#rafe reader insert

As you stared at your computer the finality of it hit you. You didn’t get any of the jobs you had interviewed for, all of them were dream jobs, you thought the interviews went well, but apparently they didn’t go well enough.

It’s not that you thought you were going to get job offers for all of the positions you applied to, but you figured maybe you’d get into one. I guess maybe that was a little too optimistic, or you thought you were more deserving than you actually were. That other people were more qualified and better. That’s what hurt the most.

You were aware you weren’t the most qualified person in the world, qualified for the job, absolutely, but you knew you weren’t always the smartest person in the room, but that was a good thing. They always say to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you, to learn and become better, turns out maybe you were just dumb. Not someone who’s intelligent but is surrounded by more intelligent people.

You felt like a fraud.

There were discussions with Rafe, your families about the potential move if you landed any of the positions. Hell, Rafe had been figuring out how to turn his job into one that could be remote. Everyone thought you’d get at least one job offer, that all of this planning would be worth it. All of the stress would be worth it because you’d be achieving your dreams, but now you realized you just wasted your time and we’re going through it mentally for nothing. There was nothing to show, and you’d have to tell everyone that you didn’t get the job.

You felt like such a disappointment.

As you reread the email from the last company who rejected you that there were a lot of strong candidates but that it wasn’t the right fit, you couldn’t help the tears that ran down your face.

It was really over. The hope was really gone now. You’d have to stay at the shitty position you were in now. Years of college from undergrad to your masters program, we’re wasted. All of this stress for what? Sure, you loved college and your masters program but what was the point of it didn’t lead you to where you wanted to go?

Maybe there was a reason. Maybe you weren’t meant to get that job and were meant for something else. At least that’s what your trying to convince yourself. That it wasn’t because of you, but because there was a bigger plan the world had for you.

You knew that was bullshit.

So caught up in your head, you didn’t hear Rafe enter your home office.

“Sweetheart?” He called out.

Met with silence, Rafe made his way over to you, resting his large hand on your shoulder, “Sweetheart?”

Looking up at him, you started to tell him what happened. That you were a disappointment and that you were sorry for wasting his time, but now that he was close, the only thing that came out were sobs.

Sitting on his knees, on the floor next to your chair, he enveloped you into a hug, rubbing your back in soothing circles. Offering comforting words. Even though he didn’t know what was going on, he knew exactly what to say.

Not able to speak, you just pointed to where the email laid open on your computer screen.

As he angled himself, he didn’t detach from you, continuing to comfort you.

“Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.” He whispered as he pulled you in tighter.

“I’m so sorry.”’you choked out.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I don’t even know why you think there would be anything to apologize for.”

“I wasted your time and made you go through all of this effort of figuring out your job, and it was all for nothing.” You said before sobs continued to rack your body.

“Oh sweet girl, don’t apologize for that. I would do anything for you, besides now that I’m able to work online, we have more flexibility and can spend more time together, which sounds like a win in my book.”

Pulling him against you tighter, you nestled your face into the crook of his neck, finding comfort in the closeness of him. Rafe pulled you in just as tight into his body.

You weren’t sure when you made your way out of your chair and onto the floor but you couldn’t complain because you have your main source of comfort holding you close.

As you still held onto Rafe, trying to feel grounded in some way, you weren’t sure how much time had passed.

“You wanna play UNO?” He whispered.

Pulling away, you couldn’t help the look of shock as you looked at his face.

“UNO makes everything better.”

You let a wet laugh out, as you rubbed your face, trying to dry it.

“Are you being serious right now?” You questioned.

“Dead serious.” He said before continuing, “It’ll cheer you up, there’s nothing better than a little bit of UNO competition to distract yourself and we always have a great time.”

“That’s true.” You mumbled, before speaking a little louder, “I guess it could be a good idea.”

“Do you want me to bring the deck here, or do you wanna play in our usual spot?”

“Our usual spot.” You said as you offered him a small smile.

Standing up, he held his hand out for you to take, to pull you up.

Once you were standing, he wrapped his arm around you, leading the way to the living room.

Despite your dreams being crushed and feeling like a fraud, you couldn’t help but think that despite all of that, going out with Rafe was one of the best decisions you made, it made you realize that maybe you weren’t as dumb as you thought you were, because you’d have to be a complete and total idiot to let a guy like Rafe go, and that despite having other dreams, he would always be your ultimate dream.

He was everything you could have dreamed of growing up and more.

The crisp air sent a shiver through you, causing you to retreat into the oversized hoodie that you had thrown on before heading down towards the beach, which wasn't the wisest choice, but you just had a feeling that the fresh air and rolling sound of the waves would provide a sense of peace that you'd been longing for. 

Having left the field of academia was a hard decision, but it really wasn't your decision. You had been ostracized from the other faculty in the department. 

When you first took the faculty position at the university, you'd been thrilled, and the rest of the faculty were so kind and welcoming, but as soon as they learned who your husband was, everything changed. It all started from a piece of mail with your married name on it and using your maiden name for all of your professional work, and It hadn't taken that long for them to confirm their suspicions. 

Rafe had made a name for himself outside of Cameron Development as he built and grew his own company, and after long nights and networking with the right people, his business flourished even more once he moved the main office to the city. He quickly became one of the most recognizable names. The fact that his wife was a prolific academic researcher wasn't a secret. Most of his associates just wondered whether you worked at the universities in the city or worked from home but respected your decision to not disclose that information, so your career was your own. You had worked towards it for years, and you didn't want everyone to think you only achieved success due to who your husband was, and despite your best efforts, that's what happened. 

Overnight, your colleagues in the department had reduced your degree and research into something bought with your husband's money, portraying you as this gold-digger just looking for something to do. They were brazen in the way they talked about you, sending smug looks of disdain as you walked by, and despite knowing that your research and teaching abilities landed you the job, and as much as you wanted to refute their claims, you couldn't help the doubt that had crept in. It sent your entire sense crumbling into a million little pieces that you weren't sure would be able to be pieced together again, and you hated it. You hated that they had this control over you, the control that led to you turning in a resignation letter. 

The head of the department knew that you had earned your place at the university, and despite her best attempts at remedying the situation and appearing to be impartial to the rest of the department about the tension, a remedy just wasn't possible, so when you handed her your resignation letter, she just gave you a small not and a look of understanding, saying that she was sad that she was losing a strong researcher like you and wished you well in your future endeavors and offered to write a letter of recommendations for any position that requested one. Of course, her kindness meant the world to you. It had been weeks of forlorn hopes that everything would blow over and that your once kind colleagues would once return to that initial warmness that they'd given you when you first started, but it never happened. 

Rafe had suggested a brief respite from the "real world," as he called it, suggesting that it would be nice to go back home to the Outer Banks despite the cold weather and changing leaves in North Carolina. 

The house the two of you had purchased in the affluent neighborhood for summers, when you were fortunate enough not to teach during the summer semesters, and when Rafe could work from the house. It was the perfect escape from the city and, the dream job you had to leave behind in the middle of the semester, and the opportunity to live a few homes away from your parents in Figure 8. 

Without Rafe, you probably wouldn't have thought about coming back during fall, but after one of the most poignantspeeches he's ever given you, you couldn't turn it down because he was right. The career that you'd worked so hard for wasn't over. You'd be able to receive positions at other universities or even a job in the private sector if that's what you decided, and that, for now, an escape was well deserved.

Leaving the city for a while also gave you an abundant amount of time to spend with your families. The tension between Ward and Rafe was still present, but it seemed that Ward, for once, was listening to his son. Understanding that Rafe was willing to put their differences aside for this being a peaceful trip for you.

It was only the second morning since arriving in the Outer Banks when you decided to throw on a pair of sweatpants and Rafe's oversized hoodie and make your way outside of the backyard door to head down to the beach.

As soon as you settled into the sand, you regretted not putting another layer on under Rafe's hoodie, but you snuggled into the hoodie more and took a deep breath of the crisp air and his comforting cologne that still lingered on his hoodie. 

You weren't sure how long you had been outside when you heard a familiar voice mumble behind you, "It's freezing out here, babe." Before settling in behind you and pulling you between his legs, arms wrapping around you.

You leaned your head back into his chest and said, "I just wanted to clear my mind a bit." before chuckling, "Who knew how cold the beach could get in fall."

Dipping his head down, he softly kissed your forehead, "Considering we grew up here, we both know how cold it gets out here…I also see you stole my hoodie."

"It's cozy," you defended.

"It's all yours, babe, you know that." he paused before lowering his voice, "Besides, it looks better on you anyway."

"You didn't have to come out here."

"I'm pretty sure it would be remiss of my husband's duties if I didn't follow my girl into the cold. Besides, I'd follow you anywhere."

"Anywhere?" you questioned.

"Anywhere."

"Even if I decided to set sail from here to Europe?"

"I'll be right there with you."

"Thank you for putting up with me during all of this. I know I've been a lot."

"You're never a lot babe. I know I just said it, but I'm always going to be right behind you," he said, pressing another kiss to your forehead. 

"And I'll always be right behind you."

"I love you."

"I love you more," he mumbled as he rested his head on your shoulder.

"Impossible!" you exclaimed.