#ranch thoughts

The first fist bump we see in Bad Buddy is between Pat and his dad. Pat's dad has just said he used to protect the girls in his faculty from the nefarious Architecture boys and the two are celebrating his coolness.

Later that episode, Pat comes to Pran to propose a truce in the Engineering and Architecture fight. Pran suggests a plan, Pat agrees, and he holds a fist out to seal the deal. Pran seems surprised at first, but then reaches out and fist bumps Pat. A iconic gesture is born.

I don't have the words or time to get into this right now so you'll just get some ramblings:

the fist bump being a gesture Pat learned from his dad (his macho, "did you win the fight son?" dad)

Pats instinct to seal the deal, a deal that will end the fighting with compromise, is with a gesture learned from his father

Pat taking the tools he learned from his dad (posturing, fighting, being the best, etc.) and using them in a way that better suits who he really is, under everything his dad wanted him to be (compromise, cooperation, connection to Pran)

the way this gesture, the fist bump, becomes THE symbol of Pat and Pran's love, a love that Pat's father cannot tolerate and tries to forbid, and is present at all the important moments in their relationship (the beginning of the bet, the public confession on the stairs, etc.)

Pat and Pran being competitive is a cornerstone of their relationship: they battle academically, they tease one another constantly, they fight physically, and they even officially get together through a bet. Pat and Pran have grown up with so much competition in their lives it makes sense that it would remain part of their dynamic, albeit with different contexts and meanings (i.e, as fun foreplay).

Pat and Pran were pitted against each other as kids, and then in university once again found themselves on opposite sides of a rivalry between their two faculties. However, the competition between the two of them has never involved feelings of genuine hatred. They maintained a fairly friendly relationship through childhood (they spoke to each other through tin cans, they were in a band and wrote a song together, etc.), and in university they pretty quickly started working together to keep their faculties peaceful and had limits on how far they'd go when fighting (Pat promised Pa he wouldn't physically hurt Pran). Pat says it himself in episode 6: despite being forced to compete against Pran every day of his life, he could never hate him. Competing was something they did - something they went through - together.

Competition is somewhat of a safe space for Pran and Pat - it is what they know, it is how they know to interact. Moreover, the first time they openly did not compete/worked together (writing and performing the song in high school), Pran was sent away. Pran says "When we are together [i.e., not competing], bad things happen." Competing is safer/more possible than not competing, because not competing is not sustainable with the families they have. This expresses itself in multiple ways: Pat and Pran pretending to fight at school, Pat and Pran not interacting at home, etc, but I wanted to highlight one particular aspect of their dynamic where this angle of competition is present:

Pran and Pat talk constantly about what they owe to each other. Pat owes Pran because he saved Pa all those years ago. When Pat tries to repay him, for example by offering to be the one who moves out, Pran refuses him. @dudeyuri wrote about this dynamic here: Pran uses competition and the excuse of "You Owe Me" to keep Pat in his life. He can't be Pat's friend because their families wouldn't allow that, and he definitely can't be his boyfriend, but Pran cares for Pat too much to lose him from his life completely. At the same time, Pran doesn't want to admit how desperately he wants Pat in his life (with Pran's feelings that would be too revealing), so he uses this competitive concept of owing something, of not being repaid satisfactorily, to keep Pat in his life. We talk about people inventing "intricate rituals" which give plausible deniability for things they ordinarily could not do or should not want in society (see this piece by artist Barbara Kruger) - Pat and Pran construct intricate rituals of debt to keep one another in their lives and intricate rituals of competition to allow themselves to pursue things they ordinarily would not dare to (e.g., using the Bet to flirt with each other). Speaking of the Bet, @telomeke-bbs (x) and @inventedfangirling (x, x) have has already written about how Pat utilized the competition of the Bet to get Pran comfortable with expressing his feelings and courting/being courted, and how he probably got the idea from Pran himself. Once again, competition is a safe space, a familiar space, for Pran and Pat.

This connects to another idea I've been tossing around: Pat and Pran are fluent in each other. They know each other very well and they rarely have to verbalize things explicitly to be understood (I talked about that with regards to the ep. 5 rooftop scene here). Pran and Pat's competitiveness is another example of this; to another couple, constant competition would take its toll (we see this a bit with Phupha and Tian in the Our Skyy 2 crossover episodes, for example), but to Pat and Pran, it's an important part of their puzzle. They've been living in this competitive dynamic since they were young, and they know each other's limits. For example, when Pran overhears Ming's comments and Pat is immediately concerned for him (see here), or how Pat and Pran keep their flirting with others (Ink and Wau) lighthearted despite trying to invoke jealousy in the other, and when it is too much, like when Pat gets hurt that Pran gave Wai his guitar to look after, the other realizes and reaches out to make amends. @thegayneurodivergentagenda points out a further example - despite competing and teasing Pran all the time, Pat always celebrates Pran's wins. The Bet, and how it utilizes competition, is another example of how well Pat and Pran know each other. Pat knows something competitive like that is the best way to get Pran engaged and feeling at ease.

Despite these shared experiences of competition, Pat and Pran have different relationships to competition. Both of them were pushed to be the best by their parents, but the differences in their parents and their personalities means they reacted to this upbringing and internalized it differently. Pran's parents wanted him to succeed (and to beat Pat), but in many ways this jived with his perfectionist, detail-oriented personality. Pat, on the other hand, was pushed to succeed by a father who had specific ideas of what success [and masculinity] looked like (fierce, excelling in contact sports and academic, a leader, etc.) which didn't necessarily suit Pat's personality (he is soft, clingy, loves to be cared for and to care for others, etc. - see @kattahj's thoughts here). We see how much easier it is, comparatively, for Pat to break free of his father's expectations and control: in the Our Skyy 2 episodes we learn that Ming is not very involved in Pat's life and Pat doesn't care what he thinks, and in episode 12 we saw how distant and strained Pat's relationship is with Ming (see @grapejuicegay's post on Pat and his father here, and @miscellar and others' here). Pran, meanwhile, stays closer to his mother and deeper under her influence for longer - in the Our Skyy 2 episodes he talks about how involved she is in his life (and there are a number of reasons for this, including his own personality, him being an only child, etc., as well as the similarities between his mother's dreams for him and his own).

For Pat, competing has never been something he was oriented towards naturally, so it is easier for him to remove the drive to win and the angst of competition to just enjoy the fun and sexiness of it all. Pat tells us he always lets his lover win - competing is, to him, a chance to demonstrate love. And how fitting for Pat that the clearest way he knows to show his love is to acquiesce - he's had the need to win hammered into his head from childhood, so of course to him the greatest thing you can do for someone you love is to give up the win. And of course that's how he interacts with people he loves, when the person he's loved since childhood (unknowingly or not) has been that person he was supposed to beat (see @transpat's beautiful post about Pat, Pran, and haq here).

For Pran, competition is encoded a bit deeper into his personality, so it retains a bit of an edge. And once again, that makes sense. Pran's personality is more suited to perfectionism and the drive to succeed, and Pran's been relying on competition as a way and a reason to keep his feelings for Pat at bay. Pat is delighted to be able to cede, while Pran is not at that point yet: he still has a desire to win, to prove himself as competent, which provides friction and hesitation in his relationship with Pat (we see him wrestling with this over the course of the Our Skyy 2 episodes). Despite this, competition remains something Pat and Pran do together, and Pran is slowly learning to let himself relax into it, to show vulnerability, especially as they begin to build themselves a life where competition is on their own terms.

Competition for Pat and Pran becomes a way to resolve or work through tensions (see Pat and Pran competing to see who can get Phupha's signature of approval on the architecture play first, which quickly becomes a cooperative effort - @miscellar details that here), or a way to demonstrate love and understanding of the other (see Pran challenging Pat to prove his love by publicly claiming him, something Pat has been longing to do - @dudeyuri details that here).

Ray: "I only drink when I'm stressed. You wouldn't understand."

Sand: *holds down multiple jobs trying to make ends meet, trying to pay back his mom's debt, is also a student*

Ray: "Like, look at my father. He's always fussing over me."

The way that's so... blatant. So explicit. Pran is admitting "this is how you interactions are reading to me" (romantic, sexual) and "this is making me feel things". He's not directly stating these things, to be fair, but it sure is honest and revealing in a way Pran generally isn't.

Pat and Pran don't say a lot explicitly - there's something about their communication style, born from how long they've known each other, that doesn't really use words? Pat can show up to fulfill a part in the play and give a speech ostensibly in that character's voice, and Pran knows the meaning of the gesture; Pran can feed Pat and wipe food from his mouth and Pat knows what he means. Heck even the whole bet was them saying "I like you" over and over, both of them knowing it, but neither using words directly.

So while "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me" isn't an explicit declaration of "I like you, and you flirting with me without meaning it hurts me," it's as close as it needs to be for these two.

They both know where they stand now. Pran might not have thought Pat realized what he was doing before, how his gestures and utterances were coming off, but Pran knows something has shifted recently. It was in Pat's behaviour when he came to Pran's dorm and asked pointed questions about Wai. It was in Pat's behaviour in the fight with Wai at the entrance to the dorm, the way Pat seemed like he had something important to say. Pran may not know exactly what or why something is different, but he knows there is something new at play.

And then on the rooftop, Pat is so... deliberate with his words. It's almost like a prepared speech, the way he outlines their history and goes into what Pran means for him. Pran listens to this, puts two and two together, and realizes that Pat does know how his actions have read; even if he's just realized it, he knows it now.

So Pran can be more explicit in his words too: "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me". So close to an actual confession, so close to saying outright "the way you act plays with my heart". It's such an open, desperate plea - Pran is so tired at this point of Pat saying and doing the sweetest things without even realizing the effect it was having, or that now Pat seems to be aware of the effect it is having and leaning into it though they both should know any relationship would be impossible. Pran's reached the end of his rope, this is the final confrontation they've been building to for a while but especially in the aftermath of the fight scene just prior: Pran has got to nip this in the bud.

Despite Pran saying that, pleading for Pat to stop, Pat keeps being soft. It seems like... he might mean it? He might want to stand by his words? And so Pran has to try and offer an out ("Do you want to be friends?"), hoping Pat will take it, however flimsy and transparent an excuse it is, so Pran doesn't have to reckon with the new information that Pat knows he's being flirty and wants to be, because he loves Pran back. Which would be the worst, because now Pran has to live with the confirmation that this could happen, if everything in their lives was different (if he wasn't Pran, if Pat wasn't Pat, if their parents weren't their parents). Happiness and love are so painfully within reach, but Pran knows that reaching for them will only end in pain (they are in a tragedy after all).

aka, last minute propaganda for the @bl-bracket best kiss competition.

Firstly, a literature review:

@kenmakaashi writes about the imbalance we usually see in long-term pining stories that is not present in this kiss (and how that relates to Bad Buddy’s overarching dismantling of imbalances).

@lurkingshan writes about episode 5 of Bad Buddy as a whole, as Pat realizes and re-contextualizes his relationship with Pran, and how the kiss catalyzes the rest of the series.

@miscellar and @aikinn write about the emotions Pat and Pran bring into the kiss, and how important the stubbornness of both characters is to their journey.

@telomeke-bbs breaks down the moment between the two kisses here, writing about how this represents Pran’s head vs. heart, and how he cedes to his wants, if only for a moment.

@neuroticbookworm writes about how the kiss perfectly encapsulates the emotions and experiences of Pat and Pran, and its greater resonance to Asian and queer Asian communities.

And now to add my two-cents worth:

There are a lot of dichotomies, opposites, tensions in Bad Buddy, and this episode rooftop kiss perfectly encapsulates all of them, while looking forward to the eventual resolution of these tensions through the rest of the show.

Firstly, the opposing trajectories of Pran and Pat's journeys to (queer) self-realization: Pran, who knows he is gay and has known about his feelings for Pat since at least high school; and Pat, who is just realizing he is queer and that he is into Pran and has been for some time.

The first few episodes of Bad Buddy show us more of Pran's story: we learn about his crush on Pat, we see how Pat’s casual compliments and downright flirtatious behaviour affected him, we watch him silently cry after Pat says he has a crush on Ink and then outlines all the reasons someone (Pran) should like him. Pran has been keeping his love for Pat, like a lot of his emotions, repressed and hidden for a long time now (see these posts by @lurkingshan (here) and @telomeke-bbs (here and here) for more on Pran's personality and emotional guarded-ness).

Episode 5 switches it up: now we get a closer look at Pat. As @lurkingshan wrote, episode 5 is about Pat realizing things – that Ink doesn’t like him; that, going by Pa’s Patented Four Ways to Tell if Someone Likes You, he probably likes Pran; that he is indeed jealous of Wai which confirms he likes Pran as not-a-friend. (see @grapejuicegay’s amazing post for why it took Pat so long to work out how he was feeling here).

In episode 5, we watch their two arcs collide: Pran continues to repress and not act on his feelings, while getting increasingly frustrated at the liberties Pat seems to take with them (Pran performing the song they wrote together in high school, and Pat being mad about that); while Pat has speed-run his realizations and is now full to bursting. In all the ways Pran is quiet and hidden, Pat is open and loud. Once Pat realizes he is in love with Pran, he can barely hide it. He comes close to spilling it in the scene where Pat fights with Pran and Wai outside the dorm (amazing meta on that scene by @shortpplfedup and @functionalasfuck here and here), and he lets it free up on the rooftop at the end of the episode, outlining their past history and what Pran means to him and confessing he doesn't want to be friends. Pran says "You have got to stop doing this to me" (Pat makes it so hard to stop loving him, to keep those feelings repressed and hidden), and Pat finishes his queer realization arc by kissing the boy he loves. Even the way the first kiss happens emulates their respective arcs and personalities: they get close to one another, in each other's space but not making a move, and then Pat is the first to break the tension and go in for the kiss. The hidden and the open collide.

We see this conflict, this tension between hidden and open, play out again in episode 8, when Pat keeps posting things on Instagram and toeing the line of secrecy and him and Pran fight about it, or in episode 9 where Pran indulges Pat and stages the public confession and claiming on the stairs (meta about that scene by @kenmakaashi here). These moments also exemplify the care and understanding Pat and Pran have for one another: Pat is willing to hide things and pretend to break up with Pran (firstly to get Wai to talk to him again and then at the end of episode 11 so they can hide from their families) to make Pran happier and more comfortable, and Pran is willing to be more open (allow Pat to post on Instagram, stage the claiming scene on the stairs, etc.) to make Pat happier and more comfortable - it's all about compromise, the middle ground. In the end, also Bad Buddy ends up somewhere in the middle between open and hidden: Pat and Pran are open about their feelings for each other and are happily in love, but they remain hidden from their family and friends, unable to be fully open.

Secondly, this kiss exemplifies the genre tensions inherent in Bad Buddy, between BL romcom and romantic tragedy. Over the course of the series, we the audience are not sure which genre, and specifically which genre-typical ending, Bad Buddy will follow. See my posts (here and here) and @chickenstrangers (here) on genre and tragedies and Bad Buddy.

Pat, over the course of episode 5, has realized he is in a romantic story. His interactions with Pran slide into context: those were tropes of the kind we see in romantic series (looming over someone, forced proximity, etc.). @chickenstrangers talked about this here: to Pat, this kiss is the classic confession kiss in a romcom or BL. After that type of kiss, the characters get together, the series will soon end happily (or there may be some episode 11 shenanigans before they ultimately reach a happy ending). Pat keeps the kiss meaningful and emotion-filled but short and sweet; to him, this will be the first kiss of many.

But to Pran, this is a different genre of story. Pran has known he is in a romantic narrative from the beginning (he’s had a crush on Pat since high school, if not before), but he doesn’t think this is a romcom. Pran looks at their family situation and recognizes another type of story: star-crossed lovers tragedies like Romeo & Juliet and Kwan & Riam. Pran says it himself, every time they are together, bad things happen (like Pran getting transferred). To Pran, this rooftop kiss is their last kiss, could only ever be their last kiss. Because of that, he can’t help but to lean into it, go in for a second kiss, to make it count. In this edit by @movementsofmylife they liken it to pre-nostalgia (“knowing you’re going to miss a moment once it’s gone and it makes you sad and desperate to hold onto or recreate it even when you’re still in that moment”). Pran thinks this is the closest he will ever get to having Pat and being happy because to him, the tragic ending to their story is inevitable.

In this kiss, the two genres Bad Buddy flirts with (BL and romantic tragedies – which will it emulate in the end?) come to a head. And it seems by the end of this rooftop scene that "romantic tragedy" might be the winning genre of the series: Pran walks away in tears, leaving Pat behind. For a moment, Pat was so caught up in the euphoria of being able to confess to Pran and having Pran reciprocate back that he forgot they live in a world with their parents, but Pran's tears, his leaving, and his avoidance of Pat through the next episode bring the barriers to their relationship back into focus. But there’s hope in this kiss too: Pran reciprocated. He’s spent half a lifetime repressing his feelings for Pat, he’s so good at denying his feelings… but we’ve seen how Pat is starting to wear on him. Despite it all, Pran can’t fall out of love with Pat, and despite it all, he can’t resist going in for another, deeper kiss. He might be able to walk away at the end of it, but we've seen the effect Pat has on him. Pat’s unrelenting good nature, the way he helps Pran at every turn (even when they are supposed to be enemies), and his sheer stubbornness and determination have gotten to Pran, and might give them a different ending after all.

In the end, Bad Buddy does end up somewhere between a BL romantic comedy and a tragedy: Pat and Pran are still together, but are trapped in a glass closet, still hiding from their family and most of their friends. It’s not a purely happy ending, it’s not a solely tragic ending, it’s somewhere in between, somewhere more realistic (there are a lot of queer people living in similar glass closets). Just like the rooftop kiss(es), Bad Buddy has something sweet, something hopeful, something joyful, meeting some melancholic, something fearful, and something hidden.

Finally, in the rooftop kiss scene Pat wears a shirt that says Baseball Mom, which is objectively hilarious but also deeply meaningful, and if that isn't the Bad Buddy Brand™ I don't know what is. See metas on Pat's Baseball Mom shirt by myself (here), and on Pat's shirts as a whole by @chickenstrangers (here), @thegayneurodivergentagenda (here), @respectthepetty (here), and @dribs-and-drabbles (here and here).

Bad Buddy is a funny show, but it doesn't hesitate to explore deeply emotional parts of the human (and especially queer) condition: intergenerational trauma (meta by @waitmyturtles), glass closets and homophobia (through a tale of feuding families), and more.

The episode 5 rooftop kiss scene brings together all the threads of Bad Buddy: the central characters, their personalities, and their history together; the external forces that threaten their love (their families' feud, their faculties' feud); the show's intertextual references to other narratives and genres (Romeo & Juliet/Kwan & Riam, BL, etc.); among others. I've focused here specifically on three opposing tensions in Bad Buddy (hidden vs open, romcom vs tragedy, and humour vs. emotional/allegorical meaning), and how this kiss scene shows them all as the opposing forces they are while hinting towards their future resolution, which is neither one nor the other but rather somewhere in the middle.

And really, Bad Buddy overall is a show that refuses to do one or the other (the way it both subverts BL tropes and is a BL, or its handling of seme vs. uke, come to mind), instead finding a more realistic middle ground where real nuance and meaning lie.

@waitmyturtles' posts over the last few episodes of Only Friends (1, 2) have got me thinking.

There's so much casual cruelty among the friend group of Boston, Cheum, Mew, and Ray - all the little pointed comments or assumptions that always jump to the worst faith/most uncharitable conclusion. Mew's birthday at the bar was ripe with them - Cheum happily saying everyone has a lover, even "a heartless slut like Boston," while Ray is sitting right there; Mew assuming Ray was in the bathroom to get high, then lecturing him and saying he won't live past 30, etc. - but we've seen it throughout the show. Remarking to the professor that Boston won't do anything, as expected... not worrying about how Ray got home or why he isn't answering his calls because he is probably drunk... and so on. In their interactions with each other they've come to tolerate, to expect, meanness and toxicity.

The newcomers to the friend group aren't exempt either - look at what Sand puts up with from Ray, or what Nick puts up with from Boston. I thought it was interesting that the most sincere and heartfelt apology in episode 7 was from Sand to Nick - Sand really seemed to grasp how his comments and actions hurt Nick, even if he doesn't agree with his life choices. It puts into perspective the behaviour of the core four's friend group, where the apologies last episode were mostly insincere or forced in some way. Sand and Nick seem to have lived a life with less of this mundane meanness around, compared to the friend group - they aren't used to treating each other poorly.

The moment that really caught my attention this episode was Boston at the pool fight scene saying "It was unintentional" when pushed to apologize to Mew for sleeping with Top. Mew is pissed ("Unintentional, my ass"), but I think in a lot of ways it was! Boston wanted to sleep with Top. He did. End of story. Obviously, Boston also has his superiority complex about Mew and they have their ideological war around sex going on, and sleeping with Mew's boyfriend does contribute to Boston "winning" in those areas, but Boston also just doesn't think of consequences, he doesn't think about other people. That's what this friend group is all about: YOLO and living in the moment, being self-absorbed.

However, even if the results of their actions were "unintentional," that doesn't absolve Boston or any of the other characters from the hurt they cause. Impact vs. intention. Boston might not have intended to get Mew SO upset at his sleeping with Top (Boston has a different mindset than Mew around sex and exclusivity), Mew might not have intended to drum up Top's fire trauma when he burned the sketch, Ray might not intend to wound Sand with every comment about his lifestyle, but they need to realize/learn that other people are coming at things with their own baggage and through their own lenses and that they need take accountability for their actions and words, even if they themselves don't see harm in them. What might not be a big deal to them might be a big deal to someone else.

Pat's father speaks disparagingly of Pran and his family while Pran is trapped under the bed hiding. Pat tries to get him to stop talking and defend Pran's family ("They're not that bad"), then tries to hustle his dad out as fast as possible, turning back to reassure Pran before he's even gotten the door all the way closed.

And Pran knows Pat is going to try to comfort him, so before Pat has said more than a syllable Pran's already telling him to forget it, that he's sorry for making things harder.

Just... they've NEVER been enemies. Pat never wants Pran to hurt (and vice versa), and Pran knows Pat never wants him to hurt (and vice versa). They know each other so well, they are the only people who know this experience. They've been in it, together, from the beginning.

I've been loving watching Neo play Boston, and the scene when Ray comes to Boston's house to confront him about sleeping with Top stuck out to me in particular, so I figured I would ~dig~ into it a bit. This conversation felt like Boston cycling through various approaches as he tried to gain the upper hand and hit back at Ray, so I've tried to pinpoint when those approaches start and what distinguishes them.

"Ton, you son of a bitch." "Ray. What the hell?" "How could you be so filthy. Will you do filthy shit to all of your friends?" "What shit are you talking about? What did I do?"

Ray walks into Boston's weirdly shabby chic house and doesn't waste time laying into him. Boston is not unfamiliar with confrontation so he knows better than to volunteer details- better to ask questions and find out what Ray knows (or thinks he knows) before getting defensive or fessing up to something. Boston likes collecting information, he likes knowing where people stand.

"You hooked up with Top! What a douchebag." "How did you know that? Who told you?"

Ray doesn't notice because he's too furious, but Boston is genuinely taken aback. He freezes then shifts side to side, he looks like he did in the shower when Mew came in looking for Top; this is a moment of real panic. Boston is too surprised to play dumb or deny it. Crucially, he doesn't even try the "yeah sure, before Mew and Top got together. what of it?" strategy Top tries at the end of the episode. Instead, Boston is more quiet than we've ever heard him before when he asks, "How did you know that?" and then, quickly, almost frantically, "Who told you?".

Not only is Ray's information good, it's something he should have NO way of knowing. Ray doesn't have the wherewithal to get this information himself, so he must have gotten it from someone else. The fact that Ray, of all people (drunken, incompetent Ray), knows something Boston tried hard to keep on the down low is not good. Boston's used to being the one who holds all the cards, so being out of the loop is disconcerting and alarming.

"Doesn't matter how I knew it! He is your friend. Mew is your friend!"

Ray is preoccupied with not revealing his sources and being angry (he steps closer into Boston's space and shoves him) and gives no indication that he caught Boston's little moment of weakness. This gives Boston some time to pull himself together and pick a course of action.

Approach #1: Manipulate

Downplay.

"So? Top and I screwed before they even started dating. Is it so weird to screw again? I just wanted more. Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled."

Caught off-guard, Boston has confirmed Ray's accusations. But Ray hasn't accused him of sleeping with Top recently, just at some point (unless there is a nuance in the Thai I am missing). In Boston's panic he now confesses to sleeping with Top after he got together with Mew - Ray already knows that, so it doesn't change the interaction, but this is information Boston gave up without being pressed. He's rattled.

Boston's first approach is to downplay the situation. He and Top have already had sex, what is one more time? At the end of the day Boston's hasn't tried to steal anyone's boyfriend, it didn't stop Mew and Top from falling in love, bing bang boom everyone is content. Boston tries to position Ray as the weird one for not understanding why this is fine. He even pulls out the puppy dog eyes - how could a man with these eyes do anything truly harmful?

Note also how Boston says, "I let them love each other" -> Boston sees himself as the one pulling the strings, he is the one in control. Even when trying to minimize his impact he can't help but drop a little reference to his own superiority.

Probably not Boston's best play in this situation, given how mad Ray is and how emotional he is about Mew, but Boston did just have his world rocked so we can forgive him the sub-optimal initial strategy.

Approach #2: Mansplain

Admit some fault, but smooth it over.

"You're selfish. Damn it, he's your friend. What did Mew do to you? You know that Mew and Top love each other!" "Hear me out, okay? I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong."

Boston hasn't convinced Ray this is nothing to get worked up over so he needs a new strategy. Ray is sensitive about Mew, so it would be good, would help defuse the situation, if Boston can convince Ray this was not about Mew specifically. To do so, Boston assures Ray he doesn't hate Mew* and takes a little bit more of the blame ("I was just needy!"), but he attributes most of the issue to the timing.

*Note how Boston says "I don't hate Mew at all". Ok Boston... Ray just asked what Mew did to you. You were the one who brought hate into this... Yet another case of Boston telling on himself. While Boston is hung up on Top, he's hung up on Mew too and their comparison war of ideologies they have going on.

Ray has escalated the conversation by stepping closer and even shoving at Boston, so Boston changes his body language as well. He goes from neutral and shrugging to more engaged, leaning in closer, making direct eye contact, and raising his hands in surrender. Boston signals that he is being sincere and non-threatening, just explaining logically.

Approach #3: Manwhore

Ok. Now it's personal.

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"Timing, my ass. The point is your slutty ass just sleeps with anyone." "Not anyone. I picked him."

Ray isn't backing down - he takes a step forward and escalates it to a personal insult. Now Ray has insinuated that Boston is slut who will sleep with anyone, when Boston takes pride in being a slut in such high demand he can afford to be choosy, he can pick whoever he wants. Boston ducks his head briefly and absorbs the hit, widening his eyes like "did this bitch just...". When he bounces back up, his demeanor has completely changed. Ray didn't listen to logic, and Boston is done playing around. He is a manwhore, and proud of it, and now it's time to go for the jugular.

Boston immediately switches to a cocky, confident tone. He's unapologetic for his actions (look at that little shrug!!). Boston could have his pick of anyone and he chose Top. He doesn't actually care what Ray or Mew or anyone else thinks of that choice; Boston gets what Boston wants.

"And how are you involved in this? Oh! You're playing a good friend who is always so protective of Mew. Honestly, I think you're glad that that happened. You've always waited for your chance. This is in your favour. You're waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he's weak. You will get that, man."

Thus far Boston has been on the defensive, reacting to Ray's accusations. Now he's on the offensive: Boston loosens up, gets fake casual, and leeches manufactured concern into every syllable. He's not trying to be convincingly, disarmingly sincere anymore, he's being snarky and he wants Ray to feel the contempt dripping off each syllable. Boston leans in, pats Ray condescendingly on his shoulder. Now Ray is off kilter, watching Boston warily. Boston uses Ray's feelings for Mew against him again and smiles like he did in Sand and Nick's apartment that night, the satisfaction of knowing he's hitting hard and causing damage.

Approach #4: Manslaughter

Scorched earth.

Gif by @chickenstrangers

"Ton you motherfucker! What a scumbag. Say that again." "If you tell him, then you're as evil as me. Don't act like you mean well while deep down you hope they will break up. It's disgusting! You should even thank me big time for getting you out of the friendzone."

Boston has dropped almost all his masks now. He's done trying to convince Ray it's nothing, or justify his actions, or defend his slutty honour, or attack Ray with faux concern. He's smiling, even after being punched in the face and knocked to the floor. He hit a nerve, like the night at Sand and Nick's. He's turned this around, now it's Ray hurt and reeling. Ray looks nervous, like he's just seeing Boston for the first time, as the latter sits on the ground and grins up at him.

Eyes locked on Ray, Boston gets back up and advances right into his face, smacking him on the shoulder, barely able to hold back the fury in his voice. Now he's being threatening: if Ray says anything, he's the evil one (or, at least, as evil as Boston, as evil as everyone thinks Boston is). Really, Ray should be thanking Boston for this opportunity, not coming into his house and accosting him, but maybe Boston will be lenient and let it slide this time.

I think that it is telling that Boston's last move in this confrontation is "if you tell him you'll be as evil as me"- out of options, he makes a blatant threat. He's been insinuating that Ray revealing this information is self-serving, trying to make Ray feel bad by bringing up his feelings for Mew; now the gloves are off and Boston serves it to Ray straight: it's evil, it's disgusting. I think it's interesting that Boston doesn't go for a strategy he's tried before with Ray at Sand and Nick's house, when Ray was horrified that Boston took photos of him and Mew kissing and Boston said "What? I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments. Was I wrong?" Contrast that with Boston here, where he says he's been "evil". I don't think Boston thinks there is anything wrong with his actions in either case, but he's not pretending to be ignorant of how other people feel about his actions and he's not goading Ray playfully. Boston is spitting mad and lashing out and I think that reveals how rattled and out of control he feels. At Sand and Nick's he had all the cards, he could afford to be playful and antagonistic. Here he's been confronted with information he never intended to get out and he's trying desperately to shut it down and regain some control.

The Aftermath

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"You asshole! Fucking jerk." ... "Damn it!"

Ray leaves, having lost this battle, and Boston allows himself a moment to gloat, satisfied in his victory and the pain he caused, before dropping his last mask. He sinks down into the chair, hits out, and swears. Ray might have left and Boston might have had the last laugh, but Ray knows about Top and Boston and Boston is pissed. I imagine that conversation felt like a fight for his life, especially after he started off so wrong-footed (allowing cracks to show in his armour, revealing freely he and Top slept together after Mew and Top were together).

Boston is the Hunter, he is the voyeur, he is the one who knows everything (or at least, he thinks he does - see @wen-kexing-apologist's brilliant post). He doesn't like being wrong, he doesn't like being weak, he doesn't like when he isn't the one in control. Now someone has information on him, information he worked hard to keep quiet. Boston doesn't mind scrutinizing other people for weaknesses and blackmail material, but he draws hard boundaries around himself and gets mad when they get crossed (think of how he reacts to Gap taking videos of him without his consent, or sending him messages, or finding him in person - all things Boston has done to his so-called "friends"). I imagine there's an element of "it's Ray of all people" who caught him out going on too - Boston is supposed to be the one with the read on Ray, Ray is supposed to be the drunk one who doesn't know what is going on.

What was Boston's end goal here? I think he wanted to defuse the situation because an angry and vindictive Ray is unpredictable - if Boston can calm him down he can better control Ray. This is why he went for manipulating and explaining and smoothing things over first before bringing up Ray's feelings for Mew. He tried to get Ray to drop it and when that didn't work, he turned Ray potentially sharing the information into a selfish and cruel act, trying to make Ray feel doubt and shame.

Boston doesn't want this information out yet. I think it's partly because he wants to be in control, he wants to be the one who decides when, where, and how Mew gets told... if he intends to tell Mew at all. Boston's been stealthy this whole time - he told Mew to be wary of Top at the beginning, but after that he's kept his comments out of it. He even was supportive of Mew when he phoned right before having sex with Top the first time. I've been chalking this up to Boston wanting to "beat" Mew "fairly": Boston and Mew have pitted their respective ideologies about sex against one another and while Boston has been trying to undermine Mew and break his heart the whole time (choosing Top, someone Boston thinks would never have interest in a long-term relationship, especially one without sex; seducing Top, etc.), he doesn't want this to be known. Boston doesn't want it to look like he rigged the game, he wants it to seem like Mew failed organically his approach to sex and relationships (and by extension, Mew himself) really are inferior (and because Boston's are superior), but Boston needs to be in control so he can't just leave it up to chance. I wonder if it has something to do with Top as well: if Mew finds out about Top and Boston hooking up, Top will be pissed at Boston for messing things up, and Boston will lose any chance of hooking up with or having control over Top again.

@waitmyturtles says Boston is the most honest character on the show, brutally so. I think that if he had had his wits more about him at the beginning of this confrontation he wouldn't have confessed to sleeping with Top recently, at least until Ray brought it up himself, but that's withholding information not lying. Throughout this whole conversation, even when he is trying to downplay or justify, Boston doesn't lie, or at least never quite:

"Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled." -> I don't think Boston is HAPPY that Top and Mew continued to be together after he slept with Top, but they are, and Boston is either trying to convince himself that it's because he "let" them (gave up on pursuing Top, not that Top shut him down) or he's somehow internalized this as true.

"I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong." -> Boston doesn't think it is weird for him to want or have Top again, but he's willing to concede that some people might have a problem with his timing. I also don't think he's quite lying about not hating Mew, there's definitely SOMETHING going on there but is envy/jealousy/insecurity perhaps the better word?