#rant account

The rants i'll be making will be the theme of the ghost types in the journal on the roblox game Demonology. Old versions and new.

This is being written while very upset and remembering and going back on past texts. So I will be upset. For privacy purposes I'm calling him Sapphire (as that's what he wanted me to call him when we were "in a relationship"

I knew this guy, my sapphire. We met in a Smile for Me discord server, and we became friends for a short while. During that time, he decided to start flirting with me and whatever.. I enjoyed and liked it so I tried to do it back in my own way.

Well, me and him had a fallout. He stopped texting me less, I was apparently "pestering" and "bothering" him and he just wanted alone time during his tough times. So I gave him that space.

He stopped talking to me as much, and decided that people who are 4-5 years younger than him were more important. So, we eventually stopped talking. I got tired of reaching and trying to make something work.. especially when he wouldn't even give me a yes or no on whether or not we were actually dating or together. I decided to let it go.

Eventually this fallout led to a huge huge argument and I regrettably caused a lot of drama. This ended in an argument where he stated that he felt like I did it because I was hurting and upset over our "relationship"

(recap is over)

I still miss him. I don't ever want to be around him ever again. But when he was nice and kind to me, he was the best and nicest person to be around. But while looking back, I also noticed I was only wanted when his friends weren't available. That was the only time he wanted "his god."

I wish he just told me verbatim that he didn't actually love me, nor care about me. I wish he didn't use me to make himself feel better when he didn't have anyone else to talk to. I'm always that person. I'm always the last option when no one else is around.

I was so happy when he first called me his god and started flirting and talking all the time. I felt like I was finally someones first. But no, his friends come first, not the "relationship" that he never even confirmed was real (that reason was because he told me he was cupioromantic.. and then later made a targeted post in the server that "he's aromantic for real and thats why he distances himself from people he gets close to."

I hate him. I hate people like him. I wish I never met him, and part of me wishes I was never introduced to Smile for Me in the first place, just because of him.

And yet I miss him.

There’s nothing quote “bad” or “wrong” or even “harmful” about my everyday existence.

But it’s not the life I want for myself.

I’m not sure how to describe it but I know that the life I want for myself is not the one I’m living.

And I have no idea how to “live” the way I want to.

call me sharky, guppy, or finn i go by it/he/bun/pup pronouns this is a vent/rant/personal blog because i don't want my friends to see my vents :( i don't want them to worry

some things about me (including blinkies) (also i KNOW i use blinkies wrong I just kinda suck)

Honestly was bored w life and had to make one. I doubt I’ll be deeply involved in the community, some of the stuff that goes on there confuses the FUCK out of me—

U can find the acc here ⬇️

@ random_muppet_rants.mp4

Oh em gee first rant woahuh (idk if i should date or number them idk I’ll figure it out)

First rant!!

GAH I CAN’T ESCAPE A FANDOM NEVER EVER CAN I.

So my name originates from an animated series on Youtube, Madness Combat! AND I LOVE IT 5 EVER. It has been a favorite of mine since forever!

However.

ANYTIME I GET INTO SOMETHING NEW (in this case Smile for Me or Deltarune) IT ALWAYS COMES BACK?????

Like its always and forever in the back of my head BUT it just likes to punch me 500000 times until its all or most of what I think about…. It is never ending

Anyways i love you madness combat :-33