happy pride 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧️

what being a "man" doesnt mean to me: experiencing my gender similarly to a cisgender male

what "having a masculine experience of gender" means to me: using things/terms typically associated with masculinity to express myself; or, subverting typical masculinity entirely while still claiming it as my own masculinity

what "having a masculine experience of gender" doesn't mean to me: identifying as male, wanting to blend in with cisgender men, or to have certain sex traits typically seen as 'male'

-🤍-

being a nonbinary man doesn't mean im male or occupy a similar social position to normative men (cis dyadic etc. men). that's actually the entire point of me using the word nonbinary.

nonbinary people are not some third gender that either gets tacked on to being a man/woman, or just exists on its own. nonbinary people are people with gender identities that do not fit the strict male-female binary. some nonbinary people are male and/or female, but not all are.

and i feel like we could all save a lot of time if we remembered that "man" & "male" are non synonyms, and neither is "woman" & "female."

they are treated as synonyms by cisheteropatriarchy, but it is crucial that you understand these terms have different connotations and are used in different ways, even within cisnormative discussion.

"man" & "woman" are more personable terms. they more clearly describe identity and have a more social connotation. "male" & "female" are more associated with clinical, scientific, or political discussion. all these terms are used within their contexts to reinforce various aspects of the binary.

people are first categorized as "male" or "female" by observing their appearance. then the gender "man" or "woman" is socially imposed on them, depending which is seen as 'acceptable'. gender assignment is a process that starts at birth, but continues throughout our lives.

nonbinary men face so many issues, especially as we begin the transition from who we were told we had to be, to who we actually are. we are constantly at the mercy of people trying to impose all sorts of contradicting gender norms onto us.

this is true for pretty much all TGNI people (trans, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, nonbinary, and intersex people). all of us are held to impossible standards because of the binary, and we all have to be careful not to enforce that binary on each other.

I have a quote for my top surgery and will be scheduling it for Summer 2027. I'll be traveling to Mexico with a friend or two, because it's much more affordable for me than trying to get it here in the US. The surgery itself is just under $5000. I will need to take time off work to recover and I'll also have travel fees. I updated my goal in my GoFundMe to reflect that.

I'm so excited to take this journey and finally emerge in the world in a body that feels like mine! I'm saving all the money I can on my own, and I'll soon add it to my GoFundMe me page for transparency. But I still can't do it without support! Please continue sharing my GoFundMe and my Etsy listing, and donate if you can. ❤️

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4463168831/zines-to-fund-my-top-surgery-read