#raizel

Chapter 2: Fatum me ad te duxit

“I wonder… Did fate finally grant them mercy or another punishment disguised as mercy?”

She was so absorbed in reading the book that she didn't seem to realize she voiced her thoughts out loud.

“How would we know when you're the only one reading it?” The Chairman's voice cut through her train of thoughts.

“Ah, but I remember I only said to read it to Raizel” She teasingly replied, still glued to her book.

“I am already curious as to what this book is about” Raizel interjected immediately before their bickering escalated further again.

“Alright, alright, I'll finally read this one.” She sighs and adjusted her posture, looking at the both of them. “Ready?”

“We've been ready since probably a hundred years ago” The Chairman playfully replied cross-arms.

She glared at him and flip to the very first page of the book which she and the Chairman had already read.

This time, she will read it out loud for Raizel to hear.

To my dearest rose,

My love for you transcends time. It turned me into a sinner that continues to defy the heaven's will. It became my salvation as well as my own demise. My dearest, our love may be the reason for fate to tear us apart but it will also be the reason for us to meet again no matter how many lifetimes it may take.

When the day comes when you are no longer by my side, may the cruel absolute will of fate take pity on us and bring us both together once more for my soul will keep calling you till reality has no other choice but to bend to my desire…

And that desire… my one and only desire will always be about you.

I wrote this book for you, just like many more of my books that are in your possession. But this time, this book is the story of us, the story of my love and devotion for you. Some of the contents of this book will be a surprise to you if you finally get your hands on this. This will serve as a witness of our past. Of my past. I don't know how long it will take, how many years, how many civilizations will rise and fall till this book finds its way to you.

But when it does… I hope… You don't remember me anymore.

“Huh?!” She frowned. Disblelief laced beneath her voice.

“After all that and the author didn't even want to be remembered?!” Her brows are knitting with every second she stares at the words in front of her.

“Well, the only way to find out why is to read through it”

Her lips parted slightly, brows still knit together trying to process the information she just learned. “You are right” She sighs and flips the page. This time, there's no going back to uncovering the hidden truth.

But given her circumstances in life, she can't pursue some of the things she wanted to do. Some of her research and studies needs massive funding to continue. She can't even go to as many libraries and museums as she would like. So she thought of a solution. She would get rich. Rich enough to fund her the life she always wanted. Rich enough to buy as many books and research materials as possible. Rich enough she can finally get her and her family away from the hell they come to call home.

There was once a girl whose curiosity turned her into an ambitious human with an insatiable thirst for power and knowledge. Her love for research and learning ultimately made her question a lot of things — even the ones that are blasphemous to a lot of humans. The more her questions were answered, the more her mind was filled with another set of questions born from those answers.

Then she met a man — a beautiful, tall, elegant man with a smile that can captivate hearts and a mind so brilliant you would want to spend hours talking to him and listening to his own thoughts.

They immediately clicked. Exchanging research articles they find interesting. Exchanging commentary about different books and movies they consumed and recommended to each other. It seemed perfect. Not until his fascination with her turned into a dangerous obsession.

She noticed the signs. Of course she did. She turned a blind eye to it. As long as he never gets in my way… She thought. Oh only if she knew.

I was standing by the window of my well decorated gilded cage, looking above the moon that shone so brightly in the vast darkness. A wishful thought crossed my mind, “How I wish the moon could lead me out of here” As if sensing my despair, the winds gently caressed my skin. A small smile played on my lips as I hugged myself while nodding to the moon.

I looked back at the door mere inches away from where I was standing. “So close yet impossible to reach” my eyes are glued to the door, I bit my lip till I tasted the coppery metallic taste of blood as I immediately brushed off the idea of being able to escape my room. I had tried too many times and yet, I was still trapped. The last time I did almost successfully escape, my fiancee caught me and made sure to put chains on my ankles for a whole week.

I've been out of those chains. I was free to roam again in that small room and looked out my window again. I could try escaping again but I would rather not risk it anymore. After all, facing my fiancee's wrath is something I would never even wish upon my own enemy. He almost broke one of my legs, but after pleading for mercy for who knows how long, he eventually put my ankles on chains. Less cruel than having a broken ankle, I suppose.

But tonight, something deep within me is screaming at me to risk it and run.

Run. Run away from here. Run and never look back.

Fear and rebellion mixing into one. It's nauseating. I can feel my stomach churning at the mere idea of running outside and trying to escape. The more I entertain the idea of escaping, the more my stomach twists, accompanied by my heartbeat that was too loud; it's almost as if it was pounding inside my ears.

What if he caught up again like he always does?

What if he actually decided to broke my bones if he got me?

What if he does something worse than what he had put me through?

All those what ifs were clouding my mind. I clutched my chest and tried to gasp for air. There's more of “what will he do when he catches me” than “what if I actually made it?” Hope is such a cruel thing, isn't it? But you can never hope if you never dare to risk.

With one hand still clutching my chest tightly, I used my free hand to hold onto the window stool as I tried to steady my rapid breathing. I looked out the window and looked above the moon once again, looking for comfort. Ever since I've been held captive by my own fiancee, I never knew the exact date or time. No calendar, no clocks. I've manually counted the days in my head since the day he decided to lock me away from the world. And, if my calculations were correct, that day was the third day of March.

As I pondered over the weeks I've spent locked up in my gilded cage. I noticed the moon appearing reddish as minutes went by. “A blood moon?” My shallow breathing slowly turned to normal. I couldn't help but beam with excitement as I finally witnessed the lunar eclipse with my own eyes. I've only heard about it on the news and saw the pictures on the internet. But witnessing it with my own eyes? That was the first.

Well, it seems like the only good thing that has ever happened to me since being a prisoner of my fiancee's obsession was seeing the lunar eclipse. How beautiful.

Can I delude myself into thinking there is still hope? Since my long time wish of seeing the lunar eclipse was finally granted… Will my wish to escape be granted too?

As if sensing my thoughts, a loud thud suddenly echoed throughout the room. I instantly tensed, not knowing where it came from all of a sudden. Could it be that he's back? My entire body was locked in place. A shiver ran through my spine at the thought of the man. Just a simple thought of him is enough to make my entire body tremble with my mind drifting off somewhere far away from my present self.

No… no… please don't ruin this peace.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

After mustering enough courage, I tried to walk as quietly and as slowly as possible, scanning the floor, trying to look around the room for the potential source of the sound. I checked around the bed and found my journal laying on the ground. Confused, I picked it up and stared at it with my brows tightly knit together.

But I placed it on the nightstand?

While pondering how it suddenly knocked over, two small yellow sticky notes that had been sandwiched between the pages of the journal fell onto the floor.

I bent over and read it. I was shocked to see the note written on it. This… can't be a coincidence.

‘Hope is cruel, but at least you try.'

'Rather die with my lungs burning from exhaustion of trying than to die helpless.’

My hands were shaking as I grip the small notes harder till it crumpled in my hands.

I looked back at the door once again, a glimmer of hope slowly stirred within my heart. But the fear is as massive as ever. All those what ifs were clouding my mind.

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing, placing my shaking hands close to my heart while gripping my journal.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I walked towards the door, slowly, testing my resolve to continue the gamble I am placing myself into.

The moment I came face to face with the door, the tremors of my hands were getting worse, it was getting harder for me to touch the doorknob without rattling it in the process. If my fiancee was actually on the other end of the door, then he would know that I was trying to open it even before I even got the chance.

Alright. You can do this. You can do this. Please, you can do this. I pleaded to myself. Eyes tearing up. Trembling hands hanging above the doorknob once again.

With one final heavy sigh, I firmly pressed the doorknob with one hand while I used my other hand as an anchor to ease the shaking. I slowly twisted the doorknob while holding my breath, trying to listen to any sound indicating there's another presence in this house besides me.

The creak of the door made my heart beat faster and made my palms sweaty. God what an awful sound.

I peeked towards the tiny gap between the door, unsure whether to continue opening it.

Nothing. No one's standing behind the door. No other noise than my own shaky breath.

I glanced back towards my room, paranoia flooding my mind, imagining my fiancee appearing from the back all of a sudden.

As soon as the coast is clear. I decided to open the door wider and found no one in the house other than my own shadow.

Slowly, I walked towards the stairs. One step at a time, still contemplating whether to continue or to go back to my room before he spotted me. But before I can even think of backing out, I already made it to the foyer.

The massive door is standing right in front of me. Excitement finally bubbling up my chest. I finally made it out of the room! And yet, despite all the efforts, my mind won't stop pestering me, asking me what if he's on the other side of this door?

No. No. No. Risk it! Risk it now!

With a heavy exhale, I pushed the main door open. To my surprise no one's waiting for me outside. My vision blurred as tears finally streamed down my face. My trembling hands immediately flew to my mouth, trying to silence the scream I wanted to let out.

Oh god… I'm going home… I'm going home!

My barefoot touched the moss, the ticklish sensation making me smile, It's been so long. I looked up and saw how the reddish coppery color finally covered the entirety of the moon. Please, guide me away from here. I whispered to the moon.

I scanned the area looking for the path that could lead me towards the highway. Anything but here. I started walking fast, not trying to waste anymore of my limited time. My fiancee would be back at any minute, I needed to make sure he wouldn't be able to catch me.

The forest seems to be a never-ending path of nothing but trees and darkness. My fiancee really made sure to place a home where no one would even think of going, what more of building a home. Right in the middle of nowhere. What a fucking genius, anger simmered within my heart as realization hit me with how calculated my fiancee was and how he probably made sure for my family not to track me down, believing that I've been living the life I wanted with him.

I knew how everything was planned, how the house that became my gilded cage was built even before my fiancee orchestrated the events leading to our first “personal” meeting. My fiancee made sure to let me know through confessions I never even wanted to hear while he's busy trying to play the “doting husband” role he believes to be his part.

As past memories and confessions played in my mind, I heard a loud thunderous shout from the house. My body jolted immediately, shaking aggressively. My heart beats aggressively, it feels as if it's threatening to free itself from my body. I was locked in place. My mind almost attempted to shut down but I refused to let fear take over me. I've already come this far, might as well run as fast as possible.

‘Rather die with my lungs burning from exhaustion of trying than to die helpless.’

I can hear my fiancee calling my name angrily and desperately. That same anger I never wanted to face ever again. So I ran without looking back, and so did he. The blood moon along with the entire forest becoming the sole witness to my pursuit of my first freedom.

I've been running nonstop, branches and rocks almost caught my feet and yet I never falter. I don't know where I am headed, but I just knew I needed to get as far away as possible.

With how dark the entire place was, I didn't even notice that there’s a steep right in front of me. I slipped, my body rolling across the mosses and branches scattered everywhere. I felt a sharp stinging pain strike my abdomen while another sharp object found its way into my eyes. And when my body reached the end of the steep, my back hit against a large rock. Pain shot through every corner of my body and my skull. I bit my lips in an attempt to silence my scream. Every bone in my body feels crushed, I can't even open one of my eyes. I could feel the wet liquid coming from my eyes, my temples, my abdomen, even in my legs yet I can't move.

For minutes, I didn't do anything other than lay down in the moss, trying to lay sideways, hugging my exhausted battered body, crying uncontrollably. What did I do to deserve this? I whispered in resignation. My body has already been weak even before this escape attempt. Weak from all the merciless punishment and twisted love my fiancee forced upon me.

I can hear my fiancee's frantic voice getting closer and closer, echoing through the vast forest. As I lay there exhausted, my one eye, as blurry as it was, inspected my dirty wounded hands down to my torn silky white nightgown. Blood was seeping through my upper abdomen where a glass shard pierced its way. There were cuts and wounds on my forearms and legs as well.

I tried to look up at the moon. Laughing like a maniac while tears continuously roll down my face. Isn't that funny? My white nightgown turned into a bloody mess as if mirroring the lunar eclipse. I laughed to herself. At that moment, I felt nothing. Despite my hysterical laughing, I felt nothing.

And when my laughing stopped, I finally asked the question that I dreaded to ever ask myself.

Is this… the end?

My thoughts that were loud just moments ago were completely silent. No thoughts were running in my mind. I could feel nothing. How strange, I was trembling with anxiety just moments ago and now I feel numb. I couldn't even feel my injuries. My eyes are fixed on my wounded hands, is this my hands? This feels like a dream. It was such a strange feeling, feeling as if you're possessing someone's body that you couldn't even control.

And so, I closed my eyes. Resigning to whatever fate awaits me.

If it's death, please… make it quick. I whispered one last time before darkness swallowed my vision.

Unbeknownst to the battered, crumpled me, the glass shards that surrounded my body reflected the divine beauty of the blood moon. A huge light covered my entire frame, casting a blinding glow.

As soon as my senses and consciousness came back, the first thing I noticed was the cold hardness pressed to my body.

“Hmm? Something's wrong” I thought to myself. As much as I wanted to open both of my eyes, I couldn't. My other eye was injured. My eyesight was already a piece of shit so this makes matters worse for me.

Still, I tried. Slowly, I opened one of my eyes, blurry than ever. As exhausted as I was, I could still feel the moss that was glued to my body and I could still smell the earthy moldy scent of the forest. But all of a sudden, I felt lighter, and the moisty moss from before changed into a hard solid wood. I knew the feeling of a wooden floor on my back, all too well.

Did I pass out? Did he… oh no.

My vision slowly cleared, I finally tilted my stiffened head and took a glance at the ceilings and it looked… unfamiliar. The color, the chandelier hanging from it, even the smell of the room was different from my own.

Did someone helped me? Or is this another one of his rooms?

I painfully swallowed the lump in my throat, still trying to make sense of the ceiling I was looking at. I tried to help myself get up by anchoring my elbow and lifting my upper body but I was greeted by an immense level of pain in every part of my being — especially my abdomen.

A loud piercing scream tore through me, I was caught off guard by the pain and my body fell to the ground with the side of my skull suffering more from the sudden impact. My lungs were burning with every breath. I clutched my abdomen, trying to gasp for air, when an unfamiliar face suddenly came into my view.

A dark haired man with eyes as red as ruby suddenly obstructed my vision. He's kneeling in front of me, and as soon as his outstretched hands reached me, I immediately grab onto his sleeves.

How strange, what is this feeling?

“Don't… please… don't” My voice cracked, it's too painful to even talk, and yet I kept pleading towards this unknown man. Desperation clawing through every fiber of my being, “Don't… give me… to him”

“…please” was all I could say as drowsiness finally consumed me. My heavy eyes finally closed and before that…

“Sleep. You are safe here” was the last thing I heard and everything went silent.

The man looked at the glass shards surrounding her, as well as the shard that pierce right through her abdomen. All the shards reflect the blood moon hanging above the sky outside his window. As the moon gradually dims from being red, the man embraces the frame of the woman lying helplessly inside his home.

What could possibly bring you here.