#rdau

(Immediately following the timeline of Respawn Denied’s Epilogue)

Martyn is the King’s hand in a country at war. Or at least they were at war? It’s kind of unclear at this point, what with the whole “enemy kings disappearing seemingly overnight and getting replaced by a band of peasants” thing. But that’s not Martyn’s problem right now. His problem is the end crystal that’s supposed to hold the key to destroying their enemies’ immortality. That he just stole.

First off, the crews and the tone of DitD and the Red Dwarf AU are different, and have to be evaluated as such.

In Dirges, we have a more serious tone, with characters who run on semi-realistic rules:

Jimmy: our interim sheriff, who has killed one person on screen, but has honed his skills to the point where he could actually do damage and or incapacitate his enemies.

Scar: our actual sheriff, who out-plays the devil on a regular basis, is also handy with a gun or an improvised weapon. Arguably, Scar's the weakest link in the Dirges crew when it comes to fighting, but that's because his skill is found in talking his way out of situations. If he's fighting, something's gone wrong. However, that doesn't mean he can't do it when push comes to shove.

Tango: a bandit with a kill count in the triple digits and the intelligence to match. Give the man a thimble filled with nitroglycerin and five minutes and the entire spaceship is doomed.

Pearl: she's a crackshot and a healer, and the healing alone gives the Dirges crew an edge.

Grian: now, come on, darling. Grian has an eldritch entity inside of him instead of half of his soul. Be so serious right now, would any of the Dwarfer crew actually be able to hold their own against Grian and Del Sombra? No. No they would not.

As for the crew of the mining ship Red Dwarf, they run on looney tunes rules:

Scar: our best fighter, by virtue of being both competent with a bazookoid and being the only one who's ever been in a bar brawl, probably.

Grian: he's... a hologram. Up until the point where he gets a hard light drive for his light bee, he physically can't touch anything, and after that he's more concerned with survival than fighting or panache. His signature move is the "run away."

Etho: our beloved Etho is a mechanoid who physically cannot do harm to humans, unless it's in pursuit of a bit or because said humans would be in greater harm if he didn't intervene (please see, looney tunes rules). His two great loves are interior decorating and shopping. The only person he could probably fight in the Dirges crew is Grian, on the technicality that he might not be entirely human, anymore.

Mumbo: Mumbo, arguably, is the one who can do the most damage, given he's the one in charge of the ship. As the program that runs things, he can, in theory, open airlocks, cut off power/oxygen to specific areas of the ship, etc.

Jimmy: could probably do some damage in a fight, certainly has the chutzpah for it, but isn't trained in any way shape or form. Make him angry and he's going to be a threat, if not a large one.

Scott: for the same reason as Jimmy, could probably do some distinct damage, maybe has an edge because he's spent his entire life with just Jimmy and the now-dead Xisuma for company, and that has probably given him a deep-seated sense of rage that he would love to express.

Now, these are the baseline rules, but the actual question is: whose territory are they fighting on?

If they're in Del Sombra, the Dwarfers get their shit rocked in five seconds flat if they start anything. However, if the Dirges crew end up on the Red Dwarf, they'd probably be disoriented enough to be on the back foot by virtue of being literally in space.

We also have to take into account the rules of these rules. The rules of the Dirges universe are that it's a serious period piece with lovecraftian elements, meaning that there is a lot less in the way of opportunities for the Dwarfers to stumble their way into solutions. Now, would the Dirges crew, on their own territory, actually attack the Dwarfers? I highly doubt it. They'd be baffled, but it would be relatively easy for them to suss out the Dwarfer's motives and whether or not they meant any ill to the Dirges crew.

I said it above, but the Red Dwarf AU universe, on the other hand, runs on Roger Rabbit/Looney Tunes rules. If it's funny, they can do anything, and at the end of the day, whether or not they win, they escape, even if by the skin of their teeth. Meeting the Dirges crew would be par for the course, even if they'd be baffled by them. They'd assume that there was a portal to another dimension somewhere that they needed to lock onto to kick them back home. Dwarfer Grian would blame Griande, Dwarfer Scar would be certain that Dirges!Scar was Ace in disguise doing this as some sort of test.

Meeting them wouldn't end up in a "Better Dead than Smeg" situation, but in a fight, they'd be up against the Dirges crew being naturally competent ("why don't we ever meet anyone who can shoot straight" vs "Jimmy and Scar have spent countless hours honing that particular skill"). By RDAU rules, the Dirges Crew would get sent home just before things went from "bad" to "critical" and the next adventure the Dwarfers went on would be a salvage mission thanks to the damage done by the Dirges crew.

Based on this evaluation, it sounds a lot like the answer is not that the Dirges crew would win, but I leave you with this clip from the actual Red Dwarf show as proof that I'm right: