#queuelio

met at 17: oh shit... in a year i'm going to be an Adult™... that's awful...

brain: hey... remember that awkward thing you did when you were 13?

me: ...........................................time to die.

brain: heh! lol

me, running a hand over my face: yeah, i just can't think straight today...well, *snorts*

my mother, looking at me pleadingly: please...no more gay puns

me, backing out of the room doing finger guns: you'll never stop me

ive been away from tumblr bc ive just generally been too tired or busy to be in such an active environment if that makes sense? like all weekend i literally sat in bed reading shit fanfiction bc everything else is emotionally draining, particularly a website w/ so many emotionally charged users yk

i saw my gp the other week and he told me i have 'moderately severe' depression and anxiety, so he referred me to camhs on saturday which was a fucking wonderful experience i must say

the woman assessed me and is going to refer me for cbt and counselling for all this shit so hopefully ill be sorted out soon and back to normal

im just really tired all the fucking time and i keep having what i think are anxiety attacks just at random throughout the day, idk my heart starts going, i get butterflies and i start shaking? i get them in really stupid situations too, like when i was queueing to buy food after school today and i had friends waiting it happened bc i was suddenly terrified that theyd just leave me bc id taken so long in the queue so i just dropped my food and left instead

so yeah, hopefully some kind of treatment will help me because im sick of being like this