#rathorror

Telehealth 

“Hi, this is Erin with Farland’s Outreach, please don’t think you are in any kind of trouble. Darcy was not supposed to have gone out there, in fact, he was acting against orders…”

Text message: “Can you fix him?” 

(laughs) “None of us are fixable.” 

Text message: “He died?”  

“Heaven’s no. He was overdue for inoculation, the parasite you launched at his head can be used to construct a rostral filter. We’re making him into a proper Envoy! Please tell us if you’re interested in the full works yourself so I can arrange for a consultation. In the meantime, we’ll be sending you a hat and mask so you can see how you look in them. Any more questions?” 

Text message: “What the hell is wrong with me?” 

“You are (papers shuffle) not the worst kind of afflicted, seems you get to keep most of your memories after stabilizing - ”

Text message: “I woke up with my rat snake, Charlie, imbedded in my face, like he melted into it. To say sane, I told myself I was high on something, even though I’ve never been high. I wanted to just lie there and wait for whatever it was to be over but got so thirsty I went to the kitchen for water. A rat jumped out of the mug cabinet and - joined the snake. After that, it got worse, I couldn’t breath through my nose at all.” 

“Couldn’t? That’s past tense. So you’re feeling better?” 

Text message: “The rat has nostrils in it’s shoulders now. I can breath but everything smells different.”

(audible sob over the line)

Text message: “Is this going to keep happening?”

“No, no, no, you see, the snake must have eaten a commandant of the king. The germs in this particular rat type may have compelled the snake to seek a human host, but its ability to form an acolyte could have been impaired by the fact snakes have very different anatomies than rats. The hive sensed this and merely tried again.” 

Text message: “But there’s another rat on my arm.” 

“That’s just so you can grow new parasites, like the one you launched at Darcy in self-defense. Know that the condition of new commandants can be used to access your general wellness. Ask us for more rations if your attack rats seem underweight. In short, don’t trouble yourself thinking other animals or people will adhere to you. This is strictly a rat thing with the snake included by accident. The process is complete and will not cause further mutation. Now, what exactly were you feeding Charlie?” 

Text message: “ - frozen rats in the outdoor freezer, but something’s got into it, chewed clean through it, hollowed it out and made a nest.”

We heard the front door open and two sets of footsteps cross the almost imperceptibly creaking floors. Pricking up all of our ears, we listened to the voices.  

“Talk to your parents later if you’d like a pet, for now let’s not be keeping rats around.” “They said you’d be a friend but you’re too much like a grown-up. I mean, we could have kept it for a little while.” “Be glad I just tossed it over the fence. You don’t want to know what those things get up to.” “Yes I do!” “You’ll wet the bed if I told you.”

“I’ve never been scared!” “Your Daddy says you’re scared all the time.” “No I’m not, I, just like to pretend I’m scared.” “Why would you do that?” 

There was a long pause during which the ancient mechanism of the re-stuffed, re-upholstered recliner in the living room groaned under a small form nonetheless choosing to forcefully leap upon it. “I’m - just lonely sometimes.” 

“Lonely means you were scared!” “No! Lonely is different!” “They’re basically the same thing. Look, if you want to know what happened to Darcy, shut up and let me tell the story.” 

We raised our whiskers as though they too, could detect sound. The irregular bumps of the house and more distant, ambient sounds of the neighborhood were soothing but rarely gave way to more meaningful information. 

“Darcy was moving into that old house by the school. He was cleaning it out, fixing it up, went into the crawl space and met a Rat King.” “What’s that?” “It’s a giant rat with like 20 heads, rolls around at night like a tumble weed looking for it’s last and most important head - yours!” “And why does it do that?” 

“People are smart, much smarter than rats on average. With a person’s brain, the King of the rats is wise enough to rule.” “So what happened to Darcy?” “The ball of rats exploded. One of the rats hit his face so hard it got stuck there - reshaped his skull into a rat head for the rest of his life.” “Did he die?” “No one knows where he went. They say he was looking for survivors during the last quarantine and found this woman being attacked by rats. Too scared of rats after what happened, he just left her there, and ran off into woods, screaming like a maniac. When they found the woman later, her head was gone! Never been recovered!” 

“Do you think he was ashamed? Of letting the rats get the woman, I mean?” “I think he was scared, I would be too, especially since they found that headless woman in this very - part of town.”