#raw emotion

[TW- anxiety,depression,emotional distress]

One moment I'm happy

The very next moment-

The dark clouds engulf me

So much darkness

No way out.

I watched this series with mild interest, finally got around to season 2 and then they hit me with this mother fucking scene in the last 5 minutes.

I was ugly crying. Utterly destroyed. A puddle of raw emotional sewage. And as a casual fucking viewer! I can’t imagine how the die-hards felt. 🖤

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Why do I keep reopening

the wound

you left behind?

A year and seven months…

Yet somehow,

every time I close my eyes,

you’re still walking away.

Time says you’ve been gone.

My heart says

it happened yesterday.

They call this healing.

Healing?

No…

These aren’t healing stages.

They’re burning stages.

Torching stages.

Each one strips away another piece of me,

another dream,

another reason to believe

I’ll ever be whole again.

They don’t stitch me back together.

They pull me apart

one thread at a time.

And somewhere along the way,

I lost something

I never thought I could.

I lost my love for love.

There was a time

when I believed in it.

I loved the idea of finding my person.

I loved imagining forever.

I loved loving.

All I ever wanted

was someone to choose me

the way I chose them.

To pour every ounce of love

I carried inside me

into one soul.

But somewhere between your goodbye

and all these lonely nights…

that part of me died.

Now,

I don’t long for love anymore.

I don’t wait for it.

I don’t search for it.

I don’t even miss it.

I’ve made peace

with walking through this life

on my own.

Not because I think

I’m unworthy of love…

But because the only person

I ever wanted

looked at me one day…

and decided

I wasn’t the one anymore.

That changes something inside you.

It changes everything.

People say,

“You’ll love again.”

Maybe they’re right.

Maybe they’re wrong.

I don’t know.

All I know

is I no longer need that answer.

I’ve stopped asking.

I’ve stopped hoping.

I’ve stopped reaching.

And strangely…

there is peace

inside that silence.

Despite everything…

Despite the hurt…

Despite the pieces of me

that never found their way home…

I still wish you happiness.

I hope you build

the life you always dreamed about.

I hope one day

you hold the family

you used to tell me about.

I hope your heart

finds everything

mine couldn’t keep.

Because loving you

never meant wishing you pain.

Even after all this time…

I could never do that.

So go.

Live the life

you chose.

I’ll live the one

that chose me.

Not with another hand to hold…

but with the quiet acceptance

that some loves

are meant to change you

not stay.

And maybe…

that’s the cruelest part of all.

The love I spent my whole life searching for…

didn’t just leave.

It took

my belief in love

with it.

i mean his face, movements, kneeling, screaming, everything he radiates. that's his title in my head in past videos lol

Deconstructed Visage: Raw Expressionist Acrylic Study

An exploration of visceral distortion and emotional weight through tactile layers of paint.

In this original acrylic portrait, the traditional boundaries of the human face are broken down.

Using a high-contrast palette of stark white, deep reds, and pale blues against a solid black void, the piece emphasizes the intensity of the wide eyes and exposed teeth.