#random notes

.10

Where did it all go wrong? Where did you mess up? All you wanted was to make a friend… no. Not even that. You were fine on your own. You just wanted to be left alone. Why was that so hard for people to understand? But hey, not like it matters anymore. Not when you stood at the very top of Ramshackle Dorm, spinning and twisting with an elegance that belied your frail figure. How many skills did you master in a single year just to try and be accepted?

‘Not that it matters anymore, I suppose.’

You tried to learn proper etiquette and tried to memorize all of the 810 rules in the Heartslabyul dorm, learned to bake to try and lessen Trey’s burden, learned to fucking work with boiling sugar to make candies. You learned gymnastics and both street and mixed martial arts to try and fit in Savanaclaw. You worked in the Monstro Lounge and covered a certain eel merman’s shifts for free, mind you, and learned to be that picture perfect customer server in Octavinelle.

You were now able to keep up with even Jamil’s moves in Scarabia out of pure desperation to fit in, even going as far as to grow the rare spices that Jamil used in his cooking. You studied fashion, sewing, and designing clothing lines in a poor attempt to be helpful to Vil, though you were often met with condescending remarks about your competence. You rescued Idia from every social interaction you could and tried to learn a bit about fixing up machines from Ortho.

You learned how to wield some close range weapons, like a dagger and a short sword, learned more hand to hand combat, learned to throw a goddamn ax! You learned so many skills all for NOTHING! But it was fine, everything was fine. That’s what your midnight performance was for. It took just a few flutters of your step sibling’s eyelashes, a couple tears, and some well-placed whispers to make you out to be some sort of greedy, vicious monster with a volatile personality.

But it was fine.

You spun faster and faster on the creaky roof, finally stopping and leaping gracefully off, legs outstretched and soon

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𝓐 𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝗈́𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗌 𝗏𝖺̃𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆 𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗈,

𝗌𝖾 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗳𝗮𝘇𝗲𝗺, 𝗆𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗀𝗎𝗆𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝖾

𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗆 𝓒𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗼 ' ⭐

𝗩𝗢𝗖𝗘̂ 𝖾́ 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗁𝖺 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝗈́𝗋𝗂𝖺 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺́𝗏𝖾𝗅

𝖿𝖾𝗂𝗍𝖺 𝖽𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝖽𝗋𝖺 𝖾 𝖽𝖾 𝐒𝖮𝖬𝖡𝖱𝖠. 𝖾́ 𝖽𝖾𝗅𝖺

𝗊𝗎𝖾 𝗍𝗎𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝖺𝗌𝖼𝖾 𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗇𝖼̧𝖺.