Do you have interesting Homestuck headcanons, O Old One?
I like to think that Grandpa Harley (beta!Jake) and Grandma English (alpha!Jade) at some point met on their respective golden ship voyages through the fourth wall window & around the gamespacetime. They crossed paths by chance, of course struck up a friendship and compared notes, and then, sometime shortly before each of their respective deaths, they deliberately met up again and started going around grabbing all the other human guardians.
They get Nana Egbert (beta!Jane) first, or tbh maybe they just pick up her clownsprite (the clown doll is contributing 0 personality save a slight enhancement to Jane's natural japery). This is essential because she's a Life player, and can resurrect the others.
They go back to the alpha timeline next, and wait for the Condesce to leave (wait for her to finish spitefully hacking the bodies), and resurrect alpha!Rose and alpha!Dave. Rose immediately clutches her head and says, "No, no - he's grabbing at every version of me. Knock me out!"
"What?!" says Jade English.
"Knock me out!" snaps this version of the Seer of Light. "And watch out for the puppets! Do it now!"
Dave knocks her out, because if there's one thing he knows, it's to listen to his sister when she's being prophetic.
Confused and concerned, but continuing nonetheless, they nip back in that timeline and grab John Crocker (alpha!John). He needs a lot of convincing that all of this is real, but he does hug Jade back just as fiercely as she hugs him. Even from his point of view, it's been a long time since they last spoke.
They hop timelines again, and watch from afar as young John finds his father's and Momlonde (beta!Roxy)'s bodies. They watch from afar as young Rose finds them, and the sky turns horrorterror-dark around her. They wait for both children to go, then sneak in and raise the dead.
No one in the beta timeline is as close to each other as they were in the alpha timeline, and they only knew anything like the truth from glimpses of the gametimespace and reverse-engineering scraps of technology. Nonetheless, Jane cheerfully ribs both her son and her old friend for being dragged into a video game apocalypse on an alien planet and promptly having a romantic wine lunch.
Then they all square up - Dad and Jake both roll up their sleeves and ready their fists, Roxy pulls a rifle out of her purse, Nana prepares several throwing pies, and Dave unsheathes his sword - (Rose is still unconscious and Jade stays with her the ship, because this is really an alpha kids/Striders issue) - and go Deal With Bro (beta!Dirk).
By which I mean, wait for Jack Noir to kill him and young Dave to find him and fail even now to break his katana, then resurrect him and immediately kick his ass, bind and gag him, and maybe knock him out for good measure. Even with all iterations of Dirk Strider leaking into his brain, and assistive puppets lurking for sneak attacks, this scummiest version of everything Dirk could be is no match for one of the best versions of Dave, plus everyone else.
Then they go crash the Epilogues (the ones we saw, at least!) and help stop whatever the fuck Dirk was doing in the Meat one (or was it the Candy one? I don't remember).
In the inevitable party after the day is saved, Dad Egbert and Dad Crocker tipsily make out for a while, because they both fall into the "I'd want to know what kissing me is like" category of clone-fucking consideration, and also Mom!Roxy is delightedly encouraging them.