love,” I told him, tone firm, smile soft. Skull grumbled stubbornly, refusing to stop growling, as his angry, crimson glare remained fix on Papyrus. I sighed. “Come on, dearest. Stop trying to scare off the poor boy. It’s obviously not working. Just accept that he’s the one our daughter has chosen as her mate.”

“ NO...! ” he snarled, near incoherent with rage. “ never...! he... can’t... have... my... baby...! ”

I sighed again, more emphatically. Shaking my head in exasperation, I gave Skull a pitying smile.

“Oh love...” I whispered, leaning my head against his, and feathering a kiss upon his muzzle. “She’s not a baby anymore. Our daughter’s all grown up.”

“ no... ” Skull denied, but I could tell from the plaintive edge to his voice, that he was finally starting to give in. “ she will... always be... my baby... ”

I hugged his head in sympathy.

“Mine too, love,” I agreed, feeling wistful and nostalgic. A part of me was proud of how much our daughter had grown, both as a person and as a witch. But another part of me mourned the baby I had carried in my womb, and cradled in my arms. Just where had all those years gone? “Mine too...”

Skull let out a low, sad whine, his growls finally ceasing, as he accepted, very, very reluctantly, the reality of our situation. Our daughter was an adult, living her own life, away from us. It was a difficult pill for either of us to swallow.

“Think of it this way, love. We haven’t lost a daughter, we’ve gained a son. Our family has only grown bigger. And happier.”

Skull’s expression was anything but happy, right then. But I knew that our daughter’s happiness mattered more to him than his own. For her sake, he would tolerate this new man in her life, who’d stolen her heart and become the most important person in her world.

As for myself, I would set aside my worries, and my sorrow, and my selfishness. For my child, I would do anything.

I had my husband. My familiars. My mother. My home. And I had the knowledge that my daughter was happy. And therefore, I was happy. The love I held for my family, and the love they had for me, were all I needed to live each day with a smile on my face and hope in my heart.

_____________________________________________

In my head, the child you see here isn't the same one who was born in the last chapter, but I've left it vague enough that you can view her either way. If you prefer them to be the same, then that's totally fine. I'm not sure if I'll ever write about the first child's story, though, as I'm not sure if it'll be interesting enough (if you want to know, she falls for the Sans Forest God, whom I'm calling Moss, since there's already a Sans in this universe).

With this epilogue out of the way, I've officially finished this work! Yay!! XD

I can now finally focus on one of my other WIPs, which have been begging for my attention for a while now. Writing this fic was fun, but also exhausting, and I'm glad to be able to think about something besides these characters from now on. I'm proud of all of the effort and care I've put into this fic, and hope it shows to you lovely readers.

Daring a peek over my shoulder, I caught a glimpse of Skull’s red eyelight, shining brightly in the growing gloom of the evening, its pupil still heart-shaped. His mouth was stretched in a wide smile, soft and sappy, in spite of the wickedly-sharp teeth lining his jaws.

I looked back at the cake, feeling that crimson gaze continuing to burn a hole in my back. If I gave Skull the cake now, he might take it as a sign of my ‘affections’. My brows furrowed, indecision gripping my mind. It wouldn’t do to encourage the deity’s attention, flattering though it may be. But still...

I chanced another glance at him. He was still staring at me, adoration written all across his skull and radiating from his magic. His face brightened when he noticed my gaze, his magic buzzing excitedly in the air. I hastily looked away.

He’d definitely be happy to receive my offering. I pursed my lips, as I imagined the joyful expression he’d likely make, how much more electrified his magic would become. Given the horror stories I’d been told by the townsfolk, I was certain that Skull hadn’t received an offering in years, if not centuries. He really would be happy if I were to give him one now.

I sighed heavily, my shoulders falling, before I drew myself back up, my face set with determination. Skull had shown me nothing but kindness since I arrived in his domain. The very least I could do, was to show him a bit of kindness in return, and give him the cake that I’d already baked for him. Firming my resolve, I grabbed the honey cake with both hands and marched straight toward him.

Skull shifted from foot to foot as I approached him, looking for all the world like a gigantic, skeletal puppy, eager for his owner’s attention. I cleared my throat and held out the cake, uncovering it to show him what I’d brought him.

“I baked this for you, Skull, as an offering. It’s a honey cake. I hope it pleases you.” I offered him a polite smile, showing none of the doubts plaguing my thoughts, and braced myself for what I assumed would be an overzealous reaction, given how he’d acted so far.

But I received no such reaction. In fact, I hardly received any reaction at all.

Skull stared at my cake with a strangely blank look, the widening of his eyelight being the only indication of the shock he seemed to be experiencing. His mouth opened, but after a few seconds without a word being said, it closed again, only to reopen several heartbeats later.

After a minute of watching Skull’s muted gawking at my cake, I could stand the awkward silence no longer. “What’s wrong? Do-... do you not like the cake?”

That finally got a reaction, as Skull’s head snapped toward me. “NO!... no... i... i... i love it... so much... it... thank you... i... thank... you...”

Then, to my utter horror, large tears started gathering along the corners of Skull’s eye sockets, eventually tipping over and dripping down his skull. Panic clawed at my chest, as the God of the Wetland continued to cry, a low, keening whine filling the air.

I shifted the cake to one arm, and used the other to stroke Skull’s wet muzzle. “There, there...” I murmured to him, as comfortingly as I could, with only the slightest edge of panic to my voice. “Oh dear, please don’t cry, sweetheart...! It’s all right, there’s no need for tears. Please, Skull, eat this cake. I baked it especially for you!”

I held the cake out once more, a pleading smile on my face. Skull’s tears finally seemed to slow down, although they didn’t stop completely. He sniffed loudly, then nudged me, very gently, with the tip of his snout.

“i can’t... eat this... it’s a... gift... from you... it’s too... precious... to eat... i will... cherish it... forever...” he insisted, voice as wobbly as his red eyelight.

I huffed a sigh. “It’s a cake. It’s meant to be eaten! That’s why I baked it.” I barely held back an eyeroll, exasperation leaking into my voice.

However, Skull refused to budge. The tears still steadily falling down his skull didn’t seem like they’d stop any time soon, so out of desperation, I finally told him, “Fine! I’ll bake you more cakes! If you eat this one and cheer up, then I will definitely bake you all the honey cakes you want in the future. Okay? Please?”

That seemed to give him pause. Skull stood in silence for a few seconds, contemplating my offer, before he finally nodded his head. “all... right... if that’s what... you want... and if you’ll... give me... more... you will... give me more... right...?”

I instantly nodded to him. “Absolutely! Lots more cake, just for you! And anything else you want me to cook for you!”

In hindsight, that was probably a reckless vow to make, one that could easily be taken advantage of. Still, Skull seemed satisfied, and his weeping finally ceased. He opened his mouth wide and looked at me expectantly. Getting the message, I tossed the entire cake into Skull’s gaping maw, and watched it snap shut. I neither saw nor heard any chewing, but the Wetland God made several appreciative sounds, which soon devolved into more purring.

Crisis averted, I sighed, my shoulders sagging. I’d come dangerously close to making a promise I wasn’t fully certain I’d be able to keep, and I’d probably only reinforced Skull’s troublesome expectations of me and our relationship. I was really beginning to regret offering that stupid cake to him.

And yet... as Skull continued to purr, his magic humming in contentment, I couldn’t deny the warmth blooming in my chest. An involuntary smile curled onto my face, at the deity’s blissful expression. As I’d expected, he definitely was happy to receive my offering.

~~~

The next morning, I awoke to the beautiful singing of songbirds. Snuggled in warm blankets and soft pillows, I yawned, languidly stretching out my body. Feeling refreshed and well rested, I opened my eyes, ready to greet the new day.

And was greeted, instead, by Skull’s massive head, staring at me from the hollow’s entrance, his single ruby eyelight fixed unblinkingly on my face.

I suppressed a flinch, as memories of the previous day came flooding back to me. Right. I had yet another admirer to deal with. One I couldn’t dismiss as easily as I could all of the previous ones. Forcing away the urge to bury my head beneath my blanket and go right back to sleep, I dragged myself out of my cosy nest and got up.

Skull perked up, leaning his head toward me to nuzzle me, with a gentleness belying his tremendous size. The glow of his red eyelight softened, beginning to shimmer, the pupil once again becoming heart-shaped.

Reflexively, I reached out to pet his muzzle, receiving a purr in return. I probably shouldn’t have been indulging the Wetland God like this, but something about his earnest desire for my affection was too endearing for me to resist. Skull let out several cute little chirps, in between his constant purring, and unable to help myself, I leaned forward to wrap my arms around his wide snout as best as I could. The purring only intensified at the hug.

“Good morning, Skull,” I mumbled against his bones. I didn’t ask him whether he’d been stood there, staring at me all night, just silently watching me sleep. I was afraid of the answer.

“yes... it is!... such a... very... very good... morning... with you... here with me...” he rumbled back, his deep, gravelly voice managing to sound incredibly tender, and full of joy. “i’ve been... all alone... for so... so long... but not... anymore... not now that... i have you...” He beamed at me, his eyelight practically sparkling in its socket. “i’m so... happy... i love you... so much... my wife... my mate... my love...”

He sounded so sincere, so genuine, as he spoke of his ‘love’ for me, that I couldn’t prevent heat from spreading across my cheeks. I pressed my face to Skull’s, trying to hide the flush in my cheeks, feeling more embarrassed than I had in a very long time. I’d never blushed before, like some shy, simpering girl-child. It was undignified. Mortifying. And utterly unbecoming of a powerful sorceress.

Stepping away from Skull, I turned my back to him and cast my eyes all around me for something to focus on, beside the sad, pitiful whine of a lovesick Forest God. However, there was nothing to see in the tree hollow, except for the piles of blankets and pillows, and the various little human trinkets strewn about the place. This simple den was also unbefitting of a powerful sorceress.

Mind made up, I faced Skull again, and announced my intentions. “Skull, while your nest is very, uh, charming, it’s too small and basic for a witch like me to live and work in. I need a proper home. Would you happen to know of a spot where I may construct for myself a witch’s cottage?”

The Wetland God didn’t look too happy with my request. He fidgeted, pawing lightly at the thick tree roots, eyelight dimming, and let out an anxious-sounding whine. “but... nest is... for mate... you can’t go... somewhere else... mate must... stay in... our nest...!”

His fidgeting got worse, and a few of the flowers on his legs and horns wilted. I bit my lip, unsure how to convince him to let me leave, without him getting too upset. Forest Gods were creatures of instinct, first and foremost, and the last thing I wanted was to trigger Skull’s more possessive instincts. Suddenly, he lifted his head, his eyelight shining brightly with hope.

“i can... make nest... better...for you...!” he eagerly proposed. “i can... make it bigger... can change it... for you...!”

I hesitated, feeling sceptical about his idea, uncertain whether his magic was stable enough for such complicated alterations to the giant tree, but his pleading expression was hard to deny. With a resigned sigh, I nodded my head.

“Very well, I accept your offer,” I conceded, to which he beamed at me, his eyelight almost glittering within his eye socket. “I’ll assist you with my own magic, of course. Together, we should hopefully be able to fashion a suitable house out of this tree.”

 I tried to inject as much confidence into my voice as I could, if only to dispel my own doubts. Skull looked excited and relieved, shifting his considerable weight from foot to foot, his large head swaying slightly.

“yes...! together...!” he agreed, very enthusiastically.

Then, tossing his head back, Skull let out an ear-splittingly loud bellow, shaking the ground and the trees with the force of his roar, and causing the water to ripple outwards. I covered my ears, shrinking back and away from him.

The Wetland God’s magical aura spread out from him, filling the air, and coating the surrounding area, concentrating on the giant tree in particular. As the ancient and powerful Nature Magic seeped into the tree, it started growing, its branches lengthening and its trunk thickening, the hollow expanding along with it.

I retreated to Skull’s side, to observe the transformation. It wasn’t... exactly what I was hoping for... But it was a start. Filled with determination, I sent out my own magic, entwining it very carefully with Skull’s, and guided his wild magic to where I needed it to go. Skull’s magic responded eagerly, if clumsily, to my direction, and together, we slowly shaped the tree into a form more suitable for my needs.

I smiled to myself. Yes, Skull and I would be able to make this tree into a home. Together.

And over the next several days, we set about doing just that.

It took a lot of time, work, and dedication, but the two of us devoted ourselves completely to the lengthy and arduous task of transforming the giant tree into a treehouse (or rather, a tree-cottage). At the end of the day, I was often magically drained, both from having to guide Skull’s chaotic and untamed magic, and from having to cast various spells for the more delicate and finicky adjustments, as well as physically exhausted, from the manual jobs that magic could not accomplish. But I was also incredibly proud of our achievement.

We were making steady progress, and I knew that soon, much sooner than I had anticipated, I would have my forever home.

~~~

A cottage was not all that I required, however. At my request, Skull raised a sizeable chunk of land above the water, beside the den, to serve as my garden. The soil there was fertile and saturated in potent Nature Magic, so anything that was planted in it was sure to thrive. On top of the usual fruits and vegetables, I’d also planted various flowers and herbs for potion-making.

Additionally, Skull kept encouraging moths, bees, and other pollinators to visit my garden. The bees, in particular, gave me an idea of how I could express my gratitude to the Wetland God, for all of his invaluable help. It took me most of an afternoon, but I managed to craft a large, wooden apiary. Then, I used an insect charm to lure a queen honey bee into settling inside it.

After a few of days, and many enchantments, I had a rapidly growing colony of bees, to help pollinate my garden, and to produce honey, which I then used to bake cakes and other sweet treats for Skull. I had told him that I would bake him more honey cakes, after all. Thankfully, his reactions to my offerings weren’t as alarming as his first one, even if he was no less delighted, each time I gave him one. Moreover, I also discovered that the Wetland God was especially fond of warm, freshly-baked bread, soaked in honey.

Occasionally, though, I’d come across a flower in my garden which I was certain I hadn’t planted myself. They were always vibrantly colourful, but were otherwise completely useless to me and had no beneficial properties whatsoever. It seemed obvious to me that Skull had grown them, likely as an attempt to please me. While I did appreciate his thoughtfulness, I didn’t want useless flowers taking up room in my garden, so I removed them each time I spotted one.

Nevertheless, I didn’t have the heart to just toss away Skull’s gifts. I could only too easily picture the look of heartbreak he’d give me, and it made my chest ache, for reasons I couldn’t explain. It was frustrating, and almost made me want to throw away the flowers, just to spite the feeling. However, I merely put Skull’s flowers in one of my taller chalices, one made out of clear crystal. I placed the makeshift flower vase by one of the windows I’d recently installed in the side of the tree, and it made for an aesthetically pleasing sight, if nothing else.

It didn’t take long for me to run out of space for the flowers, though, and I had to get a little creative about where to stuff anymore I kept finding. I was sorely tempted to ask Skull to stop growing flowers I didn’t want in my garden, but the thought of his disappointed expression made me hold my tongue. It was just a minor inconvenience, anyhow, and certainly not worth complaining to an Old God about, especially not one as emotional as Skull.

One day, however, one of Skull’s flowers did manage to catch my eye. It was a rare blossom, and toxic if consumed, but its pollen was used in many regenerative potions, so I decided to let it stay in my garden. I even gathered some of its seeds, to grow more of this valuable specimen. Skull had evidently noticed my interest in this particular flower, as the next morning, I found more of them growing in my garden.

From then on, each time I showed any interest in a specific flower, by the following day, more of them would have appeared. This then extended to any herbs or fungi I found in the swamp, and brought home with me. Furthermore, whenever I caught an insect or other small critter for my potions, or collected ingredients from the local wildlife, such as those alligator teeth I’d been eyeing that first day, I’d come across even more of them afterwards, as I explored the swamp.

Skull was clearly always paying attention to me, and his attentiveness warmed my heart more than I cared to admit. And he was never overt or demonstrative with these gifts, either. While he was very open about his feelings for me, and never hesitated to declare his love for me or to nuzzle me, calling me his “wife” and “mate”, his gifts to me were always subtle, and he never drew attention to them, as if he were shy about giving them to me directly.

And I never thanked him openly, either. Despite appreciating his gifts more than I ever had anyone else’s, the thought of expressing my gratitude to him so plainly, so sincerely, left me feeling a little too... vulnerable. So instead, I baked him more cakes. And biscuits. And pies. And whatever else I thought he might enjoy.

And each time I would give them to him, he’d have the most heartfelt look of joy and wonder on his face, in spite of his lack of facial muscles, and his magic would thrum so happily, so excitedly, that it felt like an even greater gift than all of the flowers in my garden.

~~~

The plants and other potions ingredients weren’t the only present Skull would leave for me, however.

The Wetland God kept coaxing pretty insects and colourful birds to the area around my home. While Artemis enjoyed playing with the insects, especially the dragonflies, much to their distress, Hermes didn’t take kindly to the other birds showing off on what he now considered his territory, and never failed to chase them all away the moment he spotted one.

Skull seemed more than a little downhearted about that. But he never complained, or tried to stop my familiars, and instead, kept attracting more visually appealing wildlife to my home, in the hopes that I would appreciate them. Well, I appreciated the effort, at least. For being such a fearsome and often violent Forest God, who had killed countless humans in the past several centuries, he could be surprisingly sweet.

Besides his other, natural gifts, Skull also started leaving me shiny trinkets and glittering jewellery. I was initially baffled as to where he could’ve possibly gotten these man-made objects from, before discovering the answer from one such present.

One of the rings was especially ornate, with a large, glimmering gemstone in the centre, surrounded by smaller, clear jewels, which I presumed to be diamonds. More interestingly, though, I noticed that it bore an inscription on the inside, which read “To R, with everlasting love, C”. I realised, then, that Skull had taken all of these items off of the intruders he’d drowned in the bog.

I shrugged, and tied a string to the ring, hanging it up from a nearby branch, where it caught the sunlight and sparkled magnificently. Waste not, want not, after all. Besides, it wasn’t like these items’ original owners would need their things anymore.

Skull looked pleased, when he noticed that I’d made use of his gift. I found more jewellery the next day. It took a while to wash off the mud and tar still stuck to them, but they made very beautiful decorations for my new home.

~~~

One thing I couldn’t help but notice, regarding Skull, was that throughout my time in the swamp, I’d often spot him conversing with alligators, or various marsh birds. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, obviously, and it left me intrigued.

Hermes was the one to enlighten me, when I voiced my curiosity. He’s asking them for advice. On how to woo you.

Well that was a surprise.

And also... rather adorable.

Sitting on the lip of wood at the entrance to my home, I glanced over at Skull. He seemed to be watching very intently, as a heron cawed loudly at him, spreading its wings and extending its neck, displaying its plumage, and snapping its bill rather aggressively. I stifled a laugh as Skull proceeded to rip a branch off of a nearby tree, and presented it to the heron, who then nodded at him, apparently deeming the Wetland God’s efforts satisfactory.

I shook my head, unable to keep the smile off of my face, as fondness settled itself in my heart. He really was adorable, sometimes.

Still smiling, I turned to my familiars. “Has Skull ever come to you two for help, or advice on how to, heh, win my heart?” I asked them, although internally, I suspected I already knew the answer. As well as exactly how much help Skull would’ve received from them.

Hermes bristled his feathers. He has. I refused. I would never betray Mistress’s secrets.

Artemis didn’t even bother to look up, as she groomed herself meticulously. He did... I ignored him...

I snorted, my smile turning wry. Just as I thought. No help whatsoever.

But then I paused, as a curious thought came to me. What would it take to win my heart? Countless people had tried, for most of my life, all without success. Not a single person had come even close to earning my affections. I knew, then, what didn’t work. But I’d never given a thought as to what would.

My brows furrowed, as it suddenly hit me that I had no idea what would make me fall in love with someone, no idea what would be able to finally melt the walls of ice I’d erected around my heart.

A shadow suddenly fell over me and I looked up.

Skull was standing in front of me, just outside the entrance (thankfully, without the tree branch, stars knew what I would do with it). I was getting much better at reading his expressions, and I could tell that he looked troubled. His magical aura was tinged with want and frustration and worry.

I reached up to pet his snout, dragging my nails gently along hard bone, and he calmed down immediately, his magic settling into a pleasant hum. “What’s wrong, Skull?”

The giant creature let out a low, unhappy sound, and pressed his nose into my touch. “want to hold you... want to hug you... want to cuddle... soft wife... but can’t... like this... too big... might hurt you...”

I wanted to coo at him, because that was so cute, and so like him, but I managed to restrain myself. Instead, I gave him a commiserating smile and pet him harder. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. You are just a bit too big for cuddles, I’m afraid.”

His face fell and, unable to resist the urge, I leaned forward to place a kiss to the end of his snout.

His red eyelight lit up like a bonfire and his magic buzzed. The tension in his gaze intensified considerably, and he seemed to be focusing very hard on something. I could sense his magic condensing, his vast, powerful aura compressing and compacting in on itself. I gave a start, as Skull’s form shimmered, and then gradually began to shrink and mutate.

When everything had settled, Skull stood before me, not as a gigantic, monstrous Wetland God, but as something a lot smaller, and lot more... humanoid.

I gazed in awe at Skull’s new form.

His magic was too unstable for him to assume a fully human form, so instead, he appeared to be a huge, hulking, humanoid skeleton. His bones sported many chips and cracks, including a particularly big, jagged hole on top of his skull, a testament to his damaged psyche, but he was still altogether whole, and in one single, solid piece. The clothes he wore were ripped and ragged, their colour faded, but looked very soft, and even a little fluffy.

Skull’s expression was strained, his stance awkward, but the smile he gave me was tentatively hopeful. “it’s... hard... for me to... contain... my magic... in such a... small body... but now i can... hug you... please?... wife??”

There was nothing I could say to such an earnest request, besides, “Of course you can, dear.”

His expression brightened immensely, his entire body practically lighting up with joy, and I spread my arms invitingly. “Come here, Skull.”

Without wasting a single second, he stumbled towards me and wrapped his big arms around me, drawing me close to his broad chest and nuzzling the top of my head. Despite being much smaller than before, he still easily dwarfed me, and I was almost smothered by his hug. Still, I couldn’t find it in me to complain, or pull away.

His embrace was tight, and so very new and unfamiliar to me, but it was surprisingly gentle, and warm, and soft. Pressed up against him like this, I felt small, and delicate, but so, so precious.

With his magic brushing against me, radiating tenderness and affection, his rumbling purrs vibrating through me, and his strong, solid body all around me, I felt myself relax, leaning back into his hold. I practically melted in Skull’s arms, a delicious warmth seeping into my heart.

I felt so cherished, so loved. It was a wonderful feeling. One I never wanted to let go off.

~~~

Eventually, all of mine and Skull’s hard work paid off, and my tree-cottage was finally completed.

The original hollow had been expanded into a spacious, circular living room, complete with a fully-functional kitchen and dining area. Some stairs along the wall led to a second floor, which I’d designated as my study, and my potion-brewing space. The walls were all fully lined with shelves, completely taken up by either potion ingredients, magical instruments, or ancient tomes, as were the many desks and tables spread out wherever possible. A massive cauldron took pride of place in the centre. Another set of stairs was squeezed in amongst all of the magical paraphernalia, leading up to my bedroom, which also served as my observatory.

All in all, I was extremely satisfied with what the both of us had managed to accomplish, in such a short amount of time.

To celebrate, I baked another honey cake. Skull enjoyed the cake, while I enjoyed having a proper home, at long last. Even my familiars were pleased with our new living quarters.

It finally felt like the beginning of a promising, peaceful new life, the kind I’d always been longing for. And, for the first time since I’d stepped foot in the wetlands, I could finally say with complete confidence that I’d made the right choice, all along.

I was... hopeful. And... happy. Skull was happy, too.

The future was looking bright.

~~~

Now that I’d fully settled into life in the swamp, and completed construction on my tree-cottage, I decided it was time I got myself officially registered with the local Mage’s Guild, so that I could begin accepting clients and contracts again. A witch needed to earn a living after all, and I was getting bored and restless, without anything pressing to do.

Skull was predictably upset about my leaving, but I’d managed to convince him that it was important to me, and, after many, many reassurances that no, I wasn’t leaving him forever, and yes, I would definitely return to him, the clingy deity finally relented and allowed me to leave.

He still kept begging me to reconsider, though. I hadn’t thought a dog skull could look that sad and pitiful, but Skull always managed to surprise me, in the most unexpected ways. Truthfully, it was almost enough to make me give in to his pleas, but I firmed my resolve and pushed on.

The Old God escorted me out of his wetland, moping the entire way, and howled miserably when I finally stepped outside of his territory, and flew off into the horizon on my broom. His mournful wails followed me for a long time.

~~~

The headquarters of the Mage’s Guild were, naturally, within an ancient and massive castle, centred around a tall and imposing Sorcerer’s Tower. The accumulated, residual magic of generations upon generations of sorcerers saturated the entire area, sinking into the ground, and seeping into the rune-covered stone walls of the castle. You could practically taste the magic in the air.

It was a heady feeling, being in such a remarkable place.

Given what an eminent witch my mother had been, I was instantly welcomed into the Guild, and directed to go present myself officially to the Guild’s Master, while my familiars were taken to be registered in the Magical Menagerie.

The Guildmaster was a mage of very few words, and shrouded in mystery. They were widely regarded as being a sorcerer of considerable skill and power, second only to my late mother, and had quickly risen to the top of the Guild within only a handful of years. While their achievements were universally acclaimed, precious little was known about them personally, beyond the fact that they’d forsaken much in their pursuit of arcane and esoteric knowledge.

Even their own name.

They were also the only human, in the entire world, whom I respected, and even admired.

~~~

My registration was completed swiftly and efficiently, as was expected of someone as competent as the Guildmaster. They spoke coolly, and without inflection in their voice, as they questioned me on my magical abilities and specific talents. That, coupled with their calm, impassive demeanour, gave very little away regarding their thoughts.

It was honestly a bit intimidating, being in their presence.

But also, incredibly fascinating.

When the interview came to an end, I stared pensively at them, as they gathered all of their materials, with precise, economical movements.

“Have you ever been in love?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

I bit my lip, shocked at myself. What had possessed me to ask the Guildmaster such a personal question? And why on the subject of love, of all things?

The slight widening of their eyes, and the stuttering of their movements, were the only indications that the Guildmaster had heard me. They carried on with their task, as before, putting away all of their things in various trunks and desk drawers. As always, their inscrutable countenance, and deep, impenetrable eyes, gave nothing away.

The silence stretched on, until it got very uncomfortable, and just as I was about to open my mouth to apologise and change the subject, the Guildmaster finally gave me an answer. And it wasn’t the one I’d been expecting.

“Once. Briefly. Years ago,” they revealed, their voice as emotionless as ever, despite the subject matter. “But we had... differing priorities. So we parted ways.”

To say that that came as a surprise to me would be an understatement. The Guildmaster was well-known as an individual singularly focused on the pursuit of knowledge, who cared very little for anything not relating to their magical studies. They’d discarded all earthly attachments, and had immersed themself so fully in their research and their craft, that it was rumoured that they were now more magical spirit, than flesh-and-blood human.

Moreover, mages were solitary people by nature, generally choosing to remain isolated from the mundane for our own safety, and only coming together with fellow sorcerers to conduct trade, or to exchange knowledge we deemed important enough to share with the wider world. We otherwise kept mostly to ourselves, passing on our craft and family magics from mother to daughter, or from father to son.

I would never have guessed that one of the most mysterious and reclusive sorcerers in the world, would have ever sought companionship, let alone love. I honestly thought they were beyond such needs, or desires. Although, it seemed that, in the end, they were.

“Do you... ever regret it?... Any of it?” I couldn’t help but ask the Guildmaster, my voice quiet and unusually hesitant.

For a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw a brief flash of emotion flit across their face, but it was gone before I could be sure. I dismissed the thought. It was probably nothing more than a figment of my imagination.

“Regrets are pointless,” they affirmed, voice even as ever. “To dwell on the past, is to squander the present, and to sacrifice the future.”

They fell silent, and I thought our discussion over. But suddenly, they turned to me and fixed me with an oddly serious, and meaningful stare. “Which is why, no matter what you do, no matter what you choose, above all else, make sure that you do not regret your decisions.”

Unable to do anything else, I nodded. Seemingly satisfied with my response, they turned away, and the conversation ended there.

~~~

With all of my business with the Guild concluded, I prepared to take my leave, anxious to return home again. New witch’s licence in hand, I went to collect my two familiars from the Menagerie, and then retrieved my broom. Just before departing, however, the Guildmaster themself came to see me off.

“I am glad for the chance to have met you,” they told me, catching me off guard. I truly hadn’t thought that they would care about my presence here, one way or another. I still didn’t have quite the same reputation my mother had, after all. “You look well. And you seem happy. Good. It is what your mother would have wanted.”

And with those final, perplexing words, the Guildmaster disappeared back into the central Tower. I stared after them for a while, unsure what to think about our bizarre interaction, before I shook my head, banishing the encounter from my mind, and sat myself on my broomstick. Once Artemis was snuggled safely in my bag, and Hermes was securely perched on my hat, I then rushed us home, as fast as my broom could carry us.

I had a lonely husband to return to.

When I finally reached the Wetland, I kept flying, eager to get back to my home as quickly as possible. As I soared over the wetlands, though, I saw that most of the greenery had withered, and much of the landscape had been taken over by bog once more. Not a single flower remained. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest, at seeing how much my presence had clearly been missed.

Skull was there to greet me, before I had even made it to our tree-cottage nest. He called out to me, a sharp, high keen, his magic filled with excitement and overwhelming relief. I descended at once, and hoped off my broom, landing right on top of his massive head. Without pause, I immediately crouched down and threw my arms around him, pressing my lips to his skull in a firm kiss.

The air crackled and sparked with his magic, like electricity, sending tingles down my spine. Tiny flowers bloomed across Skull’s antlers, along his legs, and on the trees all around us.

“never... leave me... again...” he begged me, his voice trembling with emotion. “please... please don’t... ever leave me... alone... please... promise me that... you won’t... please...”

There were a million things I could say to that. But, for the first time in my life, I listened to my heart. “I won’t, Skull. I promise.”

His answering smile was all I needed, to know that this was one decision that I definitely would not regret.

~~~

There was one last, major decision left for me to make. A decision that would change my life more than any other I’d ever made. A decision that I could not afford to regret.

With a steaming cup of herbal tea in hand, I took a seat in front of the largest table in my study, and observed the ruby-red stone sat upon it with a critical eye. It was a rather innocuous-looking rock, about the size of my fist, transparent and glass-like, and coloured a deep, dark red. The average, non-magical human would probably assume it was nothing more than a hunk of coloured glass. But anyone with any magical ability whatsoever would be able to tell, at a glance, exactly what this stone was, and just how precious it truly was.

This was a Philosopher’s Stone.

A stone capable of transmuting base metals into gold, and which could produce the Elixir of Life, a mystical, miraculous potion able to cure any illness, heal any injury, and which could grant the drinker eternal life and youth.

It was, perhaps, my mother’s greatest achievement, or, at least, one of them, and was certainly her Magnum Opus as an alchemist. She’d dedicated years of her life to creating this legendary artefact, and when she’d finally succeeded, it had earned her untold fame within the magical community, since previously, only three other people had ever managed to create one. Mother had even gone on to share many of her findings with the scholars and researchers at the Mage’s Guild, in the hopes of furthering magekind’s understanding of alchemy, and its vast and innumerable possibilities.

She’d taken the Stone with her when she’d left the Guild, to go live a quiet life in an enchanted forest, after becoming pregnant with me, and I’d inherited it when she’d passed away. Neither of us had ever used it, though. We’d both been competent enough witches to accomplish all that we wanted to, without it. Mother hadn’t created the Philosopher’s Stone out of any great need or desire for its incredible properties. She’d simply done it to prove that she could.

But now, I did have a use for it.

A noise from outside drew my attention to one of the windows. With one last glance to the Stone, I tore my eyes away from it, and stood up. My feet carried me over to the window, and I looked outside, my lips automatically tilting up into a smile at the sight below.

Skull was returning from his patrol of the outer edges of his territory, and the swamp’s residents were welcoming him back. Hermes was hovering above him, having accompanied him on his patrol, but when my avian familiar spotted me, he gave a sharp cry to the Wetland God, before flying towards me. I hastily opened the window, just in time for Hermes to swoop in. He circled the room a few times, before finally landing atop one of the bookshelves.

Looking out the window again, I saw that Skull had noticed me as well. His happy expression was plain to see, even from this distance, so I waved to him. He called back to me, his deep, powerful voice making the water ripple, the leaves tremble, and my heart shudder in my chest. I gave him another wave, and a smile, before retreating, back to the Philosopher’s Stone.

I still had a decision to make.

Much had changed since I’d first stepped foot in the wetlands. I now had a home, a proper witch’s cottage to call my own, and I even got on fairly well with all of my new furry, feathery, and scaly neighbours, mostly thanks to Skull’s influence. All in all, I’d settled into life in the swamp far better than I’d ever dared hope for. This place was my home, and I never wanted to leave here.

Even my familiars had settled surprisingly well into their new life in the swamp. While Hermes still chased away any birds who dared venture too close to our home, he’d come to accept Skull as my mate, and even joined the Wetland God on his patrols. I’d often see the tan owl flying beside Skull, or perching himself on the deity’s huge horns.

Artemis, on the other hand, still hadn’t warmed up to Skull, and was content to simply ignore him most of the time. I’d assured a dejected Skull that it wasn’t anything personal, and that the black cat was just very independent, and preferred to keep to herself. Heck, she still wasn’t overly friendly with me, her master.

My feline familiar had finally grown to like the wetlands, however. When she was not curled up on a pillow at home, Missy was often out wandering the swamp, exploring her new territory, usually on the back of whatever poor alligator she’d somehow managed to bully into giving her a ride. While the humans were terrified of the God of the Black Wetland, it was my own black cat whom those actually living in the wetland had grown to fear.

But by far the most significant change, was my relationship with Skull.

I’d originally believed that Skull’s feelings for me were nothing more than a temporary infatuation, brought on solely by his crushing loneliness, and his desperate desire for companionship and love. The deity had been all alone, for centuries, after all. It was no wonder he’d gotten so attached to me, so quickly. But I’d assumed that once the novelty of my presence had worn off, his feelings for me would fade away and disappear.

But I had eventually realised how wrong I was.

The gigantic God of the Wetland had only grown more affectionate towards me over time, which was saying something, considering how obsessively he doted on me ever since we met. He was caring, attentive, thoughtful, and the most devoted creature imaginable. His love for me was evident in every action he took for me, every word he said to me, and every look he gave me. All of my doubts as to the sincerity of his feelings for me had long since vanished, in the face of his unwavering devotion to me. I was loved, and I knew it.

As for my own feelings towards him... they’d evolved, in ways I could not have anticipated. I’d grown to appreciate Skull, and all that he did for me, and cherished his fondness for me. I... cared for him... more than I ever thought possible. More than I ever thought I was even capable of, in all honesty. He made me feel things I never thought I could – warm things, gentle things, tender, soft things. Emotions both terrible and wonderful.

Without my realising, Skull had managed to sneak his way into my heart, and had made it his own.

Heavy footsteps from the floor below alerted me to my guest. I abandoned my musings, and made my way to the ground floor of my home, to go greet my husband.

Skull had once again taken his smaller, humanoid skeleton form, despite how difficult it was for him to maintain, so that he could enter my home safely. He was clearly here for more cuddles. And I was more than happy to oblige him.

As soon as Skull caught sight of me, his face lit up and he beamed at me. His movements awkward, and clumsy, in such an uncomfortable body, he stumbled towards me, arms wide open to receive me. I met him halfway, all but throwing myself into his embrace. Skull’s strong, thick arms encircled me, drawing my close, and pressing me tightly to his clothed rib cage. I wrapped my own arms around him, and smiled up at him.

“Welcome back, dear,” I greeted him, in a warm, tender voice I reserved just for him.

Skull’s already wide smile widened further, his single red eyelight shining brightly. He leaned his head down to nuzzle his face into my hair, low, rumbling purrs echoing from deep inside his chest.

“i... missed you... wife...” he mumbled into my hair, so close to my ear it sent pleasant shivers down my spine.

“I missed you too, husband,” I murmured back, removing one arm from around him, to raise it up to Skull’s face. I placed my hand on his cheekbone, my thumb rubbing gentle circles on his hard bones, and Skull eagerly leaned into my touch.

“you’re so... soft... and warm... and perfect... you smell... so nice... i love you...” he purred into my hand, the pupil of his eyelight becoming heart-shaped with adoration.

My smile softened, an impossibly tender feeling warming my heart, and spreading throughout my chest.

“I love you, too,” I whispered to him, and before he could react, I pulled his head down towards mine, leaning my own face up in tandem, and pressed my lips to his.

Skull froze, his entire body going still and rigid, before his arms tightened around me. Sharp phalanges dug into my skin, almost to the point of pain, but the skeletal deity managed to restrain himself just enough to avoid harming me. With a fierceness that took my breath away, Skull deepened our kiss, his mouth moving against mine with a passion I hadn’t known he was capable of. Small, colourful flowers bloomed all across his body, covering up every crack and every hole scarring his bones, and even filling up the large one on his skull.

As I closed my eyes, and surrendered myself to the emotions swelling within my chest, and the love in Skull’s kiss, I knew that I’d already made my decision. And that I wouldn’t regret it.

I had promised Skull that I would never leave him, after all.

~~~

Time passed, as it always did. But since it no longer affected me, I paid it no mind, and focused instead, on the joy of living.

My life now was peaceful, blissful; sometimes tranquil, sometimes exciting, but always satisfying. My days were full of love, and happiness, like I’d never known, nor dared to dream of.

I was happy. My mate, and husband, was happy. My familiars were happy. Even our wetland home was flourishing, thanks to Skull’s steadily improving mental health, and his overflowing positive emotions.

Everything was perfect, and it seemed like it always would be.

I truly believed that I was living my best life, and that there was nothing at all that could make it better.

... 

And then I became pregnant.

~~~

Discovering that we were going to be parents was more than a little overwhelming. For the both of us. Skull had been all alone, without anyone, for centuries, and I wasn’t much better in that regard, either. Neither of us were very confident that we would be up to the challenge of raising a child.

Those early days were tumultuous. Skull’s instincts went haywire, and he frenziedly tried to make our nest as safe and as comfortable as possible. He added even more pillows and blankets to the tree-cottage, until I could barely walk in my own home, and temporarily banished all of the alligators from the swamp. While Skull knew, on an intellectual level, that the poor reptiles would never hurt me, his protective instincts would not allow any large predators anywhere near me, his mate, while I was with child. The alligators were, understandably, very upset, but had begrudgingly obeyed.

Consequently, the marsh and bog had become even more dangerous for humans to traverse, even as both became more vibrant and alive, thanks to Skull’s huge increase of positive emotions.

Not that I was able to appreciate any of that, however. Given my delicate state, I wasn’t allowed to leave the heart of the swamp. I’d expected that, truthfully, but it was nonetheless mildly annoying. While I had rarely travelled far from the swamp to begin with, I still missed being able to collect potions ingredients, travelling the wetlands with my mate, either riding on his head, or with Skull trailing close behind me like a baby duckling. But a Forest God’s natural instincts could not be denied.

There was one major benefit to my pregnancy, though – Skull made a real effort to use his smaller, humanoid form more often, in spite of how uncomfortable it was for him. Our cuddles were becoming more and more frequent, which more than made up for everything. Being able to hold my husband close to my chest, and feel his arms around me, was worth any inconvenience I had to put up with.

My tree-cottage had also undergone some notable changes. Skull and I had constructed an extra room, attached to the main living area on the ground floor, which would serve as our child’s bedroom. It wasn’t very aesthetically pleasing, and made the giant tree look lopsided at the bottom, but I didn’t want our child to have to pass through the potentially dangerous study/potions area, just to reach their bedroom.

Skull had already started stuffing piles of blankets and pillows inside the new baby room, leaving barely any room for the child’s cot. I let him, reasoning that it was better that he do so there, than elsewhere in the cottage. I’d had to put my foot down, when my mate had tried to blanket my study.

Besides the living arrangements, preparing for our new arrival came with some rather... interesting challenges. All owing to the fact that neither of us knew what species our child would be.

This was because, while mages were considered humans, we were, technically, actually a sub-species of human. As such, we differed from ordinary, non-magical humans in a variety of ways, most notably our ability to use magic. Another difference was that, whether or not a child born to a mage was one themself, all depended on both the magical parent’s biological sex, as well as the child’s.

To be precise, a female child born to a witch would always be a witch, and a male child born to a wizard would always be a wizard (barring any future decision to change one’s sex). Otherwise, the child would be of the same species as their non-mage parent. In my case, that meant that I would either have a witch daughter, or a Forest God son. And neither of us would know until much later on in the pregnancy. For now, though, it was a mystery.

The prospect of my impending motherhood was both terrifying... and exciting.

Furthermore, as my pregnancy progressed, and the life within my womb kept growing, unknown emotions started taking root inside my heart. Feelings of love, both soft and tender, yet also powerful and all-consuming, swept over me with a ferocity which threw me off guard. I never thought that I would feel so completely and utterly devoted to, and protective of, a person who hadn’t even been born yet.

But as my belly swelled with new life, so too did my heart swell with emotion, as I fell more and more in love with this impossibly tiny, and precious creature I had yet to meet. And I wasn’t the only one caught in our baby’s spell.

Skull adored our child from the very moment he became aware of their existence. Despite how overwhelmed he was, and how out of our depths we both were, he was still beyond overjoyed to become a father. The Wetland God was completely obsessed with the tiny life growing inside me, and would frequently stare at my belly in wonder, as if not quite fully able to believe that there was a child in there, his child. It made him all the more endearing in my eyes.

Whenever he was in his humanoid form, Skull would place his hands so delicately, so hesitantly on my belly, and just leave them there, for as long as I would let him, desperately trying to feel his baby growing within me, and be as close to them as he could. And when the baby started to move, those touches became near constant. As inconvenient as it was, having Skull practically glued to my belly, seeing his face light up with pure joy and awe, each time our baby kicked, was more than worth it.

My husband also became even more attentive than ever, and did everything in his power to see that my needs were met. He kept making sure that I was comfortable, and happy, panicking whenever my “morning” (ha!) sickness acted up, and almost never left my side if he could help it. If there was something I wanted, he would try his best to get it for me, and had even learned to cook very simple meals, helping me around the house and the garden, whenever and however possible.

As for the things he couldn’t do, my familiars were more than capable of handling those. Both Missy and Hermes were frequently sent out to go fetch whatever food I was currently craving, with a note, a small bag, and some money clutched in their mouth or talons. Hermes was particularly adept at this, given how he was always the one who delivered the potions I brewed, to my clients.

Whenever my familiars weren’t out getting me supplies, they were either hovering protectively at my side, or were hanging out in the baby room, eagerly awaiting the little one’s arrival. Both had taken a keen interest in my child, even the normally aloof Artemis, and had appointed themselves my baby’s future protectors. A duty they both took very seriously. It was reassuring, knowing that I could always count on their support.

All in all, my pregnancy was progressing relatively smoothly, and all of us were greatly looking forward to welcoming the baby into our lives. We all already loved the child, so much, and yet we knew that our love for them would only grow stronger as time passed.

~~~

With all of these changes happening in my life, the one I least expected was how I’d begun to think about my mother again. I hadn’t thought about her much, if at all, ever since arriving in the wetlands, but now that I was about to become a mother myself, my mind would often turn to my own, late mother.

They weren’t even born yet, but I already loved my child with every fibre of my being. There was absolutely nothing that I wouldn’t do for their sake, and I was constantly thinking of ways I could ensure that they would live a healthy, happy life. I wanted only the best for my baby, and would do anything to achieve that.

All of a sudden, I could understand how my mother must’ve felt, when she was pregnant with me.

I could understand, only too well, just how desperate she must’ve been to make sure that I would not suffer the same fate as her. I could sympathise, only too keenly, with her fervent wish to see me loved and admired, by those who had hated and feared her. It was with startling clarity, that I could see exactly why she did what she did. A mother’s love was a powerful, and terrifying thing indeed.

And with that understanding, came a willingness to forgive.

The resentment I’d held in my heart, all these years, finally started to fade away.

I was finally ready to talk to my mother.

And so, on the night of the next new moon, at precisely midnight, I performed the ritual to summon Mother’s spirit from the afterlife, and bind it to her skull.

When it was done, I stepped back, and took a deep, fortifying breath, steeling myself for what was sure to be a very trying experience. It was never easy, talking to Mother, and I hadn’t done so in years. I was more nervous than I thought I would be.

When the hollow sockets of Mother’s skull lit up, those eyelights travelled around the room for a few tense seconds, before eventually settling on me.

“So, you’ve finally decided to talk to me, have you? Well, better late than never, I suppose.”

I reflexively hunched my shoulders at the chastising tone of her familiar voice, feeling like a young child once more, being scolded by her mother. I stood up straighter in defiance of that feeling, trying to dismiss it from my mind and my heart. I was an adult now, and soon to be a mother myself.

“It has, indeed, been a while, Mother.” I inclined my head to her, in acknowledgment. “I’ve been... busy, since last we spoke.”

Mother’s eyelights roved across my form, coming to a halt on my protruding abdomen. Her eye sockets widened.

“So I can see! It seems you’ve finally deigned to let someone touch you. Will wonders never cease?”

I pursed my lips, resisting the urge to rub my forehead, and soothe the ache I could feel building behind my brow. Instead, I raised my hand and gestured to Skull, who stood anxiously by the tree-cottage's entrance, his massive head peeking inside.

“Mother, I’d like to introduce you to my husband, the Forest God of these wetlands.”

Skull bowed his head in greeting, giving Mother a rather nervous-looking smile.

“hello... mate’s mother... nice to... meet you...”

Absolutely gigantic, monstrous-looking, shrouded in the darkness of a moonless night sky, and illuminated only by the glow of fireflies, and the crimson light of his eye, Skull made for quite the intimidating sight. But Mother only gave him a dismissive “hm” in response, her eyelights flitting across his features, before they returned to me.

“I’m not surprised, honestly,” she sniffed. I could practically see the shrug she was unable to give. “I always knew you’d never fall for an ordinary human.”

I had nothing to say to that, really.

Mother then turned her attention back to Skull.

“So then, what’s your name, big fella?” she asked him, her tone more casual than it had any right to be.

“Mother!” I hissed at her. “You can’t just ask that of a Forest God! It’s rude!”

The animated skull raised one of her brows, looking utterly unrepentant.

“So what?” she retorted, unabashedly. “What’s he going to do? Kill me harder? Is there another level of ‘dead’ I didn’t know about? If so, I’d like to see it. Should be an interesting experience.”

I sighed heavily, feeling my shoulders sag. This was going to be a long night. Turning to Skull, I gave my husband an apologetic look.

“Sorry about Mother. Please pay her no mind, love.”

I heard Mother harrumph behind me, but I ignored her, focusing only on my mate’s face, looking for any sign that my mother’s words had upset or angered him. But I found none. Instead, Skull was staring at Mother with what was unmistakably awe written all across his features.

“mate’s mother is... brave... and... spirited...” he remarked, sounding impressed. He then turned his head towards me. “just like... you...”

I wasn’t sure how to feel about such a comparison.

Mother gave Skull a broad, toothy grin.

“Yep. Girl’s always been headstrong and wilful, just like her mother,” she practically boasted.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, either.

Then Mother’s grin turned wry.

“It's a real wonder she’s never gotten herself into any serious trouble yet. As far as I’m aware of, at least.”

I was sure how to feel about that, however.

Affronted, I glared at Mother.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that not a single person I’ve met has ever had a bad word to say about me!”

Mother looked decidedly unimpressed.

“Of course not. They’re all too mesmerised by your beauty,” she rebutted. “A beauty I gave you, no less.”

The reminder of what had always been more of a curse to me, than a gift, stung. I shot her a baleful glare.

“I’m more than just a pretty face. So much more,” I insisted, tone carefully flat. Internally seething, I crossed my arms, my fingernails digging into my skin. “I’ve already made quite the name for myself, and the Mage’s Guild were most impressed with my talents.”

Mother snorted.

“Pah! The Mage’s Guild! That lot are nothing but a bunch of bootlickers and stuffy bookworms,” she sniffed, tone full of mocking condescension.

I bristled, offended on the Guild’s behalf, even though, secretly, I’d thought much the same about them myself.

“How dare you, Mother! The Guild is a prestigious institution!”

Mother rolled her eyelights. “Prestigious my arse.”

I gasped, utterly appalled at her foul language. “Watch your tongue, Mother!”

She shot me an incredulous look. “I haven’t got one, you daft child.”

At this point, I was about ready to hurl Mother’s skull out the window, and pray that it sank to the very bottom of the swamp, but I managed to restrain myself. Just.

Then, Mother’s eye sockets narrowed.

“Say, is that miserable old wanker still in charge?” she enquired, the slightest hint of bitterness in her voice.

My jaw dropped, as I gave her a scandalised look.

“Mother! You can’t talk about the Guildmaster that way!”

But she only scowled – an especially unnerving expression given that she was nothing but a skull.

“Bah! They’re nothing special,” she sneered, derision clear in her expression and her tone. “None of that lot are, in the Guild. In any Guild. I’ve been to many, all around the world, but they’re all the same, each one full of nothing but useless cretins. I was glad to be rid of them, when I left.”

Her shameless and irreverent behaviour was more than I could bear, especially not with a baby on the way, as well as with my sweet and soft-hearted husband having to play witness to it all. Abandoning my self-restraint and all pretence of decorum, I buried my head in my hands, letting out the biggest, long-suffering groan I could.

Skull nudged me, ever so gently, making soft, worried sounds, and I uncovered my head, to stroke his snout comfortingly, wanting to ease his concerns. His big, red eyelight gazed at me consideringly, assessing if I was truly all right, and I gave him my best reassuring smile, which seemed to satisfy him.

Meanwhile, my mother was giving me her own, scrutinising look. Her eye sockets narrowed in concentration, as her eyelights scanned me, something sharp and calculating in her gaze.

“I see you’ve managed to find a use for my old paperweight,” she remarked blandly.

I ran a hand over my face, massaging my temple in aggravation.

“Mother, the Philosopher’s Stone is a valuable artefact of unparalleled importance! It should not be used as a mere paperweight!”

But as usual, my protests fell on deaf ears. Mother was as impertinent as always.

“Well it’s not like that lousy rock was good for much else. Besides, it’s really bloody heavy! I could hardly lift the damn thing!”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, mentally counting to ten, as I took deep, calming breaths. From within my womb, my child gave a hard kick, successfully dragging my attention away from my infuriating mother, and towards my darling baby. I rubbed my belly, trying to soothe my child back to sleep, and felt them settle down once more.

Skull nudged me again, more insistently, concern shining in his face and emanating from his magic.

“are you... okay...? is baby... okay...? can i... help...?” he asked me softly.

My husband’s earnest concern and care for me never failed to warm my heart. I smiled back at him, running my hands along his muzzle in gentle caresses.

“I’m fine, thank you, Skull,” I assured him.

He leaned into my touch, as desperate for affection as ever, and I couldn’t help but indulge his adorable, needy side, with more pets and a kiss to the end of his snout.

Sadly, the tender moment was ruined, and my attention was ripped away from my sweet, loving mate, and pulled back to my irritating mother, when she spoke up once again.

“Oh, so that’s his name, is it? Skull? A little uninspired, but I suppose it’ll do.”

I was close to tearing my hair out in frustration and exasperation.

“Mother! Please! Skull is both my husband and a Forest God. Try to show him at least some respect!” I practically pleaded with her, for all the good I knew it’d do.

Mother raised a browbone at me, completely unaffected by either my words or my tone.

“The living show the dead respect, not the other way around, you silly child. Besides, Skull is my son-in-law, and I’ll not treat him any differently than I would any other family member.”

Skull’s eyelight lit up like a beacon, even as the edges got fuzzy. He appeared to be on the verge of tears, as he gave Mother the most heartfelt look of wonder and gratitude.

“mate’s mother... accepts... me...?” he mumbled, voice low, and thick with emotion. “i’m... so... happy... thank... you...”

I was a little stunned at how Skull had managed to only see the positive in what my mother had said, but more than anything, I was relieved. So long as my beloved was happy, I could overlook the rest.

Even Mother seemed a little taken aback. She blinked, her eye sockets slightly wide, before she collected herself.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she told him, voice uncharacteristically sincere. “I can tell that you make my daughter happy, and that’s all I could ask for.”

The hard edges of her skull seemed to soften, and she smiled at me, one of her very rare, genuine smiles.

“I’m glad that you have someone who loves you, especially during this difficult time. I’m glad that you aren’t alone, like I was.”

That left me truly speechless. I honestly had no idea how to respond to such heartfelt words, coming from my mother of all people.

“I- I-, um...uh... Thank you, Mother...” I eventually forced out, fiddling with my fingers, and shyly averting my eyes, unable to meet my mother’s gaze.

It was sobering, being reminded of how much hardship my mother had had to endure. As far as I could tell, she’d always been alone. When I was a child, I’d never once seen her be close with anyone, and there was never any sign of her having any friends or lovers, let alone a spouse. The only companionship she had, was myself and her familiars, a black cat, a sparrowhawk, and a viper.

As a child, I’d occasionally wondered about my father. But my mother’s stony expression, whenever he was mentioned, had stayed my tongue. It wasn’t worth dredging up unpleasant memories, just to sate my meagre curiosity. My father wasn’t around, and that was all that mattered, in the end.

But now that I was about to become a mother myself, I realised how fortunate I truly was. I was grateful that I would have Skull’s love and support to rely on. I was thankful that our child would have both parents to nurture, care for, and protect them. Words could not express how much I appreciated how blessed I was, to love and be loved in return.

As if to confirm my thoughts, Skull nuzzled me, purrs reverberating from deep within his massive chest.

“not alone... never alone... you have me... always...” he promised me, tone overflowing with adoration and devotion. “i love you... i love you so... so much... i will be... with you... forever... i will... never leave... you... my precious mate... never...”

Familiar warmth flooded my chest, my heart constricting with a love of unfathomable depth. I hugged my husband’s huge head as close to me as I could, and pressed several lingering kisses to his snout.

“I love you too, Skull,” I whispered against his face. “And I’ll never leave you either. We’ll always be together.”

The Wetland God let out a deep, guttural, grating sound.

“yes... together... forever...” he agreed, the pupil of his single eyelight transforming into a little heart, as he smiled lovingly at me.

Watching our affectionate display, Mother’s lipless mouth curled into a sly grin.

“Oh, so it’s that kind of relationship.”

Drawing back slightly from my husband, I frowned harshly at my mother.

“Whatever you’re thinking right now, Mother, stop it! This instant!” I bit out, through gritted teeth.

Mother chuckled, a teasing glint in her eyelights.

“Now, now, child, don’t fret, I won’t judge."

“Mother!!”

~~~

The sun was low in the sky, only just starting to dip below the horizon, dying everything a soft pinkish-orange hue. As our surroundings darkened, fireflies began making their appearance, their soft glow blending in with the will-o'-the-wisps shyly peeking out from behind the trees – an increasingly common sight, now that Skull was no longer the same violent, lonely Bog God he was before I arrived. The air was filled with the buzzing of insects, the distant croaking of frogs, and the gentle sloshing of water, as some aquatic creature broke though the surface.

It reminded me of when I first arrived in the swamp, hoping to make my home there.

The peaceful atmosphere filled me with the sweetest nostalgia, and I reclined back in Skull’s arms, sinking further into my husband’s embrace behind me. In response, the transformed deity’s arms tightened around me, his hands continuing to stroke my swollen belly, as he began purring once more. His magic practically sang, as it caressed me on all sides, echoing all of my mate’s love and happiness. Our baby also seemed to be relaxing, only giving the occasional kick to remind us of their presence.

Artemis was curled up on my lap, fast asleep, whereas Hermes was perched above us, on a nearby branch, keeping his usual vigil, regardless of how safe we were, in the very heart of Skull’s territory. Mother’s skull had been brought outside, and placed on the edge of the lip of wood at the entrance to my tree-cottage, where we were all resting. For once, Mother was blissfully silent, as she admired the beautiful scenery, and enjoyed the quiet tranquillity of the misty swamp at dusk.

My hands came up to settle atop Skull’s on my abdomen, lacing our fingers together. Skull gave my hands the very gentlest of squeezes, ever mindful of his great strength, and nuzzled his face into my hair. I could feel him take several deep breaths, likely inhaling my scent, and his purring got a little louder and deeper.

I wasn’t sure what the future would bring, or what challenges life would throw at us, but for this one moment in time, all was well. I was surrounded by my family – surrounded by all that I loved in this world. And I would hold this moment in my heart forever, and cherish it for the rest of my life.

...

~~~~~

...

Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes, and the cutest little button nose. My daughter was perfect.

I was exhausted. I was in pain. But I had never been happier.

After nine months of carrying her in my womb, and many hours spent bringing her into the world, I finally held my daughter in my arms.

I was utterly entranced, as I gazed down at her with all the love in my heart and soul, feeling indescribable warmth flood through my entire body. She was so perfect.

My daughter was, for all intents and purposes, a human – a witch, like me. But her Forest God blood would likely affect her magical core in unpredictable ways. She would almost certainly have powerful, if highly unstable magic, just like her father. It would be up to me to teach her the discipline and control necessary to harness that wild, chaotic magic.

She would definitely have a very difficult path ahead of her, if she wished to master her magic, as I, and my mother, had. But if becoming a great witch was something that she wanted, then she would always have my support, and I would do all in my power to help her, in any way I could. And even if she had no interest in developing her abilities to their full potential, she would still, always have my love and support.

As well as her father’s.

Skull was hovering by my bedside, very clearly wanting to come closer, but seemingly too afraid to do so. His magic was a turbulent tornado of emotions; fear, excitement, hope, joy, love, all warring together in his soul, as he gazed down at our baby. I knew he was too overwhelmed by his emotions, to be able to hold our daughter, and would need some time to calm himself down, so I just cradled our child close and made sure that Skull had a clear view of her.

The Wetland God was almost entirely covered in tiny, vibrantly colourful flowers. While his brilliantly glittering red eyelight was fully focused on the newborn baby in my arms, his other eye socket was bursting with little marsh flowers. Furthermore, there was a veritable bouquet sprouting out of the gaping hole in his skull, and, all in all, my mate was practically a living flower sculpture. He was adorable.

I looked back down at my daughter. They both were.

I was so lucky, so blessed, to have such a wonderful family.

My life hadn’t been easy, and the road to getting to this point had been long and winding, and fraught with many obstacles. But I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Every choice I’d made may not have been the best one, but they all, eventually, led me to here, to this moment, and I was glad for it. This moment was easily the happiest of my entire life, and was more than worth every single hardship I’d ever suffered. I had no regrets whatsoever, not anymore.

Choosing to become a swamp witch really had been the best decision of my entire life.

_______________________________________________

There's only the epilogue left, but it's mostly a just a fun little bonus chapter for those who've read and enjoyed "Good Girl Needs Kiss", so this fic is basically finished now.

I really wish my head were a little less fuzzy and achy, so that I could actually think clearly and give this fic the send-off I feel it deserves, but this cold has been dragging on for a bit, and I've been writing this for too long and am way too impatient to finally get it out. I've had a lot of fun writing this, but I'm happy to put it mostly behind me, and finally move onto something else. I'm not sure when the epilogue will be out, maybe soon if I'm really impatient, or maybe not if I want a break.

By either way, I'm taking it easy for a bit. Once the epilogue's done, though, I'm definitely going to be focusing on more Frans stuff, because I really miss writing it.

I needed to be absolutely sure that I was happy with my final choice, because I wanted this home to be my permanent one. I was tired of having to constantly move, each time I’d get overwhelmed by suitors and harassed by enamoured clients.

This was all Mother’s fault.

I shook off my familiar annoyance, returning my attention to the dense forest canopy beneath me, as I soared over the trees on my broom. Making sure to stay above the treeline, and out of range of the local Forest God’s magic, I peered closely at the landscape whizzing past me down below.

Acres upon acres of tall, leafy, centuries-old trees met my eye, the very vision of a healthy forest. While I couldn’t see below the thick foliage, I could nevertheless hear the wildlife – insects and mammals scurrying, scuttling, and running around, the birds singing and calling to each other, some occasionally flying past me as they travelled from tree to tree.

All signs pointed to this forest being healthy and full of life, clearly well-maintained by its guardian deity. And most importantly for me, well-protected. Exactly what I was looking for. I felt confident that no trespasser with ill intent would be able to reach me, should I decide to settle here. Forest Gods were incredibly protective of their territories, and those inhabiting them, after all. I would finally get some peace.

The forest adjacent to this one was much the same, save for the trees at the very heart being petrified, the air saturated with some of the oldest magic I’d ever come across. An interesting place, for sure, and one well worth studying, should I decide to live there. And should its protector deity grant me safe passage. Most Forest Gods were unwilling to allow mortals to wander too close to their nests, but maybe I’d be able to bargain with this one? It was something to consider, at least.

The final “forest” was far different from the other two. I held a handkerchief over my nose as I flew above miles and miles of dark mud and peat, the horrid stench of death and rot permeating the entire area and practically assaulting my nostrils. It was certainly an unpleasant place, to say the least. I shuddered to imagine just how full of hatred and pain the resident God must be, for his territory to have ended up in such an abysmal state. There had to be a tragic story behind all this, and the dead husks of charred trees, barely visible through the ever-present thick fog, gave me an idea as to what it might be.

Against my will, I felt a pang of sympathy for the poor deity and his ruined home, before forcefully banishing such feelings. I had a mission to see through, and I couldn’t let myself get distracted by useless sentimentality. Life was harsh and cruel, for everyone, and mercy was for the foolish. I couldn’t afford to care about anyone but myself.

I was almost tempted to abandon my observation of the wetland, and give it up as a lost cause, when the land began to change. Dead bog eventually gave way to wet marsh, with cleaner water and richer soil, allowing for life to finally grow. A smile crept onto my face, as I saw plants covering the ground, and animals moving about the undergrowth. A flock of birds even joined me in the air after a while and called out to me, so I followed them deeper into the wetlands.

Finally, I reached the centre of the Wetland God’s domain – a swamp. The water was obviously very deep, but also clean, and full of aquatic life. Including alligators, I noted with interest. There were many fascinating potions I could brew with alligator teeth. Not to mention all of the incredibly rare and valuable swamp plants and herbs which grew in abundance here. My eyes practically sparkled, as I gazed around the misty swamp, my interest renewed.

There were also a great many trees, as expected of a Forest God’s domain – truly massive trees, their trunks thick and their branches wide, housing innumerable birds, mammals, reptiles, and insects. Something like hope sparked in my chest, but I was probably just imagining it. Still, it was very encouraging to see that the heart of this wetland was overflowing with life and magic, in spite of the desolate wasteland which surrounded it. A Forest God’s home should always be full of life.

As I was hovering beside the largest tree in the swamp, my eyes happened to spot a big, circular, red light shining in the mist. It almost resembled a giant eye, looking directly at me and seeming to stare straight into my soul. As if noticing my gaze, the eerie eye widened, its red light becoming brighter, and I felt the magic in the air shift. I took that as my cue to leave. I’d seen enough, anyway. No point lingering here and risk incurring the wrath of the Wetland God.

 But as I flew away, a loud, mournful cry rang out behind me, echoing through the air and shaking the leaves on the trees below. Startled, I urged my broom to fly faster, and the cry eventually faded away into the distance. However, the haunting sound still lingered in my mind, along with that glowing, red eyelight.

Was that the Wetland God?

~~~

The following day, I arrived at the nearby town. It was fairly average in both size and appearance, but was nonetheless bustling with activity, and travellers and residents alike were milling around, going about their busy lives. I drew my cloak tighter around myself, and quickly made my way to the nearest inn.

Upon reaching my destination, I was greeted by a young woman, probably the innkeeper’s daughter, judging by the family photo hanging on the wall behind her. Her face lit up when I removed my travelling cloak, revealing myself to her, and she gave me a wide, vapid smile she probably thought was charming, and asked me if I was looking to rent a room. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at her stupid question, because why else would I be here, I gave her a beguiling smile and seductively leaned in closer to her as I answered her.

“Why yes, I am. Would a sweet thing like you happen to have a room for a weary traveller such as myself? I’ve walked such a long way to get here, and I could really use a rest in a nice, comfy bed. I’d be so grateful to you if you could spare me a room, beautiful,” I’d lowered my voice to a smooth, silky drawl, and my honeyed words clearly had the effect I’d intended, given the way her eyes were glued to my lips, and how her breathing quickened.

She swallowed, a pink blush spreading across her cheeks, and smiled shyly at me. She then practically fell over herself to offer me one of the nicest rooms they had, at a generous discount. I held back a derisive snort. It was pathetic, really, how easily swayed she was by my supernaturally good looks and enchanting voice. This was nothing new, of course, but it still sickened me each time it happened. It was then just a simple matter of making tedious small talk with her for bit, before I finally steered the conversation towards the topic I’d been most interested in: the three magical forests.

For such an insipid creature, she was at the very least decently knowledgeable about the surrounding forests, and gave me all the information she had on them and their Gods. Much of it I’d already seen for myself, but it was useful to have confirmation from someone who’d actually lived in the area her whole life. She also confirmed my suspicions about the Wetland.

I didn’t have to feign genuine interest, as I listened to her tale of the God of the Black Wetland. Apparently, centuries ago, the Wetland used to be a beautiful forest, whose deity was relatively peaceful. But a group of humans from the nearby village wanted to clear it and weren’t happy with how he drove loggers away, so they took it upon themselves to burn the whole forest to the ground in one go. And they succeeded. In his rage, the Forest God killed the humans and flooded the entire area, including the village, transforming the landscape into an ugly, black bog.

From then on, he was known as the God of the Black Wetland, and had become a terrifying force of nature, who dragged anyone foolish enough to wander off the path, and into his domain, to a horrible, muddy and watery grave. The girl’s expression turned serious, as she warned me to avoid the Black Bog, and that if I absolutely had to go through there, that I should stick to the path at all costs. And should the fog begin to thicken, and I heard a bell ringing, then I needed to stay low, hold my breath, and pray that he didn’t see me.

I tried to look suitably fearful as I thanked her for her advice, while internally, I thought that anyone who was stupid enough to trespass on the territory of a Forest God whose home had been destroyed, deserved their fate. There was not a witch alive who would dare enter a God’s domain, without first being granted permission to do so. It was only common courtesy, after all. To disrespect a Forest God, was to invite calamity upon oneself, as my mother had once told me.

When I had gleaned all that I could from the girl, I thanked her with practised politeness, ignoring her flirting with the ease of habit, and made my way to my room. Upon reaching it, I went inside, locked the door behind me, and gave the place a casual glance. It was decently spacious, with a neatly-made bed, a desk, and a few shelves lining the walls. There was a window on one wall, which I went to open, casting a quick spell on the sill, to ensure that no one but myself and my familiars could enter through it.

That done, I tossed my bag on the desk, and collapsed onto the bed with a tired sigh. The bag landed with an inordinately loud * thump *, and the flap fell open, spilling several of my magical tools and arcane instruments across the desk, including a human skull. The skull rolled across the wooden surface, until it came to a stop by the edge, its dark, empty eye sockets staring right at me.

I glared at the skull. “This is all your fault, Mother.”

The skull didn’t answer me, of course. Not that I expected it to. I still had yet to perform the ancient ritual to bind Mother’s spirit to her skull, so that she could communicate with me from the afterlife. I just wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. I wasn’t sure I ever would be. I had a very... complicated relationship with her, after all.

My mother had been an incredibly powerful witch, supposedly the greatest mage of her generation. Her outstanding talents had won her the respect and admiration of her peers, few in number though they were, but had earned her the fear and hatred of the general populace. Not surprising, though, considering ordinary humans feared magic. Enough to have sealed away all of monsterkind underground, long ago. If mages, such as my mother, were not so useful to the common folk, perhaps we would’ve met the same fate as well. Perhaps one day we still might.

It was that very fear which had led my mother to cast numerous powerful enchantments on me, while I was still in her womb. All with the singular goal of making me as beautiful and desirable as possible. Mother had believed that if I were especially attractive, I would win the hearts of the non-magicals, and they would never turn on me or shun me as they had her.

And she’d succeeded. I was, by all accounts, visually stunning, with looks that turned heads wherever I went. Men and women from all around flocked to see me, showering me with gifts and compliments, in the hopes of earning my favour. There was not a single person who had anything but the most effervescent praise for my beauty.

And I hated it.

Because while I had indeed managed to catch the eye of every person I met, I despised such meaningless attention with a burning passion. Humans were nothing but shallow, despicable beings, and I very quickly grew to loathe their cloying desires and worthless, empty affections. None of these mindless fools truly cared about me, not a one bothered to see past my outward appearance, and look for the real me, inside.

And yet still they hounded me, harassed me, haunted me, begging for my attention like baying dogs. They kept insisting on throwing themselves at me, no matter how many times I threw them back out. It was tiresome. Tedious. I’d finally had enough of it, and decided to find a new home, in the territory of a protective Forest God, like many witches tended to do. Hopefully that would be enough to keep all of the nuisances away.

Perhaps I could’ve chosen to conceal my features, or disguised myself, maybe even tried to alter my appearance to something more ordinary. But I refused to hide or change myself. Why should I? I may not have chosen this body or this face, but they were nonetheless mine , and I would not hide them away just because of how other people reacted to them.

Besides, my mother had gone to a great deal of effort to give me these looks. And while I despised them, and resented her for what she’d done to me... I understood, at least on an intellectual level, why she’d done so. It would be unforgivably ungrateful of me to throw away all of her hard work. I was many things, but I wasn’t ungrateful. Not to my mother, the woman who’d given birth to me, raised me by herself, and taught me all she knew.

Therefore, instead of hiding my beauty, I chose to make use of it instead. If I were forced to suffer the consequences of my appearance, then I was determined to reap the benefits of it as well. And there certainly were many of those. People were such shallow, superficial creatures, after all. So easy to manipulate. It was child’s play, really.

But I wasn’t content to simply take advantage of my mother’s achievement. No, I had far grander ambitions than that.

Instead, I resolved to cultivate my own magical talents, and become a witch even greater than Mother, so that my powers and abilities would be my most notable trait, and all that anyone would talk about, rather than my physical appearance. I’d devoted myself to mastering witchcraft, and was proud to say that I was quite the accomplished mage and alchemist. I don’t know if I ever managed to surpass my mother, though. She died some years ago, all alone in her quiet little cottage in the woods.

I went back to my childhood home to give her a proper funeral, burying her in our ancestors’ sacred burial grounds, and taking her skull with me, as was tradition. I gathered all of her belongings, keeping those I found useful, disposing of or selling those I did not. A pitiful end for someone so infamous and talented.

Quietly, I rose from the bed and went over to the desk. With gentle hands, I picked up my mother’s skull and placed it on top of a nearby shelf, where those empty sockets could stare out at the entire room. My fingers lingered on the skull, tracing the edges of its mouth. Mother rarely ever smiled. I wondered if she’d ever known happiness, even once in her entire life...

I shook my head, dismissing such pointless thoughts. It was my own happiness I should focus on now. Which meant finding a suitable home. And to do that, I would need to find out more about all three forests. I looked towards the window. The sun was high in the sky; there was plenty of time to ask around and get the opinions of the locals who knew the forests the best. With that plan in mind, I left the room, locking the door behind me, and placing another spell on it to ward off intruders.

~~~

For the next several hours, I walked through the town, questioning people here and there, and listening in on the local gossip. It was mostly about some unwary travellers getting lost in the Black Bog a couple of weeks ago. They’d still not found the bodies, and no one was willing to go further into the bog to look for them, for fear of encountering the God of the Wetlands. Cowards, the lot of them. But I supposed that I couldn’t really blame them. I wouldn’t risk my life either, to go looking for fools too stupid to live.

As I passed by the local tavern, I heard raucous laughter coming from inside. But that wasn’t what caught my attention. I lifted an eyebrow as I sensed ancient, wild magic coming from within the tavern, the kind of magic that definitely didn’t belong in the middle of a human settlement. The kind of magic I’d sensed just the other day. Curious, I opened the door and peeked inside.

The tavern was surprisingly busy for this time of day, and there was a large crowd by the bar, louder and rowdier than they had any right to be before sundown. I hovered by the door, hesitant to go in any further with so many noisy people inside. I hated crowds- well, I hated people , really, but crowds were a special kind of dreadful I tried my best to avoid. I pulled the cowl of my cloak lower on my head, as I discreetly looked around for the source of the forest magic.

My eyes soon met a pair of bright, red ones. I blinked, taken aback. The red eyes were set in a handsome, seemingly human face, but I wasn’t fooled by the illusion. Any witch worth her salt would be able to sense the aura of a Forest God from a mile away, and I’d already flown over the forest belonging to this one just yesterday. I recognised him for what he was instantly.

The disguised deity looked equally surprised to see me. His red eyes widened, with what I could almost assume was recognition, before they roved across my form, something disturbingly familiar flashing in them, as they traced along my face. I couldn’t hold back my sneer, revulsion bubbling up within me like molten magma. He was... interested in me! Not in exactly the same way humans were, perhaps, but close enough to make me want to hex him.

It was with no small amount of distaste that I noticed how he was the centre of attention, with all eyes turned towards him, and everyone smiling and laughing at his crude jokes, all of the patrons hanging onto his every word. Several pretty ladies were even pressed up against him, giggling like they hadn’t a thought in their heads but to share his bed, and the arms curled around them only seemed to encourage their pathetic simpering.

Bitter disappointment welled up within me. I had thought that Forest Gods were above such abhorrent behaviour. It seemed I was wrong. They were just as susceptible to human weaknesses and mortal failings, as any other miserable worm on this planet.

The disgrace of a Forest God shot me a roguish wink, which I returned with the most hateful glare I was capable of, endeavouring to put every ounce of disgust I felt for him into the look, and causing his grin to falter. Without hesitation, I turned my back to him and strode out of the tavern. I heard a deep, masculine voice call out to me, but I slammed the door on it, shutting out that nonsense forever.

~~~

When I returned to my room, I immediately took out the sheet of paper containing the information I’d gathered on the three forests, and furiously crossed out everything pertaining to the forest governed by the shameful wretch I’d seen in the tavern. I would never live in his domain, I vowed to myself.

Luckily, I still had two other forests to choose from. I desperately prayed that their Gods were more respectable than this one. But I would need to know more about them to ascertain that. Hopefully, my familiars had been able to properly explore both of the forests, and would be able to help me figure out which one would be the best choice for my new home.

As if on cue, a brown owl glided soundlessly through the open window, and landed on top of Mother’s skull, followed shortly by a black cat, padding her way through the shadows towards me, before stretching out her lithe body across my bed.

“Artemis,” the cat blinked her eyes slowly at me in greeting, “Hermes,” the owl bowed his head respectfully to me, “I’ve ruled out the forest of the Red God as a possibility. Forget about that one. So, what have you two found out about the other two?”

Artemis tossed her head back and yowled at me. All that time... wasted! Should’ve let me know... sooner... her voice echoed through my head.

I rolled my eyes, well used to her whining. Missy was such a diva. If I didn’t love her so much, I would’ve dispelled the enchantment allowing us to communicate telepathically, long ago.

Hermes, on the other hand, merely bowed his head to me once more, acknowledging my orders, before launching into his report. The Green Forest is full of life. Trees. Mushrooms. Moss. Prey. Not prey. Predators. Fae. Spirits. Magic. Lots of magic.

Artemis flicked her tail. Lots of... interesting smells... plenty of food... so many good places... to nap...

I snorted, shaking my head lightly. Of course Missy would only focus on the things she would enjoy. At least Hermes was more helpful.

“And what of its resident Forest God?” I asked them.

Hermes’s reply came swiftly. Always moving. Always roaming. Always protecting. Only still at the heart. Stone trees. Old magic. Soft moss. Cold. Quiet. Clear.

Hmm... So he too enjoyed his peace and quiet? Looks like we might actually be able to get along. I felt the spark of hope ignite in my chest at the thought.

Artemis stretched out her front paws, kneading the bed covers beneath her. He put colourful bottles... in the trees... they cast pretty shadows... for me to chase...

I hummed to myself, going over what they’d told me in my head and adding it to the information I’d already collected. So far, this forest seemed promising. But I couldn’t be too hasty with my decision. Besides, there was also the other one to consider.

I turned to my two familiars. “And what about the Black Wetlands?”

Surprisingly, Artemis was the first to answer me, as she let out an angry hiss, her tail flicking to and fro in agitation. Smells bad... So wet! *Hiss* The mud gets stuck... in my fur... on my paws... hate it...

I gave her a sympathetic look, going over to her to run my fingers through her silky, pitch-black fur in a comforting caress. She pressed her head into my hand and began purring.

Hermes clicked his beak in annoyance, but made no further protest. Instead, he drew himself up imperiously, and puffed out his chest feathers. On the edge there’s only Black bog. Burnt trees. Foul water. Dead. All dead. But closer to the heart there’s more life. More green. Less black. The heart is swamp. Tall trees. Deep water. Many animals. Lots of life. Lots of magic.

I nodded to myself. I’d observed much the same myself.

Artemis sneezed. Didn’t see... couldn’t get past... the nasty mud.. .

I smiled at her in reassurance. “That’s all right, Missy, I know you tried your best. I’m very proud of you.”

When Hermes clicked his beak again, I turned my smile towards him. “And thank you for your diligence, Hermes! I’m so glad I can always count on you.”

The tan owl puffed out his feathers again, preening at my praise. Always, Mistress .

Artemis gave him an unimpressed look, her ears twitching. Thankfully, she turned away from him without comment. I let out a quiet sigh of relief, glad that an argument hadn’t broken out between them. Again.

Wanting to get the conversation back on track, I cleared my throat. “So then, what’s the Forest- uh, the Wetland God like?”

Hermes tilted his head to the side. Angry.

He then tilted his head to the other side. Very angry .

I frowned. “I don’t blame him. His entire forest was burnt to the ground by humans centuries ago, after all. He pretty much lost everything. I’d be absolutely livid myself, if I were him.”

Artemis curled up once more on the bed, tucking her paws underneath her and wrapping her tail around herself. He’s not just angry... and vengeful... and full of hate... Birds came to me... and told me... he’s lonely... very lonely...

Her words made me recall the loud, mournful wail I’d heard that morning. That probably was him, then, calling out to me. I’d initially thought it was a warning, to chase away intruders, but now I suspected it might’ve been the opposite. Was the Wetland God actually... upset that I’d left? Was he, maybe, calling out for me, asking me to come back? It seemed ludicrous, honestly. He was an ancient and powerful Forest God, whose mind and heart were unknowable to mortals, whereas I was a mere human, albeit a magical one. And yet, now that I really thought about it, I realised that he’d actually sounded sad... really sad...

My thoughts were interrupted by Hermes’s voice ringing in my head. Which forest will you choose, Mistress?

“Hmm... Good question.” My brows furrowed as I paced back and forth across the small, rented room, my head bowed in deep thought as I mulled over both my options.

The Green Forest was the obvious choice. A lush, vibrant forest, teeming with life, and guarded by a fairly peaceful deity, who mostly kept to himself. The ideal home for a solitary witch seeking to hone her craft. Definitely more appealing than a misty swamp, surrounded by sickly, smelly bog, and patrolled by an unstable, vengeful Old God.

My decision should’ve been clear. And yet...

…  he’s lonely... very lonely...

Missy’s words wouldn’t leave my mind, despite my best efforts to chase them away. What should it matter to me if some Wetland God was lonely? His problems were not mine, his pain was not mine, his loneliness was not mine.

…  he’s lonely... very lonely...

Without conscious thought, my eyes found the hollow sockets of my mother’s skull. She’d been lonely as well, for most of her life. And she’d died lonely, too. Had she ever cried out for someone, anyone, to help her, only for nobody to come? Had she ever cried out for me?... Had the Wetland God?

…  he’s lonely... very lonely...

I went to my satchel, still splayed open across the desk, and took out a small, glass orb. It wasn’t anything special, had no magical properties whatsoever, and was nothing more than a cheap, simple ball made out of coloured glass, pretty, but ultimately useless. Something I was determined to never be. The only reason I even had this orb, was because it had once belonged to my mother.

She’d had many such trinkets, scattered throughout her house, but this one was her favourite. As a child, I’d often caught her gazing into the orb, lost in thought. I’d asked her why she did so, despite the orb having no practical use, and she’d told me that looking at it helped her to focus, as she pondered whatever problem occupied her mind at the time. I’d once jokingly called it her “Orb of Pondering”, and she’d given me one of her rare smiles. I guess it wasn’t so useless after all.

I now gazed into the orb myself, as I pondered my own current predicament. Which shouldn’t have even been a predicament in the first place. The choice should’ve been an easy one to make. The answer should’ve been plain for all to see. I should’ve just picked the Green Forest and been done with this deliberation. I would have an easier, simpler life there. My familiars would be happier there. It was beautiful. Untainted. Perfect.

…  he’s lonely... very lonely...

With a resigned sigh, I lowered Mother’s orb and turned towards my familiars, still patiently awaiting my final decision. Plastering my brightest smile on my face, I forced as much enthusiasm into my voice as I could, as I told them, “You know, I think becoming a swamp witch sounds like a lot of fun!”

Predictably, Artemis was none too happy with my answer, and yowled out her displeasure for all the world to hear. Hermes, however, merely bowed his head obediently, accepting my decision without complaint.

As I tried my best to appease my feline familiar with chin scratches, I silently wondered if I had made the right choice. I hoped that I would not come to regret it.

~~~

The next morning, I woke up bright and early to carry out my preparations for obtaining the Wetland God’s permission to reside in his domain. For starters, I wrote up a letter explaining my request, making sure to keep my tone and words as respectful and humble as possible, and providing many reassurances of good behaviour, all while avoiding making any outright promises. You could never be too careful with Old Gods. I then imbued the letter with my magic and my intent, so that the ancient deity would be able to sense my sincerity for himself, as well as get a feel for my character before we officially met.

Once I was satisfied that the letter was properly saturated in my magic, I handed it to Hermes, informing him of its contents, just in case the Wetland God was unable or unwilling to read it, and instructed the owl to deliver it directly to its intended recipient as swiftly as possible, and to return only once he’d received a definitive answer. Hermes dutifully bowed his head, took the letter very delicately in his beak, and flew off into the sky.

Afterwards, it was only too easy to charm the inn’s cook into letting me borrow his kitchen for a few hours. He’d tried to remain close to me, invading my personal space under the guise of “helping” me, but a threatening hiss and swipe of her paw from Artemis were enough to get the filth away from me. The black cat remained curled around my shoulders, fixing her large, golden eyes on the nuisance and occasionally flexing her sharp claws at him, to keep him a safe distance away from me as I worked.

I wasn’t sure what offerings the Wetland God would enjoy, but most Forest Gods were not averse to homecooked food, and most Fae had quite the sweet tooth, with a particular fondness for honey, so I decided to bake him a large honey cake, with buttercream icing and a honey drizzle. It was something my mother had often baked for the Forest God whose territory she resided in, and she’d taught me the recipe as a child. It was one of my happier memories with her.

The rich, sugary smell which soon filled the kitchen brought on a wave of nostalgia. Instead of quashing the feelings, as I normally did, I allowed myself to reminisce for a while. My childhood home was always filled with the most interesting aromas, whether it was food, potions, or magical residue from the spells Mother cast. She really was quite the talented witch. I’d learned so much from her.

When the cake was done, I wrapped it up neatly, placing an enchantment on it to keep it warm and fresh, and carefully packed it away in my carry bag. That done, I changed into formal sorcerer’s robes, and spent some time preening in front of the mirror, to ensure that I looked as presentable as possible. I wanted to make a good first impression, after all, and while it was unlikely that my human appearance would be able to sway a Forest God’s opinion, it didn’t hurt to look my best. Besides, old habits died hard.

Finally, all that was left to do was to pack up all of my belongings. Hermes returned as I was putting away Mother’s skull, and informed me that the Wetland God had accepted my request. Instantly. Gladly. Very gladly. In fact, he seemed positively giddy about me coming to live in his domain. Well, that was... a surprise. But a welcome one, to be sure. Better than the alternative, anyway. I guess he really must’ve been very lonely, for him to be so excited for some company. It gave me hope that the two of us might be able to have an amicable relationship.

My lips subconsciously tugged up into a smile, as I pet Hermes’s tan feathers, my mind on the Wetland God. I’d never had a friend before. My familiars didn’t count, they were bonded to me and my magic for the rest of our shared lives – they were practically an extension of myself. I looked forward to getting to know my new ‘landlord’. Quietly, privately, in the depths of my heart, I hoped that he would grow to like me. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who was lonely...

When everything was packed up and put away, Artemis draped herself around my shoulders once more, her tail curling lightly around my neck, like a black, fluffy necklace. Hermes perched himself on the crooked tip of my tall, pointed, witch’s hat, his head constantly swivelling around to survey his surroundings, ever watchful, ever alert. I gave the room a once-over, checking that I’d gathered everything, and made my exit.

I didn’t check out of the inn just yet, however. I needed a safe place to return to, on the off chance that things turned sour with the Wetland God. You could never be too careful, after all, and it always paid to have contingency plans for every possibility. Better to be safe than sorry.

Once I’d found a clear spot, I took out my broom, sat myself on it, and kicked off the ground, shooting through the sky like a comet. With the wind rushing past me, and my robes billowing behind me, I left the town and made my way towards my new home and the beginning of my new life.

~~~

I landed on the very edge of the bog. Getting off my broom, I kept it firmly in one hand, ready to get back on it and fly away at the first hint of danger. I took a deep breath and instantly regretted it, as a rotten stench assailed my nose. Coughing and spluttering, I retrieved my handkerchief and covered my nose as best as I could, trying to breathe through my mouth. Around my neck, Artemis grumbled irritably, her furry lips pulled back in a grimace at the foul smell in the air.

Not wanting to spend any longer here than necessary, I stepped foot inside the bog.

The place was even creepier from the ground than it was from the sky. Dark, viscous mud covered the ground, save for the patches of slimy, black water dotted here and there, with only the gnarled, dead trees managing to rise up from the sludge. Mosquitos seemed to be the only creatures living in the bog, their constant buzzing the only sound I could hear, apart from the squelching of my boots as I trudged through the mud. It was also difficult to see anything past the thick fog blanketing the entire area.

The whole place was like something straight out of a nightmare. It was a rather daunting experience, honestly. But I knew that it got better. I just needed to press on and stay determined.

And so, I kept walking, keeping to the well-trodden path and the narrow wooden walkways, all while keeping my eyes and ears open for any sign of the Wetland God. Occasionally, I flared out my magic, just to let any extramundane entities who might be nearby know that I was here. After a short while of doing so, I felt an answering burst of ancient, otherworldly magic, far, far in the distance, coming from the centre of the wetlands. I paused. Then it came again, slightly closer.

The God of the Black Wetland knew I was here. And he was coming towards me. Hopefully to give me a friendly greeting, and not to chase me away. Or worse.

I stayed still, drawing my cloak tighter around myself to ward off the chill in the air, and cast my eyes around warily, as I waited for the deity to arrive with bated breath. I didn’t have to wait long.

Soon, the fog began to thicken, until I could barely see past my own nose, and distantly, faintly, I could hear the gentle chiming of bells, steadily getting louder. I stood up straighter, my heart racing in anticipation, and gripped my broom tighter. Both of my familiars were equally on high alert, ready to react at a moment’s notice.

Suddenly, the shadows began to shift, something moving through the fog, something truly massive. I held my breath, my heart pounding in my ears, as the figure finally came into view, the fog parting around him.

It was, without doubt, a Forest God, although one unlike any I’d ever seen before. While the others I’d known had all had bodies more or less closely resembling various animals, this one had a gigantic, stocky body, with a solid, downward sloping spine with jagged vertebrae, and long, thick, straight legs like tree trunks, clearly designed for wading through mud and water. Its head was a huge dog skull, sporting enormous moose antlers, wider than I was tall.

What really caught my attention, though, was the large, red eye glowing in the skull’s left eye socket. It was the same eyelight I’d seen the other day, in the swamp. That red eyelight was now fixed unwaveringly on me.

I swallowed, gathered my courage and addressed the ancient and powerful deity staring right at me. “Greetings, oh Wetland God. I am the one who sent you the letter this morning – the witch seeking to make her home in your swamp, with your permission. It is an honour to meet you, Old One.”

That crimson stare intensified. “ i know you... ” I gave a start as a deep, rumbling voice issued forth from the Old God, harsh, halting, and seeming almost rusty from disuse. “ i saw you... before... but you left.. .” The red eyelight shook, shrinking, before expanding once more, to take up the entire socket. “ i was so... so happy... when i got your letter... i recognised... your magic... your scent... ” The red light got brighter, lighting up the entire area like a blazing fire. “ you will stay with me... your owl said... that you’ll stay with me... you WILL stay with me... right?... forever... right?... ”

I nodded hesitantly. “That’s the idea, yes. I hope to make this place my home. My forever home, if you will.”

The Wetland God made a low, bellowing sound, followed by a couple of sharp trills, his colossal body swaying slightly. Bygone magic filled the air, buzzing against my skin, and making the hairs on my arms and on the back of my neck stand on end. Small strands of green began sprouting up from the mud, and the murky water started to clear. A few tiny blossoms even popped up along the deity’s legs and antlers.

While I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of such a reaction, I took it as a good sign. I was at least confident that the God wasn’t displeased with my presence here. If anything, the magic saturating the air was tinged with what felt distinctly like excitement. Definitely a good sign.

I cleared my throat. “I take it that I am welcome here, then. If so, would you be so kind as to let me know where I am permitted to make my home?”

In response, the towering being lowered his head to the ground in front of me. “ i will... take you home... ”

I blinked, not certain if I’d heard him right, or if I was misunderstanding his intention. “Do you mean for me to... climb onto your head?”

“ yes... ” came his reply, not even a hint of hesitation in his voice. Unlike mine, which was filled with uncertainty, as I nodded to him, “As you... wish.”

I was far from comfortable getting so close to such an incredibly old and powerful deity, but I wasn’t about to refuse a direct order from him. With slow and tentative movements, I climbed on top of his massive skull and sat myself in between those wide and solid antlers.

When he was sure that I was securely sat on his head, the Wetland God very gently lifted his skull, seeming to take great care to not jostle me about, as he straightened up and carefully strode off through the bog. His gait was surprisingly steady, despite the deep mud he was wading through, and my ride was pleasantly smooth.

It was quite the novel experience. I’d never heard of a Forest God allowing a mere mortal to actually ride on them, like some common beast of burden. It was a great honour, honestly, and I made sure to savour every second of it. I’d likely never get another opportunity like this again, so I had to make the most of this one while it lasted.

Leaning forward slightly, I placed a hand on the surface of the skull, taking a brief moment to appreciate the cool and smooth bone-like texture of the God’s head, before addressing him. “Mighty Wetland God, I wish to thank you for allowing me to live in your domain. I will endeavour to never make you regret your decision. And I sincerely hope that the two of us will get along well.”

His crimson eyelight seemed to fuzz around the edges, and I watched in amazement as a soft, pink hue spread across his muzzle. Was... was he blushing ? He couldn’t be, surely. That was impossible... Right?

“ i would never regret... you living with me... ” he sounded completely sure of himself. I raised an eyebrow at him, wondering where such confidence came from. “ and i promise... to make you happy... here... with me... ” I sucked in a sharp breath at his vow, feeling completely bewildered as to why a Forest God would make such a promise, and to a mortal, some human he’d only just met. What, by the stars , was this deity thinking?

I cleared my throat, trying to calm my racing thoughts and keep a cool head. “I’m, uh, incredibly flattered by your... kindness. Thank you, My Lord.”

“ ... skull... ”

My brows furrowed at the seemingly random word. “Skull?”

His definitely-not-a-blush darkened slightly, spreading further across his snout. “ yes... ” he told me, his voice deep and heavy, yet quiet and almost shy. “ that’s my... my name... ”

I exhaled heavily, something like awe flowing through me. I could hardly believe my ears. Had a Forest God really just given me his name? That was... that was... unexpected , to put it mildly. Old Gods did not give out their names lightly – it was a privilege, one which you had to earn. So for this one to simply volunteer his name, without my even having to ask it of him...

I stared at the top of his skull in disbelief. Why? Why would he do such a thing? I wasn’t anyone important. Not to an Old God, at least. So then, why would he give me his name so freely? What had I done to deserve such an honour?

As I puzzled over these questions, the scenery began to change, from bog to marsh. I frowned in confusion. Wasn’t the bog far wider than this? Why had we already reached the marsh? This was too soon. We should still have been wading through several more miles of barren wasteland.

And then my eyes fell upon an even more startling sight.

What had only recently been waterlogged soil, was now practically a flower garden. Thousands of tiny, colourful, low-lying marsh flowers spread out as far as the eye could see, interspersed with twisting, winding, glittering waterways.

As I watched in stunned silence, I noticed more and more flowers blossoming. I could also sense just how steeped in Life Magic the earth was, encouraging the growth of plants and causing flowers to bloom every second. Even the wildlife was benefitting from the ancient magics, as more and more birds flocked to the marsh, and more fish and amphibians swam in the crystal-clear waters.

Life was well and truly returning to the wetlands.

I was astonished at such a dramatic transformation, in such a short amount of time. “Skull... This is incredible... What happened here since I last saw it?”

Skull came to a stop, allowing me to admire the natural beauty surrounding us. Several birds flew closer, clearly with the intent of landing on the Wetland God’s antlers, but Hermes spread his wings wide and screeched threateningly at them, and they flew away in a hurry.

“ i wanted to... make our home nicer... for you... you deserve... a nice home... ” I wanted to gape at him, but managed to restrain myself. Then his voice lowered, a hint of shame leaking into it “ i’m sorry... you saw it... so ugly... so sick... i’m trying hard... to make it better... for you... ”

I was speechless for a while, as my brain struggled to process what I’d heard. Had Skull been terraforming his domain since he received my letter? Or maybe even, ever since he first saw me? That... that was... “Wow. I-I don’t know what to say... Thank you, Skull. You did an amazing job. The place looks beautiful. And very lively.”

Skull made a pleased sound, the ambient magic fairly thrumming with its Wetland God’s joy, and several more tiny flowers bloomed on the deity’s horns. Skull then resumed his walk, taking us further into the heart of his territory, until we eventually reached the very centre.

The swamp at the heart of the wetlands hadn’t changed since I was last here. Not surprising, considering it was likely a lot older than the rest of the wetlands, and would therefore take more time to change. But it was still an impressive sight.

Alligators swam alongside us, eyeing me curiously, and Skull rumbled something to them in a language I couldn’t understand. Whatever it was, it seemed to have made them happy, given their own, excited rumblings. More birds flew closer, and were again scared off by Hermes.

I rolled my eyes in fond exasperation at how territorial my owl familiar was of me. I was his home and his family, and he would allow no other bird near me. Artemis, meanwhile, remained curled around my neck and shoulders, glaring at the alien landscape, and grumbling about the humidity and the bizarre odours.

The sun was starting to set, tinting the enveloping mists in soft hues of pink and orange. Fireflies had also begun to appear, gradually filling the air with their tiny lights. I could hear the croaking of frogs, the buzzing of insects, and the singing of birds, all blending together with the sloshing of water, in a mesmerising harmony of sounds. I couldn’t help but sit back and listen to the song of the swamp.

It was all wonderfully atmospheric. Romantic, even. I snorted lightly, dismissing the ridiculous thought. Romance had no place in my life.

We finally came to a stop in front of what had to be the biggest tree in the whole swamp, standing at the very centre of the entire Wetland. It really was a giant among trees, taller and wider than any other I’d ever seen, stretching so high into the sky, I couldn’t see the top. A hollow had formed inside it, rising above the water level, and wide enough that I suspected even Skull might be able to fit inside, if he curled himself up.

There was a lip of wood at the entrance of the hollow, and it was to there that I hopped, when Skull lowered his head, a clear indication that I should disembark.

Inside the hollow, I found it lined with piles of pillows and blankets, and heaps of little trinkets. The entire alcove smelled of fur and incense, and even faintly of beeswax. It looked... cosy. Surprisingly cosy, and homey. Did someone live here?

I turned towards Skull, who was stood just outside the hollow, staring at me intently. “What is this place? Where did all this stuff come from?”

The corners of Skull’s jaws raised up in something resembling a smile. “ my nest... ” my eyebrows fairly flew into my hairline at that shocking revelation. I could never have guessed that the Wetland God would take me to his nest . But Skull wasn’t done blindsiding me yet. “ now OUR nest... i tried to make it better... for you... i added softer... and prettier blankets... and pillows... all for you... my lovely wife... ”

I choked on my spit at that last word. “W-Wife?!” my voice rang out in a strangled yell. My mind came crashing to a halt, because seriously... I must have misheard him. Surely he hadn’t meant to call me his wife .

But Skull only smiled wider, blushing once more, and nodded his massive head. “ yes... my wife... my lovely, little wife... my darling mate... ”

I thought my heart was about to stop. I could barely breath, as thoughts rushed through my head at breakneck speed, my brain desperately trying to come up with some kind of explanation for Skull’s inconceivable behaviour. Just how had he come to believe that I was his wife ? Had I done something, anything which could’ve led the Wetland God to think me his mate? I wracked my mind for any kind of plausible reason for this huge misunderstanding, but could find none.

“ so small... so soft... so pretty... such a sweet smell... such strong magic... ”

Had Hermes in any way intimated such a thing to Skull when they’d spoken? As soon as the thought came, I dismissed it. No, my loyal owl familiar would’ve followed my instructions to the letter. He was dutiful to a fault, and would never go against my orders, or do anything that wasn’t strictly in my best interests. And he rarely, if ever, acted on his own initiative, more content to await my commands. He would never have so much as implied, to the Wetland God, that I was interested in being anything more than a simple resident of his domain.

A noise rumbled from deep within Skull’s chest, one that sounded disturbingly like a purr. “ i’m so happy... you came... i’m so happy... you accepted me... i’m so... so happy... ”

And he sounded it, too. I glanced up at him, taking in his undeniably joyful countenance. He definitely looked happy, too. I bit my lip. This... this was a disaster. This unstable Forest God, whose home I was to live in, was woefully mistaken as to the nature of our relationship. As such, I would need to correct his misconception, immediately.

I braced myself and opened my mouth-

“ i knew... from the moment... our eyes met... that you were... the one... ” Skull’s voice rumbled like boulders tumbling down a mountain, and yet there was something... soft in the way he spoke to me. Something tender, and warm. Something I’d never heard from anyone else before.

“ the one... i’d been waiting for... all my life... ” The blood-red glow of his eyelight softened, the pupil at its centre becoming heart-shaped, as Skull’s gaze remained fixed on me, never wavering for even a second. It was a look I’d never seen before. One full of awe and adoration. Skull looked at me as if I was the most precious thing in his world. “ i was... so lonely... but not anymore... not now that... i have you... ”

He sighed, a warm gust of wind which rustled my robes and tousled my hair. “ i’m so happy... that you’re here... with me... ” He let out a sharp trill, ending in a deep purr. “ i promise... to make you... happy too... i want you... to love me... as much as... i love you... my mate... ”

I stared at Skull’s loving face, his gaze so full of affection, for me. My mouth was still open, ready to deny being his mate and clear up this whole mess. “I-I... can’t wait...!” was what came out instead. I winced, mentally kicking myself for saying something so stupid.

Skull’s expression brightened. His purring intensifying, he leaned his head close and pressed the end of his snout against me. “ my wife... my mate... so warm... so soft... i love you... so much... ”

And instead of doing anything even remotely sensible, such as telling this deranged deity that I was most certainly not his wife, I just lifted my hands up to his head, and ran my hands all along his hard muzzle, petting his skull as if he were an overgrown puppy.

As Skull continued to purr, making low, muffled sounds of contentment, the magic around him hummed and shuddered, causing tiny flowers to bloom all around us. I shivered, as the Wetland God’s ancient magic brushed up against me, like a cat demanding attention, and released my own magic into the air, allowing it to mingle with his. Skull purred louder, the vibrations sinking into my very bones. Admittedly, it was actually quite a pleasant sensation.

I sighed. Oh well... This wasn’t an entirely terrible situation. It could’ve been a lot worse, all things considered. Besides, Skull would probably snap out of whatever bout of insanity was currently consuming him, and return to his senses in no time.

His infatuation with me was only temporary, and would soon fade away.

…Right?

__________________________________________

This wasn't supposed to be this long. It was supposed to be a oneshot. But I just cannot seem to write a reader-insert without constantly adding more and more and more, until it balloons into several far-too-long chapters. But this will be a twoshot (with a short epilogue)! It WILL!! I REFUSE to let this drag on for more than two chapters! I have other things to do! Other WIPs that demand my attention! So there will be ONE more chapter, almost entirely comprised of fluff, with Skull being a soft boi, reader discovering her inner soft gurl, and her two familiars being literally soft. And then a short epilogue (which will basically just be a fun bonus for those who've read "Good Girl Needs Kiss").

See you guys for the second (and definitely last!) part.

Any potentially dangerous objects were sealed away in a secure lockbox, which I’d hidden in the secret storage compartment in the floorboards underneath the large, sturdy bed Papyrus had built for me. My previous bed had been no match for my boyfriend’s very ardent affections, whenever he spent the night here, but Papyrus had proven to be quite the skilled carpenter, and this new bed seemed very robust. Still, I’d added my own reinforcing enchantments to it, just in case. Papyrus was very strong, after all. He was also quite the artist, and had even carved flames and cute, little bones into the frame. So talented, my boyfriend , I sighed dreamily to myself, as I brushed my cat familiar’s fur until it was silky smooth.

As soon as the skeleton brothers had entered the forest I lived in, several tree nymphs had shown up outside my window to let me know all about it, and were currently giving me a detailed, running commentary on the brothers’ trek to my cottage. Nymphs were notorious gossips, nosy, yet reliable with their information, and I always appreciated being kept up-to-date on the goings-on of my home, especially where it concerned anyone coming to see me. Nothing happened in the forest without the nymphs knowing about it, and it was very reassuring to have these nature spirits keeping a close eye on my very important visitors.

I wasn’t too worried about anything untoward happening to the brothers, though. The ancient Forest God protecting this entire area had taken quite the liking to Papyrus (in large part thanks to all of the fun and creative puzzles he’d been coming up with to entertain the forests’ inhabitants), and had even named him an official “Friend of the Forest”, granting him safe passage through these woods whenever he pleased. And since the Old God had given his approval, all the rest of the woodland residents would respect his judgement. Many will-o'-the-wisps had even taken it upon themselves to guide Papyrus back to safe trails, whenever he’d gotten distracted by something or someone, and lost his way. I was truly delighted by how easily and quickly my boyfriend had managed to befriend my friends and neighbours. All the more reason to befriend his friends in turn! And as a human this time.

I’d finally managed to get all of the major chores done, and was discussing with my household brownie if there were any minor tasks that needed doing. The shy, little, brown elf was usually the one taking care of most of the housework, which I was always very grateful for, but this was too big and too important a job for him alone. Nevertheless, his help was invaluable to me, and he knew my cottage even better than I did, so I was seeking his opinion on what else I could do to make the place look more inviting. Suddenly, I heard a furious voice booming in the distance.

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT SANS, WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?!?!?!”

I’d recognise that obnoxiously loud voice anywhere! Papyrus! I gasped to myself, as I reached over to help the brownie back onto his feet, after he’d startled so badly from the noise that he’d fallen over. With a quick promise from the tiny elf to keep an eye on my house while I was gone, I ran to the front door, grabbing my broomstick on my way out. Once outside, I hopped onto my broom, kicked off the ground and was up in the air in the blink of an eye, shooting off in the direction of my boyfriend’s irate shouting.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I fretted over what could have happened to Papyrus, my mind racing as it came up with increasingly horrifying possibilities. The forest, while generally peaceful, was nonetheless full of mysterious and sometimes malevolent entities, ever eager to play nasty tricks on unsuspecting travellers. I prayed that my boyfriend and his brother hadn’t run afoul of one of the more malicious creatures living in these dark woods...

The further I flew, the louder the yelling became, until I could hear both Papyrus and Sans’s voices clearly.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!!”

“but pap-”

“NO!!! DON’T HURT MY DATEMATE’S PLANT FRIEND!! YOU MIGHT MAKE HER HATE YOU!! AND THEN YOU TWO WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS!! WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE!! SANS!! WE MUST NOT FUCK UP THIS VERY IMPORTANT HANG-OUT, NO MATTER WHAT!!”

Papyrus sounded both panicked and determined, whereas Sans sounded more annoyed than anything, as he responded to his brother.

“then what exactly do you suggest we-”

I finally reached the two skeleton monsters, only to find them both dangling several feet in the air, ensnared in the vines of a gigantic plant, the main body of which was a massive, flower-like creature, whose metres-wide, fuchsia petals formed a humongous mouth, lined with several rows of razor-sharp fangs. Harsh, guttural growls reverberated through the air, seeming to be coming from the main flower. I noticed that a large, draconic skull was also caught in the vines, and instantly recognised it as a Gaster Blaster, although it was wider and thicker than the ones Papyrus would occasionally summon during his training.

Sans had cut himself off when I flew into view, and both brothers were openly staring at me, their eye sockets wide and pitch black, as I took in the scene before me with no small amount of alarm. Sans was the first to recover from his shock, as he waved at me casually, lazy grin fixed on his skull, with only the tightness of his expression betraying how uneasy he actually was.

“oh, hey. ‘sup, kid, howzit hanging ?”

I blinked at him, at a loss for words. Papyrus, however, was not, as he turned an angry glare on his brother.

“SANS!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR AWFUL PUNS!!”

He was struggling furiously within the vines holding him, almost upside down in the air, as more vines rose up to further constrict him. Sans tried very hard to appear unbothered by the situation, as he shrugged carelessly.

“you’re totally right, bro.” He then shot me a wink. “sorry pal, but we can’t chat right now, we’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“SAAAAANS!!!”

As Papyrus practically exploded at his brother’s joking, I hurriedly flew towards the two of them, gripping my broom tightly in my concern.

“Oh shit, are you guys all right?!”

In hindsight, that was probably a stupid question, but this was a ridiculous situation I was in. This was not at all how I envisioned today going, I silently despaired. Papyrus gave a nervous laugh, trying vainly to appear cool and collected, despite his current predicament.

“DON’T WORRY, MY BELOVED DATEMATE! WE’RE PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT! WE WERE JUST HANGING OUT WITH YOUR LOVELY FLOWER FRIEND AND DEFINITELY NOT ATTACKING IT!!”

Sans chuckled, looking more pleased at his brother’s pun than he did his own, but I ignored the both of them to make my way down to the main blossom. Landing on the forest floor, I swiftly got off of my broom, and used it to deliver a firm whack to the flower, scolding it with my best cross look.

“You let my friends down this instant, you ill-mannered lout!”

The plant snarled at me, the sound deep, harsh and menacing, but I just pointed the business end of my broom threateningly at it.

“Don’t you sass me, plant bitch! Unhand my boyfriend and his brother, right now , or I’m getting out the weed killer! And you better be gentle! Or else .”

The flower audibly grumbled at me, before reluctantly lowering the two skeleton monsters to the ground, and released them from its vines. The giant blossom, along with all of its leafy, tentacle-like vines, then retreated into the bushes, slinking away and disappearing in the undergrowth.

I heaved a deep sigh, sagging in relief, before running over to the brothers as they staggered to their feet, checking them both over carefully, and making sure that they were unharmed. Neither of them seemed the worse for wear after their ordeal, thankfully, just a little shaken and covered in leaves. The chunky Gaster Blaster shook itself vigorously as it hovered in the air, looking remarkably like a dog shaking water from its fur, before it vanished, returning to wherever Blasters go when they aren’t being summoned (I assumed, at least, since I’d never actually asked Papyrus the specifics of his skeletal weapons).

As I looked the brothers over, I couldn’t help but notice that Papyrus was wearing the “Cool Dude” shirt he often wore on our dates (he said it was part of his “secret style”, but I’d seen it so often I didn’t know what was so secret about it), as well as a pair of trousers I’d never seen before, with what looked like a Halloween themed design. I wondered if the pointy witch hats, black cats, bats, and pumpkins reminded him of me. A large part of me hoped so. Or maybe he thought I would appreciate them (I did, if that was the case, very much so).

Sans, on the other hand, was wearing his usual outfit, except with the addition of a bow tie, distinctly shaped like a bone. I could practically hear the “bone tie” pun from him, and resolved to not mention it in Papyrus’s presence. Best not to give the local forest spirits the wrong idea about these two.

Once Papyrus had regained his footing, brushing off all of the leaves clinging to his clothes, he reached out towards me with arms wide open and quite literally swept me off my feet, as he hugged me tightly to his chest, and spun the both of us around in a circle.

“WOWIE!! YOU WERE SO COOL! SAVING US FROM YOUR PLANT PAL WITHOUT ANYONE GETTING HURT! SO COOL! SO HEROIC! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

He set me back on the ground, but kept his arms loosely wrapped around me, which I was grateful for, since my impromptu mid-air twirl had left me a little dizzy. He was beaming down at me and I returned his bright smile, feeling my heart flutter in my chest at being so close to the one I loved. I felt a warmth close to my heart, which I recognised as my soul, as it too rejoiced at being so near to Papyrus and his own soul.

“I’m just glad you guys are all right,” I sighed softly, wrapping my own arms around Papyrus, returning his hug. My boyfriend squeezed me tighter in response, drawing me closer to him, and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on my lips. Just then, the sound of a camera shutter going off caused me to jolt apart from Papyrus and whip my head towards the noise. I saw Sans holding his phone up and pointing the lens towards us. He smiled apologetically at us, lowering his phone.

“heh heh, oops, sorry. shoulda silenced my phone,” he then gave us a cheeky wink. “you kids were just so cute, i couldn’t help snappin’ a quick pic. wanna hold tight to the good memories, after all.”

I could feel my cheeks heat up at his words, but I couldn’t argue with his reasoning. And neither could Papyrus, it seemed, as he swiftly made his way to his brother’s side and snatched the latter’s phone right out of his hands, to admire the photo Sans had taken of us. The taller skeleton’s face lit up, tiny specks of light glittering within the depths of his eye sockets, and he started tapping away on Sans’s phone.

“WOWIE! THAT’S SUCH A GREAT PHOTO! WE SURE ARE CUTE, NYEH HEH HEH!! I’M SENDING THIS TO MY PHONE RIGHT NOW! I WANT TO HOLD TIGHT TO THIS GOOD MEMORY AS WELL!!”

I tried to cover my blushing cheeks, but couldn’t contain my smile. Papyrus gushing over photos of the two of us always made me feel giddy, and my soul warmed at how obviously my boyfriend treasured our relationship, new as it still was. I reached up a hand to yank my tall witch’s hat off of my head, and used it to fan my face, hoping to cool down my blush. The tiny, fluffy owl chick which had been peacefully snoozing underneath my hat, stirred slightly at the disturbance, but Papyrus quickly ran a phalange gently over its downy head and along its soft, puffy body, soothing the baby bird back to sleep.

Papyrus had been utterly enthralled to learn that I often kept baby birds, entrusted to me by their parents, underneath my hat, and when this latest owl chick had hatched, he’d immediately started fussing over the little fella, and caring for him like a parent would, even going so far as to keep bird feed on hand at all times. He’d even named the owlet “Voltaire”, proudly boasting about how fitting a name it was. I certainly hoped so, since Voltaire was a very intelligent writer and philosopher. Sans, meanwhile, had greatly appreciated the double pun.

Ordinarily, once the chicks were old enough, they’d fly the nest, so to speak, but Papyrus had grown so attached to this baby owl, and it to him, that I was considering keeping the little guy as my second familiar. My mother had two familiars herself, her cat Artemis, and her owl Hermes, however I’d never felt like my magic was stable enough to support two familiar bonds. Besides, Midnight had always been more than enough for me, and I didn’t want to risk him not liking another companion.

But with my blossoming relationship with Papyrus, and my growing friendship with his friends and family, I felt more confident in myself than ever before. Papyrus had been steadfast in his support of me and my efforts to improve my magical abilities, and had even declared himself my biggest fan. With him by my side, cheering me on every step of the way, I felt like I could accomplish anything. Once Voltaire was old enough, I would perform the bonding ritual, and he and I would be together for the rest of our lives. Hopefully so would Papyrus , my heart wished.

After I’d returned my hat back to its place on my head, and Papyrus had handed Sans’s phone back to him, my boyfriend gave me a deep bow, grabbing his brother’s skull to shove it down as well. I blinked at them in confusion, as Papyrus offered me his apologies.

“MY DARLING DATEMATE, SANS AND I ARE SO SORRY FOR UPSETTING YOUR FLOWER FRIEND! AREN’T WE, SANS?”

Beside him, Sans mumbled a “yep, sure are” and Papyrus let him up, the both of them straightening up from their bow. I hastily shook my head, waving away their unnecessary apology.

“No, no, it’s fine, really! That flower has always been a bit of a grumpy git. Besides, it’s kinda my fault it’s like that anyway.” I sighed, recalling the incident which had led to the plant’s foul temperament and abnormally large size. “You see, it’s a very rare species of flower, whose seeds have many, fascinating uses in alchemy. So, I thought that if I poured some growth potion on it, it’d have bigger seeds, and therefore more material for me to work with. Clever, right?”

Papyrus nodded his skull in agreement, assuring me I was “VERY CLEVER!” and I smiled gratefully at him, before my face fell as I continued.

“Unfortunately, I failed to brew the potion correctly, and while the flower did indeed grow to a gigantic size, as intended, it somehow also gained some level of sentience as well. I still don’t know where I messed up in the brewing process to have caused such an effect...” I bit my lip, frowning thoughtfully to myself, before I shook my head, dismissing the question for another time. “But anyway, I thought I’d managed to tame the nasty beast, for the most part, and it hasn’t attacked anyone in a long while. I don’t know why it chose to attack you two now, but I’m really sorry about that.”

I wrung my hands anxiously, feeling guilty that my past actions had put my dear friends in danger, but Papyrus strode forward and took my hands into his own. He wasn’t wearing his gloves for once, and I enjoyed the feeling of cool, smooth bone against my skin, as he gave my hands a firm squeeze. He smiled down at me reassuringly.

“DON’T BE! IT WAS ALL SANS’S FAULT!” The monster in question huffed a laugh at how easily his brother had thrown him under the proverbial bus. Papyrus leaned his skull down to press his forehead to mine, as he gazed directly into my eyes. “MY FOOLISH BROTHER IGNORED MY INSTRUCTIONS TO NOT BOTHER THE FOREST’S RESIDENTS, AND PICKED ONE OF YOUR FRIEND’S SMALLER FLOWERS. SO YOU SEE, SANS IS ENTIRELY TO BLAME! MY LITTLE LADY HAS NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR!”

My guilt wasn’t completely assuaged, but I did feel a lot better at his words. I was just glad that he wasn’t upset with me for creating such a menace and allowing it to run loose in the forest. Still, I couldn’t really fault the flower for getting mad at the brothers, if one of its blooms was harvested without its consent. I twisted my head towards Sans, and he hunched his shoulders a little, looking sheepish as he held up the flower which had instigated this whole mess.

“eh heh heh... sorry about that, pal. i didn’t know the rest of the plant would take offence to my takin’ just one, tiny bud,” he glanced down at it, eyelights fuzzing slightly around the edges. “i thought frisk would like it. she loves pretty flowers.”

I thought back to Frisk’s stunning, flower-filled garden, with its myriad of blossoms covering the majority of the area, a veritable kaleidoscope of vibrant colours everywhere you looked. She did indeed love pretty flowers. And the one Sans was holding would fit right in with the rest in Frisk’s garden, with its bright, pink petals. I nodded my head, conceding Sans’s point.

“True, she’ll probably like it,” Sans’s smile widened at my agreement. “Just let her know that while it is edible, it has a rather bitter flavour. Nothing overpowering, but still something to be aware of.”

Sans looked at me a little oddly, for some reason, before shrugging and giving me a wink.

“sure, i’ll tell her that. heh, thanks for the advice, kid.”

I beamed at him, glad to be of help. “No problem!”

Papyrus then clapped his hands, as if he’d just thought of something.

“SPEAKING OF PRESENTS!” He reached into his inventory and took out a bone, with a big, red bow wrapped around it. He held the bone out to me with a huge grin. “THIS IS A GIFT SANS BROUGHT FOR YOU, ON HIS OWN!”

Sans looked to be holding back a snigger, which I found puzzling, but I chose not to question his strange behaviour, as I happily accepted the kind gift.

“Thanks, Sans! How thoughtful of you! I love bones.”

Papyrus’s in particular, but I kept that to myself; Sans didn’t need to know that. The shorter skeleton monster seemed to be trying to hold back another laugh, as he struggled to get out a “no problem at all , buddy”. Huh. He really was an odd fellow, but I was glad to have such interesting friends. I made a mental note to find a present of my own to give to Sans, one that would match the level of care that must have gone into this one.

Clutching my lovely gift firmly in one hand, I bent down to retrieve my fallen broomstick with the other, and suggested that the three of us make our way to my cottage, before we attracted any more unwanted attention. As it was, a group of tree nymphs were already giggling to each other, and would most certainly be gossiping about this encounter for the next few days. I could also spot several curious fairies spying on us from behind tree leaves and bushes, and who knew what else was watching us, hiding from view. I sighed in exasperation. Didn’t these creatures have anything better to do?

Papyrus readily agreed with my suggestion, even volunteering to carry my broom for me, so that he could free up one of my hands to hold it in his. I eagerly accepted, of course, and the three of us marched off in the direction of my home, myself and my boyfriend walking hand in hand the entire way.

Despite the little hiccup with the giant, angry flower, the rest of the day passed by smoothly, and I felt that by the end of it, Sans and I had grown even closer as friends, which delighted me to no end. My friendship power would soon be unmatched! And Papyrus was even more thrilled by this than I was, if his not-so-quiet comments to himself and to Sans were anything to go by. The big guy wasn’t very subtle about his desire for his loved ones to get along well, but that just proved that he had a big heart (metaphorically speaking)!

As an added bonus, I’d learnt that the hobgoblin did, in fact, enjoy knock knock jokes, and a great deal too. Papyrus, however, did not . All in all, today had been a fun and interesting day indeed, and I looked forward to my next hang-out with the skeleton brothers (even if I did prefer my private dates with Papyrus just a bit more).

___________________________________________

This was fun to write. I normally avoid swearing in my fics, just because it feels a little too crass (even though I cuss a bunch in real life, amongst my close friends and family), but just for this special occasion, I'm letting Papyrus swear. It feels a little weird, honestly 'w'

Anyway, to my regular readers, I've got something planned for this coming Sunday, because it's Father's Day where I am. I wrote something for Mother's Day, so I couldn't miss out on Father's Day ^^ It won't be similar to my other fic, though, but I hope people like it all the same.

So, I did the natural thing, and brewed a potion for understanding animals. Simple. But then I wondered about the potency of the spell. How strong was this ability it would grant me? Would I be able to understand all animals, or only some? It would be awful if it was the former. I didn’t want to be able to hear every single creature that creeped and crawled in my lovely little witch’s cottage, after all. And I definitely didn’t want to listen to the animals getting it on in my backyard, especially not those horny foxes, I heard them enough as it was. So then, how to narrow the effect down? And then it hit me. A love-based enchantment! With that, I would be able to tailor the effects of the spell, to only work on those whom I had especially strong feelings for. Genius. What could possibly go wrong?

What I had failed to take into account, however, was one tiny, crucial detail: I was an utter dumbass , who’d never gotten a single spell right on the first try, and whose magical endeavours were more miss than hit. In my defence, most of my screw-ups were entirely fixable, with the consequences being, at worst, a tad... explodey. Nothing I couldn’t work around or reverse. I would be fine , I told myself, surely .

And so, it was with all the confidence of someone who really should know better, that I downed my smoking, puce-coloured concoction, choking down the thick, goopy mixture, while reflexively supressing the urge to gag, and waited, eagerly, for the magic to kick in. It took a couple of seconds, but then, with a * poof* , my world erupted into smoke. It took a while for my coughing to die down, as the smoke cleared away, but eventually I opened my eyes.

Why was everything so big?

Looking around, I noticed how gigantic my home appeared, as if it’d grown a dozen sizes. Wait a minute . A dreadful thought hit me. What if everything around me hadn’t grown , but instead, I’ d shrunk . Fuck. I looked down at myself. Double fuck. What I saw were two fluffy paws. Not hands. Not feet. Paws . Trying to turn around, I stumbled, losing my balance, and fell over, landing in a mass of soft fabric. It took me a little while to realise that those were my official witch robes. I’d become so small, that my clothes no longer fit me. I was completely naked, on top of being much shorter and fluffier than normal. Lovely.

It took a lot of stumbling, shuffling and tripping, but I eventually managed to coordinate all of my limbs enough to make my way over to my floor-length mirror. My jaw dropped at the image which greeted me.

I was a dog.

And not just any dog. A chihuahua . Well, fuck me .

It’s not that I hated dogs, per se, but being a self-respecting witch, I obviously preferred cats. I did get on quite well with my local wolf pack, but that was about it. And now I’d managed to turn myself into a dog. No, a chihuahua . Those nasty, yappy little blighters some weird women liked to carry around in their purses and dress up in ridiculous outfits. Why couldn’t I have been a husky, or a German Shepherd, or something a little more dignified, and a little less... this ? Urgh...

A dark shadow fell over me. Startled, I looked up and realised that Midnight had managed to sneak up on me, without my notice.

“You stealthy bugger, this is all your fault!” I told him.

Or at least, I tried to. But all that came out of my mouth were several high-pitched barks. Oh right, I’m a dog now. Midnight tilted his head at me, studying me with the same intense look of curiosity he wore when examining some new toy I’d gotten for him. He sniffed me, his long whiskers tickling my face and making my nose twitch, then meowed at me. I stared at him. No. No, it couldn’t be. I couldn’t have screwed up this badly! He meowed again. Oh. My. Stars .

I howled (literally) in rage, as I realised that, not only had I been transformed into a dog, not only was I a fucking chihuahua of all things, but I still could not understand a single damn thing my cat was saying! All that work, all those ingredients, all this humiliation and inconvenience I was currently suffering! It was all for nothing ! Could this debacle get any worse?!

As if to answer my hypothetical question, and add salt to my proverbial wounds, Midnight turned his back to me and sauntered away, his long, black tail waving in the air, as if to bid me goodbye. Traitor! Don’t abandon me when I’m at my lowest! We’re supposed to be partners! Come back heeeeere! But my heartless bastard of a cat merely leapt through an open window, with all the grace and agility my clumsy, canine body could only dream of, and disappeared from view. I was officially alone.

Well, fine. Fine , then. I didn’t need anyone. I could fix this, on my own. I was a big girl and a competent witch, right? Wrong , my mind whispered, but I promptly shoved that unhelpful thought aside, and focused on trying to find a solution to my current predicament. First things first, what went wrong? As I pondered that question, I thought back to the lessons my mother, a famed sorceress in her own right, had taught me as a child. All spells were inherently tricky, she would say, no matter how simple they seemed, and it was best to never overcomplicate them, as any number of things could affect a spell’s outcome.

So, perhaps some of the ingredients hadn’t reacted the way I’d expected? Was it the eye of newt that was the problem? Or did I put in too much bat saliva? Maybe I should’ve added some extra frogspawn, to stabilise the mixture a bit more? Hmmm... Oh! I suddenly remembered how my mother had advised me to avoid combining different magical mediums, as it was always difficult to predict how they’d interact with each other, even if their normal effects seemed very straightforward. I guess I shouldn’t have added that enchantment to my potion. Oops. To be fair, my mother did it all the time, but then again, she was an experienced witch and master spellcaster, while I was... not. Yet , at least. But someday, I would be! If I ever managed to return to human form, that is.

I sighed, feeling my ears droop and my tail lower to the floor. But I didn’t allow myself to wallow in self-pity for too long, as I soon pulled myself together and shook my head, my entire body following suit. Okay, think . How do I undo the spell? Well, enchantments were generally easier to break than trying to reverse a potion’s effects, every witch knew that, so I should try to figure out how to do that . The enchantment I’d placed on the potion was based on feelings of love. So perhaps it was those same feelings of love which would break the spell? An idea started to form in my mind.

What about true love’s kiss?

That broke most curses, after all, and what was a curse if not a malicious enchantment? And love was the most powerful magic in the world, with a kiss from one’s true love being the single most effective cure to most unwanted spells. I nodded my head decisively, my overlarge ears flapping with the motion. Love got me into this mess, so love would get me out of it! There was only one problem. I didn’t have a true love.

Being a witch was a full-time job, after all, and a mysterious and often dangerous one at that, with many unforeseen consequences. Case in point: me. A dog. The point was, I hadn’t had the chance to get out much and socialise with the general populace, and hadn’t been on many (read: any) dates. So, I would need to find someone to fall in love with me and give me a kiss. I looked down at my very fluffy paws. While being a dog, I mentally added. How the hell was I supposed to get someone to fall for me as a chihuahua?

I bit my lip, or rather, I tried to, and just ended up baring my teeth in a growl. Well... Maybe it didn’t have to be romantic love? I did specify my platonic love for my cat, when creating the enchantment, so maybe that same, warm, fuzzy adoration for one’s pet would be enough to break the spell? I dearly hoped so. It was either that, or find a zoophile, and I really wasn’t too keen on the latter. So, I needed to find a shmuck- uh, I meant, a kind soul who loved dogs, and who would take one look at my, erm, cute , tiny, fluffy self, and love me enough to kiss me. And then, poof! I’d be back to normal! Easy peasy.

I grinned as best as my doggy mouth would allow me (which probably still just looked like a grimace). What a foolproof plan! All I needed to do was to put it into action. And the best place to find a dog lover, was the dog park. With my tail automatically starting to wag, and consequently shaking my entire body, given how tiny I was, I got to my feet, uh, paws, and made the long, arduous trek to the nearest dog park.

~~~

It took me the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon, as I slowly got used to walking on all fours, but eventually I arrived at my destination. The change in my body was more apparent than ever, as a tidal wave of intense and unfamiliar scents assailed my now incredibly sensitive nose. I stood, frozen in place, as my brain went into overdrive trying to process all these new smells. I hadn’t been this overwhelmed since the first time I entered my mother’s study as a child, and discovered all of her mysterious and mystifying arcane instruments, and all of her ancient tomes filled with esoteric knowledge.

As I stared out at the wide expanse of grass in front of me, and all of the people walking and running around, playing with their pooches, I realised that I could still see the same variety of colour as I could as a human. It seemed that I hadn’t acquired dogs’ dichromatic vision along with their keen sense of smell. Thank my guardian stars for small mercies...

Just then, a flash of white bone crossed my field of vision and something in my doggy brain pinged . Before I realised what was happening, I was already running at full speed towards it and, once I was near enough, I launched myself into the air, jaws wide open and closed them around the hard, white osseous matter.

“YOWCH!!!”

I barely had time to process that almost earsplittingly loud exclamation of pain, before gigantic hands came around my body and firmly yanked me off of the bone I’d just bitten into. Those hands then carried me up, up, up into the air and came to a stop in front of a skull. Said skull proceeded to glare at me, in a way human skulls definitely couldn’t , and started talking.

“YOU MALEVOLENT MUTT! I KNOW THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM IRRESISTIBLE. HOWEVER! MY BONES ARE NOT FOR EATING!! SO IN FUTURE, PLEASE DEVOUR ME WITH YOUR EYES! AND NOT WITH YOUR MOUTH!!”

As his abnormally loud voice washed over me, the realisation dawned on me, then, that I’d just bitten a skeleton monster. Like some rabid animal . How utterly mortifying... Without conscious thought, my ears drooped down, flattening themselves against my head, and my tail tucked itself between my legs. I could feel my eyes widening and my body trembling, as the most pathetic, high-pitched whimpers I’d ever heard, escaped my mouth.

The monster’s expression visibly softened, against all laws of skeletal anatomy, and he sighed heavily, despite being a literal skeleton. Monsters were honestly fascinating , maybe I could persuade this one to let me examine him in the future. Once I’d returned to normal, of course. Ignorant of my inner thoughts, the monster lowered me back to the ground, and gently pet my head.

“OH, NEVER MIND, LITTLE ONE,” he smiled brightly at me, the sunshine glinting off of his pearly white teeth. “I FORGIVE YOU! I AM AN UNDERSTANDING SKELETON, AFTER ALL. I’M SURE THAT YOU DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT ME. YOU OBVIOUSLY COULDN’T CONTROL YOUR URGE TO HAVE A TASTE, WHEN PRESENTED WITH SUCH FINE BONES! I UNDERSTAND! BUT PLEASE!! BE A BIT MORE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE, OKIE DOKIE?”

And with that, he gave me another few gentle pats to my head, causing my tail to instinctually start wagging wildly, shaking my whole body with the force of the motion, and he stood up. As he walked away, I felt compelled to chase after him. Some primal part of me recognised a kind heart when it saw it, and wanted more of this nice stranger’s wonderful head pats. If the skeleton monster, Papyrus as he’d called himself, noticed me, he gave no indication, continuing his march through the park at a brisk pace, and swivelling his skull around as if searching for something or someone.

After what I estimated was about ten minutes of trailing along behind him, I started to slow down, my limbs growing unbearably heavy and my muscles aching, as my exhaustion from the day’s events finally caught up with me. Coming to a halt, I collapsed onto the grass, panting heavily, and watched Papyrus’s form get further and further away from me. Distress gripped my heart. No! Please don’t go! Don’t leave me! I cried out to his retreating back, and sharp, keening wails filled the air in place of words.

Papyrus froze, before swiftly turning around and marching right back to me. Stopping in front of my prone, tired body, he crouched down to caress my fur with long, gentle strokes.

“WHAT’S THE MATTER, FRIEND?” my ears perked up at the name, and at the warm tone of his voice. My tail began to wag, though much more sluggishly than before, and Papyrus smiled down at me. “YOU’VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME FOR A WHILE NOW. DO YOU WISH TO JOIN ME AND HELP ME SEARCH FOR MY OWN, LOST DOG? HE’S RUN OFF, AGAIN , THAT PERNICIOUS PUP! AND I’M LOOKING FOR HIM. I WOULD APPRECIATE THE COMPANY.”

Yes! I very much would like to join you! I wanted to tell him, but my delighted barks and yips conveyed my meaning well enough. Papyrus seemed to take them for the affirmation that they were, and stood up, looking down at me with a warmth that made my tail wag.

“GOOD GIRL, YOU’RE JUST LOST AREN’T YOU?” he asked me, tone soft and pitying.

He wasn’t wrong, though not in the way he meant it. I weakly tried to stand up, to walk with him once more, but my tired legs could no longer support my body, and I slumped back to the ground. Papyrus frowned down at me, his expression worried.

“OH NO! ARE YOU TIRED, GIRL?”

Without waiting for a response, not that I could really offer one in my state, the tall skeleton picked me up again and tucked me into the crook of the arm not holding a leash. Immediately, I was surrounded by the smell of snow and... spaghetti? It was oddly pleasant, and so comforting, soothing my soul like the greatest calming draught in the world. I snuggled closer into his hold, woofing softly in relief. Satisfied that I was secure and comfortable, Papyrus resumed his search.

From such a high vantage point (goodness, he really was tall, wasn’t he?), I could see far into the distance, though I tried my best not to look down. The height really was dizzying. Being this close to Papyrus, I could hear him grumble to himself.

“I BET THAT MEDDLING CANINE FOUND A STASH OF DOG SLIME TO ROLL AROUND IN!! THIS WOULD BE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK! JUST HOW MANY BATHS DO I NEED TO GIVE ONE DOG IN A WEEK…”

He then peered down at me, giving me a considering look. I yipped in his arms, my tongue sticking out as my tail wagged at the attention. Ah crap, these doggy instincts were getting stronger...

“CERTAINLY YOU’D KEEP CLEAN IF I BATHED YOU,” he continued to think aloud.

Well of course I would! Dog slime is not for rolling around in! It’s for adding to witchy brews, to curse someone with the compulsion to chase squirrels and bark at strangers! I huffed at him, offended at the very idea of doing such a thing, and something about my expression or my demeanour must have tickled his funny bone, because he tilted his skull back and laughed.

“NYEH HEH HEH! OF COURSE YOU WOULD! YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL, AREN’T YOU?”

I am! I barked out, feeling proud of myself, inexplicably. Blessed stars, I really have turned into a dog, haven’t I? Hopefully these canine thoughts don’t get any worse. I prayed that the effects of my botched spell were entirely reversible...

After almost an hour of fruitless searching, Papyrus came to a stop, sighing loudly and slumping his shoulders.

“NYOO HOO HOO... DESPITE MY VERY BEST EFFORTS, I HAVE FAILED TO FIND MY DOG... AND IT IS GETTING LATE. I NEED TO RETURN HOME AND PREPARE DINNER. I CANNOT LET MY BROTHER STARVE, BECAUSE OF MY TARDINESS!! I SHALL RETURN HOME, COOK DINNER, AND THEN RETURN TO CONTINUE MY SEARCH! AND I WON’T STOP LOOKING UNTIL I’VE FOUND THAT DOG! EVEN IF IT TAKES ME ALL NIGHT!!”

Papyrus looked really fired up, sparks of light shining in his dark eye sockets, as he clenched the fist not holding me. Then, he glanced down at me, his brows furrowing fretfully.

“AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, LITTLE LADY?” he asked, as if I could answer him. “DO YOU HAVE A HOME TO RETURN TO? A KIND AND LOVING FAMILY THAT IS MISSING YOU RIGHT NOW?”

At that, I thought back to Midnight, and how he’d left me, all on my own, without so much as a backward glance. I complained aloud. I should’ve gotten a toad, instead, or an owl! Those would be more loyal. Less cuddly, though... I miss my kitty ...

Papyrus must’ve taken my shrill, puppy whines as an admission of loneliness, for he quickly cuddled my body closer to his, running one phalange through my fur and scratching me under my chin. Oh. That felt rather nice, actually. Yes, more of that please .

“IT’S ALRIGHT, TINY MISS! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS ,  SHALL BE YOUR FRIEND!! YOU MAY STAY WITH MY BROTHER AND I FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIKE! I PROMISE TO CARE FOR YOU JUST AS WELL AS I DO WITH MY OTHER DOG! AND MAYBE YOU COULD TEACH HIM A FEW MANNERS ALONG THE WAY...”

I most certainly could! I’m very polite, I’ll have you know, and am very well-mannered! Just ask the bats living in my roof.

Papyrus beamed at my excited barking, taking in my wagging tail with delight, his eye sockets lighting up once more.

“WOWIE!! I HAVE MADE ANOTHER CANINE FRIEND! AND HOPEFULLY ONE WHO WON’T STEAL MY SPECIAL ATTACKS!”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but I gave him another happy bark anyway. He beamed even harder, letting out another loud “nyeh heh heh”, and took off again, with long, decisive steps, towards the car park. When we arrived, Papyrus came to an abrupt halt in front of a sleek, bright red convertible, where a small, white dog was sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“YOU!! HAVE BEEN HERE!! ALL THIS TIME?!?!”

Papyrus stamped his foot angrily, while the white dog only wagged his tail and gave a few high-pitched yips. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the dog looked almost smug. The dog seemed to take notice of me and leaned forwards eagerly, barking excitedly and wagging his tail harder. Papyrus stopped fuming, then, and held me out towards the other dog, who proceeded to start sniffing me curiously.

“LOOK!! I HAVE FOUND US ANOTHER FRIEND! SHE’LL BE LIVING WITH US FROM NOW ON, SO BE GOOD, OKAY?”

The little white dog barked again, which Papyrus seemed to take as agreement, if his pleased “nyeh heh heh” was anything to go by. He carefully placed me next to the white dog, and rounded the car to take the driver’s seat. As Papyrus started up the car and drove us out of the dog park, my canine companion had clearly decided that I was sufficiently friend-shaped, as he then did his level best to completely cover me in dog slobber. It reminded me of that time a client had asked me to commune with the spirit of her recently deceased wife, who’d then gone on to nearly drown me in ghostly ectoplasm, because I’d misread the incantation, and caused the spirit to believe I was trying to flirt with her, in front of her widow. Ah, good times...

~~~

By the time Papyrus parked his car in front of a large, two-story house, the sun had well and truly set. Exiting his car, the skeleton monster reached over and plucked me out of my seat, cradling me in his arms once more, while the white dog chose to make his escape, leaping out of his seat and dashing through the small dog flap installed in the front door. Papyrus paid him no mind, and made his way into his home, kicking open the door with one foot and loudly announcing his arrival.

“SANS!!! I’M HOME!! AND I’VE BROUGHT A NEW FRIEND!!”

A skull, rounder than Papyrus’s, peaked out from the couch, grinning widely at us.

“oh really? heh, good for you, bro,” his voice was lower and deeper than the taller skeleton’s, and his eyelights looked around for a second, before zeroing in on me when Papyrus held me out in front of him.

“I FOUND THIS SWEET, LITTLE LADY AT THE DOG PARK. SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO HELP ME LOOK FOR THAT MISCHIEVOUS PUP WHEN HE RAN OFF, SO I’VE OFFERED TO LET HER STAY WITH US, SINCE SHE HAS NOWHERE TO GO.”

I gave a little woof, putting on my best innocent little angel face, but I wasn’t sure how well that translated on my new chihuahua face. I hoped I wasn’t grimacing like some demented gremlin. But Sans’s grin widened and his eye sockets crinkled at the edges, as he stared at Papyrus’s proud smile.

“that sure was kind of ya, pap. you’re so cool,” his tone was sincere and there was genuine affection in both his expression and his voice. It was clear to me that these two (brothers, right?) were very close. Papyrus did his “nyeh heh heh” laugh again, which I had to admit was really starting to grow on me, before lowering me to the floor, giving me one last head pat, then striding off to an adjacent room. Not wanting to be left alone with a stranger, I ran after him, following him into what I could only assume was the kitchen.

What proceeded was the most intense cooking session I’d ever borne witness to. Papyrus was a very passionate individual, that much was abundantly clear, and he seemed to put his all into everything he did, at least when it pertained to cooking. Ingredients were tossed around like he was launching attacks, and he never stayed in one spot for too long, hopping from one place to another, as if he was dancing to a tune only he could hear.

He was definitely enjoying himself, if his loud laughing and gleeful grin were anything to go by, and his enthusiasm was infectious. I couldn’t help cheering him on, in my own doggy way, and he seemed to take it positively, his movements becoming more frenzied as I barked and howled. He even started to add dramatic flourishes whenever possible, and shot me the occasional wink, as I wagged my tail like never before. When I started spinning around, barking madly, no longer able to contain my energy, Papyrus laughed even harder, the sound filling the room and probably the entire house.

The sound of deep, rumbling laughter caught my attention, and I spun around towards it. Sans was leaning against the door frame, bright eyelights taking in the scene with obvious delight.

“you guys seem to be havin’ a lotta fun in here,” his voice was full of amusement at our antics, fondness clear in his expression as he gazed at the two of us. Papyrus turned to face his brother, striking a pose with his hands on his hipbones and his long, red scarf fluttering behind him, despite the lack of a breeze.

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH!! INDEED WE ARE!! I’M GLAD TO HAVE FOUND A FELLOW COOKING ENTHUSIAST!! IT IS SO WONDERFUL TO HAVE SUCH AN APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE FOR ONCE!!”

A beep went off, and Papyrus beamed.

“AND YOU ARE RIGHT ON TIME, BROTHER! DINNER IS READY!”

And in a flurry of movement, Papyrus plated up two heaping helpings of mouthwatering spaghetti. That would explain why both he and his entire house smelled so strongly of the pasta dish. It was plainly obvious that it was a favourite of his. He then set both plates on the table in the nearby dining room, before filling up two small bowls with dog food. When he placed the bowls on the floor, the fluffy white dog seemed to materialise out of thin air, given how suddenly he appeared, and launched himself at the nearest bowl, tucking into the dog food with gusto. Meanwhile, I could only eye the dog food with distaste. That was another thing that hadn’t transferred over to my new form: I didn’t have the same tastes as a real dog.

With only one option left, I pattered over to Papyrus and started pawing at his leg, whimpering as sadly as I could manage. When he looked down at me, I willed my eyes to widen into irresistibly adorable puppy dog eyes (much easier in my current body). Feed me , I tried to convey to him, I’m naught but a poor, hungry little pupper, begging for some scraps . He seemed to get the message, his skull taking on a look of pity.

“HAS THE DELECTABLE SMELL OF MY SPAGHETTI ROBBED YOU OF YOUR APPETITE FOR LESSER FOODS?” at my answering * bork! *, he nodded his skull gravely. “IT’S UNDERSTANDABLE. I SHOULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS! I’M SORRY, MY LITTLE LADY, FOR NOT NOTICING SOONER! HERE!! TAKE MY PLATE! THERE’S PLENTY LEFT, SO EAT ALL YOU LIKE! AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME. I SHALL GET MYSELF ANOTHER PLATE!”

He deposited his plate in front of me, and I wasted no time in digging in. Despite the show he’d made of cooking it, and all of his exaggerated actions, the spaghetti was surprisingly delicious. Papyrus clearly knew what he was doing in the kitchen and was a more masterful chef than he initially seemed. I resolved to have more faith in him in the future, he definitely deserved it.

When we’d all finished eating (my portion of dog food having been devoured by the other dog, much to Papyrus’s dismay), Sans retired to his bedroom, bidding his brother goodnight and yawning widely, while the white dog curled up in his basket in the living room. Papyrus made me a little nest of blankets and pillows, promising to get me my own dog bed in the morning. With one last, full body pet and a few extra ear scritches, he too retreated to his bedroom on the upper floor, turning off all the lights as he went.

With the room now plunged into total darkness, I tried to make myself as comfortable as possible within my temporary bed, and closed my eyes. Today had taken many, very unexpected turns, but for every dark cloud, there was a silver lining, and mine was meeting Papyrus. I’d known him less than a day, but he’d already found his way into my heart and had built himself a permanent home there, I was sure of it. He was so kind to me, despite the less-than-ideal way I’d introduced myself, and had a high-spirited magnetism that I couldn’t take my eyes off. Something about him drew me inexorably to him, and being a witch, I knew not to ignore fate when she showed her hand so clearly. This skeleton monster was the one who would break my spell and return me to my true form, I was certain of that.

As sleep was beginning to claim me, a sudden sound snapped me right back to full consciousness. Now fully alert, I scanned my surroundings for the source of the noise, and spied two yellow, luminescent eyes by the open window, glowing like floating lanterns in the darkness. I almost yelped in alarm, before I realised that I recognised those eyes. Midnight! You’ve come back to me!

I shot up and ran towards him, as he silently alighted on the floor. The black cat gave me a few sniffs, before bumping his nose against mine in greeting, blinking slowly at me. If my eyes could tear up, they would’ve, given how relieved I was at being reunited with my beloved familiar. Things really were looking up, after all!

But then the white dog apparently noticed our new visitor, and trotted over. The two animals seemed to take an instant liking to each other, sniffing each other thoroughly and circling each other like two excited children playing together. The two then pranced off, beginning an impromptu game of tag and proceeding to completely ignore my presence.

I stared in disbelief at my traitorous familiar, who had once again abandoned me, to go play with a stupid dog . I growled at him. You asshole! How dare you forsake me! Again! See if I give you any more catnip from now on! I swore that, as soon as I returned to human form, the first thing I would do was use a laser pointer to make that jerk run head-first into a wall...

Eventually, the racket from the animals’ playtime, and my aggrieved wails, woke up Papyrus, who stomped down the stairs, turning the lights on, and glaring at us with his arms crossed.

“COME NOW, I KNOW WE’VE ALL HAD AN EXCITING DAY, BUT-” he cut himself off as he spotted the black cat amongst us. Blinking, he approached the intruder and knelt down beside him. “OH HELLO THERE! WELCOME TO SCENIC OUR HOUSE! I’M NOT USED TO HAVING VISITORS OVER AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT, BUT YOU SEEM TO BE A FRIEND OF MY ANNOYING DOG, SO YOU’RE VERY WELCOME HERE, OF COURSE!”

I whined my complaint at the fact that Midnight was supposed to be my friend, not the dog’s. Papyrus reached out towards my cat and picked him up, scrutinising him carefully. He peered closely at Midnight’s collar and squinted his eye sockets at the tag.

“OH! SO YOUR NAME IS MIDNIGHT! WELL THEN, MR. MIDNIGHT, YOU’RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO STAY HERE FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIKE! ANY FRIEND OF MY PET’S IS A FRIEND OF MINE!”

I grumbled to myself, as Papyrus put my cat back down, and barked angrily when Middy once more ignored me in favour of pouncing on that white dog, tackling him to the floor and proceeding to wrestle with him. Papyrus beamed at their playful tussle, but I turned away, padding over to the corner of the room, facing the wall, and started howling my misery for all the world to hear. I was distraught , and godamitall I was gonna express that!

I abruptly stopped crying when I was lifted unceremoniously into the air, and pressed into hard bones. It took me a moment to realise what had happened, but once I’d processed the fact that Papyrus was hugging me, I calmed down against my will. The tall skeleton’s embrace was tight enough that I could feel his attempt to comfort me, but he didn’t squeeze me so tightly that it hurt. Papyrus had always made sure to never hurt me, no matter what.

“AWWW... POOR GIRL... YOU MUST HAVE FELT SO LONELY, SEEING THE OTHER TWO PLAYING TOGETHER, WITHOUT YOU,” his voice was softer than I thought it capable of, and it helped soothe the sting I felt at my familiar preferring another’s company over mine. “BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU THREE CAN’T STILL ALL BE FRIENDS! IT’S ALWAYS MORE FUN TO HAVE MORE FRIENDS!”

But something in my expression must have clued him in to how little his words appeased me. He sighed, then offered me a gentle, reassuring smile.

“IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM, THEN THAT’S OKAY TOO!! NOT EVERYONE CAN OR SHOULD BE FRIENDS, AND YOU SHOULD NEVER FORCE YOURSELF TO LIKE SOMEONE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!!” then his expression brightened. “AND NO MATTER WHAT, I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR GOOD FRIEND!! YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO BE THE VERY BESTEST OF BEST FRIENDS!! AND THE VERY COOLEST OF COOL DUDES!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

I couldn’t have stopped my tail from wagging if my life depended on it. This guy never failed to lift my spirits. At my joyful yipping and yapping, Papyrus pet my head, and then, instead of putting me back down, he carried me in his arms up the stairs, flicking off the lights, and entered the first room we came across.

My eyes could barely make anything out in the darkness, but as we came closer, I could see that his bed was shaped like a racing car. It felt incredibly fitting. Papyrus lied down on his bed, placing me on his sternum, and lifted his blanket up to cover us up to my neck. With both of us tucked into his bed, the monster rested one large, skeletal hand on my back, and I relaxed under its comforting weight.

“MY MISCHIEVOUS DOG SOMETIMES SNEAKS INTO MY BED WHILE I’M RESTING, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN I SHOO HIM OUT. HIS PAWS ARE SO COLD! IT’S AWFUL!!” his frown softened into a smile as the hand on my back started stroking me, up and down, very gently. “BUT NOT YOU. YOU’RE VERY WARM, AREN’T YOU? SOFT AND WARM AND CUDDLY. MY GOOD GIRL.”

As his sweet words of praise drifted into my ears, I closed my tired eyes and snuggled closer to Papyrus. Below me, I could feel a gentle thrumming, soft pulses of warmth and magic, which made something in my chest, something my witch training had taught me was my soul, answer back with its own light humming. It was these tender feelings which followed me into my dreams that night.

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This was supposed to be a oneshot, but it expanded without my consent, and I've had to concede to making it a twoshot. I pray it doesn't grow any more than that, because I really don't want to make this any longer than it needs to be. It's just supposed to be a short, silly, occasionally sweet, fic. Not some massive project I don't have the energy for. Next (and hopefully last) chapter should be out within a week, unless real life screws me over (again), and then I'm going to hibernate for a while and not even think about writing for the next few centuries. I can't wait （；´д｀）ゞ