#qdobawi

Weight: 586 grams (20.65 oz)

Is this thing on? Hello, friends. I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again. Some of you may have thought that I gave up on the beans, but I'm still beanin' around. So what have I been up to? Mostly the same old shit. All Messed Up went well this year. I'm training for the Ride Across Wisconsin in August. I got my partner to try Qdoba for the first time. As far as I know, that's still the only time. I've got a pretty neat sourdough starter that I have mostly been using to make dank pancakes from the discard. I brewed some ginger beer that was pretty good. Oh, and I bought a house! I've still been going to Qdoba on occasion, but I need to go to the location at Water & Juneau with the Grand Ave food court gone. They've been treating me pretty well there. I don't have the scale at work anymore to check the weight, but I'd say things have been pretty consistently satisfactory. I had to work early today and didn't have time to eat breakfast. I biked over to Water Street and found something new! Qdoba now has the Impossible™ fake meat stuff. I decided I needed to try that. I got the burrito the same way I always do, but they put on some of that faux meat stuff. I didn't tell them I wanted it until they had already given me all my rice and beans. The rice and beans were all adequate portions. The veggies didn't look all that great, like they had been sitting a while, but I was getting that beef, baby! I don't care about veggies anymore. I just want those spicy burger bits. It is really hard to differentiate it from ground beef, or at least what I remember ground beef tasting like. They didn't give me a ton of it, and it got kind of lost in the rest of the burrito. Again, I couldn't weigh the thing since I brought my scale home, but I would guess this one was above 650 grams for sure. I'm not so sure that the Impossible stuff is really worth the extra $2 (in this economy!?). There's a big difference in my mind between a burrito that comes in at just under $8 and a burrito that comes to just over $10 after tax. Things like Beyond Meat and Impossible Burgers are nice options to have, but I believe they are unnecessary in a burrito. They're kind of a gimmick. Maybe if I was getting some other kind of entree, it would be more worth it, but for real, what else is there to eat at Qdoba for people like me? Hey, thanks for reading. I miss you. Best wishes.

Friends, foes, beanheads, It is with a heavy heart that I come before you today with some news of the closing of the Qdoba in the Grand Avenue Mall. You may have seen my post from January 12 of the very personalized email that Qdoba sent to me (and I assume only me) regarding the closure of that particular store. Last week I had to go check it out for myself. I had to see it with my own eyes so that I could have some closure. It has taken me until now to put my feelings into words. The mall was looking less and less recognizable. There were a couple women who also seemed in awe of the project that was underway and held up a phone to snap a photo. A security guard yelled at them and said no pictures were allowed. That's what the mall has become, my friends. It is no longer a place for the People. It is a place for fancy new apartments and an eventual so-called "food hall". I got to the stairs near where the old Grand Corner convenience store once stood, and they were blocked off. I continued walking toward the main concourse of the mall, and that's when I saw it. Or I guess, that's when I didn't see it. Giant sheets of plastic draped all around the 3rd floor. I couldn't even see the Qdoba one last time. So this is it. This is the end of an era. I am left feeling like I have lost a sense of purpose. Some people have suggested new projects for me to start. These ideas will be taken into consideration, but I think what I need right now is some time. I promise I am not done writing. I'm also not done eating beans. I'll find a new creative outlet, and maybe come back to Both Kinds of Beans when the opportunity presents itself. I'm going to say right now that I am available for private appearances. Message the Facebook or Tumblr pages to make arrangements. Now I guess it's time to say thank you to a few people. I'd like to thank Ashley, who made my burritos so big and gave me a reason to keep coming to Qdoba. I'd like to thank the Technician for just being so dang slick and had a great sense of humor. He made me feel special as a customer. I'd like to thank The Abbott, whose voice was like a song. I hope he's still wooing people somewhere with that sexy voice and those careful hands. I'd like to thank The Matriarch for keeping me in line and not letting my head get too big, while still regularly providing me with good burritos. I'd like to thank The Game, as he was the shining star in the later days when the end was apparent. He knew what I liked, and he continued to deliver the goods. I'd like to thank number-one sponsor, Rory, who supported the project from the very beginning in both a financial sense and also in providing morale. Rory helped me believe in what I was doing. Thank you to all the others who sponsored my work. I hope I made you all proud. I must also thank Hannah, our fearless editor. Hannah's encouragement and meticulous record keeping of our conversations about my burritos made the blog possible. Hannah proofread my work, fixed countless typos, managed the blog, and she doesn't even really like beans all that much! And finally, I'd like to thank all of you, dear readers. I wouldn't have continued doing this for three years if I didn't have your love. No matter what happens, I'll never forget the support you all gave me. Your Bean Boy 4 Life, Charlie

Again, I am sorry to leave you for so long. My days at work lately have not allowed me the time to go get burritos, and if I can be honest with you, my Beanheads, I am worrying that the repetitive nature of this blog is making it stale like the last tortilla in the pack. The uncertainty of the future of the Grand Ave food court also makes me wary of investing my emotional labor into this blog. The world is changing, and things aren't always in our control, and that can be scary. Please just bear with me for now. If my burritos continue to be so small, then I don't see the point in continuing this journey. There were two people behind the counter today who I had never seen before. The one who made my burrito was an older guy, and he gave me the smallest portion of rice ever, and I knew right away this burrito was going to be a sad one. Tiny rice. Tiny beans. Tiny fajitas. Today was a defeat. To be honest, I'm surprised this thing weighed as much as it did. It was probably all corn. The guy who rang me up was a young guy with dyed reddish pink hair and gauged ears. The dye job must have been recent and done himself, because his forehead was stained pink. So far all the burritos I've got with all of my points have been pretty tiny beans and a pretty big let down. I've still got one left, so I need to keep some hope alive that I'll get a decent one next time. Weight: 522 grams (18.40 oz)

And then there were three... The food court is down another eatery, but fortunately Qdoba still stands. The Subway is closed. That's a little unexpected because the sandwich giant that is Subway always seemed like they were too big to fail. But then again, why bother to keep a location open in this dying mall that will eventually be renovated? You can spit in downtown Milwaukee and hit a Subway. There are a couple more within a few blocks, and I'd bet that the Grand Avenue Subway was probably the lowest-grossing store in the vicinity. That leaves just three establishments: Qdoba, Panda Express, and Tomato. Who do you think will be the last one standing? Maybe we could start taking bets. I don't know anything about betting, because I think gambling is a sin against God. Maybe I should start, though, because I got a feeling Qdoba will stand the longest. Pauly D made my burrito today. He was definitely quick about it. The portions were all pretty average. The black beans were initially a very small scoop, but he put the spoon back in and got a few more for me. I still think it was a little weak. I got more of the pinto beans, but they looked a little dry. Like the liquid in the pan had evaporated, or at least thickened up. I didn't really see the last phases of the burrito process, because another worker (one who I have no name for) started to ring me up at the register. I trusted Pauly not to make any big mistakes. There's probably a reason he wears one of the cool collared shirts instead of the t-shirts that the other Qdoba workers wear. This burrito looked a little bigger than it actually was. It was wrapped up nicely, and all of the ingredients were in good proportion to one another, but I think it could have used about 10% more of everything all around. Hey, today is a very special day. It's my friend Molly's birthday. I've known Molly for most of my life. She's one of the few avid readers of this blog, and she encourages me to continue to write all the good stuff. She's going to be able to put some letters after her name pretty soon, which is really cool if you ask me. We're going to party tomorrow night, because she's a responsible adult and is waiting until the weekend to party. Happy birthday, Molly! Weight: 645 grams (22.75 oz)

I get to work Dinosaur Jr. tonight, and I am pretty psyched about that. Isn't that just the cutest name? Dinosaur Jr. It's like a little itty bitty thunder lizard. Adorable. Just kidding. I've seen them a few times, and they're great. I know it doesn't really have anything to do with baby dinosaurs. I needed to get fueled up before heading to Turner tonight, so I got a coffee and a burrito. The Matriarch was working today, wearing a bright pink Qdoba polo shirt. I know she must recognize me, right? You'd think so. And I began my order the way I always do, by saying "vegetarian burrito", but she still asked me "what kind of meat?" after we got past the beans. Speaking of the beans, she gave me some pretty good scoops of each. I thought maybe she was going to go for a second scoop of rice in the very beginning, but she did not. It could have used more rice. That's part of why I always say it's vegetarian in the beginning, so that they hopefully load me up on the beans and rice. The veggie pan was nearly empty, and the peppers and onions were all just sitting in a big pool of their own liquid. There wasn't much texture to them. They were pretty limp. The lettuce was pale and not great-looking, but I took it. It did its job. As usual, The Matriarch did some good guacamole distribution, making sure it all got to where it needed to go. She wraps a burrito better than anyone else on the roster at that Qdoba. I know I don't do a whole lot of guessing anymore as to the weight of the burrito, but let me tell you I nailed the one today. I was only off by one gram. Weight: 659 grams (23.25 oz)

I am writing this a few hours after eating the burrito. It's been a pretty busy day. A certain americana band of brothers is in town, and their fans are pretty intense. I'll do my best to recount my bean experience to you. The mall was incredibly quiet today. I still can't believe the Grand Corner convenience store is gone. As I walked up the stairs, I heard absolutely no sounds coming from the food court. I was very afraid I was going to find a foodless court atop the stairs. What would I do if that happens? Maybe the question is what will I do when it happens? I'll probably just have to commit seppuku right there, letting my blood spill onto the food court floor, and down the escalator, and maybe some of my blood will mix with some leftover bean juice. My juicy remains will seep into and soak and stain the walls of the Grand Avenue Mall, and I'll become a part of the mall until it is no more. Maybe I'll livestream it! Not today, though. Today Pauly D was there, and I live to eat another burrito. The brown rice grains looked bigger and puffier than normal. I don't know if they got a different strain of rice, or maybe they cooked the rice with more water or something? It was stickier than usual. I don't have a strong opinion about how it tasted, just an observation, but because it was so sticky, a significant amount stuck to the spoon Pauly served me with. I don't believe I got the full intended portion. The beans weren't that much better. Definitely some half-and-half beans instead of both kinds of beans. At least the veggies looked pretty good today, but again, he didn't really give me a ton. The shining star today was definitely the guac, which usually doesn't stand out. Of course I always appreciate the guacamole, and I miss it when it's not there, and I talk shit when it's not distributed well, but today was different. The guacamole tasted extra fresh and zesty. I loved it. Even though I think Pauly D did me kind of  dirty today, I still have positive feelings because of the guacamole. I might try to get one more burrito in before I go on a trip to Denver to visit my brother next week. I'm not sure if I'll visit any exotic Qdobas on my journey, but there's always the possibility. Weight: 569 grams (20.05 oz)