You know something that annoys me? When I see people online, like on Reddit, Pinterest, YouTube and sometimes, even here on Tumblr, pit Kaz against someone else from the Grishaverse or another book in a physical fight, and some people argue that because of his limp and the fact that he primarily uses his brain to get by things, he has a disadvantage in the fight. Like he would fare better if he were given time to prep.
Please let me know if I offend anyone, but it feels like ableism to me.
Reminders, Kaz canonly held a man off a tower with one hand, uses a weighted metal cane daily, can break bones with sheer strength and Slat fight anyone?? Sure Kaz uses his brain a lot, but if he really needs to do a job using physical movements and force, he will. If he needs to fight, he will fight dirty. He earned the title of Dirtyhands due to his willingness to do jobs that even require his hands to get filthy or bleed. Not just for shits and giggles.
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As most of you already know, Iāve been a huge fan of Marco Bodt from the hit anime series āAttack on Titanā. In fact, I used to draw some art and wrote some fics centred around him. But since yesterday, I had some time to think, and came to the conclusion that I may have been overhyped about him all that time.
Look, he still has a few amount of moments, but thatās the problem; only a FEW! Most of them donāt even contribute much to the overarching story of the show.
When we first meet him, itās outright stated that heās an idealistic wonder; the most innocent goal compared to the main cast (obviously a red flag there). Afterwards, he wasnāt focused on throughout most of the next episodes, kinda like Bertholdt in a way. When we cut back to him, he once again talked about his ideal future which quickly led his friend Jean to get into a fight with Eren - once again is it pushed out of mind like itās not important.
We donāt see him again until the battle of Trost commences; all he did was follow the lead, call Jeanās name and blinded some titans in order for the main cast to kill them. The only big focus he got was during his small talk with his friend Jean again.
He shares some sweet thoughts about how Jean can be seen as a good leader since he understands what itās like to be weak, but this will only become important for a certain scene later on in the season. For now, it is quickly established before going back to the fighting.
As the battle continues, one brief scene of Marco saving Jeanās life later, we see the protagonist successfully complete the mission. And what do we find out the very next cut which takes place not long after? Marco apparently died off-screen.
Sure it was shocking at first, and how much so it is from Jeanās point of view, but then again, we shouldāve saw this coming. Most of the other minor characters suffered the same fate so of COURSE he was gonna be next. Also, aside from Jean, nobody else was affected by his death - except maybe a big reveal but weāll cross that bridge in a second.
Just like that, Marco is barely mentioned at all throughout the next seasons, only a couple of cameos. That is, until it was confirmed that he died from overhearing the warriorās conversation. Honestly, that couldāve been anyone, and I bet Yams didnāt even had a plan to show off how he died and only did this because fans were theorising if heās still alive or were begging to know what happened to him. They got an answer at least.
Even outside of his lack of role in the story, he does seem pretty one-noted with all of his scenes combined. Heās naive and caring⦠and thatās it. Canāt believe I was crazy enough to try and explore him deeper when there was no need to. His existence was meant to be the first stepping stone of Jeanās development and thatās how it should remain - heād be better off with another guy/girl anyway.
Iām sorry if this is all out of the blue to you guys, but I think Iāve just exhausted all of my fuel to keep this praise going. Marco Bodt has come clean to me that heās solely a bystander or a plot device who can easily be forgotten within the wave of more intriguing things.
Consider this a goodbye to the freckled boy forever.
ā¦.
BAH!
Just kidding! Gotcha there for a second there, didnāt I?! Hopefully because this was very hard to write.
Anyway, HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY, MY LOVELY MOOTS! Sorry for scaring you. Iāll forever love my freckled angel and wish he had lived and for him and Jean to remain together! š š
i remember you mentioned that there was a tough situation involving your family. specifically the one you confronted them about a while ago. if youre ever comfortable sharing more about what happened and how you healed from that. i would love to hear about it. i have a dysfunctional family as well. how did you end up getting through it?
Hey bestie! Iāll put it underneath the āread more.ā Iām always here to clarify and help.
Basically the one who I confronted and she sent that message to my dad was my niece. She has a lying problem. Still does. She got caught lying multiple times and instead of owning it, she blamed everyone else, including me. She stole from me, used my stuff without asking, pretended to be me to talk to her ex at one point (???) and would blow up on me over nothing. Legitimately nothing. Sometimes Iād have no idea why she was pissy and she would never communicate. I told her it was a bad idea when she openly talked about wanting to get pregnant AT 15, and she flipped on me for that too. She was with two guys at the same time and I remember telling her not to do that. Itās not okay. I also remember telling her how weird it was that her mom was letting her be around / date men older than her. Especially at her age. Then she told another guy he was the dad of the baby and I was likeā¦noā¦.clearly not by the looks of her messages. Then at some point he confessed to me and I got weirded out and dipped. Cause??? Ew?? Multiple red flags and reasons why thatās a major no. š¬
The worst part? When I said her brother made an inappropriate action toward me, she told me āhe would never,ā even though she had literally said he did inappropriate things to her. (Side eye???) Thatās when I realized sheād rather lie than actually deal with hard problems.
She always saw me as competition, even though I couldnāt have cared less about the guys she dated. I was 15ā16, obsessed with FNAF, and just happy to have someone to talk to. You could be beside me at Walmart and as long as youād listen Iād talk. All Iād ever talk about was my fixations to anyone around. But one of those guys had a crush on me (same guy I said confessed), and she took it out on me, not him. Classic projection.
To also clarify she lived with us for a short while because she told me her dad was abusing them. My parents advised her to call CPS (DUH?) when she came over. Later she blamed my dad and I, and said we called. Not her. And that it ānever happened.ā Which is confusing as hell to me. Because that leaves multiple issues. (1. Either she lied or 2. He is an abuser (allegedly) and she lets her kid around him.) Crazy work.
Years later I had a job where one of her old friends worked, and guess what? Same stories. Same patterns. Itās not just me. Her exās family even came after me and my dad, blaming us for him going to jail; when it was her and her mom who called the cops. Crazy work also if you remember in the message she said āI donāt even talk about yall.ā Clearlyā¦you doā¦or I wouldnāt have people coming up to me about things that you lied about and that I could prove you lied aboutā¦.š¬
Also weird thing I noticed after clearing things up with people. If you like something, have an interest, or if you had something happen to you - not long after conveniently itās something she likes or had happen to herā¦..strange. Itās like she takes bits and pieces of other peopleās identifies and meshes it into her own.
Alsoā¦if almost every person you meet is the āproblemā I guarantee you theyāre not. Noticeā¦.as soon as she left I have no dramaā¦no problemsā¦.happy healthy life. I guarantee you she still has problems and people sheās arguing with. My sister too, no doubt. Itās fixable though. She could easily fix these issues and just be happy. It wonāt happen though.
Sheās still mad I told people what happened. Iām not gonna lie, I couldāve been nicer about it. I was absolutely dogging on her but at the time I was a hurt kid that got lied on, used, stolen from, and constantly belittled by her. The good news is, even though I was absolutely dogging on her everything I said was true. What she forgets is, I kept the screenshots. She still lies about it to this day. Iām the type of person that if you do something wrong Iām going to point it out and not let you get a free pass. I gave her plenty of opportunities to correct it.
Then as you saw she for some reason thinks thatās illegal that I have those screenshots. My parents obtained it legally and gave it to me. Obviously because my dad doesnāt know a lot about technology. Itās not illegal. She shouldnāt have admitted to multiple crimes. And the cherry on top? My parents were her legal guardians at the time. My sister brought contraband (the phone) into their house, and we had to send the contents of her phone to CPS. Itās on her record that she does and will lie now. We mainly sent it off to CPS so she couldnāt turn around and say it was my dad and I (like she was planning.) Lying about that is a crime. Iām just surprised my dad never pressed charges. Itās serious. So Iām glad that was found.
Triple cherry on top? My sister was logged into that phone, so we saw everything. Of course it got turned over to CPS for records like everything else. Basically her mom, the one she defends no matter what, was literally her biggest hater.
The messages were all there:
-> Her mom talking shit about her to friends.
-> Her mom did admit to her friends that it was my niece that called CPS and forensic proved it. She called her an attention seeker. Then would turn around to other people and say it was all my dadās fault. Then when talking to my nieces ex she would blame me and say itās all my doing (I was 15-16 bro wtf did I do.)
-> Videos of my niece crying while her mom laughed about the videos and scrolling through it. Calling her fake.
-> Texts where her and her mom were plotting for her to get pregnant. BOMBASTIC side eye.
I warned her. I literally warned her about her mom. She didnāt listen. I tried to tell her that the guys she was dating were red flags, I told her about her self sabotaging, I told her she should just be independent and work on herself. The thing is she thinks uncomfortable feelings and hard truths are a slight against her.
If you try to guide her in the right direction and tell her what sheās doing is wrong she will act like youāve insulted her. Like nobody is competing with her. Nobody is beefing with her. Nobody is even mad at her. She just does inexcusable things to good people and self sabotages cause the truth seems to hurt. I kinda just pity her. Like?? Is it notā¦tiringā¦?
But at some point, the truth smacks you in the face. The truth is I doubt she will ever change, apologize, or realize her self sabotaging behavior.
Hopefully sheāll learn. Maybe sheāll realize itās her side of the family and their environment that makes her so miserable. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day sheāll realize the person she defended the most is the one who never gave a single shit about her.
But hereās the truth: When you lie that much, hurt people that badly, and burn every bridge you cross, eventually the only one youāre fooling is yourself.
The reason I got away from that side of the family is - I know itās a pattern. If one parent does it, unless the child breaks the cycle, itāll simply continue. As soon as I realized how my sister was talking about her kids (which I am sure youāve seen from what I put in the GC) then I saw the way my niece wasnāt changing the cycle I was out. I donāt want to continue the cycle they have going on.
My dad is the only parent I ever had. I wonāt say heās perfect at parenting. He can be demeaning and rude. There were times he was downright awful. He knows this now. We went to therapy together. I realized my dad never stopped his cycles because his parents didnāt either. My dad has a lot of trauma. Heās told me things he went through as a kid heās never told anyone else before. Iāll take it to my grave. Not even my siblings know. I realized too late in life that my dad is hurt because of things that happened in his youth. Itās understandable after I heard it. Itās hard for him to open up or express affection. Over time heās softened up. Heās not as harsh or as critical. He thinks twice before saying something. He compliments me instead of being demeaning.
Heās hard on me because he doesnāt want me to get hurt. Heās hard on me because he doesnāt want me to fail the way he feels like he failed. I genuinely think if my bio mom was mature, a lot of family issues wouldāve never happened. I get that she didnāt want to stay with him. Iām not saying she shouldnāt have left. Itās just the way she went about it (cheating, running over her children, participating in illegal activities in front of her children, abandonment, starvation of her children, etc) that definitely created a rift. I think itās really weird also for anyone to take my bio momās side.
Nobody should take a child abusers side in any capacity. Especially when you RAN YOUR KID OVER ALL FOR A MAN. A MAN YOURE CHEATING ON YOUR COMMON LAW HUSBAND WITH. I can understand that it was a tough time for all my siblings. I just think itās where resentment started. Iām especially going to blame my bio mom for this one. Not once growing up did my dad pin me against my bio mom. He let me make my own decisions. Yet every-time I heard from my bio momās side of the family theyād instantly talk about how terrible my dad was. I figured out where the dysfunction came from pretty quick.
Itās just. Idk. Sometimes I feel like if anyone. Just anyone in my family were to sit down and talk like an adult and everyone truly listened to each other a lot of issues and resentment would be resolved. Thatās kind of impossible with them though. Healing doesnāt mean pretending it didnāt hurt. Healing means realizing that you donāt have to carry their pain for them anymore. You know, as bad as it sounds I pity a lot of my family members. A lot of them are miserable. I meanā¦..one look at emā is all it takesā¦
I had to realize that, yeah I feel bad for them. It doesnāt mean I should give them space to hurt me. I couldnāt care less what they say. Though, I find it laughable. I confronted my bio mom about things she was saying. I can pity people and have empathy and still not let that get in the way of standing up for myself. I can realize I donāt āneedā to be the bigger person. If telling them theyāre being a POS (when they are being a POS) brings me peace then I do it. If they say Iām not being the bigger person, who cares? Dysfunctional people donāt know what being the bigger person means anyways.
A way to survive a dysfunctional family is realizing no matter what you do you cannot change them. Just do what you need to do. As they say āyou can lead a horse to the trough but you canāt make it drink.ā Thatās pretty much them. You can tell them time and time again but they donāt want help. Theyāre too comfortable living life with problems that being free of issues is frightening to them.
Itās also okay to grieve the family you wish you had. For me, when I was younger I always wondered what I did to not have a mom. I was hard on myself. I pushed myself to be the best. The best in class, the most behaved, the best dressed, the well spoken one. To this day, I believe it is incredibly selfish for parents to leave their children but itās also selfish for parents to ban their children from seeing another parent (unless itās a safety concern.) My dad never once banned me from seeing her (though it would have to be supervised), never once didnāt answer my questions, and never once made me feel guilty for her leaving. That was all her own doing.
Though, if I had seen her and seen how she wouldāve let me down I wouldāve gotten over it way sooner. I wouldnāt have internalized it for so long. I wouldāve realized sooner it was never me. Never got a happy birthday, never got a congratulations, never heard a āIām proud of youā from her. I confronted her not too long ago. She pulled the cancer card and refuses to talk to me. Mind you, her excuse when I was a kid was that it was all my dadās fault. I am a grown adult, whatās stopping her now? Absolutely nothing. Sheās just a terrible parent who blames everyone else. I see where my family members got it from.
Speaking of grieving family. Sometimes I wished I could go back in time. I feel incredibly guilty that my brother took care of me when our bio mom left us alone in those apartments. I wish I could give him that time back. If Iām being honest, Iām crying when I think about it. I miss him a lot. Heās older now and he lives life without me but I worry about him a lot. I donāt think thereās a reason for me to worry, but I always will. It took me a long time to realize it was never my fault. It was hers. She barred my dad from seeing us. Left us alone. With no food. While she went off with a man. No good parent would do what she did. The guilt doesnāt go away, but it took me far too long to realize it wasnāt my fault. I think Iād give up anything to give him that time back. Heās never said it or acted like it, but I hope he doesnāt resent me for it. Even if he did I still love my brother.
One thing about dysfunctional families, and why I mentioned my brother, is that situations will happen and you canāt blame yourself. Especially if you were a child. Dysfunctional families also attract more dysfunction. Sometimes my oldest brother (not the same brother mentioned before) would date a woman and for no reason at all theyād hate me. One of them locked me in a closet when I was around 9. Sometimes I see them and I can see the resentment and anger in them. Iāll be honest, I know nothing about them. I just conclude theyāre unhappy. I have to remember thatās not my fault. I was a kid. Nothing couldāve warranted an adult acting that way.
I canāt blame myself for what my bio mom did.
I canāt blame myself for not understanding my dad sooner.
I canāt blame myself for my sisters problems.
I canāt blame myself for how adults act.
I canāt blame myself because someone (my niece) misunderstands me and misunderstands herself.
When it comes to dysfunctional families just remember everything I mentioned. Donāt blame yourself, you canāt fix them, you can try to understand but donāt do it at your expense. And another tip is, donāt continue the cycle. If you notice they do things and theyāre miserable, donāt do what theyāre doing. And for the love of God and all things holy I REPEAT do not blame yourself. Especially with dysfunctional people. Iāve got family members Iāve never met and for some reason they dislike me just because Iām from my dad. Thatās literally it. Itās never your fault. Adults should know better.
@shynessbunny Do you have any advice on how to deal with dysfunctional families?
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I just finished princess tutu and enjoyed it but don't really know how to feel about the ending. I get that it's meant to symbolise acceptance and hope, but I still feel a little disappointed. I don't really mind that she didn't get with Mytho since he only saw her as Princess tutu and not as duck/Ahiru but it still kinda annoyed me how easily he let go of his "love" for Tutu, yk? She literally risked her life for him, transcended her nature as a duck just to help him, but he went for rue? To be fair, I doubt he ever even loved Tutu. He did admit that the beating in his chest when he was near Tutu was hope. The necklace is literally the shard of hope, so being close to her would trigger that feeling. It'd obviously have an effect on him since he hasn't felt any emotion in so long
What I'm trying to say is that it annoyed me how easily he moved onto Rue, not the fact that he moved onto Rue. It also really irritated me how he didn't intervene when duck was getting her ass whooped (like damn at least help her) plus I would have wished that they gave rue more character development, she was really harmful to him; she DID come to terms with that but i wish that it would've taken more than a episode and and a half. Her development was done well. I just wish it was longer.
Kinda sad that she still ended up as a duck, I thought that fakir would've written a story where she regains her human form. But that's kinda what gives the ending its charm. Her returning to her original form and accepting that form, so I'm not gonna complain too much about it. I do like her paired with fakir more than her with mytho since fakir cared for her even when she was duck/ahiru not because she was tutu. (I'm kinda contradicting myself here but ig that's normal when trying to get a feel abt an ending like that)
This post was planned so long ago but better late than never! My hyperfixation has died down but that doesn't stop him from being the reason I made this account, so I think it's fitting the first post is dedicated to him!
Artist: Solis Animation
Nicky from the Song Trilogy "Brittle Bones Nicky", uploaded by Rare Americans on Sept. 3rd 2019 follows a troubled kid throughout his life, along with his afterlife deal that brings him back from the dead.
All of this art is from the (linked) first instalment in the trilogy of songs but I enjoy all three!! I'm just too lazy to get more screen caps (which is why the quality is kinda ass)
Thanks for caring enough to get down here! Have a good day!