Keeping in mind, if I lost any more weight I would very rapidly fall into the 'dramatically unhealthy' scale. I'm not bone-thin or anything, but I don't have a lot to lose. And I'm also, y'know. Anemic. (Though frankly, if I wanted to lose more than another 10-ish pounds I'd need a fucking bonesaw. I have a pretty sturdy frame.)

It happened in high school, when I was eating lunch(y'know, cause I was hungry. So I ate like I was hungry.) and was told that eating that much would make me 'even fatter'. My crime in question was having TWO of the smaller-than-palm-size squares of brownie from the cafeteria. Alongside leftover vegtable dumplings, which I'd brought from home.

Now- I was homeschooled for most of my childhood. And I was californian, and very sheltered. So my reaction to this was not shame or offence. I wasn't raised in a culture where being fat was considered especially bad. Food was good, and as long as you're active enough to maintain basic health, there aren't very many problems with it.

The first instance of 'dieting' I was ever exposed to was Stacy McGill in the Baby-Sitters Club. The only others I saw were family friends who couldn't eat gluten, or dairy, or some other food type because of specific health problems or allergies. I did know one vegan, but she was also a really overzealous Christian who was kinda the 'weird lady' on my block. Who is also the reason I thought Christians were required to be vegan for the first eight years of my life.

My mom did 'diet' in front of me once, but it was an elimination diet because of IBS because she was trying to re-introduce a bunch of different kinds of foods into her diet so she could digest them properly. Dieting was something you did because of specific health problems, or weird religious requirements. Not to lose weight, unless you had a specific problem that required it.

So my response was to put the brownie down, look over at the girl who'd said it with a hell of a lotta concern, and just whisper 'Honey, are you okay?'

She was, needless to say, somewhat surprised by this reaction.

She asked what the hell I was talking about. I then said 'Sweetie, I'm not fat. I don't have much extra. And if you think I'm too fat, I'm terrified of the standard you're holding yourself to.'

She didn't seem to have much to say afterward, so I went back to eating my brownie. But I'm pretty sure I saw her crying afterward.

And this isn't even the same girl I accidentally convinced to stop shaving by just being genuinely confused why it was something people did.

So yeah, a homeschooled Californian teenager is an invasive species in a UK public secondary school.

I ended up getting pulled out of school eventually, because while I proved too autistic most for the social bullying, the violent bullying was still fairly effective.

So in the friends giving episode Cal mentions he parks a few blocks away if he's lucky. WHY TF DO YOU NEED A CAR????

The states can literally teleport anywhere tf they want with a snap of their fingers. TF DOES HIS BROKE ASS NEED A CAR FOR??? He already struggles with rent and he's wasting money on a fucking CAR???? TELEPORT DUMBASS???? HELLO???

THIS IS NOT SPOILER FREE. STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

Yes James fucked up big time. And I'm glad Ruby didn't take any of his bullshit. James needed saving but only he could save himself. And Ruby said that to his face. As she should. And we're seeing him actually doing something about his grief and his mistakes. And I'm glad he doesn't have any expectations from Ruby. He's there whenever she needs him and he's not waiting for Ruby to forgive him, as in, he knows she doesn't have to. But he's still doing his best to earn her forgiveness. I understand and empathise with James but Ruby had every right to be angry. And we see it. We see her torn between love and loathing. And James is showing his growth and apology through his actions and not just his words. He's trying to be a better brother, a better boyfriend and a better friend. And I love the fact that he's vulnerable with his friends. And the speech at the end of ep 3 was perfection.

Coming to the female friendships. I'm in love with the friendship between Ruby, Lin, Lydia, and Ember. The way the girls are there for each other is beautiful. Maxton hall seriously isn't your typical teen soap opera and I love to see it. There's no jealousy between the girls. And Lydia and Ruby are sweethearts. Plus the solidarity when we see that girl give Ruby a ride when she's crying was marvelous. I'm glad the writers chose that scene. Because usually the typical way would be that some guy picks up Ruby and she has a one night stand with him. Instead it's a girl, dropping off another girl, cause FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS.