My perfect thick idiot son, Calvin, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life except today when I let him climb my young redbud tree and he went to the highest branch and wedged himself in the crook of it and wouldn't budge and he's so big I was afraid that he might break the branch so I had to get a stepladder and get him down while the neighborhood jays that come by for peanuts whenever they see me in the yard freaked out and sat screaming on the fence to warn me that there's a snake very near me because I'm obviously too stupid to see it and clearly in mortal peril.

photograph by Les Minipotes

lookie his little blushie mark

twins

[video id: Tippex, the white rat snake with black patterning, going around his water bowl in circles.]

She's in her lane. moisturised. unbothered. wriggling. confident- the very best of a snake

I just love it when he do ' the snake pose'