#razgovor

Reči na ekranu ne bole kao u stvarnosti

Lakše ti je da napišeš nego da izgovoriš. Tu možeš da brišeš, menjaš, štitiš sebe. Ali razgovor uživo nema pauzu. Sve je odmah, sirovo i stvarno. Znaš da je to paradoks: tamo gde je tišina glasnija, reči ponekad bole manje. Poruke su tvoja sigurnost, ali i zamka. Samo hrabrost nosi razgovore do kraja. Nije problem u rečima, već u trenucima između njih. Pre nego što promeniš misao, primeti šta te u njoj boli. Zato sledeći put kad se dvoumiš, seti se koliko hrabrosti nosi glas uživo.

*hands her a slip of paper*

GEN:

*holds out her father’s medallion*

“Don’t sell it, okay? I know it won’t mean much to you, but it will mean a lot to me that you have it.”

*holds it out to Shaw further but when realizing that Shaw won’t take it, puts it into her hand herself*

SHAW:

*she looks at it then looks back at Gen*

“I’m just not wired for this kind of stuff, kid.”

GEN: “I know. I’ve figured you out. It’s not that you don’t have feelings. It’s just like… the volumes turned way down. Like the sound of an old tape. The voices are there, you just have to listen. Bye Shaw.”

SHAW:

*Gen goes to walk off but Shaw stops her and pulls her into an awkward hug that’s a just a little too tight*

GEN:

*smiles*

“You’re hurting me.”

SHAW:

*immediately lets her go and checks to see if she’s fine and then silently hand signals that she can leave*

Episode 5, Season 3 of ‘Person Of Interest’ and we’re getting Shaw backstory. Yes, baby, tell me who you are and why you’re like you are now. I want to know it all.

Emotionally disconnected from childhood trauma or perhaps even since she was born. Very interesting.

So let me guess. Love is going to be the breakthrough.

That’s going to be her arc. Learning to feel deeply again or even learning to feel deeply for the first time.

Oooo I’m excited. Characters like this are so psychologically intriguing for me. And it takes a certain kind of level of acting skill to be able to pull off the dichotomy of showing emotions in a character when they have to be emotionless as that character because it’s as the kid said - it’s not that feelings are not there, they’re just at a frequency you can’t pick up. And you have to really pay attention to the nuances. Subtle body language like in facial expressions. It’s hard to portray somebody like that if not that yourself. This arc will definitely showcase what Shahi can do and I’m very excited to see her range in acting skills because portraying emotionality is just as difficult as portraying physicality for some actors, if not more so because they’re not used to it.

As for Shaw herself - I can see she’s a very protective person for her own personal reasons that she may or may not be very aware of at the present time. So she’s likely going to undergo a lot of self-revelation and self-reflection throughout her arc as a main character if this episode is any indication. She’s going to unravel and it’s not going to be an easy process for her at all.

Similar to Root - she doesn’t have connection or attachment with humanity, so she prefers to either focus all her attention on another species/intelligence rather than involve herself in human relationships. And the thing about that is people like that almost always find a connection in somebody that is the very same even if it’s not healthy to do so because they have to navigate self-development all the while rejecting it.

And that is such an enemies-to-lovers trope. Oh yes. So, I can already see how Shoot is going to play out.

21.07.2023. petak 21:54

Ovih dana je bilo pomalo naprono. Brat i snaha su bili tu, Eso je bio u drugoj kući a babo je prodao auto.Tako da se je Pežo navozao. Ali evo, već par dana je sve po starom. Brat i snaha su otišli u Zavidoviće, Eso se vratio nazad kod svojih u Brčko i sutra ako Bog da vozim oca da kupi drugo auto. Ovu sedmicu nisam trenirao jer sam ozljedio tetivu desnog lakta baš na onom mjestu gdje imam kamenčić. Pored toga, ozljedio sam ili neki mišić kod rebara ili samo rebro, čudna bol pa ne mogu definisati. Dane provodim pišući skripte i trateći vrijeme. Moram se vratiti treningu što prije. 

Taman kad je ljeto počelo, nevrijeme kuca na vrata i evo već par dana je vrijeme nestabilno. Bio mi je Velid. Za pet mjeseci je smršao dvadesetak kila, ima neku bakteriju i već neko vrijeme pije trojnu terapiju. Kaže da se dobro osjeća ali je vidljivo da je poprilično oslabio. Sutra će mi ako Bog da doći Alžirac pa će i on ostati koju noć. 

Sinoć sam igrom slučaja upoznao jednog čovjeka. Zove se Andrija i 20 godina je stariji od mene, oženjen je i ima troje djece. Dok sam pričao nešto prijatelju, prekinuo me i pitao da li bih nekad mogao njegovoj ćerkici pričati bajke. Na prvu mi je to bilo poprilično čudno ali nakon par minuta sam shvatio da samo želi s nekim da razgovara. Kako je naš razgovor polako tekao, on se sve više otvarao. Pričali smo o raznim temama i kada je pričao o svojoj porodici, oči su mu bile pune suza. Iskren je i dobronamjeran čovjek i molim Allaha dž.š. da mu se smiluje i da ga na pravi put uputi. 

Sad je vrijeme upisa u srednju i faks i čuo sam se s dosta učenika. Da im Allah swt pomogne u daljnjem školovanju te da učini da postanu što bolji ljudi i što bolji vjernici te da budu korisni zajednici. 

Nedavno sam ponovo počeo sanjati nakon dužeg vremena. Napolju sijeva, grmi te pada kiša i večeras će biti ugodno spavati ako Bog da. 

Učinilo mi se da sam danas vidio profesora Hüseyina kad sam krenuo na džumu i izgleda da je to fakat bio on, vidio sam na fejzbuku da je stigao u Bihać.

Ili se meni čini ili je ove godine jako puno ljudi preselilo, više nego inače mislim, što starih što mladih. Sedmi je mjesec i do sad sam klanjao desetak dženaza. To mi je nedavno naumpalo a Allah najbolje zna.