#razoolio

I AM NOT-

*They stop and clear their throat, glaring down at the phone and continuing in a whisper.

raz gave teya fuckin 12 points you bitch.

sunnie can smell it and wonders why it smells rotten in here.

senna finished meditating hours ago and went around presti'ing the house. teya got rid of 4 points with her potions which isnt much. 'i think something died in the house.' sunnie you oblivious dumbass.

senna stomps over and tells him go help with breakfast and she will help teya. hes so scared of her hes like 11 ft tall lol. wheatley whispers to zen if they should tell him lol. zen says he can figure it out himself. wheatley says hes gonna help heal teya.

senna knocks and walks in with wheatley. senna and wheatley go about healing her. together shes at 0 points, but did use half her potions. senna uses presti to clean. wheatley pats teya on the head.

parsley finally wakes up fully. he glares at sunnie for some reason lol. sunnie is confused lol. parsley grumbles and sips some coffee and doesnt say anything.

wheatley comes out and looks at sunnie, then at parsley. zen is setting up plates! senna takes some plates and thanks him for helping. teya says thats why hes their favorite and he goes 'i am?!' wheatley helps parsley stare lol.

senna also helps stare lol. 'teya your friends are being weird!' 'could be worse!' parsley says they could try to kill him cause thats worse. wheatley offers to do that. sunnie starts shifting toward his bedroom. he slaps his head on the doorframe and wheatley and parsley start laughing and calling him a pussy. wheatley also calls him that wtf.

zen scolds them and parsley says this is teyas house so its fine. senna warns him his son might learn from him. teya uses message on sunnie that they wont hurt him unless she says so, so get tf out here. senna jokingly offers to melt the door. SP is now screaming pussy oh no.

SUNNIE RAN OUT THE WINDOW! senna goes after him! we need the dr appointment info! SP asks parsley what a pussy is oh no. he says its another word for coward. wheatley chases SP around cause he sees a star shaped leaf.

senna keeps hearing rustling leaves and its pissing her off. she pokes a weird branch with her rapier. sunnie falls to the ground, invisible. senna helps him up and reassures him were not gonna hurt him. she says teya needs as much support as possible, and that includes him.

he says the appointment is late noon when it starts getting dark. he doesnt like being seen hmm. we have some time. in the distance wheatley is yelling at SP to slow down. senna is sad he thinks shes scary and goes back to breakfast.

theres a faint aura from her bag! the secret orb from earlier in the campaign! its glowing! senna tells sunnie to hurry ahead in case he could get hurt! she picks up the orb and she feels a fiery heat through her entire body! it stops suddenly. MORE SECRET DMS! and also more secret stuff dont worry shhh

wheatley catches SP! sunnie says hes hiding and heads back home. wheatley follows him cause hes lost. sunnie talks about having never met robots before. wheatley talks about that he a support unit war forged. sunnie is confused how wheatley made a child. wheatley says hes the first to do that. wheatley lets sunnie name what new type SP is. S-Type oh no their friends. Wheatley says its impressive he can write stories. sunnie tries to sell him the fuckin book and wheatley says he cant read common well so he reads to him. regrets, eh wheatley?

they get back home and SP starts going off about space. wheatley stops him cause they gotta get ready for the appointment. wheatley speed walks inside lol. sunnie asks android where everyone went. senna shows up as well, sees everyone is gone, and goes to town.

zen and parsley and teya and are in town! bookshop! smearc! hes just working at the counter. parsley tried to wander off and teya grabbed him to fast lol. she introduces parsley and zen to smearc. he says its been a while since hes seen a warforged. he wonders if something big is gonna happen soon. he says he saw lots in 1 place before he moved here. smerc shakes all of zens hands lol. parsley shakes too.

smerc mentions hes known teya since she was little. mentions how sunnie hits his head on the doorframe a lot. parsley asks what teya was like as a kid. smerc says she loved to read and he gave her books on necromancy when she got older. he says teya once tried to cast a spell until she passed out from exhaustion.

smerc asks about zen and parsley! parsley avoids the question lol. zen says he cannot tell as it is a secret. parsley says zen is in a cult. zen says its a normal religion. (k realizes she cant roast him in sylvain lol) parsley asks for a dictionary lol. teya gets it for him. zen disagrees and says theres many followers and his god is very real.

teya asks zen to put her in contact with god. zen says thats not wise cause smerc is here. teya says you can totally trust her and she has an actual question for robot god. zen says her god is trusting the CHAMPIONS to save the world. Not party tricks. Smerc asks if teya got involved with a cult lol. teya says maybe a little. and that robot god could use more followers. zen whispers that RG doesnt like organic followers. parsley asks wtf that means. zen says it could change he just doesnt want any right now.

zen says he will ask, but he may not answer. aha hes here! teya replies in giant secretively. smerc isnt surprised that a warforged can do that. god responds in giant and leaves. teya hides the question from smerc lol. something about a game <.< hmmmmm smerc doesnt believe anything xD

parsley points out sunnies book on the shelf. teya mumbles in sylvain that if parsley buys the book she will kill him. parsley snorts and says he would never spend money on it, theres copies at her house. parsley says he hates sunnie and teya agrees.

they say bye and leave. parsley winks over his shoulder and smerc just laughs. teya asks if parsley needs to do anything. they head back home. android begs teya to make them stop talking. sunnie wont shut up. wheatley and SP are so dead inside. unable to stop.

parsley stares at sunnie and tells him to stfu! hes surprised and asks him to knock next time! parsley says no one cares. sunnie says hes very successful. wheatley immediately begs parsley if they learned anything, so he can avoid sunnie. parsley says they went to a bookshop. android grumbles he wouldve killed him if he wasnt related to teya. teya says it doesnt matter. 'you giving me the go ahead?' wheatley says 'no! hes my....'friend'.'

teya and parsley are fucking mortified that wheatley and sunnie are...friends. oh no. 'i mean i wanna be friends with android.' sunnie tries to fuckin sell the book to them goddamn. 'this is why tori left. shes alive btw.'

sunnie loses his energy. wheatley sighs and asks how much the book is. teya snaps not to charge him so he offers it for free. wheatley says he will pay. parsley threatens if he pays for that book. sunnie fuckin raises the price. wheatley refuses the raised price and offers the base price. sunnie fuckin signs it. wheatley asks zen if god can teach him how to read better. god agrees and zen takes his hand. god fuckin downloads common into his head lol. an immense brief connection to thousands of warforged. he sends a brief connection of platonic love to them before hes disconnected.

wheatley has to sit down for a sec. sunnie asks if hes ok. wheatley is so happy and worried theres so many of his people. teya is dumbfounded that wheatley learned common just to read the book. wheatley hugs sunnie dear god.

senna is wondering around town since she didnt meet up damn. she finds a small hut that wasnt there before on the edge of town. she goes toward it and its a little decayed but still nice. scarecrows around it but no crops? movement in the home with lights on.

she examines the scarecrows, but not much straw. she checks why there might be no crops. the plants nearby are pretty dead. she checks for anything magical. strong necrotic energy in the air. she turns to leave and the fuckin scarecrows are looking at her. she has a hand on her weapon and loudly says she will be here with her friend later for her friends appointments, and she isnt an enemy.

senna makes it back finally. shes like 'oh when did you get back? and is wheatley ok?' zen says hes having a moment. 'i guess i missed something important.' senna says she found teyas doc and its spooky. wheatley is clinging to parsley lol. teya says that sounds about right.

senna asks what she missed. teya says he learned how to read. 'he couldnt read before?' 'he wanted to read sunnies book.' sunnie tries to sell senna the book oh no. senna says his sales pitch needs some work and they should focus on teyas appointment. senna says shes gonna sit in the woods so yell when its time. parsley also gets released cause he wants to go into the woods.

zen says wheatley mustve felt the connection. wheatley was just overwhelmed after being alone for so long. and maybe embarrassed himself. zen thinks it was cute and android doesnt wanna admit he liked it lol. wheatley apologizes to android for overstepping. he grumbles it doesnt matter. teya comments the fey pact didnt apply to wheatley. android calls teya a bitch for revealing that.

sunnie says hes going to support teya as much as he can. teya is like 'uh where did that come from?' sunnie says shes his sister so of course he wants to support her. gonna confront the doc. wheatley gonna use his sending stone for lil bro. teya realizes shes having a hard time breathing (2 points). lil bro responds lol its cute.

as senna is meditating something happens its SECRET goddamn. she shakes her head hard and gets up. the others found parsley. they eventually find senna pacing. teya tries to ask if shes ok but shes very lost in thought. senna notices her and apologizes for not noticing. says she has a headache.

following teya to the doc! senna side eyes the scarecrows. it waves to teya but stops if anyone else tries to look. sunnie knocks for the doc. doc cirmes. its a tall man in a nice hat and plaque doctors mask. he wasnt expecting the rest of us and doesnt like uninvited guests but allows it. zen and android wait outside.

clean doctors home. a skeleton and organs in jars. has teya sits on a cushioned table. he uses a stethescope on teya. typical doc stuff. teya asks if theres any point. they both know shes dead. he pauses. 'so you know. then why come here.' 'because what you did has stopped working.' he will try to fix it if she lets him finish the appointment. senna mumbles to parsley in elvish that hes a fuckin crook.

he yells that the spell is gone! a spell to preserve her but its just gone and demands to what happaned. wheatley perks up and looks outside. theres more scarecrows. teya and senna both know why its gone! the anti magic field from spingledorf. senna says from the fish villiage. he says itll take so much more to fix. parsley yells at him to hurry and fix it.

he says he doesnt have the resources! senna asks what he needs. he says her necromatic energy is much higher and will be harder to make a new spell on her. he slams the table and demands to know how she got so strong. senna sees him slam his hands and reaches for her weapon. he steps back and wonders if his theories were correct.

teya calls him out. senna in elvish mumbles shes gonna hit him. parsley says a robot god gave them power. teya says their on a quest from a robot god. wheatley says they gotta get stronger. senna says the god wont wanna talk to him. wheatley straight up says its his god.

doc talks about a war of gods and that the gods are dead and few remain. wheatley calls for zen to help. zen says its a need to know basis. doc says evil gods make it worse for teya. wheatley says hes neutral at best. he says if we know the gods intentions and senna says 'do we know yours?' he says to not interrupt him and she says to fix her friend.

senna asks again for what components he needs. he says its useless cause she knows now. wheatley asks if its enough for her to pay. he says its beyond money and shes fine. teya is heartbroken being called a waste of resources.

parsley grabs him and screams in his face. "you are going to help our friend! and your not gonna call her a waste again!" he says teya is her greatest triumph. freak. he says her body was bad when she was brought in at first.

Senna grabs him and says teya is rotting faster every day. hes like so? she yells that she wants the flesh! he yells to not interrupt him. he talks about sunnie carrying her corpse. he called it a perfect opportunity. he was surprised he could even rez her. he says she couldnt have wanted anything she was dead. teya yells its still her choice and she has to hide her appearance.

he demands she hand back the crystal if she doesnt care about her life. he says it wont hurt. senna looks at her sadly. wheatley says he would miss her. sunnie looks at teya sadly and goes 'teya?'

teya says she has a job to do. 'so thats all thats keeping you alive?' 'better than nothing isnt it?' 'and when the jobs done?' 'figure that out. find another way to destroy this thing.' senna looks so fucking sad. doc says teya is wasting her life by pitying herself. teya says shes choosing 1 day at a time. 'very well.' if she changes her mind she knows where to find him every year.

teya asks him to remove his mask. 'humor me. you lied to me for 6 years.' the knowledge has only brought her pain. senna and parsley team up to grab him and remove the mask. missed. senna says to let teya see her face. teya tells sunnie to support her now. sunnie asks doc to let her. sunnie BOLTS AT THE DOC! doc snaps his fingers and sunnie disappears! he claims sunnie is safe.

teyas like fuck this im gonna get his ass and uses firebolt. zen says the scarecrows are moving and surrounding the house. senna avoided being cursed lol. he pulls out a bunch of gems and crushes them and summons bunch of weapons. ROLL INITIATIVE!

he summons a putrid undead spirit and an aberation. aberation wisdom save throws! wheatley and parsley feel madness against their minds and take psychic damage just being near it. it attacks senna! hits. bitch. undead attacks! being near it is a con sav. teya gets poisoned. it attacks teya! hits. con save for teya and she fails and gets paralyzed. fuck.

wheatley casts aura of vitality. cool. SP uses repair action on wheatley.

parsley enters rage and has wild magic. we get a plus 1 to ac thanks parsley. he then throws the handaxe at the doc. hits. attacks putrid. missed.

senna uses ray of frost and he fuckin eats it? his staff is cold now. senna casts spirit guardians and attacks putrid! hits!

teya turned skipped F.

docs turn the fucker. he points at senna and casts finger of death the fucker. somehow i passed but still take half damage. fucker senna is dying. THEN shroud damage senna is dying. THEN HE CASTS BLIGHT ON SENNA. half damage fucker. im at 10 and started at 81. wtf who is this fucker. he tells us to gtfo. wheatley says to let sunnie go and we will leave. he agrees and brings sunnie back. guys senna had 20 ac and fucking got her shit kicked in.

wheatley drags sunnie out. senna doesnt care how badly hurt she is she scoops up teya and carries her out. parsley is pissed but walks out.

the scarecrows are destroyed from the robots but there was also more but they stopped. teyas paralizes wears off. parsley tosses his bag to teya and says theres healing potions. teya has a hard time breathing and when she coughs theres a dust cloud. wheatley casts aura of healing on teya.

senna casts mass heal wounds on everyone. teya force feeds senna potions from parsley. wheatley heals senna. senna tells them to focus on healing themselves. android asks wtf happaned. senna says its her fault. senna says he chose to let them live. senna gives android permission to yell at her and parsley keeps trying to tell her to shut up and she is ignoring him. wheatley says he was fucking terrified and hugs teya.

senna says to finish this convo somewhere else. the scarecrows are staring. theres loud thunder and the house is gone. teya keeps coughing up smoke. wheatley doesnt get infected says raz. wtf.

'that was my last shot' 'shot at what he was a dick?!' senna reminds them of spingledorf. wheatley wonders how tf were gonna beat zorbolt if we couldnt beat this guy. senna says itll be ok and theyll get stronger. senna notices a pair of glowing red eyes and then it disappears. she doesnt have the spoons for this right now.

sunnie walks over and hugs teya and apologizes. teya nods in understanding. teya coughs again. sunnie goes stiff. senna feels for a pulse. hes still alive. senna calls for zen. wheatley is freaking out. zen shines a light in his eye but his pupil doesnt react. hes catatonic wtf.

senna yells at parsley to stfu. sunnie suddenly blinks and snaps out of it. senna says he was just frozen there. hes not hurt or feels any different. parsley says teya has poison breath. 'she coughed and he froze.' teya tries to not cough again and aims it away.

parsley inhales the fucking smoke willingly. the sky turns red. its the mushroom spore shit all over! wheatley looks broken down. sunnie is a very long version slenderman version. teya is a skeleton. senna is a robed figure.

he punches teya. he screams wtf happaned?! this is reality for him he doesnt know anything else. parsley sees the robot wheatley limping towards him. he backs up and snarls for them to stay away. wheatley flinches back, hurt. wheatley clings to teya and sunnie.

parsley sees the robot holding the skeleton. teya is gonna cough! doesnt work on wheatley. zen approaches, looks like a multi armed demon with charp claws. he absorbs the cloud and says their spores. from a mushroom. parsley thinks their gonna eat him or something and runs off.

zen says mushrooms are growing in her lungs. teya thought exploding wouldve cooked them out. their growing throughout her entire body. oh no. zen says it wont affect her cause shes dead. more spores pop off lol. senna says she cant kiss teya if shes full of spores. teya says to find parsley first. senna tries to tell sunnie to stand back but hes back unconscious. teya keeps getting status effects.

EPISODE CROSSOVER!

*...

*That's... That's not impor-

*DESS, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH.

*THANK YOU FOR HANDLING THE CALLS WHILE I WAS IN A MEETING.

*I KNOW YOU FIND THE MECHANICS OF HOW ALL THIS WORKS MORE THAN A LITTLE... BORING.

*AND I KNOW YOU FIND MY MEETINGS... TROUBLING.

*...

*I WILL TAKE OVER THE PHONE DUTIES FOR NOW, I WILL ALSO FIND THAT FILE ON THE STATIC, THIS "PLACE" WHERE WE... ARE, WHEN I GET THE CHANCE.

*As you wish... doctor. Thank you...

*... I believe there is a call here for you.