ain't no trans—miserable in me it's all cis—miserable and perma—why does this happen to me
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ain't no trans—miserable in me it's all cis—miserable and perma—why does this happen to me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I hate having an ai addiction because I feel so fucking horrible for using ai because of the water wastage and the stealing and yet, I cannot stop and I hate it.
Cw for themes of sa/bright colors
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tw/cw for potential transabelism(?)
i really wish i could be more inclusive and i dont outwardly say anything negative about transabled ppl but as a cisdisabled person i cant help but feel so violently uncomfortable when hearing someone say theyre trans- one of my disabilities, i honestly do want to be understanding and respectful and accepting of everyone and to some extent i do understand the perspective of a lot of transabled people but i really cant help how discomforting it is to know theres someone claiming to be transitioning to have something thats frankly ruined my life
it sucks too because i can never talk about this anywhere really, all the radqueers i know are totally ok and accepting of transabled people which is great but it means i cant rlly bring it up to them without them getting upset with me, and the only people i know that would kind of agree with me are anti-radqueers that would block me if i said i identify with any transIDs, its kinda isolating to have more complicated views and feelings on this stuff in such an all-or-nothing space
I'm torn...
I love this blog and this.. persona, for lack of a better word. It makes me so happy and I'm so glad I can bring so much love and comfort to so many of you.
But I also want to be me. Sure, this blog is a piece of who I am but I would like to show more of myself. Talk about my day. Share my fears and worries. Be.. me. I'm still just a kid myself. Albeit 26 years old at time of writing but I'm still.. very behind when it comes to life skills. I was never given the tools to truly flourish nor shown the care every child deserves. Everything I share here, all of the advice and kindness, is really just taken from what I wished I had had as a child myself.
I don't actually know what I'm doing and I'm also struggling. I don't want to share that struggling with you though because I don't want to ruin the happy mom mask and I know what it's like when a trusted parental figure starts relying on you for emotional support. I don't want to make any of you experience that through me. I'm just.. I don't know.
I love having kiddos and bringing you all comfort but.. I also want friends. People I can share stuff about my day with and the constant new discoveries about my identity and everything. People.. I can also lean on for emotional support without feeling guilty that I'm ruining their perception of me and the happy mother mask I try desperately to maintain here. I just.. sometimes want to be more than a mom, I guess...

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I have a friend who has to sit neear my ex during band, and he's told me that apparently my ex is threatening to make a "exposed" post on Tumblr, Twitter, and TikTok. Mind you, neither of us are famous on ANY of these platforms, and this whole "situation" is NOT that serious. He's all up and arms about me bc god forbid I think that people with mental disorders other than ADHD/Autism/any cluster A/B are valid and not crimes in and of themselves. God forbid I don't care what you ship. God forbid I don't care what you identify as.
None of this stupid discourse actually matters. Callout posts don't do shit except promote harassment. (Which honestly I'm not surprised that this is coming from an anti. Antiship/AntiPara/AntiRQ beings are almost always inherently pro-harassment.)
actualyl im kind of miserable i keep havign flashbacks and stupid shit and i want to talk abt my trauma but i CANT . because it makes me feel . not even sick . like . . . bad . just wrong . and bad . and it makes me angry . the only thing that will make me feel better is physically beating the shit out of my abuser . notging will make me feel better until he dies by my hand .
i wish i could talk abt it . all i want is to talk to somewan about it . i cant twll anywan irl im too scared theyd liek . tell the police . and then id have to tell the police too . and id have to tell my mom . and i cant do tgat to her . she has enough going on . and she wouldnt make me feel any better anyway . i dont tgink anything can . it weighs on me . i feel like screaming i feel so full like i could explode
discord don't have issues when i'm trying to talk to my fucking fp challenge FAIL!!!1!