#queer anthems

Tristan - Patrick Wolf

Genres: Folktronica, Goth Rock, Art Pop

Okay, so this one is definitely gonna be stretching the definition of a "gay pride anthem" quite generously, but hear me out on this one.

There's an undeniable anthemic, queer anti-hero energy festering under the darker lyrics and theatrical mannerisms of Patrick Wolf's 2005 single "Tristan", and I'm gonna tell you all about it.

THE ARTIST

Patrick Wolf is an openly queer and largely subversive singer/songwriter originating from London, UK.

He's a millennial indie folk artist, so naturally he had his big heyday in the latter half of the 2000s, when artists such as Sufjan Stevens, Fleet Foxes, Joanna Newsom and the like were becoming big names in the indie music sphere. The Big Indie Folk Boom of the 2000s, might I call it, which indirectly lead to the subsequent (shudder) Star Bucks Folk or "Stomp Clap Hey" Boom of the early 2010s.

Patrick Wolf has described himself at different times in the past as bisexual, though in more recent interviews he has identified himself as a gay man. Patrick has also remarked in the past how his record labels have tried to pin him down, pushing him to embrace a more camp gay archetype and less of the soft, mildly androgynous energy and aesthetic he often cultivates.

I discovered Patrick's music fairly early on in my coming out years of high school and my freshman year of university. The song in question today was actually one of my first favourite songs from an explicitly queer indie artist, even before I discovered more contemporary artists like Perfume Genius if I am remembering correctly.

To this day, I've still only listened to Patrick's 2005 LP Wind In The Wires, an LP which I highly recommend as a somewhat forgotten classic of its era. The record marries theatrical, angsty poetics and macabre cabaret with beautiful, nocturnal folk chamber music and art pop eccentricities. There's also elements of indie rock in the mix.

It's the kind of record I imagine Oscar Wilde might've made if he was born at the end of 20th century and decided to become a musician (Take that with a metric ton of salt - I read like one or two Oscar Wilde poems in high school).

I'd also highly recommend "The Libertine" and the title track off of that record for a better picture of his unique artistic style. But today, we're gonna be talking about the GAYEST song on the record which is definitely "Tristan".

THE SONG AND WHY IT SLAPS

My name is Tristan...and I am alive.

ugh. uff. HAAHHH ✨

"Tristan" is the vampiric ballad of a man who is a miserable lone wolf and walking contradiction. It's also a complete and total fucking banger, the likes of which is so rarely achieved through such a bizarre approach to pop songwriting.

The track opens with these hollow, mildly grating acoustic guitar twinges, before it all comes together with an accordion riff, piano stabs, and electronic filtered drums and effects creating a very awkward, hiccup-y rhythm. I feel like "Tristan" is wading through swamp water and digging his feet out of sink holes as he pleads his story to whoever will listen.

Patrick snarls and grunts, performing as a sort of beastly creature, and yet an elegant gentleman with his romantic declarations during the chorus. The performance could've been much too goofy in the hands of a lesser talented vocalist, but Wolf pulls it off. Hell, he doesn't just pull it off - he knocks it out of the park.

The lyrics offer the perspective of someone who feels he is monstrous and at war with himself. lines like "I am the victim / but I'm the murderer" paint the picture of self-destruction and self-loathing. But despite his woes and general misery, he compiles his identity together in the chorus with the iconic affirmation that, ultimately, "[he is] Tristan, and [he is] alive". This song is just filled with awesome. It's original, it's dark, it's symbolic, and it's catchy as all hell, even though it probably shouldn't be for how oddly it's conceived. Lesser-known gems like this song are the ones that get me really excited to post my silly little reviews on this music blog that maybe four or five people read each time, because if I can even get just one more person to listen to it, then it will feel like a huge accomplishment on my end.

WHY IT'S GAY

I could just state the obvious that "It's by a gay man and it's about another man so it's gay", but I think we all can dig a little deeper with our queer analysis than that, can't we? Let me offer my interpretation. Have you ever noticed that like, a lot of gay men carry a significant burden of self-loathing? Or how many times have you felt as a gay man, or any type of queer person for that matter, that you were essentially a beast because of the way that society and especially religion has cast you into the role of the dangerous "other"?

Of course, feeling like a monster in the eyes of society in the way that the eponymous Tristan clearly does, will often lead down paths of self-destruction and self-harm. Indirect ways of trying to disengage or even disappear from a world that feels full of rejection for you as a person.

In the gay male community especially, I've seen this manifest a lot in the forms of substance abuse, as well as the phenomenon some psychologists and social scientists are referring to as "sex as self-injury". I have known of, and even met a few Tristans in my life time, and many of us have some degree of a Tristan personality inside of us to varying extents. In a different timeline, I could've even become a full-on Tristan myself, and I was certainly not terribly far from it during my worst years. it's very easy to interpret this song just as a cautionary tale, so why should I include this in a list of "gay PRIDE" anthems? Well, it's complicated.

Pride isn't always the way that mainstream media depicts it. It's not always bright pink feather boas and sunny days and big beautiful happy gay couples and radiant drag queens.

Sometimes pride is just having the ability to wake up the next morning and the will to press on. It's having the self-respect to fight for your autonomy to live as the person you truly are.

Tristan states it himself. He might be all of these things: troubled, a tragedy, a victim, metaphorically fucked, but he is also clearly not willing to give up. He's "working for joy on overtime", fighting for his happiness. He is Tristan, and he is alive, and that's just a little bit uplifting, isn't it? It is often the music that acknowledges the pain in this world, and tells you to press on despite everything, that has gotten me through my darkest hours. That includes, of course, having to navigate all of the bullshit homophobia online and in the real world.

And it's never that far off - I live in the statistically gayest province of one of the most LGBTQ-friendly countries in the world, and there was still a reported hate crime in my own city this year. Patrick Wolf himself was once the victim of a hate crime by bouncers at a concert, and experienced relentless bullying in his school years. "Tristan" is very likely informed by his lived experiences.

Don't get me wrong - when I'm feeling my oats and going to a gay club, I expect to be dancing to some loud and proud disco bangers. We need that kind of music in the community to empower us and give us that collective hope.

But there is definitely a much needed place as well for more complex, bittersweet, and even tragic gay anthems in the lives of gay men, and all queer people in general. We need anthems that tell our stories without any pretenses. We need to hear that our pain is real, just as much as we need to be told to keep going.

oh you thought i didn't have evidence?

we're all bored, we're all so tired of everything/we wait for trains that just aren't coming aspecs being generally disinterested in romance/sex, which is, to society, everything, and waiting for "the right person", who isn't coming

'cause baby i could build a castle/out of all the bricks they threw at me aphobia is real, people

baby we're the new romantics/come on, come along with me aspecs redefining the way the world thinks about romance, also "new romantics" could very easily be replaced with "aromantics"

heartbreak is the national anthem/we sing it proudly aros being proud of rejecting love/romance, esp. loveless/lovequeer/heartless aros

we are too busy dancing/to get knocked off our feet some of these don't even need explanations

baby we're the new romantics/the best people in life are free damn right they are!!

it's poker/he can't see it in my face/but i'm about to play my ace ...need i say more

we need love/but all we want is danger shoutout to arospecs who enjoy romance in some capacity/romance positive aros! also could be seen as mocking society telling us that we "need love"

Immaculate queer vibes!!

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