#rainbowkittn

Hands entwined, Rose pulled the Doctor along as they spoke a few quiet farewells and made their way down the street. The further they got from the street party, the Doctor’s taut grip lessened, and his thumb gently caressed hers.

During their walk to the TARDIS, Rose considered the Doctor’s behavior. The quiet desperation of his demeanor was quite unlike him, and she wondered if something else had happened while the Wire kept her in that vast, dark emptiness. She shuddered, tamping down the memory. Or, she thought, perhaps he was simply shaken by what had happened to her, and she realized how horrible it must have been for the Doctor to see her as an empty shell.

They reached the TARDIS, and the Doctor slid his key in and quietly unlocked the door. He held the door open for Rose as she slipped inside. It was a stark contrast from when they exited the ship the previous day, full of flirty laughter and era appropriate lingo. While he sent them into the Vortex, Rose stood quietly beside him with both hands resting on the console.

“Rose, I –” The Doctor stopped, staring at her intently before taking a deep breath. “I’d like to go to Gallifrey tonight. Join me?”

“Yeah, of course, Doctor, but first I need a shower. I’m feeling a bit manky after… After everything.” Rose made a face and gestured to her outfit.

The Doctor nodded. “Of course, yeah, I’ll just… I’ll clean up too. Meet you in the kitchen?”

Rose smiled at him and turned to leave but stopped when his hand unexpectedly grabbed hers to keep her there. She turned to him, a question written on her face.

The Doctor let go of her hand and cupped her cheek, running his thumb over the smooth skin. His eyes burned into hers, and she gasped softly at the intensity she found there. “Rose, you looked beautiful today.” The Doctor held her gaze without wavering, despite the uncharacteristic statement that usually made him bluster and fidget and ramble on about “for a human” and anything else that would help cover up a moment of vulnerability.

Rose covered his hand with her own before responding with a smile. “Thank you, Doctor.” Usually she helped him recover from any moments of accidental verbal dalliance with a tongue in cheek reply, and the moments passed with playful banter and distraction to avoid the deeper meaning of the things he’d said. But right now, her simple reply was sufficient.

They stared at each other a few more seconds before Rose removed his hand from her cheek and squeezed it once before leaving the console room.

+++++

Rose loitered longer than expected in the shower. She stood under the steady flow of water and let it soothe the tension lingering in her muscles and body. Her thoughts drifted aimlessly for a while, but eventually the events of the day swirled chaotically to the surface of her mind. She’d seen the strange electric spark in the television and had followed the clues to Magpie’s shop. She didn’t regret her actions, but the sensation of being taken and absorbed by the Wire had been… Her skin tingled unpleasantly with goosebumps at the memory.

She’d drifted through a fog, in whatever electric current sufficient to sustain the Wire, unable to focus on anything except for one thing. The Doctor. Find the Doctor. Return to the Doctor. Her mind had been taken and absorbed, while her body had been left an empty shell, devoid of life and spirit, existing only on a few remaining electrical impulses. To think she’d looked like Tommy’s grandmother, a blank face with hands cracking creepily in response to a complete neural shutdown, made her heart race with anxiety. Rose swallowed back bile and tried not to think about how the Doctor must have reacted to her in a similar state.

In the end, the Doctor had found a way to save them all. He hadn't yet explained how he’d managed it, but she assumed it wasn’t as easy as he’d let on. It never was, in her experience, and it was very likely he’d put his own life on the line to save everyone. A few tears trailed down her cheeks, and she swiped them away before tilting her head up to the stream of water, letting it clean her face.

Forcing the lingering thoughts to the back of her mind, Rose focused on the task of cleaning herself and finishing her usual post-adventure activities. She slipped on a pair of comfy leggings and a flowy vest top over a strappy, comfortable bra, a look she’d adopted from several years into Earth’s future, and left her damp hair free to dry naturally, then made her way to the kitchen, anxious to be reunited with the Doctor.

+++++

A short while later, the Doctor and Rose arrived in what they’d come to call “their spot” in the Gallifrey room. Since the almost disastrous first visit shortly after she’d started traveling with her leather-clad Doctor, the room had become a place of refuge and solitude for both of them. The TARDIS always seemed to know what they needed when they visited the room, and she frequently tailored it to their needs. If they wanted to swim in the river, they’d find a wonderful swimming hole and perfect beach on the river’s edge. If they wanted to relax and read, they found a basket of books from the library and soft blankets to lay on. Tonight, however, they wandered into a clearing surrounded by towering silver trees under a fabricated sky. Stars twinkled overhead in the orange night sky, and the moons shone bright enough to cast an ethereal golden red glow on the silver leaves.

The Doctor set aside the small picnic basket carrying sandwiches and their favorite carbonated drinks as Rose shook out a large blanket next to the tree she’d found it under. They sat down side-by-side against the smooth bark of the tree trunk.

“She always knows what we need, I love it,” Rose said fondly, and the Doctor gave her a soft look.

“Yeah, she does, doesn’t she?” The Doctor looked up at the ceiling sky and sent his ship a silent thank you. A few stars shot across the sky, and the Doctor snorted. Always a cheeky thing, his ship.

Rose looked up from rummaging around in the basket and pulled out both sandwiches, handing one to the Doctor and keeping the other for herself. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, you could never see shooting stars on Gallifrey because of the gravitational effect from the moons interfering with the atmosphere. Well, I say never, but every few decades the moons’ orbital paths synchronized for about thirty Earth days and allowed for movement in space to be visible.” the Doctor explained. “I laughed, because when I thanked the TARDIS, she made a few stars shoot across the sky.”

“Well, this is our Gallifrey, Doctor. The TARDIS has some fun with it, I think,” Rose observed.

The Doctor bit into his sandwich and chewed before giving her a sidelong glance with a small grin, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Yeah. Yeah, she does.”

They ate quietly together, simply content to let the chiming melody of the wind through the grass soothe their hearts and minds after the long day. Finally, stomachs filled, they returned the used dishes and bottles back to the basket. The Doctor stood and moved the basket to the other side of the tree, and he removed his jacket and tie, draping them carefully over the handle. He unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt and rolled his sleeves up.

When he turned back around, his hearts stuttered at the sight of Rose. She lay on her back, hands resting softly on her belly and hair splayed out in a golden halo around her head. Eyes closed, her face projected an inner peacefulness he failed to match. The Doctor watched her for a few minutes before Rose noticed his silence and propped herself up to look at him.

“What you doin’, Doctor? Come on, lay down. The stars are lovely,” Rose invited, biting her lip when she saw his dressed down state, eyes roaming unhindered over his body and lingering on his rarely exposed forearms.

Rose was lovely. She shone brighter than any star in the sky, and he never wanted to look at anything else again. Unwelcome memories of Rose without her face sprang to the forefront of his mind, and her name fell unintentionally from his lips. “Rose.” Before she could respond, he was on the blanket beside her.

“Doctor, what’s –” she started, but he placed a finger on her lips and traced them gently. Rose’s eyes widened in surprise, but she let her lips part naturally. Rose slowly lay back on the ground, shifting her head slightly to face him, and the Doctor reclined on his side close to her body.

“Your face was gone, you were gone,” he murmured as his fingers moved to trace the contours of her face. First he traced the outer edge before outlining her lips, nose, eyebrows, and cheeks. Their eyes focused solely on each other, and he heard her ragged breathing in response to his touch. She remained still, however, seeming to understand his need to touch her in this moment. “I thought I lost you, Rose.” His voice shook slightly, catching on her name.

Rose’s eyes flooded with understanding and compassion. “I’m right here, Doctor. I’m never gonna leave you. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Rose,” the Doctor bit out.

Rose fixed him with a stern expression. “Doctor,” she warned. “As long as I have any say in things, I’m never leaving.” She lifted a hand up and pointed at him. “And you’d better get used to it.”

The Doctor’s hearts hammered loudly in his chest as his restless mind tried to believe all the things Rose said. Without thinking he curled his hand around the back of Rose’s head, tangling his fingers in her hair, and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her softly. He meant it to be chaste and short, but when a satisfied little moan escaped her mouth, he was powerless to resist deepening the kiss, sliding his tongue over the seam of her lips to coax them open.

+++++

Rose floated on a blissful cloud below the Doctor, almost not believing that the Doctor’s lips were finally on hers. Intoxicated by the taste of him, she lost herself in the sensation of the kiss, the feel of their tongues lazily stroking each other, teeth scraping intently against lips and skin, and a growing warmth coiling down low. Her hands rose to his head, fingers twisting in his thick, brown locks, and when she scratched lightly along his scalp, she smiled through the kiss when he groaned. After several moments, she pulled away breathlessly, and undeterred, the Doctor simply moved to trail kisses down her jaw and along the contours of her cheeks, nose, before softly kissing the corners of her eyes.

“When they brought you in without your face, without everything that makes you you, it made me realize something.” He punctuated his words with a line of kisses down her neck, ending at her pulse point, which he sucked on briefly, pulling a low moan from Rose. “Well, I realized a long time ago, but I’m always a coward, me,” he said, falling briefly into the speech patterns of his former self. “Every time I thought I lost you, regret that I never did anything about it almost consumed me. But –” He swallowed thickly. “Enough of that. I want to call you mine, Rose Tyler.” The Doctor spoke her name on a breath, like a prayer or sacred oath.

Rose gently pushed the Doctor off her and rolled to her side, cupping the Doctor’s cheek with a wide smile.

Did he really not know?

“I’m already yours, Doctor. Have been for a long time. Since ‘run,’ really.” She paused and moved both hands to his chest, covering both his hearts. “And you’re already mine.”

The Doctor responded with a low growl and moved quickly to straddle Rose, pushing her back against the blanket again. The Doctor’s mouth swallowed the squeak of shock that escaped her lips at the unexpected movement, and she tasted the desperation in his kiss, as if he expected her to disappear from his sight, and her heart clenched painfully when she felt his anguish from all the times she’d been lost… All the times it might happen again.

As their lips and tongues moved fiercely together, Rose slid her hands between them and used the Doctor’s belt loops to pull him closer, until his hips pressed against hers. Rose gasped when she felt his arousal and instinctively raised her hips to meet his, grinding into him for friction. The Doctor froze, and Rose stopped breathing, terrified she’d crossed over some unmarked boundary into a level of intimacy the Doctor wasn’t yet ready to embrace.

The Doctor slowly raised his hips and repositioned his legs, placing one hand on each side of her head and leaning his forehead to hers as his ragged breaths warmed her face. Unsure of his reaction, Rose decided to let the Doctor lead the moment, and she softly threaded her fingers through his hair, and let her thumb nails scratch against his temples.

As they hovered at the edge of a precipice, one side of which would allow their relationship to naturally progress to a place Rose had hardly dared to dream about, Rose felt soft whispers of contentment, arousal, want, and something deep and profound she didn’t have a word for but left her almost breathless in its wake, and she tensed slightly, eyes flying open to stare at the Doctor.

“Doctor?”

His eyes fluttered open, but he kept his forehead pressed against hers. “Hmmm?”

“Did you just –” She stopped, thinking quickly. An idea, an impossible idea blossomed in her mind. Had she just felt the Doctor’s thoughts? She knew he was a touch telepath, but thinking they’d never be able to communicate in such a way, she’d never asked about it. Despite their very tactile (but strictly platonic) relationship, she’d never felt anything quite like the feathery touch of his mind against hers before. Now, however, with the Doctor’s forehead touching hers and her thumbs on his temple, perhaps…

Rose took everything she felt for the Doctor, the unspoken love, always so great an effort to contain, the affection, attraction, and acceptance of him, all of him and who he was, and pushed it outwards toward the Doctor, focusing on his mind and the sense of the Doctor from before.

+++++

The Doctor staggered back from Rose, tripping on his feet in his haste to move away. He landed on his bum at the edge of the blanket and stared at Rose in complete disbelief and shock.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted Rose push up from her supine position and warily regard him, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. His mind was in chaos. Minutes before, with his forehead against hers and her thumbs on his temples, the Doctor had picked up on the barest hint of telepathic awareness from Rose, and he’d been irresistibly drawn to the sensation.

He’d hovered there, lingering in the tantalizing temptation of her consciousness, knowing he should sit back and address the physical direction of their intimacy. However, he’d been powerless to resist the barest caress of their minds together. He’d fought against the inticing pull of her mind, only too aware of proper telepathic etiquette, before he’d been bombarded by an onslaught of Rose’s thoughts and feelings.

For him.

Impossible.

Both the way she felt for him and the way she’d telepathically shared those thoughts.

“Rose…” His voice was raw, tinged with disbelief and awe. “How…?” The Doctor trailed off in question, for once unable to fully articulate his words.

Before answering, Rose shifted on the blanket and sat with legs crossed, keeping distance from the Doctor. Well, that wouldn’t do. Finally finding some coordination, the Doctor crawled toward Rose before mirroring her pose directly across from her.

The Doctor looked pointedly at Rose, begging for an answer.

“Well, I jus’... I felt you, Doctor. At least I think it was you. Felt like you.” She blushed when the Doctor could only gape.

“What do you mean you ‘felt’ me?”

Rose sat thoughtfully a moment before explaining. “It was when your forehead was touching mine, and I jus’ felt, I dunno. Warm, content…” She looked down at the blanket briefly before meeting his eyes again, and even in the dim light, he could tell her cheeks were flushed. “An’ you have feelings for me, Doctor. You want me. I could feel that, somehow. I can’t really explain, but I know it was you.”

Flummoxed, the Doctor pulled at his hair. “But how, Rose? It’s impossible.”

Rose shrugged helplessly and tugged down on the the hem of her shirt. “Maybe not as impossible as you think.” For a moment it looked as though she was having an argument with herself, and he saw the moment a decision had been made when she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked him straight in the eye. “What happened when you fell back from me, Doctor? Why did you move away?”

Holding her gaze and knowing she wanted him to acknowledge her actions, the Doctor continued. “Because you did something that shouldn’t be possible. Your feelings for me, Rose– Everything. I heard it all. Inside my mind. You communicated with me telepathically. That should be impossible!”

Rose sighed in exasperation. “Stop saying it’s bloody impossible, Doctor, because clearly it’s not!”

The Doctor’s hearts swelled in affection at Rose’s heated response, and he knew she wasn’t going to let him get away with his claims of the impossible.

Interrupting his thoughts, Rose continued. “How about you find out how it’s possible instead of doubting it? You like to find out how things work, yeah? Investigate all the mysteries of the universe? So how is this any different?” The Doctor rather thought she made a good point. Before he could answer, however, she surprised him further. “An’ if you need to go into my head, I’m okay with that.”

“But you don’t like anything getting into your mind and changing it.”

Rose sighed. “That was back then, Doctor. I barely knew you, and I was still getting used to the idea of a time traveling spaceship and aliens. So yeah, I was a bit upset about the TARDIS getting in my mind without permission.” Rose unfolded her legs and scooted closer to the Doctor. His breath hitched when she reached a hand out and stroked his cheek. “But now I know you; I know the TARDIS. And I trust you, both of you, with my life.”

The Doctor groaned softly before cupping Rose’s face and kissing her soundly on the lips. What had he ever done to deserve this woman? “Are you sure, Rose?”

“Doctor.” Rose’s voice left no room for argument.

“Right, yes.” He looked appropriately sheepish. “Just sit like you were, and I’m going to hold my hands here. You can do the same, if you’d like.” The Doctor placed his fingers on Rose’s temples and bit his lip to hold back a pleasured sigh when Rose mirrored his action on his own temples. “Now,” he whispered, “I’m going into your mind, and you should be able to feel my presence. If there’s anything you don’t want me to see, imagine it behind a door, and it’ll be hidden from view.”

Their eyes fluttered shut, and the Doctor pushed forward into the captivating landscape of Rose’s mind. He gasped in shock when he felt Rose simultaneously slip into his, with the ease of an experienced telepath. The two-sided telepathic contact nearly took his breath away, and it compelled him to move ever closer to Rose, resting his forehead against hers once more. He hadn’t experienced mental contact like this since before the Time War ended, and even then, it’d never been like this. Never with the deeply emotional and intimate connection of a lover. Well, soon to be lover.

Oh really? Care to share those plans with the rest of the class? Rose gave a cheeky telepathic wave.

Ah, blimey. You weren’t supposed to hear that. I just assumed that… He trailed off when he felt Rose shaking with laughter.

You don’t have to explain, Doctor. ‘S alright. Besides, I might combust if that doesn’t happen soon, so please, do your investigating.

It’s just, you feel so good, Rose, and it’s hard to control my thoughts and reactions when you’re in my mind. Under his fingertips, he felt Rose’s heartbeat increase at his words.

So don’t. I’m not saying you have to show me everything, but do like you told me. Put those things you don’t want me to see behind a closed door. It’s okay, Doctor. You don’t have to hold back for me.

The Doctor acquiesed and hid a few of his darkest secrets behind closed doors, knowing that if he and Rose continued on their current path of both telepathic and physical intimacy, he wouldn’t be able to hide them forever. However, he found some peace knowing that Rose understood he had more than 900 years of life experiences and that not all of them painted the Doctor as an example of his name. He’d buried much from the years of the Time War in the dark recesses of his mind, and he was content to leave those things hidden from view.

Exhaling slowly, the Doctor began his investigation. She was so very human, bright and alluring, and to feel the core of her soul, the pink-tinged gold of her consciousness, dancing around him almost distracted him from his task. Despite her humanness, the Doctor quickly found that Rose’s mind was perfectly developed for telepathy, complete with all the neuropathic pathways found only in telepathic species. Anxiety overrode the blissful contentment he’d experienced in the presence of Rose’s mind, and he knew she felt it.

Doctor, what’s wrong? she asked, worriedly. Am I alright?

Your mind, Rose, it’s… There’s nothing wrong, exactly, but you’re human. Humans don’t have the right neural pathways to allow for telepathy, and your mind is full of them. It’s almost as if… He trailed off and quickly put up some barriers to allow himself to think without interruption from Rose. As he thought furiously, the Doctor felt some telepathic interference from the TARDIS.

Doctor, the TARDIS. Is that the TARDIS? Rose asked curiously.

You can feel her too? the Doctor asked in astonishment, although at this point he didn’t know why he was still surprised about anything Rose did that evening.

Yeah, ‘s like she’s trying to show us something in my mind. Can’t you see?

The Doctor and Rose followed the pull of the TARDIS’s presence, and the Doctor quickly realized his ship was showing them Rose’s telepathic pathways. He examined the pathways closer and found their structure to be almost identical to that of a Gallifreyan but with the extra strand granted only to Time Lords and Ladies to allow for a telepathic connection with their TARDISes.

The Doctor pulled away from Rose, and they both gasped at the uncomfortable feeling of their minds being abruptly separated from each other.

+++++

Concerned about what, exactly, the TARDIS had just shown the Doctor, Rose placed a concerned hand on his leg and demanded to know what he’d seen. “Doctor, you need to tell me what’s wrong. Now.”

The Doctor was quiet a moment before answering. “The TARDIS showed me that the telepathic neural pathways you shouldn’t even have –”

“Doctor, stop trying to force the impossible away. It is possible. I have these pathways, an’ you need to tell me what is going on right now.” She left no room for argument.

The Doctor finally met her eyes, and she sighed in relief at the cautious hope she found there. “You have telepathic neural pathways almost identical to mine. Physiologically, they match that of a Gallifreyan, but as a Time Lord, I have an extra pathway that developed when I formed a bond with my TARDIS. And you have that extra pathway, which indicates that you have a fully formed bond with the TARDIS.”

Rose gaped at the doctor in disbelief. “So you mean, I bonded with the TARDIS? When did –” She stopped when long since buried memories flooded her mind. “When I came back to you on the gamestation. When I opened her heart and looked into the TARDIS, and the TARDIS looked into me,” she said softly, her voice momentarily taking on the ethereal quality she’d once had during her time as the Bad Wolf.

Rose grabbed the Doctor’s hand when he paled at her words. “Doctor, it’s okay.”

“How do you know, Rose? I thought I got it all out of you!” the Doctor demanded, panic edging his words.

Before Rose could reply, they were both struck with a wave of comfort and reassurance from the TARDIS so strong they fell into each other to stay upright. Rose laughed, and the Doctor scowled at the ceiling sky.

“I think the TARDIS is trying to tell us that everything is gonna be alright and that we should get back to telepathic snogging instead of worryin’ about it. Just believe your ship, Doctor. Has she ever lied to you?”

“Welllllll....” the Doctor started, pulling on his left ear.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Lied about the important things?”

The Doctor shook his head. “No,” he said simply. “She hasn’t. But Rose, I know she says you’re fine, but I can’t just accept that. I have to know, see it myself. I need to take you to the medbay to run some tests.” He moved to stand, but Rose grabbed his hand and yanked him down beside her.

“No, not now.” He started to protest and she shushed him with a finger on his lips. “Not now, Doctor. I promise, tomorrow you can run all the tests you want on me . We’ll figure it out, Doctor, and I’m sure the TARDIS will help.” She paused for a moment and bit her lip before shifting to move in front of the Doctor on her knees. Leaning forward, she placed feather light kisses all over his face, following the earlier path of his own kisses, before ending at his mouth, pulling him into a long, leisurely snog. She felt his mind brush against hers and she nudged forward, falling into the vast cavernous comfort of the Doctor’s mind.

Right now, I want you, Doctor. All of you.