Okay, so recently i had this really weird dream that i think might have to do with a certain someone's tickle monster.
It started off somewhere near a Trans-Atlantic Highway-esque area, with me in some sort of auto-driving electrical car, relaxing to the latest psychedelic rock hits while (most likely) off a chocolate weed edible. Eventually, it starts to slow down and i make a stop to recharge it. Little did i know a certain nefarious nightmare lad has a cunning plan laid out, and somehow zaps himself into the charging station, gaining free reign over my electric car. After i finish charging, i take the charger out and get back in, only for the car to start auto-correcting it's navigation a few times. After the 5th, i start getting pissed bc i think it's some kinda technical malfunction, only to hear this.
"NAH. This ain't your grandparent's spam mail! Keep those seatbelts on tight, pal! WE'RE BURNING ALL KINDS OF RUBBER TONIGHT!"
Cue the car speeding off at "i'm-so-fucking-dead" MPH, dangerously skirting near crashing off-road and ramping off the backs of (conveniently placed) carrier trucks all the while i'm screaming my head off and trying not to faint over the fact that my car has apparently decided to start a new career as a daredevil. However, because I've got a secret adrenaline-junkie in myself, i'm actually having the time of my fucking life. Things go to 11 once it hauls ass to a non-descript city and starts going haywire, speeding through (thankfully empty) outdoor cafe's and plowing through (ALSO thankfully empty) buildings like the transformers version of the Hulk. Finally, things go past 11 and straight to one-thousand once we reach a very industrious part of it, and i'm nearly overstimulated by the amount of unhinged chaotic bs going on (pipes bursting, the entire plant being demolished, etc. etc.)
FINALLY it stops, but only once we've got a straight shot towards a comically-oversized Acetylene storage warehouse, and i soon realize what's going on once Ragaeli's stupidly-charismatic grin appears on the dashboard. I straight up BEG for him not to do what i think he's going to do, but he just lmao's and says that he's gonna do it anyways.
"Yer' final tour of the evening's here! Don't chicken out now!"
The car seems to gun straight for the warehouse, and i immediately get the fear of god put into me as that plus the Maximum Overdrive music frightens the living daylights out of me, bc HOLY CRUD WE'RE GONNA CRASH. Thankfully, he doesn't, and the car gets these weird blackout windows placed over it as it speeds somewhere else. Turns out, Rags fibbed the entire thing just to get my adrenaline up, and BY GOD DID IT WORK. Still, my nerves are rattled, so…
"Don't worry! As your totally trustworthy smart AI, i'll make sure you get alllllllllllllllll the relaxation you need~"
The lights dim to an unironically warm hue, and the seat suddenly enters a reclining state, a seat warmer beneath providing ample muscle relaxation. It's so good that i actually blank on the fact that the automatic seatbelts (which are a thing apparently) have snaked themselves over me and locked me to it, and only AFTER that did i realize my plight. The following went something like this.
"W-what the hell?! I can't move! Turn off the auto-seatbelts!"
"I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up, i couldn't understand that command."
"I said turn off the automatic seatbelts and unbuckle me!"
"Did you say "Turn on the automatic spa features and tickle me senseless"~?"
"N-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (holy shit this gave me a fuckin lee panik my god)
Immediately after that, a bunch of automatic showerheads and other such spa equipment emerge from underneath the seat as the car seems to expand from within and i immediately realize that my ass is about to be sent to heaven. I get a bunch of sensory-enhancing oils before i'm immediately hosed down by a bunch of showerheads, the oils making me laugh harder bc of how tickly the streams are. I'm then flipped onto my back and have a bunch of sauna stones rubbed along my back while a few grabby hands massage my sides (and occasionally play my ribs like a piano-AGH LEE PANIK AGAIN), sauna stones tickled too. Finally, my feet are locked in a stock and what i can only describe as the "Pedicure from Tickle Hell" happens, by the time it's over i'm left partially giggle-drunk and waaaaaaaaaaaaay too stimulated.
The car door then opens, allowing me freedom to my conspicuously-absent house, which is equipped with more smart technology that i know that fucker's going to exploit against me. As soon as i enter…. Nothing happens, i make my way up to my bedroom and access my computer, only to notice that there's a notification. I click it and-
"Ragaeli.EXE has been successfully downloaded"
"Pray for your life"
I've never hit google search faster in my entire life. I try searching something up, only for a notepad document to open and for Rag's face to literally be typed into existence in ASCII. He then does some grabby hands and i instinctively clamp my hands around my sides over fear of getting tickled to oblivion, thankfully he doesn't, and i decide to head to bed. Before things can get all inception, i notice that my star machine has a weird patterning-oh who am i kidding it's that nightmare fucker again.
"Y-you?!"
"That's riiiiiiiiiiiiiight~ Thanks fer' giving me access to all your stuff by the waay~"
"N-I didn't mean tooooooooooooo!"
"'Course you didn't~! Now then, let's see if i can't make you scream, shall we?"
Immediately, i get up and start running, darting into the kitchen. What follows next is what i can only describe as "tickle slapstick" as i'm repeatedly gotten by Rags and tickled mercilessly by various smart appliances.
-In the kitchen, i'm spooked behind the table by a non-infected fridge fucking automatically opening it's door, then i'm given a (non-lethal) nom on the side with a waffle iron that starts giving me more noms. I try getting it off but the thing won't budge, and i slip on a rolling pin and stumble face first into a microwave. My head get's stuck, and my sides and soles are attacked by a pair of whisks and tickly rubber spatuals while Rags makes awful cooking puns at my expense.
-In the area just above the living room, i find out that the nightmare remodeled the place to resemble an art studio, and i immediately realize what's going on. I try to run but the door locks itself and my body is used as a canvas for Rags to do his tickly Jackson Pollock work all over.
-In the living room proper, i'm immediately strapped down to a gaming chair and sat before a different computer, forced to place a hero-shooter game based on tickle stuff. Everything goes well until Rags challenges me to round two, with the added rule being i have to play the game in VR while also wearing a haptic feedback suit, i barely even make it to the second round of Payload before i'm a shrieking mess.
-In the basement, i try to avoid his gaze by going into part of it, only for the entire area to instead be a tattoo parlor. This freaks me tf out because of the new Final Destination flick giving me a temporary fear of them. However, Rags manages to make me overcome said fear by (asides from disguising as Reggie) giving me a VERY ticklish tattoo session and a frankly absurd demonstration of his own brand of piercing's strength (seriously that septum piercing had me hanging from the fan like Homer Simpson that shit was WILD)
Finally, i escape to my bedroom, thinking that it's over and done with… If only i knew better. As i lay down and try to get some sleep, I'm immediately attacked by a bunch of ticklish tendrils, and Ragdoll immediately starts cheesing.
"D'awwww, is the writer scared that the big bad tickle monster's gonna drag him under the bed~? Well too bad, 'cause I'm gonna~"
"OHOHOHOOHOHOH NOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
I'm dragged off the bed and slowly pulled underneath the bedframe, assaulted by seemingly omnipresent tickles as i continue to laugh my heart and soul out…
And then, i woke up.