#rai-reqs

⊱  you ignored tamsy in the hallways, taking a u-turn everytime you catch a glimpse of him. a part of his clothing? turn around. a streak of his hair? turn around and fight the urge to rip yours out of your scalp.

⊱  everytime you crossed paths with him, you pretended that either the floor or the ceiling—or even the dust on a random table—was the most interesting shit you’ve seen here on the ground.

⊱  tamsy finds himself chuckling inside, thinking about how this little experiment is so intriguing—he’s glad he decided to conduct it. after all, he’s been thinking nonstop about how you’d react if he ‘forgets’ about it.

⊱  he knows you love that kiss after doing his hair because it gives you validation and reassurance of his love for you.

⊱  but tamsy knows when to stop pushing his luck… and your limits.

⊱  he caught you off guard by pulling you into his room when he finally caught you walking close to his door.

tamsy pulled you inside his room by your wrist. he pinned you against the door with one hand and locked the door with the other.

he looked at you, observing the way your chest heaved up and down as you took deep breaths to control your emotions—perhaps frustration, or even anger, at him for what he had forgotten to give you this morning.

“what?” you snarled at him, the word coming out harsher than you expected it to be.

but tamsy only smiled, like he always does—so annoyingly composed and calm even amidst being stuck in a scenario like this.

“finally facing me?” tamsy asked, his beautiful eyes carefully observing the micro expressions contorting on your face.

you rolled your eyes at him, your lips protruding in a pout. “just say you hate me and get this over with.”

tamsy leaned in, putting his lips against yours, still with that annoyingly beautiful smile on his face. his lips lingered against yours longer than they usually did for a stolen kiss. you put your hands on his chest in a crucial attempt to push him away in pride, and yet, deep inside, you know you don’t want to keep him off you.

tamsy chuckled before pulling away. one hand still on your wrist, the other coming up to hold yours that was on his chest. “am i forgiven yet?”

“so, you knew!” you hit him gently.

tamsy held your hand. “that i did. forgive me for forgetting.”

“forget it again, and you won’t see the sky above anymore,” you threatened him, which he found cute.

by the subtle mention of the sphere, a smile ghosted tamsy’s lips. “i won’t.”

of course, he’d do it again.

ZANKA NIJIKU ˎˊ˗

⊱  it’s a habit you both subconsciously committed yourselves to—giving the other a good luck kiss before a mission.

⊱  you waited all morning during breakfast for zanka to come near you and give you your good luck kiss before you go. but all he did was give you a small smile and a “see ya later,” which… wasn’t so bad, but what about the good luck kiss?! that was your lucky charm…

⊱  when you got back from the mission, no scratches, no wounds, just a furious, finished look on your face (apparently, according to the people who joined you, you finished the trash beast single-handedly, and way too fast).

⊱  zanka doesn’t know why you were acting that way. he left you to it, thinking it’s just an off day for you, or maybe something about the mission pissed you off.

⊱  he realized something was wrong when riyo looked at him with a disappointed, yet teasing, look in her eyes.

⊱  you continued to ignore poor zanka until the evening. only replying to his questions with a word or two, which he found weird, because you’d always be more than happy to tell him what went on with your day.

⊱  zanka doesn’t know how to properly confront or apologize, but he can’t have you ignoring him forever with a reason he can’t seem to realize. he can’t live like that. he craves your attention more than anything.

you were walking down the hall when zanka took hold of your hand, gripping it firmly, but still with a gentle touch.

“hey,” he called out. “why d’ya keep ignorin’ me?”

“i wasn’t,” you said, your back still facing him.

your feet shifted as zanka pulled you close to him, turning you to face him. but you kept your eyes away from him.

“you were,” he murmured. “did i do somethin’?”

your eyes squinted in irritation, still facing down at the floor. “you don’t eve—“

zanka’s fingers grazed your chin, willing you to look at him; his lips sealed yours shut before you could say another word. you brought your hand up to grab him by the collar, pushing him closer to you, an act you reflexively did—as opposed to what your mind was telling you (don’t give in to him).

“‘i don’t even’ what?” zanka asked, the tip of his nose touching yours, his hand lying on your back, the other caressing your cheek.

words jumbled in your mind, and your tongue felt like it was twisted in ways you can’t imagine. you held your breath and felt your hands grip into zanka’s collar tighter.

“i hate you,” you mumbled while fighting a smile, your eyes still on zanka’s.

zanka flashed you a crooked smile, and kissed you again. “guess i owe ya a thousand kisses for ya to forgive me.”

“good.”

“y’know maybe i should forget about it again so y’can come home to me faster,” zanka teases.

you bumped your head against him a little. “try it, i dare you, zanka nijiku.”

zanka might have little idea how to say sorry in words, but he knows he can make it up through actions.

🚯 gang i highkey forgot how to write headcanons… my bad

“it’s enjin, and—”

“he’s not interested.” you glared down at the girl, then at enjin. “are you?”

enjin’s eyes snapped from the girl to you, his golden orbs shaking in panic, and his mouth was starting to twitch in fear.

“o-oh, yeah, no, no. i’m not. sorry,” enjin said in a hurry, his words jumbling as he stuttered through it.

the girl frowned, clicked her tongue, and rolled her eyes at you before leaving the two of you alone. you can’t believe she had the guts to act like that after flirting with your boyfriend in front of you. in. front. of. you. and your salad.

“babe, i’m so sorry—”

you pretended to check your choker. “ah. semiu, i’m needed at the headquarters? right now? okay, i’m on my way.”

“hey, don’t ignore me,” enjin whined and tried touching your arm, but you successfully evaded him.

“yeah, no. i’m alone right now.”

enjin frowned. “you don’t love me.”

after dropping such an insane line, enjin took a look at you with his head still low, only moving his eyes to see you. 

you looked like a volcano about to erupt—your brows were furrowed, the glare in your eyes were piercing, and you breathed heavily like you’re about to tell shout at him while punching him or something (but he knows you love him too much to do that, okay. although, he wouldn’t blame you if you opt to do so… he probably deserves it today.)

enjin lifted his head, scared of what would come next after his foolishness.

he tried giving you a stupid wide grin, but you looked away, feeling tears forming in your eyes.

seriously, why would you tear up over something like that? so stupid.

seeing this, enjin reached out to you and pulled you into his arms, embracing you.

“my jealous baby. i’m so sorry.”

“pull a stunt like that again, i fucking swear, enjin. just try, you jerk,” you felt a slight tremble in your voice, but willed it to sound commanding until the end.

“i’m sorry, okay? i didn’t know, really, i swear!” he pulled away and looked you in the eyes. “i got too excited someone asked about my tattoos. i’m sorry, babe.”

“don’t i pay attention to your tattoos enough?” you rolled your eyes at him.

“i—, oh, come on, y/n. kiss?” he puckered up his lips. “please?”

“no.” you tried pushing him off you, but he held you tightly.

“i love you,” enjin said, still pouting.

“okay.”

“okay?! no, ‘i love you too, enjin, my baby. i forgive you, so here’s a kiss for my handsome lover.’?”

“be ashamed of yourself. you’re almost thirty.”

“we’re gonna grow old together. you gotta get used to it!”

you felt your face flush at the stupid, seemingly innocent statement he so casually said. you looked further away from him, as much as you could. “whatever.”

enjin grinned at you, feeling your flusteredness through the strong facade you had put on. he leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose. “you’re the only one, okay?”

you looked at him straight in the eye and said, “that better be the case for the entirety of your life.”

enjin’s smile grew wider, and he got so excited he kissed you so quick you were afraid he’d hit all your front teeth at the impact. “yes, ma’am!”

“stupid,” you whispered. “love you too.”

to say you were pissed at him is an understatement. you want to choke the hell out of your man. but you gotta forgive his honest mistakes… and probably dote more on his stupid (cool) tattoos.

ZANKA NIJIKU ˎˊ˗

you were out on a trip with zanka on your day off, happy to finally have the time to spend together—alone, peacefully, no enjin in sight to tease the hell out of you two.

but as you stroll around the plaza, you notice someone trailing you from behind. you got your guard up, but didn’t tell zanka about it because you know he deserves this rest more than anyone.

having no idea who it might be, you zanka’s hand a little tighter, earning a concerned look from zanka, which you quickly brushed off as ‘just missed you lots.’

who knows if it’s a pickpocket, murderer, or worse, a raider following you from behind?

you started losing track of the person… and suddenly, a girl appeared in front of you.

“zanka, it’s actually you!”

zanka looked at the girl, surprised, then said a name you never heard of.

“yes! oh my god, you remember me?” the girl responded enthusiastically, taking zanka’s hands in hers. “i’m so glad! but i mean, you were always nicer to me than anyone else in the room.”

“who’s she…?” you whispered to zanka.

zanka looked at you, uncomfortable at the situation he got caught in. “an old classmate from the academy.”

“yeah, that’s right! you are?” she didn’t even give you a chance to answer. she continued blabbering on,  her hand still clasping zanka’s. “i still remember zanka would always defend me from our classmates who said i’m weak. but it’s okay. i left the academy and found something better for me. it was sad though, cause i wasn’t able to see you anymore, zanka.”

you tilted your head in confusion, staring at the way the girl caressed zanka’s hands casually.

“and… did you guys hold hands or something? cause you look rather comfortable doing that,” you warily asked, hoping the answer would disappoint you.

zanka tried to say something as he also tried to pull his hands away, but the girl beat him to it, moving closer to zanka and said, “he used to hold my hand when he defended me from our classmates, you know!”

zanka didn’t even hold your hand until a few months into dating!

“ah. i see,” your voice came out sounding bored. at this point, you already had your arms crossed in annoyance. “so, you guys… i don’t know, liked each other, then?”

zanka wasn’t even saying anything, his eyes just darted between you and the girl holding his hands.

“well, you could say that! right, zanka? you were always so nice to me. and the others would tease us too!”

zanka stammered, seemingly speechless with the unfolding events.

you had an eyebrow raised, your head tilted to the side, asking him for an honest answer.

“that’s not—”

the girl cut zanka off. seriously, does this girl ever let anyone else speak?

“zanka, it’s okay. no need to be shy to your cousin,” she said with a proud smile.

cousin?! what the actual hell.

you felt your head boiling, and you clenched your fists in your crossed arms. “yeah, cousins. i’ll leave you two rekindle that old love of yours then. bye.”

“wait—” zanka tried calling you out, but you already walked off.

what the fuck?

you know your emotions are just getting the best of you, and it’s really stupid and you don’t even know exactly what’s making you mad.

zanka finally caught up to you, still panting after running after you. he took your hand in his and made you face him.

“what?” you asked him, your tone turned out rather crass. “need anything, mr. oh-you’ve-always-been-nice-to-me-zanka?”

zanka rolled his eyes at you. this boyfriend of yours had the guts to roll his eyes at you.

“you’re bein’ unreasonable,” he said plainly.

you let out an offensive gasp. yes, he’s right, but damn it, can he please catch a hint?

“really, zanka? someone comes up to you, saying you’ve got this old love with her, and holds your hands—and tells me you’ve been holding hands since what? since you’ve been in your mothers’ wombs?”

“because that’s all there is to it. end of story.”

now, it was your turn to roll your eyes at him. “you don’t even hold my hand unless you really feel like holding it,” you whispered to yourself.

“what’d you say?”

“nothing.”

“you think i’d run after ya if i liked her and not you?” zanka pulled you closer to him. “and i never liked her. i was just… actin’ cool, ya know? i told ya that before already, about the kind of person i was back in the academy.”

you averted your gaze from him, biting your lip in guilt—you’re well aware of how wrong your reaction came to be, but it was really annoying to witness that kind of thing when you’re supposed to be enjoying your time alone together.

“whatever you say,” you mumbled.

zanka pulled you into a hug. “you’re my first love. ya know that, right?”

you sank in his embrace. “i’m sorry.”

“s’okay. you should’ve seen her face when i told her you’re my girlfriend.”

“stop it.” you hit zanka’s arm playfully, and he swayed you around a little.

“mhm. ain’t gonna lie, yer jealousy is cute.”

“shut up, zanka. we almost broke up, and that’s what you say?”

“don’t think you’d do that,” he broke the hug to look at you with a smirk. “love ya too.”

after that day, zanka would always find a way to hold your hand—and he’s no longer flustered when he does so.

🚯 not gonna lie.. i had to use everything in my power to figure out how this would work out because i don’t have a single idea about this kind of thing. sorry i’m bitchless as fuck. and it’s kinda funny cause i’m a very jealous person (when it comes to my friends) but i found it so hard to reflect that here. also, i really love making enjin suffer. i had to make zanka’s be someone who knows him from before bc i feel like to randomly approach zanka, you’d really need to have the GUTS to do it.

you had hoped he wouldn't hear the grumbling of your insides. you were already getting hungry as the clock reached the hour of lunchtime, but didn't want to get out of the position you were in. it is only often so rare to be able to spend time with zanka like this.

“...no.” still, you decided to lie when it's already so obvious.

zanka started to shuffle around, trying to get up from his position. “you’re lyin’.”

you tried stopping him by holding on to his arms, but his smooth skin slipped right out of your hold. he sat up straight and looked at you with an eyebrow raised.

“yer stomach's already grumblin’,” he stated.

you faced him, turning your body to the side and propping one arm to support the weight of your head.

“we can eat later. please?”

zanka grumbled under his breath. “it’s almost lunch, anyway. why don’t we go now?”

you looked at him with pleading eyes and a frown half-jokingly, and you saw him click his tongue.

zanka didn’t like it when you made that kind of face. he always feels so warm inside and wants to combust for some reason he cannot comprehend.

with no warning, you attacked him, launching yourself onto him.

“hey..!”

the tables have turned. as opposed to your position earlier, your arms were now the ones wrapped around zanka’s waist this time.

you looked up to him with a sheepish grin.

zanka looked away from you, he will not be tempted to give in to your pleading eyes and wide smile or whatever.

you laughed at how cute the face he was making right now, which earned another eyebrow raise from zanka.

slowly, you got up as well and held both sides of his cheeks. squeezing it together, his lips protruded like a duck.

“what do ya think you're doin’?” zanka asked, his words muffled by the compression.

“i'm so hungry, i could eat zanka nijiku.”

zanka felt his whole face go warm, as well as the tips of his ears. he felt the beating of his heart run laps in just a few seconds, and he’s sure he might faint despite how fast his heart is trying to circulate oxygen throughout his body right now.

it was amusing how zanka stayed still for those few seconds, his face slowly getting painted a faint pink.

getting no response from your boyfriend, you giggled and gave him a peck on the lips, which seemed to bring him back to the reality of life as you see blood continuously rush to his face.

“you're so cute!” you tackled him down to the bed again immediately after.

the top of your body lay on his chest, and you could feel his breathing underneath you. you looked at him with a smile on your face, taking in the softness and sharpness of his features.

zanka looked back at your eyes, determined not to back down after getting so flustered—which, he would not admit right now.

“what?” zanka blurted out.

your smile just grew wider, and you started peppering kisses all over his face nonstop.

you didn’t stop there, you started tickling him on his sides, earning annoyed groans from him, and yet, you only laughed at his face.

“we’re doin’ this now, huh?” zanka said, fighting against the tickling of your hands and kisses. “you’re basically askin’ for a fight.”

you stopped and looked at him tauntingly. “and, are you backing down?”

“‘course not.”

within seconds, the tables have turned again. zanka had flipped you over, and you lay underneath him this time.

the sudden flip sparked a flame inside you. you felt a blush slowly creep into your cheeks, and the air getting warmer by each millisecond that passed.

“where’s all that confidence you had earlier, hm?” zanka asked you, his beautiful face looming over you from above.

zanka had pinned you down under him, using his arms to encage you like prey caught by a bigger animal. you could smell the faint scent of incense.

the room grew hotter, the clock ticked quieter, and the world spun slower. but despite everything, neither of you backed down.

for once, you can’t say anything. no words came to your mind, so no proper sentences coherently formed to be said at this moment, no matter how hard you tried.

you tried your best not to look away, because to do so is to back down from a challenge you have started—and that will not be happening. this is ‘vs. zanka’ we’re talking about.

you wondered how zanka could still keep his cool even in this kind of position.

however.

zanka’s knees were growing weaker by every tick of the clock that he gazed back on your eyes. but he held himself up in pride, owning up to the character of strong nonchalance he had asserted as he turned the tides of this battle.

he himself feels embarrassed by what he has brought upon the two of you. but that is something he could not admit. not when you look this good under him.

zanka took this chance to look at you thoroughly, examining your face with an indifferent gaze. the glint of your eyes he likes to see, the tip of your nose he wants to boop, and the softness of your lips he wants to feel against his own.

gulping down your pride, you muttered, “is it just me or is it getting hot in here?”

“hey, zanka! oh—!”

the door suddenly busted open, revealing a surprised pikachu-face enjin.

the both of you snapped your gazes to the intruder at the door, with zanka still on top of you.

“didn’t i… lock the door?” you whispered, almost just to yourself.

“what… are ya doin’ here, enjin?”

enjin looked like a balloon about to pop, he was growing red with how much he was trying to restrain his boisterous laughter—which he soon failed to contain.

“i see! you two are getting freaky, i see!” enjin said with an annoyingly loud laugh. “just be careful, you two! you’re still babies, you see!”

zanka's face went beet red. “that’s not—!”

quickly, you knocked zanka off you to the side. “enjin! you got it all wrong!”

zanka cursed at how fast you pushed him off, and you sent him an apologetic side-eye.

“ah, our lil zan-zan is a grownup now, i see!” enjin kept repeating a certain phrase like a vocal stim, still cackling all the while. “oh, lil zan-zan’s no longer a baby!”

a pillow came flying through to enjin from zanka’s grasp. “don’t call me that!”

“that’s your concern?!” you joined the shouting.

“thought ya locked the door?”

“i did!”

enjin took a look at the doorknob, and his laugh grew even louder—you don’t know how that’s possible.

“you twisted the lock the other way, pfft!”

you grimaced at enjin’s discovery. “this trash heap of a headquarters.”

“careful, semiu and the boss might hear you,” enjin tried breathing through his laughs. “although, i think we might hear other— ow!”

the pillow you threw successfully hit enjin right on the face. “like you said, we're just babies! leave us alone!”

enjin kicked the pillows back inside the room, still laughing loudly, and closed the door, still laughing, leaving you two to make sense of what just happened (still laughing).

“i can't believe your doorknob’s broken,” you said with a sigh, and a hand on your forehead. “and out of all people… it’s gotta be enjin.”

zanka himself was still in shock, but he urged himself to be composed. “and my pillows got dirty.”

you slapped his arm playfully. “that’s your worry?” you said with a chuckle.

zanka took your hand and pulled you into his chest. “no. how are we goin’ to keep our free time peaceful now?”

“we can always stay in my room,” you offered, looking up at him with a smug smile. “my lock’s not broken.”

zanka felt his mouth fall open a little at your sly words. he narrowed his eyes at you. “don’t talk like enjin.”

“i wasn’t even trying to imply anything!”

“don’t say things like that after sayin’ you could eat me right now.”

you laughed. “so, you did get flustered!”

zanka clicked his tongue. “this is so annoying.”

“you love me.” you gave him a kiss.

zanka kissed you back and smiled. “yeah, yeah. i do.”

you had forgotten how hungry you were.

🚯 i js be sayin whatever… also, i think this is a bit different from my usual on the softer side much clingier zanka. but i love him this way toooooo you knowwww

⊱  you know it’s wrong to assume things, so you forced yourself to feel nothing but gratitude because a friend is helping you out.

“thanks, zanka. you’re a good friend.”

‘a friend. of course, a friend.’ zanka cursed himself for feeling a pang in his chest. but a friend is still better than nothing. he smiled, then scolded himself right after.

⊱  you’d wake and find flowers beside your bed. one morning, you caught zanka in the act of changing the wilting flowers on the table.

“zanka?”

he froze for a moment and turned his gaze on you. “good mornin’…”

he explained that rudo told him it’s a custom up in the sphere to give flowers when visiting someone.

you thought it was very thoughtful of him. he was always so thoughtful, even if he doesn’t (want to) show it.

you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, and zanka’s heart fluttered at how wide your smile was. ’so, she likes ’em, huh?’

⊱  sometimes you’d wake up at night and feel zanka’s hand on top of yours, and his head would lie on the edge of your bed. there are times when you want to ruffle his hair, but you don’t want to wake him… or rather, you don’t want to lose the warmth his hand provides.

one night, you decided to wake him up. “zanka, go to your room.”

zanka pried his eyes open, looking at you with the sleepy blue hues of his eyes. “no. i’m stayin’ with you.” then went right back to sleep.

⊱  because he insisted on doing so, you gave him a proposal—to sleep in his room during mondays, wednesdays, fridays and sundays, and he could sleep next to your bed during the days left unsaid.

“that ain’t fair, switch it the other way,” he negotiated.

⊱  zanka insists that he feeds you even though you’re sure you could do it yourself.

“you’ll burn yerself,” he’d say while blowing the soup on the spoon, the bowl in his hand.

you’d frown at him and say, “i’m not that weak.”

he’d scoff at you and put the spoon near your mouth. “i know yer strong but… let me do this for you.”

at that point, you were sure your face felt hotter than the soup. 

⊱  as a pastime to help you lessen the boredom, zanka borrowed novels from people around. it was cute how his accent would slip from time-to-time, and you appreciate his efforts of reading it all the way through on his own.

“zanka, i’ll read a paragraph.” you opened your hand to him, gesturing for him to pass you the book. “you’ve been reading out loud for an hour already.”

“i’m fine,” he mumbles, then continues reading.

honestly, you could listen to him all day, but you wish he’d rest a bit.

⊱  one time, it was a romance novel. when it got to a specific part, zanka becomes all flustered and refused to continue.

“no, zanka, i need to hear what happens next!”

zanka shut the book and slammed it on the table, quickly picking another book at random. “read it yerself when you’re healed!”

⊱  you felt guilty for having zanka stay with you all day, especially when he’s sitting on that hard-ass backless chair they have here in the clinic.

“hey, wanna sit beside me?” you offered to him, your voice smaller than usual.

zanka was just as flustered as you. he froze for a solid 3 seconds, then looked away.

you fiddled with your blanket, quickly making up an excuse. “i… i wanna read with my eyes while you read.”

⊱  you started to notice how zanka became more touchy or physically closer to you gradually. though, he would often chicken out before you could reciprocate the proximity.

exhibit a. your finger lightly brushing against zanka’s when flipping pages (poor zanka’s internal monologue would be, “her finger just grazed mine. why do i feel like i’m burnin’ up?”)

exhibit b. he would reach out for your hand to soothe the pain you’re feeling, but would retract it back in fear that you would mind if he did so. (poor zanka’s internal monologue would be, “fuck. what if she doesn’t want me to do that?”)

⊱  since the day you asked him to sit beside you in bed, he never looked back again. he’d sit with you there all day, and so, when it’s siesta time, your head would fall on his shoulder, and he would try his best not to move from his spot.

“shit,” zanka would whisper to himself internally. “shit. she’s asleep. on my shoulder.”

⊱  zanka realized you probably wouldn’t hate it if he pushed his luck a little but… he just can’t bring himself to do so.

⊱  zanka overthinks when he’s not with you, so thank god (or the choker maker) for the chokers. he makes sure to talk to you through the choker before sleeping when he’s beside you.

“you worry too much about me,” you sighed, fiddling with your choker. “eishia said i’ll be able to get out of bed soon.”

“i know,” zanka grunted, and you hear him flip over to his side. then, he added in a whisper, “i just can’t imagine myself without ya.”

“what was that? sorry, couldn’t hear it.”

“nothin’! g’night.”

zanka, you fuckin’ idiot! he thrashed around his bed that night.

⊱  zanka helps you get out of bed and walk around the headquarters when you start feeling better (with eishia’s approval, too). your hand is warm in his, making him feel tingles and sparks under his skin.

⊱  you walk with him around the headquarters, talking and giggling with him as if nothing bad ever happened to you.

⊱  zanka is careful with you. he makes sure you don’t accidentally slip. and if ever you do, he’s always there to catch you.

zanka’s other hand found its way around your waist after panicking that you might trip.

“sorry,” he apologizes and quickly removes his hand around you.

you noticed his cheeks get a bit red, but brushed it off, thinking he probably just got shy with the physical contact.

and somehow… the thought left you disappointed.

⊱  riyo would definitely tease the hell out of the two of you whenever she sees you together. add enjin, and you have the power of a whole fan club with just two people.

“awh, zanka, you’re such a nice friend,” riyo would tease.

zanka regretted ever telling riyo about his dilemma of being called a friend. and out of all people who could’ve known what happened, why was it riyo he confided in?

because enjin wouldn’t be a better choice. that man would go crazy and act as cupid for you and zanka. and he doesn’t want things to get awkward.

⊱  zanka found himself smiling more and more, and he doesn’t really mind if anyone else notices… unless it’s you. he wouldn’t want to fumble you—no, he doesn’t want to make things awkward, that’s all.

⊱  zanka grew more and more comfortable in your presence, and it was even harder to leave your side as time passed by.

⊱  zanka wishes he could be by your side eternally—for a good cause, and not because you’re injured.

⊱  you felt a stronger connection with zanka than ever before, and with anyone else you know. you knew it was wrong to feel this way when he’s just taking care of you out of the goodness of his heart. so, you finally decided to confront him for the peace of your mind and heart.

“you don’t have to do this if you feel responsible for it, zanka,” you said. “it was my fault. i was weak.”

zanka stopped in his tracks. the two of you were walking together again in the halls of the cleaners hq late at night, as per eishia’s recommendation. it was a silent walk, compared to the other days when it was filled with laughter. perhaps it’s because the two of you are occupied with things in mind.

zanka loosen his hold on your hand a little. “i’m doin’ this because i want to.”

“yeah but i don’t wanna be a burden to you,” you told him honestly. “i know you’re being nice, but i—”

“you’re not a burden,” zanka cut you off. “you’re—i… i like being with you.”

“what?”

zanka averted his gaze, his eyes anywhere but you. his voice was sharp, but the softness in his eyes betrayed his tone and showed his true intention. 

“wasn’t it obvious? i’ve always looked yer way. i’ve always—always… adored you.”

your feet shuffled as you stumbled upon his words. your mind swirled by his sudden confession, and it felt as if you’d fall to the ground.

but it didn’t happen. instead, zanka had encaged you into a fragile embrace—as fragile as his heart—but with a strong resilience, as his love for you.

“zanka…”

zanka held you closely, his arms wrapped around you a bit loosely so as not to get in the way of your injuries. he had his chin on top of your shoulder, and he willed himself to talk.

“can’t deny i was scared. thought it was obvious that i like ya, y/n,” his voice a soothing whisper, a contrast to his usual sharp tone. “i always did.

“i… yes, i felt guilty ‘cause i failed to protect ya. but that’s not just what it is. m’so frustrated with myself i couldn’t bring myself to tell ya ‘bout what i feel, but i also didn’t want ya to be… distant with me.” zanka broke the hug, and pushed away his fears and finally looked at you in the eyes, almost as if he’s pleading. “so, will ya push me away?”

you didn’t answer. you simply looked at him with damp eyes, full of unsaid feelings, just like his own blue eyes. neither of you knows how long the two of you have been staring at each other’s own passionate eyes—but time seemed to slow down and stop, like the universe was giving the two of you the time to finally settle it all for once.

you simply leaned in, closing the gap that separated the two of you, and finally kissed him.

zanka didn’t wait another moment to kiss you back. it was fiery, fierce, hungry, but… loving—almost fulfilling. it was sweet.

you tried breaking away, but zanka chased after you, only giving you a brief moment to breathe. he pressed his body closer to yours, and kissed you as if it were what he had always wanted to do.

zanka broke contact away from your lips, allowing the two of you to breathe normally again.

“you’re beautiful.” zanka tucked your hair behind your ear. “have i ever told you that?” he caressed your face.

you giggled, leaning in to his touch. “i think that’s the first.”

“mhm. i like ya,” zanka repeated.

“i think that’s the second time.”

zanka kissed you again, albeit quickly. “i like ya.”

“i know,” you giggled. “i like you too, zanka.”

zanka finally smiled. “third time’s a charm.”

he felt the ghost of your hand hover over his arm where you last held him, and the touch of your lips lingered on his cheek. you kissed him on his bloodied cheek before charging at the trash beast. that was the last time he had seen you, felt you, heard you.

now, the trash beast is gone.

but so were you.

the only remnant left of you was your blood—blood that stained his gloves and his arms and his clothes and his shoes that he could never get rid of. because to do so is to forget you.

rudo felt his knees weaken and eventually gave way. his hands met the ground that was filled with the blood that once made up your body. he slammed his fists on the earth beneath him and screamed loudly.

why can’t i hear you telling me to calm down? rudo bit his lip and felt a metallic taste in his mouth. your voice would always give him clarity at times of despair. and now… that voice is nowhere to be heard.

but no matter how loud his voice is, it will never reach your ears again.

because you’re gone. like a thing he had made anew with his power, and fulfilled its purpose.

his weapons disappear slowly, but you disappeared faster than the beat of a heart.

and he could command his weapons to stay for a little while if he wanted to. so, why couldn’t you too?

does that mean you have fulfilled your purpose?

what even is his life’s purpose?

if life has a purpose, why couldn’t he protect what’s important to him?

why do people around him always end up dying in the name of protecting him?

it wasn’t fair. no, it isn’t and will never be.

rudo wailed like a child, his gloves were bloody, and the ground was filled with puddles of blood. he scratched the earth, desperate to hold onto something, but there’s nothing. nothing left to hold onto.

that’s unfair. you didn’t even leave anything for him to cling to.

not even a corpse for him to hold in his arms.

you told him to live with love. but how will he do so when the one who taught him love is gone? his love is gone.

anger swelled in his heart, and his whole body burned with rage. his vision blackened, and his breathing became ragged. he screamed and scratched and slammed and thrashed around, but nothing will ever bring you back.

rudo’s body shook along with his sobs, letting his tears fall freely. you would’ve wiped his tears with your gentle fingers if you were here. you would’ve told him it’s okay, everything’s going to be fine.

he cursed himself. he should’ve been the one taken down along with the trash beast instead when it exploded as an act of self-destruction. 

how am i going to live with this heavy feeling in my heart?

you always told him to let love dominate his heart, to remember the good memories and not the bad ones. like you told him to do with his memories of regto.

he dug his nails in the soil even deeper. maybe the earth would understand his pains and take it away from him if heaven couldn’t. 

he pushed away the fury bubbling up in his heart. because to love you is for his heart to be filled with genuine goodness, and not to be tainted with anger and hatred.

he had nothing left of you to hold on to. all he has left is his love for you—and he could never ever ever lose that too. you are in his heart, and will forever have a place in the deepest corner of it.

and you were right, you will forever be with him.

because until this day, that moment still haunts him at night whenever he tries to close his eyes.

the way your body disappeared along with the trash beast’s, leaving him alone again in this grim, dark world.

rudo hugged himself in the dark, clutching his chest near his aching heart, desperate to hear your voice again.

don’t leave me. please, come back.

ENJIN ˎˊ˗

if only he didn’t let his guard down for a second.

enjin had always paid attention to everything his whole life. he knew every detail beneath the surface. he saw through the people around him behind their masks. he always paid attention to you. he knew every little thing about you, no matter how trivial it was.

you had always been a strong and independent partner to enjin—always secure in yourself and the relationship you shared with him.

even so, you felt the safest in his arms. you were always warm in his embrace, and enjin loved the comfort your presence offered. and the warmest part of you was your hands, he loved it when your hands were intertwined with his. because his life wasn’t the warmest, but your love for him let him feel that kind of heat.

and even now, you’re warm in his arms.

blood continuously poured out from your head and your arm, with your other hand lying somewhere else on the battlefield, where the trash beast slashed it away from you.

“enjin,” you whispered with a broken voice, your eyes barely open, the light was still there, but very faint.

you tried reaching out your hand to him, but it wasn’t there. and your other hand, which was still intact, was twisted the other way, your wrist painfully fractured.

had he not fumbled a step. had he just paid more attention to his footing, then you wouldn’t have to step in for him to push him away, for the trash beast to crush you and slash at you instead of him.

but slowly, in his arms, you were getting cold. getting so, so cold, enjin wants to tuck you to bed, beside him, and hug you tight, then maybe—maybe you’ll get warm.

“don’t talk,” enjin whispered back. he took your hand that was still intact, and put it close to his lips, desperate to feel your warmth. “stay with me?”

you shook your head painfully, the impact of the slam the trash beast gave you stung. tears streamed down your face, and your vision blurred further.

you could barely make out the sight of enjin’s face, contorted into an expression full of desperation and despair. you could barely hear him call your name out like a prayer, pleading with you to stay with him.

he held you in his arms desperately, afraid he would crush you if he hugged you any tighter.

you whispered in his ears, with the last bit of your strength. “you’re always so warm.”

enjin choked in the cry he refused to let out. his tears welled in his eyes because to hear you say it like that… how could he ever stay warm if the source of it disappears?

your body limped in his hold, and he could no longer feel your heart beating. you had ceased to breathe, and he himself gasped for air, trying to make sense of the situation.

he would never have imagined you would be this way. especially not in his arms.

especially not because of him.

his body ached with the craving of your heat, to feel your touch again, to hear your heart beat with love.

let me feel your warmth again.

GRIS RUBION ˎˊ˗

it all happened way too fast.

“tomme, are you not going to apply first aid?” gris said, his light blue eyes had lost their glint, and his tone was the flattest tomme had ever heard. “it’ll be okay, right?”

gris cradled your body close to him—your blood stained all over his white uniform. blood that came from the hole in your stomach that the trash beast gave you. but he paid no mind to the warmth seeping through his clothes.

it was his job to support you, make sure nothing bad happens, and for the mission to be completed easily. he was confident in your skills because he trusts you, and he knows you’re strong. and he trusted you enough not to jump into any impulsive decisions, even if it’s for him.

but you did.

and now there’s a hole in your stomach, and also his heart.

his back was facing the trash beast at that time, and you were the only one who noticed the trash beast creeping in close to the supporters.

you quickly jumped into action, never thinking twice when saving the supporters, especially gris. 

of course, you’d do that. you were always so nice to them, always so caring. that’s exactly how you got to build a connection with gris, and eventually developed deeper feelings for him.

but for what? those feelings might have been the reason why you’re lying on his arms right now, lifeless, soulless.

gris refused to believe it. he’s not one to deny the reality of a situation, but this simply cannot be happening. there is no way.

surely, eishia could still heal you, right? he wants to get you in the car right now and drive you back home quickly. maybe if they get you to the headquarters fast enough, he’ll get to hear your rich laughter again.

but you were missing a part of your body already. your eyes were open, but there was no life behind them. gris couldn’t bring himself to close your eyes. not when his hands were trembling as he held you close. and if he does, how will he ever get to lose himself in your eyes again?

gris felt tears slowly form in his eyes, but he blinked them away, letting the wind take them.

tomme watched as gris silently rubbed circles on your arm, as if he was hushing you to sleep. she bit her lip to stop herself from crying—if the man himself, whom you’ve loved so much, couldn’t bring himself to do so, what right does she have to?

he held your hand, feeling the softness of it and every callous you have gotten from training and fighting. he caressed your face, taking in the features he had always loved to see. he brushed strands of hair away from your face, your forehead still sweaty despite the lack of body heat.

gris held you closer, letting your forehead touch his. and finally, his tears made their way down his cheek, falling onto your dead body, mixing with your blood.

he doesn’t want to part from you.

for the rest of his time, he will be missing a part of his life.

tell me what you need, please. what do i need to do to bring you back?

ZANKA NIJIKU ˎˊ˗

why would you do that?

taking a fatal blow from a trash beast to save an average joe like him. a genius like you should never do that.

zanka made the final slash at the trash beast, taking it down with finality. he felt anger bubble in his chest. anger at the stupid trash beast that got the best of you. anger that he wasn’t strong enough to realize sooner. anger that you were cocky enough to take a fatal blow for him. anger that the only genius he was learning to like wouldn’t exist anymore by tomorrow.

zanka’s eyes landed on your unmoving body that lay on the ground. he made his way to you, dragging his feet to impede knowing the reality of your fate.

he knelt on the ground, and the dirt of the soil clung to his clothes. slowly, he took you in his arms, examining your face and every gash and cut you got.

zanka brushed away dusts of dirt from your cheek, getting in contact with the warm flow of blood gushing from your head while doing so.

“down already?” he asked in a whisper, not minding whether you could hear him or not. he didn’t even realize the tremble that came with it as he spoke. “there’s no way a genius like ya would go down like that easily.”

your eyes were hanging halfway, eyelids bruised from what had happened during the fight. you were still breathing, but extremely shallow and barely even.

zanka clicked his tongue. “you’re not dyin’ on me, are ya?”

blood sprayed on zanka’s chest as you coughed it out, like it was the last you had in your body.

with a painful, desperate gasp, you reached your hand to his face with the last of your strength, but only one finger made contact, barely grazing his jaw.

zanka caught your hand before it could fall back to your side again. “don’t,” was all he could muster to say.

zanka watched you take heavy, small breaths as he held you in his arms. still holding your hand, he rubbed it soothingly with his own calloused hands. hands that have trained hard day and night to catch up to you. although you’d always tell him he is already a genius of his own.

“keep yer eyes open,” zanka mumbled. he always liked the sparkle you had in your eyes, a sparkle only geniuses would have. he hated geniuses, and yet, you were an exception.

he watched as that sparkle slowly lost its light under the sun that gazed upon the ground all the way from the sphere. and he could no longer feel your body struggling to breathe.

zanka held you closer, hugging your motionless body close to him. he had never held you so tight, and he wished he had when you were still alive.

he never fully realized what the fast beating of his heart meant whenever you would praise him. he never understood why he always wanted to show off his skills whenever you were watching, as if making you amused would do any good in his stupid average life.

he never acknowledged what he felt for you. and, he would never be able to.

because even now, as you lie on his arms lifelessly, he refuses to give in to that stupid feeling. he swore he would never remember the warmth he felt when he was with you. because if he did so, he might just lose his mind, just like how he lost you.

you’re the worst genius i’ve ever known.