#rainflowers

I don’t want this to end.

“Stop laughing at me… my hair won’t cooperate okay” Camellia complained, maybe she needed to cut it, her curls only ever seemed to grow outward and not down. Her complaint was lighthearted followed by a smile.

“You look adorable when you’re flustered like that” Jia laughed, full and heartily. Camellia responded by poking Jia’s cheek, repeatedly with just enough force to make it irritating but not painful. Jia continued to laugh trying to bat Camellia’s prodding fingers away.

But when do I ever get what I want.

The two continued to laugh, grabbing each other’s hands and pushing against each other. The tension in Jia’s arms lessened for the brief second, causing Camellia to be sent flying forward by her own force. The two clutching hands rolled down the bank together, closer to the river’s edge. Jia landed on top of Camellia, head on her chest… she laid there still. She could hear Camellia’s heartbeat, her breath’s slowing after the laughter they shared, rolling down the hill. Jia closed her eyes and basked in her warmth -- she was so warm. Camellia placed a hand on Jia’s back, in-between where her wings usually where. Jia was too tired and weak to maintain their integrity.

Maybe it’s because you were one of the first to ever see me.

Jia couldn’t help but cry, she didn’t want to cry. Camellia gasped at Jia’s emotional response.

The first to ever offer me a hand and ask if I was okay,

“Hey… are you crying? Are you okay? Well… obviously you’re not okay if you’re crying.” Camellia stumbled over her words, biting her lip. She was terrible at comforting people and she knew it. Camellia stroked Jia’s head, until Jia looked up, eyes wide, full of tears. “Did you hurt yourself? Was I too rough? I’m sorry.”

The first to ever tell me that I was important.

“I don’t want to leave again… I hate I have to leave you like this, a year together then another apart.” Jia sobbed, she gripped Camellia’s shoulders, her face above hers. Camellia knew how much she hated leaving, not only because she had to leave Camellia but because of why she had to leave. Jia hated being a Leannan Sidhe, she hated having to be some egotistical idiot’s muse, pandering to him… only to drink his blood dry when the monstrosity of his greed finally took over.

“I love you, you’ll be fine.” Camellia responded, she gave a small smile and wiped a tear from Jia’s cheek. Camellia wanted to cry too. Seeing Jia cry, so full of dread and not being able to fix it was the most excruciating thing she’d ever experience. Camellia usually offered emotional support by offering solutions, for this there were no solutions.

“It’s not about me!”

Can that be called love at first sight? Because that’s what I’m going to call it.

Camellia lowered her hand at Jia’s yell, she bit her lip harder this time. At a loss of what to say. Jia let out a shaky sigh and stopped looking Camellia in the eye for a moment.

You were beautiful.

“Camellia one day I’m going to leave and when I come back… you’ll have forgotten me.” Jia sniffled, her voice was low, if the two hadn’t been so close Camellia wouldn’t have heard her. Camellia gently grabbed Jia’s chin and turned her to face her again.

“That is the most absurd and impossible thing I’ve ever heard in my life… I’d sooner forget my left arm than you.” Camellia was concerned, out of all the anxieties she’d listened to from Jia… this had never been one of them. “Did something happen? Why an earth would you ever think that?” Jia noticed Camellia’s eyes becoming glossy, Jia sniffed and tried to force her tears back.

You are beautiful.

I don’t want it to end like this.

Jia let go of Camellia’s shoulders, got up from on top of her and sat on the bank, she stared at the small tremors of water caused by the agitated fish. “Jia, please talk to me… we always talk, we never leave anything unsaid.” Camellia sat up, next to her, placing her hand on top of Jia’s. Her expression was firm and determined, partly because she was trying to figure out what could have caused Jia’s outburst but also because she was trying to hold back her own sadness.

“I was being silly, the night air and hunger has me all dizzy. But I want to say I’m sorry but also thank you, thank you for always being there for me but sorry for all the trouble that’s caused you.” Jia explained, Camellia did the only thing she could think to do in that moment. She kissed her, so deeply and so urgently, although Jia kissed back Camellia could tell she was hesitant. There was something she wasn’t telling her.

Camellia opened her eyes, her hands were holding Jia’s cheeks, their noses were still pressed against each other. Jia’s eyes were closed.

“You don’t have to thank me for being in love with you, you never have to thank someone for loving you. I’ve never expected you to be thankful, guilty or sorry for anything ever because if I didn’t want to do any of this I wouldn’t have done it. Things have been complicated between us but we always fix things, there’s nothing we can’t fix together. Of course, it hurts me when you leave but because I worry about you, because I want to protect you and help you solve all the problems you can’t solve on your own. I feel so powerless that I can’t fix this.”

But the prerequisite of a beginning is an eventual ending.

“Do you remember when I first met you, that day was almost one of the worst days of my life but then, you made it the best.” Camellia explained, Jia opened her eyes and saw now that it was Camellia who was crying. “You always make everyday the best…” Camellia gave an awkward, laugh in-between tears and pulled away, so their faces weren’t touching anymore.

She rolled up the sleeve of her blouse to reveal her forearm and the matching tattoo they had, a tulip, which was glowing a vibrant pink. Jia revealed her forearm and held it next to hers, also pink. Love, trust, safety… one of the most positive and beautiful of the spectrum.

Camellia had infused the ink of these tattoos with magic, so the tattoo would glow or change colour depending on the other’s emotions. Camellia’s signified how Jia was feeling and vice versa. Camellia beamed at Jia, Jia let out a sigh of content and she clasped Camellia’s hand. “So lets make a promise like we always do!” Camellia mused.

Jia felt the shudders of Camellia’s magic in her hand, an almond branch formed where the two had been joined. Jia holding one end and Camellia holding the other. Camellia had told Jia that almond meant promises. Whenever they needed to make an important promise Camellia would make an almond branch, they would hold it together, recite the promise and then they would put it in a vase. The vase contained branches full of all the promises they made, if the promise was broken the leaves on the branch would die, if the promise was kept they would remain green. The result was an odd bundle of leafy sticks in Camellia’s kitchen, not even one had died yet.

Even though I hate endings, it must be as beautiful as the beginning.

“Jia?”

“Camellia?”

But an ending as beautiful as you when we first met?

“I promise to not forget you while you’re gone.”

Now that’s going to be difficult.

Jia could see the pink on her arm fading.

“And I promise to kiss you for the longest I ever have when I get back” Jia let go of the branch and Camellia put it in her bag to put it in the vase when she got back.

“Longer than this?” Camellia kissed Jia again, gentler this time, all Jia’s previous hesitations dropped. The river, the ground, the night sky all faded into nothingness with this one kiss. Jia wanted to focus all her attention and remaining energy into it, so she couldn’t forget it, not a single thought or sensation. So, she could vividly remember it whenever she needed to.

This kiss may be our last, but it was the best.

No one has ever seen me first, I always need to show or offer myself to them. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but you offered yourself to me instead. I didn’t have to make you aware of me, you acknowledged my existence immediately. Because of this I tried so desperately to force myself into your world, a world I have no business being in. You let me in and I’ll always be thankful for that.

You won’t accept it, but my nature is a danger to you. This is me being thankful, no longer derailing your life and keeping you safe.

This was never going to go our way.

Your world is almost as lovely as you are, you deserve to live in it, not teeter on the edge of my dark and pitiful one.

Camellia unlocked the door of her cottage, her feet ached, sometimes she hated living on the outskirts of the village. Too much walking. Come to think of it she couldn’t even remember why she went out in the first place.

She turned on the light, the house was silent and cold, as always. Camellia sighed, taking off her shoes. She hated coming back to nothing, no wonder she was always out, always travelling, working in some town or city far from here. Offering her services as a travelling witch, anything to not have to come back to emptiness and to be reminded of how horribly lonely she really was. How wretched, dark and pitiful her world truly was.

Her familiar Dion in the form of a cat jumped up on the kitchen counter to greet her.

“You’ve been a long time where have you been?” He asked, grooming his paws. She paused untying her boot laces for a second. Where had she been?

“Walking I guess.” She shrugged since she could think of no other explanation. She kicked her boot off and picked up Dion, making her way to her bedroom. She stopped in her tracks for a second, when she caught something odd in the corner of her eye.

A vase, full of dead almond branches. What an earth was that there for?