Hey everyone! I decided to try my hand at TMNT 2012 art, so this is my first time trying to draw these guys but I was pretty happy with how it turned out. The Japanese translates to “Good Kid” on Leo’s side and “Bad Kid” on Raph’s side.
I genuinely love these two’s dynamic, like how each had struggles in this unhealthy family function but some were more hidden than others. For instance, yes Leo was favored by Splinter but he was also given the task of being like a father to his brothers and had to be willing to sacrifice himself at any point. Raph, on the other hand, was clearly known as the rebellious and impulsive brother and had to watch his father give Leo more attention along with the leader role, watching with envy from the outside in and not knowing the full picture—just knowing that he was hurt.
Both harmful roles to play, yet both hard for the other to understand.
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Had this idea for a while, wrote this on the train and caffeine overdose <3
Tags: raphael bg3 x reader (she/ her, human), both crying, not proofread (idk I suck at this)
ENJOY 🫶
Ending?
Showing her his true form hurt.
He hid it so well these past few months, but ofc she won't like him anymore after seeing his horns and wings.
The look on her face is almost unbearable, and raphael only manages a scoff to overplay his feelings even though his mind is racing in finding some rocky words to throw at her he just couldn't find the right ones.
Her eyes water and she puts her hand on his cheek forcing him to look at her.
"I'm sorry"
She hiccups and fat tears roll down her beautiful face.
Confusion is written over his face.
"I'm so sorry for not being safe enough for you to show me your true self what a horrible partner I am"
Her tears roll down her cheeks, staining her perfect red and gold blouse, which she got from her lover.
And for a second raphael is taken aback by reflex he takes her hand and squeezes it.
"No!" He dramatically yells as he feels like he doesn't deserve this sympathy from somebody so pure and honest, "I dont need your pity..." his voice breaks.
He wants to teach her a lesson, how dare a mere mortal have pity on him, but something beneath his consciousness wants her to stay with him and not leave him how he anticipated.
So he guids his other hand to cup her cheek and forces himself to look deep in her eyes as if not looking in her eyes would betray her.
"You have to be angry," he slowly loses his strength in his legs and kneels in front of her, "you have to curse me and and" he's completely lost since he's never experienced this kind of helplessness in his entire life.
Whenever Raphael wanted something, he'd get it. Whenever he guessed or predicted something, he'd be right, but in this moment, he's helpless and so confused.
His own feelings betray him as his eyes tear up, which is so ridiculous to him that since he's a creature of fire, he shouldn't be able to cry and especially not because of his feelings.
But as she gently wraps her arms around him, he can't help but cling at her, and even though his body temperature is too hot for her human body, she holds onto him just as tight.
Both now crying in each other's arms completely overwhelmed with their own emotions, not wanting to let go of each other.
CW: fighting, betting, graphic depictions of violence
For a long time, Raph felt a itch in under his skin. It wasn’t painful or something terminal, just uncomfortable. It was one of those subtle things that drove a person slightly mental, like the hum or leaky pipe no one could find.
Training helped better than anything, especially meditation which just made him pissy and aggravated. It truely started to get better when they went to the surface, when he was able to fight without having to be careful of breaking his siblings bodies. He could be rough and mean, could run for hours and let his knuckles crack and bleed without getting yelled at. He wasn’t told to hold back to be careful, or at least if he managed to sneak away from his brothers.
It wasn’t really a surprise of how it developed, but more so how it did for him specifically. Anyone else, it would make sense, but a Mutant Turtle joining a underground fight club with one of the most egregious betting system he had ever seen? That was surprising.
Raph found it on accident and was only able to get in because of his ninja training. It was a large space under an old apartment complex that was once a two layered carpark that had the middle floor gutted. It had a whole bar built in as well as several rows of seats on the lower floor. The higher floor was for the VIP’s and where the biggest bets were made.
Raph joined on accident, being bumped around until one of the organises spotted him and offered him a round if he removed his weapons.
Not a single question was asked about his physical body, not even when he won the round with a bruise blooming on his jaw that showed it was real.
Raph would like to say it was just the thrill of the fight, of beating the guy bloody as the man twice his size had jeered at him, that it was just how it got his itch to fade and made his body feel bearable. But in reality, it was two very different things.
First was the money handed to him afterwards, two hundred dollars which was the lowest he would ever get because no one though the freak in a animal suit would win, but still more than he had ever had before.
The second was the more powerful of the two, and that was the loud and almost deafening cheers he was rewarded with.
The whole place was screaming when they saw him move, unique skills they had never seen as every other fighter were some kind of boxer or wrestler. Raph brought in more than ninjitsu but also Muay Thai and Ju-jitsu. It was enough to make them love him, insults spit at him with grins and teasing notes that showed they saw him as some kind of mad legend.
Raph quickly became addicted.
He went back there three or four times a week, fighting with cheers and bets thrown at him, people shouting out ‘Red Snapper!’ Over and over despite him not even being a snapper turtle. It had been coined when he bit a guy in his second fight, something totally accepted and that earns him a free beer.
He hated the taste of beer but fuck if it didn’t help with the bruises and wounds he’d get, so he took it every-time.
Red Snapper was as famous as some of the other fighters like ‘Rabid Randy’ and ‘Princess Knuckles’. All the names were stupid but he kind of liked that.
It lasted years, literally six! In fact even after they lost Splinter and he went more, his brothers didn’t figure it out. They knew he was fighting, but not about the money or the club, and seen as he pretty much always won until other mutants started to show up and he had more of a challenge, one thing he was good at was not getting too badly hurt.
Raph was grinning, arm lifted up as he shouted in victory as he just beat down a Cougar mutant in a fight that took six and half minutes and earns him a solid twenty thousand as it was the biggest fight of the month. He was standing tall and bloodied with the other mutant being taken to medical but six guys, looking around at the audience that loved him and his violence when he saw it.
He had leaned his head back, exhausted from the long fight as well as the two he had done before then, when he looked up at one of the many holes in the top floor.
There were three disappointed and almost heartbroken looking faces, one looking like he would cry, one like he was going to be sick at the sight of such depraved violence, one looking full of shame.
Mikey turned away first as soon as Raph caught his eye, tears falling so obvious even though he was so far away.
Donnie gagged, seemingly focused on the sight of the Cougar still holding onto his side from where Raph nearly gutted him with his nails. He ran away, probably following Mikey.
Leo… Leo just stared at him. He didn’t even shake his head like Splinter would have done, instead just staring at Raph like he was trying to figure out how someone could be such a shameful burden, a disappointment to him and everyone he knew.
Raph look down after Leo turned and left, staring at the screaming crowed and blood over his hands and the floor for the ring and for the first time since he found the club, he wished he was somewhere else.
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some angsty Raphael X fem reader where raph says things he regrets like "I use to love you" and "I don't know how I love you" with a fluffy ending????
Raphael x Fem. Reader Angst
Sure! I'm in an angsty mood today. Headcanon alert.
Want more from me? Masterlist 2
☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆
🧶Regrets🧶(TMNT or Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Warnings: Angst, fluff, short bc I finally wanted to finish it b4 I went to sleep
Society may have gotten to Raph's head a little...
✨✨✨✨
When you caught feelings for Raph...
He didn't believe it.
You, a human, liked him, a mutant?
It was impossible.
His insecurity was so strong he forced himself to believe the obvious bias toward him as friendship.
Until you kissed the corner of his lips and said, "I like you, doofus."
It took a while to become a pair, and you often had to reassure him (you expected it, though).
"Yes, I do like you."
"I want to be with you."
"I want you as much as you want me, Raph."
And he was...starting to feel that way for himself.
He really was.
But then you got into this romance movie phase and would watch them together.
You decided to be adventurous, copy some of what you saw...only it turned out a little awkward with Raph's towering form, not that you minded, you giggled, not caring too much about it.
That's where his doubt settled in.
You would've easily been able to do these things with a human man.
You couldn't kiss him like you could a human.
He had to be cautious of what strength he used with you so as to not hurt you.
He wasn't good enough for you, you deserved better, you deserved normal.
So, he put his feelings aside so you could get better.
"It's simple, [Name], I used tuh love ya' but I dunno how to anymore."
You blinked in confusion, "Where...where is this coming from? You weren't acting like this last time we were together..."
"Just didn't wanna hurt ya'."
"Too late for that."
He bit the inside of his cheek as you left the steamy argument.
He couldn't have regrets. He continued to remind himself for hours.
"Raphael."
Oh no, it's a rat.
"Yes, Master Splinter?"
"...Something happened between you and [Name], I presume?"
"How'd you--?"
His expression turned fond, "I know my son."
Raph broke eye contact, "I just...know she deserves better than me. I did it for her sake."
The elder mutant hummed in thought, "Did you even consider she might not want better than you? She could simply want you as you are."
"There's no way--"
"Did she ever confirm that she didn't want you, Raphael? Or is this stemming from your insecurity?"
"..."
"A major part of a successful relationship of any kind is communicating your emotions properly. You should give her and yourself the courtesy of doing so. Go find her."
And found you he did, crying into the stuffed animal he stole got for you.
He did that.
He gently knocked on your window, which was unlocked, a habit of yours he hated.
You didn't even have to look up to know it was him.
"What do you want, Raphael? Here to tell me how much you don't love me some more?"
"I wanted to talk...properly this time...And say I'm sorry."
You revealed a sad expression that broke him, "The Raphael is saying 'sorry'?"
"Yeah. I didn't mean to say those things to ya'."
"Then why did you?"
"Because you deserve better than me."
"Who said that?"
"The world."
"Well, we're in our own. I could care less about what anyone else says."
"You can't do things with me that you could do with human guys."
You raised a brow meeting him at the window, "Yeah, and? I know that. If I wanted to be with a human, I would've. I'm with you for a reason, Raph."
Good, you're calling him Raph again...
"Like what?"
"Because I love you, doofus. You, the ninja mutant turtle, who's a total grump, but a mega softie with me. The mutant turtle who protects me, but always allows me to protect myself, too. The turtle who makes me so many sweaters I need a plastic storage container to fit them all. Who makes me so many wood carvings I need a cardboard box. The mutant turtle who always finds a way to check up on me, even when I'm out of his patrol range. The turtle who watches romance movies with me, despite only liking half of them..."
He's speechless.
"I don't want some random human because that's what society accepts. I want someone I actually love."
Notes: Fucking FINALLY! Jesus Christ, did that take a minute. To be fair that didn't take all this time to write it was more so, a few couple-hour sessions spaced out by a month.
But, yeah, @samyp05 I hope you hadn't lost your faith in me, coz I promised and here it is.
Word Count: 1555
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Tense.
That could perfectly sum up the air around you.
Raphael was just waiting to blow up, you could tell. His breathing was quick, his eyes were narrowed, lips pursed into a scowl, and there was dynamite simmering just beneath the surface.
And like a seasoned soldier, you did all within your power to avoid triggering a landmine, wading through the minefield that is now your living room.
You knew he needed an outlet, he usually calmed down once it was all out. But so did you. You needed to just yell and punch things until all your energy was dispelled. You couldn't ask him to put all his burden on you because you'd been taking verbal abuse at work all day and you had your limits. So you just opted to do the bare minimum: make small talk, offer a drink, sit down on the couch, hopefully the tension in the room will eventually disperse into the atmosphere like toxic gas.
"What's wrong, tiny?" he asked, slightly concerned it seemed, head tilted questioningly to the side so he could look at you better, as his arm wound tighter around you.
You shrugged, shook your head trying your best to give off a casual, nonchalant vibe.
"Nothing's wrong."
He didn't seem to buy it.
"Ye're lyin'."
Shit.
"Just... stress at work."
He scoffed.
He fucking scoffed.
That boiled your blood, heat surging through your veins as cortisol and adrenaline filled the morality sector of your brain.
In other words, you snapped.
"You find that funny, Raph?" you hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wide, waiting for him to make a wrong move, so you could blow up on him.
His dismissive eyes turned to you, getting progressively more riled up, you could tell. His arm around you loosened, he physically tried to step back from you, but that was predictable, Raph wore hi heart on his sleeve.
"You don't know what's stress..." he trailed off as if he had something even more condescending to say, but decidrd that that one he'd keep to himself.
In hindsight, you were both landmines. And there was an earthquake between you. You'd either be brought closer together or split far apart, and it seemed neither one of you was in a position to choose then.
"What does that mean, Raphael?" and now he knows he fucked up too.
But he hardly cared.
"You ain't got a clue what stress is!" he growled, voice slightly raising but not enough to actually be called yelling and yet your eyes were already ringing as if the explosion has passed. "Ya don't walk between life and death everyday." he jumped off the couch, nearly flipping the coffee table with his momentum, and just then you realised the blast hadn't passed, you'd just seen the mushroom cloud.
"Ya don't have to hide coz someone might scream and call you a monster. Ya ain't got a clue what it's like in my shoes, tiny!" all the might of his voice raised to a crescendo, you saw the reposition he made, he was attacking you now.
The fallout was upon you.
You realised you're not a rival blast, you're not the force to even out his destruction. You're the Earth that's meant to take the bombs in silence and silently recoup after the dust has settled. Your anger towards him ran cold, quickly, still present but different somehow.
"Ya're here complain about stress at work?! How 'bout having to fight for your life every night?! Ya don't know shit about stress, Shorty! Ya don't know shit!"
A long silence followed after him. Perhaps he was waiting for you to errup as well. He was wrong.
Deep breath in.
Let the dust settle.
Eyes on his.
"I know one thing," your voice was, from an outside perspective, calm, but it was way more than that. It was cold. You could see him notice the difference in the way his sneer softened into a frown, the slight slump of his shoulders.
"And that is, that I am not a punching bag. I wasnt made to take punches." another breath as his arms lowered to his sides, lips softly parting as if trying to say something, with no clue as to what it is.
"If you want to go off and find someone who knows all of your struggles first hand, go ahead and do so..." your airways constricted around the words, a silent sob forming in your throat at the thought of him leaving, but you pushed through, "...but I will not sit here and take all this abuse because I don't have the same problems as you."
You quietly lifted from the couch, trying to keep your face from displaying any of the chilling greaf, the nuclear winter that settled over you.
"Goodnight, Raphael."
That was the last you spoke that night.
And the last you spoke in the next days.
The last you spoke in a week.
You went through all stages of grief, the blaming, the denial, the constant crying, the guilt that is is all your fault, that you should not have pushed him so far, and then finally the acceptance.
You were right to demand to be treated with dignity, you were right to demand your space and time to deal with your own problems, you were right to say te things you said.
But it fucking hurt.
It hurt so bad. To have to think, and then say those things, and to receive no response from him at all.
Had he taken you up kn the offer? Had he found someone else? Were they better for him than you were? Was he happy? Were you holding Jim back.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
You'd just returned from work, the lights weren't even on yet, and to be honest you were looking forward to going to bed immediately. The less time to think about it the better.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Could it be?
Past the coat hanger, past the small kitchenette, around the couch, into the living room with its view into a major New. York traffic artery, the curtains were drawn like you'd left them the night before, but you didn't need to see clearly to know.
The city behind your window illuminated your apartment brightly through the curtains, a large Raphael-shaped shadow was silhouetted.
Emotions hit you in waves?
He's finally here! Why is he here? What does he want? Why now? Could he be injured?
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Deep breath in, eyes shut. Compose yourself.
No point prolonging the inevitable?
You yanked the curtsins back, and somehow the sight of him was unexpected.
He looked the same. He wore the same clothes you'd seen him wear before. He was posed similarly to the many times he had crouched by your window waiting for you to open up.
The actions were so trained, and still somehow so blurry that you only remember him passing through the window sil, and then the window was closedm
"Uh, hey?" he sounded quite unsure, were those the words? Perhaps not but you didn't know what they were either. You decided then that you will be strictly silent to anything he says. He couldn't just sting you along like this for a week.
"Tiny..." his eyes picked up from the floor and looked at yours with so much sincerely you could cry, "I'm sorry I stringed you along for a week."
A breath in, shoulders down.
"And I'm sorry I said those things. I shouldn't've yelled at ya, and I shouldn't've made your problems sound stupid. Or mimim- Minimised them." a scoff of humor left you, as he struggled with a big word he'd probably learned from Don or his father. You appreciated the effort and the gesture.
"And I don't want nobody else. I want you. But I was a jerk. So..." his warm pits of gold met the floor again, and you felt like a fool, because you'd already forgiven him without him needing to say the words.
But you were not hoping to let him off the hook so easily.
"Yeah, you were." he looked up at you again, and you saw the sadness the guilt in his eyes, you couldn't make him suffer.
"But I understand. My work problems are trivial compared to your daily problems. But that doesn't mean I don't want to whine about them, okay! It's therapeutic!"
"So, how about from now on, we be each others therapy. I'll listen to anything you have to say, and you'll do the same. I'll help you and you'll do the same. Deal?"
A smirk built onto his bold lips, but not one of contempt, you didn't think, it was one of mirth, of actual joy, relief even. And that did truly warmed your heart, the one that was left in the snow, alone to deal with the nuclear winter.
"There's something I wanna hear right now." now he was going back to "smug".
"And what's that?" you ask ask, feigning ignorance. Oh, you were about to warm up, alright.
"This." in a snap he'd bent down to sweep you off the ground, large hands being your thighs, mouth on yours. You hardly registered that he was moving
Backwards?
That's where the bedroom is?
You gave him so much noise to listen to that night.
