#pyro x reader

Scout: Lego flowers

When he asked spy for some advice on what flowers to get you, the response was to get you something unique that would impress you.

So the most logical thing for Scout was to get you a Lego flower set since the flowers won't wither and you will have a nice decoration that will remind you of him.

Soldier: wild flowers

He saw some dried flowers on the side of the road that reminded him of you.

Gathered a handfull of those and came running to show them to you. Ain't that sweet?

Pyro: crocheted flowers

He spend 3 months learning how to crochet and make them.

Took multiple tries before they turned out perfect and you can tell he poured all his love in them.

Demoman: Generic bouquet

He is sweet and lovable, but in reality, I don't think he knows anything about romance.

Therefore, he will get you the first most basic premade flower bouquet that his eye landed on. Sorry...

Heavy: Something classy

He can be described as stupid by some and terrifying by others, but at heart he is a distinguished gentleman.

He will get you something simple, but delicate.

Engineer: Tea flowers

He is a man that priorities functionality over looks so he will get you a bouquet of different flowers like lavander, roses or chamomile that you can dry and use for tea.

Medic: Also clasic, but bigger

Just like Heavy, he is a gentleman and will get you something classy.

But since he is a very flamboyant guy, Medic will have to show off by getting you the biggest bouquet he could find.

Spy: Something fancy

This motherfucker is an expert in romance and expensive things and so he will go all in by getting you the biggest and most breathtaking flower bouquet you've only seen on Pinterest boards.

Sniper: Handpicked

— SCOUT:

☆ ┈ So, speaking of how a child ended up on base and was walking around peacefully...

☆ ┈ Imagine that you either lost your parents or got lost at all, and while wandering around, you accidentally stumbled upon the base, where Miss Pauling soon found you.

☆ ┈ The Administrator said that she didn't care what happened to you as long as you didn't interfere with the battles, and Miss Pauling couldn't bring herself to kill you, so..

☆ ┈ Yeah, now she's looking after you, and you sometimes hang out at the base.

☆ ┈ It would seem that Scout is the youngest of the mercenaries, which means he's the best at dealing with children, so what could go wrong?

☆ ┈ Everything. Everything went wrong. Let's not forget that Scout is incredibly overconfident, reckless, arrogant, and often gets into trouble.

☆ ┈ In other words, you won't have any trouble getting along with him, but you're not exactly safe with him.

☆ ┈ His first reaction to you was probably anxiety, as he might have been afraid that you were Miss Pauling's child or something like that, and that he didn't stand a chance now lol.

☆ ┈ Upon learning that you were just a random child whose parents weren't responding, Scout initially felt relieved before realizing that there was a child on the base.

☆ ┈ Jeremy isn't sure how to handle children, and after some thought, he decided that the best course of action was to teach you to be as cool as he is!

☆ ┈ Scout is definitely not the best mercenary to look after the kids, but he's better than the others. He's probably in the top five. He's the perfect middle ground.

☆ ┈ He's probably the first one to find out about your presence, which is why you spend the most time with him.

☆ ┈ Scout gives you a brief introduction to all the mercenaries (probably half-made up by him), and he's bragging about himself to make himself look good in your eyes.

☆ ┈ He doesn't know how to treat a child, so his behavior is similar to how his mother treats him, but in a more cheeky way.

☆ ┈ He will give you one of his caps, bragging that you are now his honorary follower. I think he's going to forget your name and call you "Mini Scout".

☆ ┈ He's probably going to fight with someone if the mercenaries decide that you should leave, because he doesn't want to lose his mini companion.

☆ ┈ Come on, you're almost as cool as he is! Let him enjoy the company that truly appreciates his skills >:/

☆ ┈ In any case, the mercenaries don't bother you (because Miss Pauling is watching over you, and she won't be happy if you get into trouble), soo Scout takes advantage of this to spend time with you when you're at the base.

☆ ┈ He plays baseball with you, that's for sure. At first, you don't do very well because he's terrible at explaining how to play, but later, by copying his moves, you start playing well.

☆ ┈ He jokes that you're his best opponent (because the other mercenaries aren't particularly eager to play with him), making you feel proud.

☆ ┈ Usually, when you spend time with Scout, it's outside. You either play and fooling around or just sit and relax after the games, while he talks loudly to you.

☆ ┈ He always brings cans of Bonk! for you two and some sweets that he stole from the Teufort store.

☆ ┈ He probably accidentally hit you with a ball a couple of times while you were playing baseball, and got kicked in the back a couple of times for being careless.

☆ ┈ If you're injured, he'll probably be panicked and try to help you first, and then he'll take you to someone who can properly treat you (but not Medic, he doesn't trust him when it comes to you)

☆ ┈ Jeremy will probably try to instill hatred in you towards The BLU Team. Even if you've never met them, he'll keep complaining about how they're all jerks. Especially when their team is losing.

☆ ┈ Knowing him, he'll always boast to you that the entire team will win because of him, because he's the best mercenary.

☆ ┈ Usually, when there's a possibility of a battle breaking out while you're at the base, Miss Pauling keeps you close to her, but sometimes you sneak away and accidentally end up on the battlefield.

☆ ┈ If Scout sees you on the battlefield, surrounded by blood and probably with someone's dead body nearby, his soul will leave his body, then return, and he'll run to take you somewhere safe.

☆ ┈ He wants to show off to you, yea, but Scout is terrified that a single stray bullet could take your life, and he's attached to you and doesn't want that to happen.

☆ ┈ He'll yell at any member of The BLU Team, threatening them not to even look at you. In fact, he might even draw the attention of The BLU Team to the fact that there's a child hanging around The RED Team's base.

☆ ┈ Almost the entire team doesn't trust him with you, except maybe Pyro, and even Pyro is against it because they want you to spend time with them instead of Scout.

☆ ┈ For him, the fact that you're spending time with other mercenaries is even worse than when you're not at the base.

☆ ┈ Scout often runs away with you when one of the other mercenaries is looking out for you, because with him you have more opportunities to have fun. And he's damn proud of it and brags about it to everyone.

☆ ┈ Well, you know, Jeremy's not bad at babysitting, considering what happened to him in the comics. He just needs to learn to understand that you're still a child and there are certain things you shouldn't do.

— "Not a bad game, kiddo. Maybe you'll even be able to beat me soon? Haha!"

With a grin, Scout playfully nudges you with his elbow, not too hard, but enough to make your body wobble slightly. Before you could complain that you lost today's game, he handed you a sandwich, probably to appease you. You picked up it, accepting his bribe, hungry after a long game.

— "..Did you get it from Heavy? Wouldn't he be angry?"

— "Ha! Who cares?" — Scout let out an impudent laugh, shrugging his shoulders, clearly not caring about the consequences. He reached out to take off his cap and pull it over your eyes, chuckling at your complaints, before he heard loud screams from the base.

Will he ever have the opportunity to spend time with you without the interference of others?!

— SOLDIER:

☆ ┈ Oh my god

☆ ┈ The fact that you're a child doesn't save you from being tried to be raised as a soldier.

☆ ┈ Just seeing you walking around the base, Soldier is sure that it's too early for you to walk around here, you're not a mercenary after all..

☆ ┈ And he couldn't think of anything better than to make you a mercenary.

☆ ┈ Probably ranks seventh among the others. Quite bad, but there are worse ones.

☆ ┈ He doesn't care about where you're from, who you belong to, or whether you should be here. To him, these questions seem like nothing more than a doubt in his attempts to prepare you to become a fighter.

☆ ┈ He probably often barges in when you're spending time with Scout, literally just picking you up and taking you with him to force you to train.

☆ ┈ Scout, by the way, isn't the only one Soldier steals you from. Soldier can approach you at any time, no matter who you're with, and just drag you away. The only one it doesn't work with is Demo because of their friendship.

☆ ┈ Soldier has no idea how to handle a child because he only knows how to handle soldiers (he doesn't even know that, but he's sure he's doing it), so you're treated like a recruit in the army.

☆ ┈ He constantly carries you in his arms because he thinks you're weak, and "he's here to help you."

☆ ┈ I wouldn't be surprised if he initially annoyed you a lot, but over time he will get used to you and become more of a funny one rather than annoying.

☆ ┈ Jane, probably like Scout, will forget your name 5 seconds after he hears it, although he doesn't really care, he didn't intend to remember it.

☆ ┈ At the beginning he just called you "soldier" or "rookie", but after getting used to you, he started calling you surprisingly pretty normal nicknames. You know, like in the game he calls Medic "cupcake", something like that.

☆ ┈ Soldier consistently loads you with training. Probably give you something impossible for your physical condition, like run 2 kilometers around the base or do 1000 push-ups on your fingers.

☆ ┈ At least after you get tired without even doing a quarter (it's understandable), he will dismiss it, thinking that as a new recruit it is forgivable and give you a 5-minute break, giving you the opportunity to escape.

☆ ┈ He is perplexed every time how you manage to get away. He could yell at you for it, but he respects the fact that you were able to escape from such an experienced fighter as he, so he will let it slide. But only once!

(nope, not once)

☆ ┈ Probably give you one of his helmets, because he collects them as war trophies. Almost your whole head fits in it, but looking at him it becomes clear why he doesn't care.

☆ ┈ When he meets you, he doesn't say hello, but asks you how to behave in a certain situation on the battlefield, and even if you say it correctly, he will be displeased, because there's literally no right answer for him.

☆ ┈ Expect Soldier to tell you "the story of the great America" at least 4 times a day. If you are at least a little familiar with the real history, probably you will feel sick from his words. Press F.

☆ ┈ He thinks that all the other mercenaries suck at "educating you," which is why he constantly takes you with him.

☆ ┈ It's not uncommon for Jane to be the first to argue with others about what your presence at the base should be.

☆ ┈ Yes, he can be annoying and noisy, constantly talking nonsense and forcing you to train as if you were really a mercenary...

☆ ┈ But he allowed you to try using his rocket launcher! To the horror of the adequate mercenaries in this place.

☆ ┈ Not that he cared. Soldier as a whole is not particularly worried that something might go wrong with you.

☆ ┈ ..Now go and see how to wring the neck of the enemy!

☆ ┈ Soldier is so used to the fact that mercenaries just respawn that he didn't even think about the fact that you might die on the battlefield, so sometimes he can bring you with him.

☆ ┈ He probably killed someone from The BLU Team in front of your eyes, thinking that if he showed you how to get rid of enemies, you would add the enthusiasm of a soldier. I hope you have strong nerves.

— "RECRUIT! Where are you?! Shirking your trainings won't make you a real soldier!"

You didn't even have time to say anything, as you saw a red spot from the base moving quickly in your direction, and soon you were casually picked up in your arms and the smug face (or rather only half) of Soldier appeared before your eyes.

— "HA! No one can hide from training! Now-"

— "Whoa whoa whoa, man, wait a minute, you can't just grab them and take them with you! They're hanging out with me, so go do whatever crap you usually do or somethin' and leave us!"

Scout exclaimed indignantly, trying to pull you out of Soldier's hands, which caused him to let you go and you fell to the ground unpleasantly. Well, it could have been worse..

— "..I don't remember asking for a boy's opinion, maggot!"

Deciding that while these two are fighting, you should go somewhere else to take a break from the hustle and bustle, you stealthily move away to the entrance of the base and walk briskly down the corridors.

— PYRO:

☆ ┈ I don't even know if I should feel sorry for you or not.

☆ ┈ Pyro themselves behaves like a child, and their bloody actions only make the situation worse, so you rarely find yourself next to them.

☆ ┈ Of course they won't hurt you! They may accidentally squeeze you too hard, but they will never do anything serious, so there is no reason for you to worry about injuries.

☆ ┈ But, eh, although they mean no harm, their appearance can be quite frightening.

☆ ┈ In eighth place after Soldier. They really treat you well, but they don't intentionally make you uncomfortable

☆ ┈ Surely your first meeting with Pyro was really creepy. You were just sitting quietly in a quiet corner of the base, hiding from Soldier, hoping that he would soon forget about you, when you hear loud footsteps and heavy breathing nearby.

☆ ┈ Sounds like a scene from a typical horror movie, right?

☆ ┈ In any case, Pyro is thrilled to see you! They already see their enemies as something cute and funny, rather than mercenaries who want to kill them, so they probably see you as a little princess/prince.

☆ ┈ They often drags you by the hand with them, humming something you don't understand. They wanted to carry you in their arms, but you don't seem to like it very much :(( They wonder why..

☆ ┈ Perhaps if they had known that these were not drops of water on their suit, but a blood of mercenaries from the enemy team, they would have understood?

☆ ┈ They probably the reason why you've seen most of The BLU Team's corpses. They often brings their remains, and if you manage to get on the battlefield and you notice Pyro, it generally resembles a bloodbath.

☆ ┈ The smell of fried meat is in the air as another BLU mercenary falls dead from having their head smashed in with an axe, and Pyro waves at you affably, indicating with their hand that you should wait for them at the base until they finish.

☆ ┈ To be honest, you doubted Pyro's sanity before, and after that incident you realized that it didn't exist as such.

☆ ┈ They regularly arrange tea parties with you. This is probably the most peaceful time around them, when you drink an actual tea, sitting in a strange, but charming setting.

☆ ┈ You, Pyro, and a few stuffed animals are sitting at a round table that has been ineptly painted pink, with cups of real tea (surprising, right?) and a few snacks from the kitchen on the table. Sometimes Engie is sitting with you if he's not too busy, but that's rare.

☆ ┈ In these moments, Pyro puts a crown on your head, and although you have no idea what's going on in their mind, they're clearly trying to make the moment special for you.

☆ ┈ Each of the mercenaries shows their affection in different ways. For Pyro, it's through gifts! Of all the mercenaries, they're the ones who bring you all sorts of items in attempt to make you happy.

☆ ┈ However, these items are usually useless or weird, such as burnt flowers wrapped in wire or charred skulls that they've likely brought from battle.

☆ ┈ Yea, Pyro has a strong affinity for anything related to fire, which is why most of the gifts have somehow survived the fire (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not).

☆ ┈ Occasionally, you'll receive a normal gift, like a stuffed animal. It's usually a unicorn or another cute-looking animal.

☆ ┈ They always get upset when they see you sad or angry, so if they see you in a bad mood, they'll wrap their arms around you, squeezing you too tightly, leaving you hanging limply in their arms.

☆ ┈ Whether you're a teenager or a young child, they see you as something in between, appearing as something little and charming. It would even be cute if it weren't for the fact that they don't understand reality.

☆ ┈ Pyro doesn't understand why you sometimes suddenly leave the base, and they miss you dearly. If they had their way, you'd stay at the base forever...

☆ ┈ ..But apparently, if you're leaving, it's for a good reason. In any case, they'll be waiting for you, and when you return, they'll give you a drawing of the two of you!

Wandering through the corridors of The RED Team base, you hear a soft but distinct hum nearby. Everyone is probably busy with their own tasks right now.

Eh, doesn't matter. You only need a sandwich to start your day off right.

As you pass by the mercenaries' rooms, you notice a quiet sound coming from Pyro's room, and you see that the door is slightly ajar.

Intrigued, you approached the door with quiet steps and looked inside. You were greeted by a familiar sight, where Pyro was sitting at a table, pretending to have a tea party, with drawing of you, pinned to the chair, plush toys...

Deciding that you'll come back another time, you quickly leave before they look up to see if there's anyone at the door.

— ENGINEER:

☆ ┈ Oh, we've reached the mercenaries who can handle children properly.

☆ ┈ Engineer was one of the few who really cared about what the child was doing at the base. This is a place of battles, not a playground, you know, children definitely don't belong here.

☆ ┈ He suggested that you should be taken to the city, but Scout objected, distorting Miss Pauling's explanation (since he didn't remember it very well) why you were here and that you had nowhere to go in general.

☆ ┈ You know, he has pretty dubious feelings about it. After all, it's dangerous for you here, you never know if you'll get hurt or see, well, things that you shouldn't see..

☆ ┈ But, uh, seems like you're already getting used to this place, so maybe if he keep an eye on you, then everything will be fine...

☆ ┈ Like, in any case, what can he do? Take you to the city on his own? It's unlikely that you'll be better off there, alone, with nowhere to go, surrounded by idiots who probably don't even remember their own names.

☆ ┈ Engie is firmly in second place among the mercenaries who treat you best. Probably, if it weren't his tendency to be overprotective, he would have been in the first place.

☆ ┈ No matter what anyone says, I can see how Engineer treats you, perhaps a little more defensively than he should.

☆ ┈ On the other hand, he has a great excuse: it's actually dangerous for you to be here. There are people here who can't be trusted with a child at all (he doesn't want to name names, but ahem, Soldier and Medic...)

☆ ┈ I don't know, I just think he's one of the few people who takes the fact that now the team have a child in their base seriously.

☆ ┈ I wouldn't be surprised if Dell, if not your favorite, is definitely one of them, because he's so nice to you! A pure parental figure.

☆ ┈ He often calms you down if you're worried about something, he's actually interested in your opinion and listens to your words, and it's just nice to spend time with him because you feel that he cares about you.

☆ ┈ Engineer is a busy guy, he has a lot of work, but..for you, he is ready to change his schedule a little.

☆ ┈ Usually, if you get tired of playing with Scout and "training" with Soldier, or you get bored with the company of Heavy and Sniper, you come to him.

☆ ┈ You ask him what he's doing again, and he explains something to you in a pleasant voice about mechanisms in which, frankly, you don't understand anything, but you listen to him with interest anyway.

☆ ┈ Of course, he understands that you don't know what he's talking about at all, but he's amused by how attentively you're listening to him. You remind him of himself as a child..

☆ ┈ Usually, when he realizes that he's gotten carried away, he smoothly changes the subject to how your day went and what you were doing while you weren't at the base.

☆ ┈ You know, Engineer doesn't want to seem intrusive or anything, but he thinks that you shouldn't spending time with some of the mercenaries.

☆ ┈ Dell is not happy that Medic and Soldier are trying to make you the same madmen, thta Scout consistently poses a threat to you, and that after visiting Spy you disappear for a few hours and then show up in the kitchen as if nothing had happened.

☆ ┈ You have the right to choose how you spend your time among The RED Team, but he would appreciate it if you came to him from time to time instead of hanging around a bunch of crazies.

☆ ┈ If you are interested in his work..Well, he'll be happy to show you how it all works!

☆ ┈ Engineer tells you how his creations work in general, trying to explain it in a way that you would understand. It would be nice if he had a little assistant..

☆ ┈ By the way, you don't have to worry about him if you ever accidentally (or intentionally) get on the battlefield, because he has a Sentry Gun to protect you.

☆ ┈ Well, he will probably have a heart attack twice if he sees you on the battlefield and tells you to go to a safe place, but you were able to see his inventions in action, hooray!

☆ ┈ Imagine that Blu Spy was about to break his Sentry Gun or Dispenser, and you were there, causing him to fall into a stupor for a moment. It'll probably make him and the whole The BLU Team wonder what the hell a kid is doing with the RED Team.

☆ ┈ In short, to sum up, Engineer is probably one of the best people to spend time with mercenaries. Have fun!

Yep, sandwich was delicious. But it's a pity that there wasn't much of it, and now you want more...

Oh, maybe Heavy can share with you? You could do it yourself, but they don't trust you with the knife. You wonder where he is...

With your hand, brushing off the crumbs from your face that stick to your mouth, you look into Heavy's room without a doubt..But he's not there.

Damn.

Hearing a noise nearby, you quickly stepped back from the door, fearing that you had been spotted, but based on the curses and grumbling, it seemed like something had fallen in the workshop.

Just a few steps away from the workshop, you see Engie standing over..what was it, Sentry? You don't remember very well, to be honest... And although you didn't want to distract him from his work, you had a question to ask.

— "Engie." — you called out to him, causing him to straighten up and turn to you, and in a second, his confused expression turned into his usual smile.

— "Hey there, kiddo." — he greeted you briefly but warmly, turning back to the table, continuing to do something — "I'd love to chat, but I'm knee-deep in work right now. You can wait here if ya want."

— "Actually, I was wondering if you knew where Heavy was.."

— "That big guy? Likely stuffing himself."

Welp, you don't need to be told twice, you've heard everything you wanted to hear, and you walked out of the workshop with an impatient stride.

Engineer just turned his head to ask why you were looking for Heavy in the first place, but you were already gone. He just shook his head and returned to work, muttering something about how fidgety you were.

— HEAVY:

☆ ┈ Here he is, the best of the best.

☆ ┈ Maybe some think that Heavy wouldn't make a good caregiver, BUT guys he had three younger sisters to look after, so he knows exactly how to handle a child.

☆ ┈ He's definitely the best of all mercenaries when it comes to hanging out with you.

☆ ┈ He's a family guy, so it's not even a task for him, but rather an opportunity to take a break from his life as a mercenary.

☆ ┈ He was originally going to take you to civilization, like Engineer, because obviously the child couldn't just be in such a wilderness and most likely you're from Tuefort.

☆ ┈ But, um, since you don't have a place to go, maybe leave you here not so bad idea..

☆ ┈ Heavy is a man of few words. He prefers action over words, so it might be challenging to get along with him at first, but you'll likely come to consider him your best friend or something like that.

☆ ┈ At first, Heavy might even seem intimidating, so you'll avoid him for a while, much to his frustration.

☆ ┈ Over time, you notice that he, in general, seems more attractive company than Spy or Soldier, so one day you make an effort to get to know him, approaching him and starting a conversation.

☆ ┈ From then on, you'll often find yourself by Heavy's side. Sometimes it's nice to just sit with someone in silence after a busy day, you know.

☆ ┈ For Mikhail, you're a reminder of his family. You reminds him of his sisters and his childhood..Probably, that's why he's especially soft with you.

☆ ┈ Remember how he said that he wasn't afraid of anyone, but Pyro scared him? Well, this is a similar situation. Heavy doesn't have any weaknesses. But he does have a soft spot for you..

☆ ┈ Your company is like a vacation for him. He feels at peace when you're around, even though your activity may be a bit more than he can handle.

☆ ┈ I guess other mercenaries share this feeling with him, because he can't explain how it is that there's always confusion around you, and many try to win you over.

☆ ┈ Little men are willing to fight for you. Funny. He knows that their fights won't make any difference.

☆ ┈ Heavy introduces you to Sasha and tells you about it and his family. He speaks so convincingly about Sasha being alive that at some point, you'll start to believe it yourself.

☆ ┈ He'll probably ask you about your family, because he'd like to know how it is that you're now free to roam around the base.

☆ ┈ TELL HIM THAT YOU CONSIDER THE MERCENARIES YOUR FAMILY, it will be a strong blow to his heart.

☆ ┈ Mikhail will try to teach you Russian if you're interested. The process is slow, but you're making progress. He's proud.

☆ ┈ It's not surprising that you'll start to show interest in weapons over time, considering that you spend a lot of time around the damn mercenaries, who have a lot of weapons.

☆ ┈ Heavy doesn't approve of the fact that some of the mercenaries don't take it seriously, because weapons are not toys for children.

☆ ┈ Speaking of toys..To make you lose interest in real weapons, he will buy you a toy gun when he has some free time.

☆ ┈ Watching Heavy explaining to you with a serious face how to use your new "weapon" while you stand there, filled with joy, makes me think that it's a damn smart move.

☆ ┈ I'm not even sure if you'll ever accidentally slip onto the battlefield with this guy by your side. He's always there to remind you to stay away from anything silly.

☆ ┈ How is it that he's always by your side? You'd like to know, but for now, this mystery remains hidden from you...

☆ ┈ He's more of a listener than yapper. He allows you to express yourself about everything that has happened to you during your time at the base, while he patiently listens to you without saying a word.

☆ ┈ He's probably the best cook for you. If you're hungry, you're more likely to go to him rather than another mercenary to ask for food.

☆ ┈ Heavy has taught you how to make sandwiches, but only under his guidance. You shouldn't leave a child alone with a knife.

☆ ┈ Heavy is s also a great pillow. If you're tired after a long day, you can sit next to him to rest, and if you accidentally fall asleep, he'll gently carry you somewhere where you can sleep peacefully.

☆ ┈ Big brother figure fr fr.

Ah, here it is, one of your favorite places on the base. Kitchen.

Well, if you could call it a kitchen. The entire base was a bunch of rooms connected by hallways and doorways, and so it was here.

The kitchen was at the end of a hallway, with a corner between the walls filled with all sorts of kitchen appliances, including a sink, a refrigerator, a stove, and a bunch of cabinets, half of which were always open.

While loud laughter and a lot of noise came from the next room, where everyone usually gathered to eat or just relax, you approached the refrigerator, hoping to find something there.

So, what do we have...Alcohol, more alcohol, Sniper's jars, lots of alcohol, ham for sandwiches, and some old bread that was put in the refrigerator to keep it from going bad. Maybe there was something else on the top shelves, but you couldn't reach it to see.

Yeah, the variety is really high. And there's not even a knife on the kitchen table to at least cut the food. Bummer. Who the hell puts the knife in the top drawer?!

You reach for the bread, because it's the only thing in the fridge that you can eat (tearing up a huge piece of ham with your bare hands isn't a great idea), but out of the corner of your eye, you notice a movement towards you that catches your attention.

As soon as you turn your head, a sandwich is handed to you. You stare at the food for a while until you realize that you are being offered food, and you taking the treat.

— "Thanks Heavy !!"

The big man just nods, holding a piece of sandwich for himself. Although it was noisy, it was hard to not notice you in the huge doorway.

— "You were with Scout." — he said firmly, with anyone else, you would have been taken aback, but you were already used to Heavy's lack of conversation, so you understood that he was asking why Scout wasn't with you.

— "Soldier came to us and they started fighting, so I left."

— "I see."

For a while, the two of you just stood there in silence, eating sandwiches, but then there was an explosion from the next room, which naturally made you both jump.

Heavy went first to check what was wrong, and you followed carefully, trying to make as few movements as possible, as if that would help you stay hidden.

— DEMOMAN:

☆ ┈ "We should be friends forever, aye?" ahh energy.

☆ ┈ Demo is not soo bad when it comes to looking after children. His mother taught him the boundaries of decency, you know.

☆ ┈ The only problem is...He's always drunk, which often leads to inappropriate behavior. And this creates a number of other issues.

☆ ┈ However, as surprising as it may seem to you, there's a low risk of harm with him. Yea, he's probably completely drunk, he cares about you, and the thought of you being hurt makes him sober up.

☆ ┈ It's not long-lasting, but it does have an effect. If someone needs him to come to his senses, they can simply mention that you're currently near The BLU Team, and Demo will immediately wake up.

☆ ┈ Demoman is in fourth place on our list, I believe. He's nice to you, but since he's constantly drunk, he may behave in an inappropriate manner.

☆ ┈ He probably thinks that your parents or caretaker abandoned you in the middle of nowhere, which is why you're here.

☆ ┈ After all, the closest city to the base is Tuefort, and there are plenty of brainless idiots there. It wouldn't surprise him if someone decided they didn't need you and brought you here to get rid of you.

☆ ┈ The first thing you hear from him is "eughh f☆ck yer parents" before he falls over, mumbling something while drunk.

☆ ┈ Great way to start, isn't it?

☆ ┈ At first, he's wary of you because he's sure his appearance will intimidate you. Tavish is an eternally drunk, one-eyed Scot, he probably looks like a monster to you.

☆ ┈ And he's honestly..surprised when you don't seem to mind. But he's even happy about it. Considering that you regularly visit the base, you'll see each other often, so it's better if you get along.

☆ ┈ By the way, he constantly forgets why are appearing at the base lol. When Demo tries to remember, he thinks the team just took you in and you're living with them now, and he looks for you every time you return to Miss Pauling.

☆ ┈ He even set up one of the storage rooms as a room for you. It's a mix of items stolen from different corners of the base, but he tried his best.

☆ ┈ Plus, it's still nice to have your own secret place (which everyone knows about, but you don't need to understand that)

☆ ┈ To be honest, Demoman is like an always-drunk uncle or distant relative to you. He can make you laugh, he can be annoying, or just say odd shit, but he's still something you're used to.

☆ ┈ I imagine that when he's particularly drunk, he might try to offer you a drink, only to get a wrench thrown at his head.

☆ ┈ He often tells you funny and sometimes not-so-funny stories that happened to the RED Team during battles.

☆ ┈ Tavish is always doing those annoying gestures, just to see your annoyed face, like carefully pulling your ears or nose, just to make you grumble at him.

☆ ┈ It's not all bad. He's the most clingy of mercenaries, so if you enjoy physical contact, go to a drunk Demoman and ask for a hug.

☆ ┈ He's pressing you against his chest, crying because he's been drinking too much again, and he's mumbling incoherently while you're stuck in his overly tight embrace.

☆ ┈ The smell of alcohol isn't exactly nice, but at least you feel loved.

☆ ┈ You probably caught Demoman in the middle of spending time with BLU Soldier. He's bribing you with candy to keep quiet about it, and you're keeping quiet because you think others know about it too.

☆ ┈ Sometimes you complain about his behavior when he's drunk, but when he's sober, bastard just pretends to be drunk again and falls asleep until you leave.

☆ ┈ I could say that he might accidentally bring you to the battlefield while drunk, but, eh, I highly doubt it.

☆ ┈ He might tell you about the dangers of the battlefield to discourage you from going there. Naturally, it doesn't work on you, but he doesn't know how else to make you avoid dangerous places.

☆ ┈ By the way, Demoman is actually good at spending time with you. He's always trying to cheer you up.

☆ ┈ Like, imagine if he put his hands in his vest and only showed his palms, and he said he was a turtle to make you laugh, or he'll go with you to blow up something nearby.

☆ ┈ This man can explain chemistry to you in a way that even the best chemistry teacher in the world couldn't.

☆ ┈ Considering everything the mercenaries teach you, you can proudly claim that you're a smart child, and you'll be right because you know things they don't.

☆ ┈ Demo will teach you how to make explosives out of whatever you have on hand! Just don't overdo it, or both of you will get into trouble.

☆ ┈ Well, you know, it could be worse. Uncle Demo actually sounds pretty good.

Unsurprisingly, Demo was the cause of the explosion.

He lay on the floor, as he fell from the chair, while a huge trail of ash was left beside him on the bright tile. His face was frozen in silence, before he laughed, and he was laughing, and grinning with laughter.

Medic, who had been sitting next to him, leaned forward slightly to check Demoman's condition, looking at him with a bored expression, as if he expected something else.

— "..I vas sure zat thing vill explode in your hands."

— "As if that could kill me!"

You heard a quiet sigh from Heavy, who looked quite disappointed in the situation, but you found something funny in it, making you giggle, attracting the attention of Demo and Medic.

— "Ohh, hi lit'le one- *hic* ..Jane was lookin' for ya."

Demo says, nope, rather mumbles, probably drunk again, barely getting up from the floor, staggering in all directions.

He was still talking to you- but you didn't understand a word. Your gaze shifted to Medic, who was looking at you with his chin propped on his elbow and his usual smile.

— MEDIC:

☆ ┈ Okay, I love this man, and you probably love this man too, but he's not someone you'd want to run into in real life.

☆ ┈ Although Medic is, let's say, very much in violation of medical ethics, he's not going to experiment on you..And yet, he's still pretty creepy.

☆ ┈ If you're not opposed to a crazy person who's proud of it, then you're in the right place. If not, I'd suggest keeping your distance from him.

☆ ┈ He's at the bottom of our list. He's not trusted to be alone with you, and you're rarely together. Some people just think it's a bad idea, and some even worry about you :p

☆ ┈ If you're alone with him, it's either by accident or because Heavy is nearby. It seems like the big man is the only one who trust Medic with you.

☆ ┈ Everyone else? Yeah, they definitely don't approve of him, and try to convince you to stay away from Medic, to his misunderstanding.

☆ ┈ Medic actually is disappointed. He hoped to get a little assistant, or at least someone who valued his genius :((

☆ ┈ Ludwig always speaks to you friendly, calling you in a playful manner as if you are his native child he has long not seen.

☆ ┈ He had been on the basis of the first day he had seen you. Isn't this place interesting if it's chaos to add the same chaotic child?

☆ ┈ Medic wants to make you a mini version of yourself, briefly speaking. With fun trying to persuade you to try to help him with the operation of someone or put experiments.

☆ ┈ Damn proud if you agree to help him and clumsily, but in general, do everything he asks. Don't you think you should try operating on someone more often?

☆ ┈ Well, not with experiments over The BLU Team. You don't know (or don't understand) what's going on outside the base on the battlefield, and explain it will be difficult enough.

☆ ┈ If you catch him experimenting on someone from The BLU Team , he just tells you that you have enough experience for this operation..You still can come in and watch, however. (not worth)

☆ ┈ Constantly calls you German nickname, like "Schatz" or "Mein liebes kind", Medic often switches to German when talking to you, making you feel confused.

☆ ┈ Once you accidentally hit, running on the base, playing with someone, fell and crashed knee, which caused you to lead to the medical. After the stories of others that he's a strange enough guy, you frankly were afraid to go to him..

☆ ┈ ..But it wasn't as bad as you thought. You were not put experiments, you were not cut off your head and not coped in your organs.

☆ ┈ He just treated your wound, and at the end gave you a candy he usually supplies for Pyro, praising you for courage.

☆ ┈ Since then, he's been giving you regular (often unnecessary) medical check-ups, saying that you need someone to take care of your health after all.

☆ ┈ Sometimes, it's just an excuse for him to spend some time with you, because you usually hang around more desirable company than him.

☆ ┈ You might think that you've been told a lot of nonsense about him, but one day, when you just wanted to chat with him, you saw his less-than-humane actions and decided that maybe the others were right about something..

☆ ┈ Sometimes, you come to him, sitting in the corner of the room and drawing something with a pen and a small piece of paper that he gave you to keep you occupied while Ludwig tells you some weird stories.

☆ ┈ His pigeons love you! You sometimes bring them treats, and eventually, a small group of these feathered creatures gathers around you. Archimedes prefers to stay close to Medic, but he sometimes sits next to you.

☆ ┈ Maybe one day, he'll invite you to watch the RED and BLU fight from a safe distance, so you can see how they deal with their enemies.

☆ ┈ Come on, there's no harm in getting hurt accidentally. He can always heal you later!

☆ ┈ To be honest, it's hard to say for sure about Medic. He's not that bad, after all, and he's nice to you, but his behavior can be scary, and the other mercenaries think he's setting a bad example for you, so you don't spend much time together.

☆ ┈ Sometimes, you hear Medic grumbling that the mercenaries, who were laughing as they ruthlessly killed an enemy team just this morning, think his company will be worse for you..What a double standards!

☆ ┈ Ah, it doesn't matter. You still sneak over to him to listen to his crazy stories about what's been happening on this base.

☆ ┈ If someone gets on your nerves, remember that he's always there for you! He can listen to you, or steal someone's organs... It depends on the situation.

— "Ach, it's been a vhile since ve last sav each other, kind! How you feeling?"

— "I'm fine!"

— "Hmm, an extra medical check-up might not hurt.."

— "What for? Kid seems to be fine." — Demo objects for some reason, leaning back against the table, looking at Medic as if he had just suggested burying you alive.

— "Vhy not? Or perhaps you do not trust my medical skills?"

— "If anyone asks, I'm walking around." — you're not interested in arguments and fights today, so you quickly passed them by, hurrying out the door and stealing another sandwich from the table along the way.

Even though you were already a good distance away, you could still hear them arguing. Poor Heavy, he'll have to listen to this..

— SNIPER:

☆ ┈ Why is it so hard for me to write something about him ughh

☆ ┈ Sniper usually always keeps his distance from the team, used to the hermit lifestyle, so he was the last to know that a kid had appeared on the base from somewhere.

☆ ┈ When you first met it was a bit awkward. You and Scout were hanging out together, and at some point he saw Sniper nearby and pulled you in to introduce you.

☆ ┈ The two of you looked at each other in silence, wondering what to say before you briefly exchanged names and you left, interested in something else.

☆ ┈ Sniper couldn't understand why you were still here at first, Scout's explanations didn't help much either, so he'll probably just ask you directly.

☆ ┈ In fact, for the most part you only started getting along because Scout was encouraging it so you could spend time together as a trio.

☆ ┈ Sniper was against it at first (because why would they bring a kid around?), but he soon got used to you. You're..nice, although he's surprised how calm you are about being surrounded by a bunch of mercenaries.

☆ ┈ He doesn't consider himself, and never has, a person who gets along with kids, but it seems to work for you.

☆ ┈ Mick is a quiet guy, so if the base is particularly noisy and you want some peace, you always go to his camper.

☆ ┈ Sniper silently lets you in, and you sit quietly with your thoughts while he goes about his business or hangs around nearby, watching what you're doing.

☆ ┈ He's a great listener. If you're worried about something but don't know if you should tell others about it, you can always tell him. He won't force you to do anything, but he'll give you advice on how to handle it.

☆ ┈ Sometimes, his inaction is even more effective than persuasion, to be honest.

☆ ┈ He constantly says that he doesn't care about you as long as you don't bother him, even though he was sitting with you just five minutes ago, doing all what you want.

☆ ┈ He sometimes takes you on walks or just spends time outdoors when they don't need to fight. Sniper doesn't know where you go or what you do when you're not at the base, but it's unlikely that you often venture outside.

☆ ┈ If you have any interest in camping, you'll probably become best friends with him, as he often takes you out to relax from the hustle and bustle of the base.

☆ ┈ I think Sniper is in third place in the rankings. It's going to take you two some time to get along, but it's worth it because he really cares about you, even if he has his own way of showing it.

☆ ┈ After you found out from Scout that he'd spent a lot of time in the bush, you regularly ask Sniper to tell you about it. And he doesn't mind, actually.

☆ ┈ Just don't ask for details. It's too early for you to know about such bloodshed.

☆ ┈ Although he likes you, Mick doesn't approve of you staying at the base, and he's suggested several times that he take you back to your real family, but it seems like you've grown too attached to this place to want to leave.

☆ ┈ He doesn't understand why anyone thought it was a good idea to leave you here in the first place. Okay, so Miss Pauling is your caretaker now (which he doesn't approve of too), but it's still a battlefield!

☆ ┈ The other mercenaries don't seem to think about it, or they don't want to think about it. Sniper can't say he blames them; among the grumpy adult men, having a cheerful child around sounds like a relief.

☆ ┈ Sniper will briefly tell you about his youth if you're interested in learning more about him. For the most part, it's pleasant memories of his family.

☆ ┈ He doesn't want you to emulate the mercenaries (well, specifically what they do on the battlefield), but unlike the others, he acknowledges the possibility that you might be in danger, so Sniper will teach you what to do if you're attacked.

☆ ┈ It's self-defense, but more violent. Sniper will even give you a small hunting knife after teaching you how to use it.

☆ ┈ He hasn't told you who you might need to defend yourself from, but he has warned you to avoid people in blue clothes. This isn't the first time you've heard about them, but you still haven't figured out who they are.

☆ ┈ Sniper might try to teach you how to shoot... But the last attempt didn't go well. You missed, and the bullet flew around, banging into iron poles.

☆ ┈ You've tried to convince him to try again, but he says it's not the right time :(

☆ ┈ Overall, Sniper is a good companion. Although he's not very talkative, his presence brings a sense of understanding to you.

☆ ┈ Would it be true to tell his parents that he has a child?..

Although it was usually noisy outside the base, when everyone were inside, the place seemed almost harmonious.

But still, standing around like a fool on the street isn't a great idea, so you're heading towards Snipes's camper, you want to sit in peace, and you can't think of a better place than this!

Soon, his camper comes into view, and you quicken your step. Snipes, who is standing outside (probably lost in thought again), turns his head towards you and lazily waves from a distance.

He gestures to his camper, asking you without words if you want to come in, to which you nod vigorously (as if this would make him see better), and he goes inside, probably to get something for you.

You might have gone to see him already, but your attention was drawn to a column of smoke coming from the direction of...some place. You had seen guys heading in that direction several times, but they had forbidden you to go there, and whenever you tried to join them, they always caught you and sent you back to the base!

..Well, you don't go straight there, you quickly go to see for five minutes, and immediately return.

However, you didn't leave for long, as you soon felt a hand pulling your clothes back.

— SPY:

☆ ┈ Oh, uh... This is a very difficult situation.

☆ ┈ Let's be honest, when it comes to Spy and the child, it's always a difficult situation. You know why. Scout.

☆ ┈ Spy is not a good father, definitely not. But he does care about Scout, it's evident in the comics, and he has a certain weakness for children (also from the comics).

☆ ┈ He didn't become a parent to Scout, and he has no intention of becoming a parental figure for you. However..your very image appeals to his conscience, which he was certain had long been dead.

☆ ┈ He respects Miss Pauling, and they have a decent relationship, but after he found out about her keeping you and allowing you to enter the base, his respect decreased.

☆ ┈ This place is not for a child. Being here puts your life at risk, after all, there's no stopping you from venturing outside the base and accidentally running into The BLU Team, and if they find out you're from the REDs, they might not appreciate it.

☆ ┈ Spy tries to avoid spending time with you, he doesn't want to be a sitter, and he doesn't understand why the other mercs don't mind it.

☆ ┈ I just like the idea of you trying to get along with him because you think he's cool, and he's trying to avoid you, hoping that your attention will shift to someone else..Does the Administrator even know you're here?

☆ ┈ Sometimes, when you're particularly persistent, he might stop to distract you for a few minutes and then leave.

☆ ┈ He's not soft with you, but he's not cruel either, I'd say it's a cold form of politeness. You don't really understand if he likes you or if you're just annoying him..He doesn't seem to be sure himself.

☆ ┈ Maybe he's in the sixth place of our ranking. It's not great, but it's not terrible.

☆ ┈ Spy occasionally keeps an eye on you when you're unsupervised, making sure you don't cause any problems that he and the team would have to fix later.

☆ ┈ You might occasionally notice that he's nearby, but it's very rare. Mostly, he's standing silently in the distance, observing you discreetly.

☆ ┈ Imagine that you're sensitive to smoke, so it's easier for you to find him when he's around.

☆ ┈ Scout once showed you the location of Spy's room, his smoking area, yk. Now, you sometimes go there to annoy him or if you want something from him.

☆ ┈ You've sneaked in a couple of times, but he never lets you inside himself because the place smells too much like cigarette smoke, and you start coughing violently.

☆ ┈ Seriously, stop. It's for your own good.

☆ ┈ He's obviously the last one who wants to keep you company in something. As I said, he tries to stay away and watch something.

☆ ┈ Let others enjoy your attention. He's quite enough of a distance. In this regard, he probably can even understand why other mercenaries are so adorable to you: children's years are the most memorable.

☆ ┈ Spy often swears in French when you're around, whatever you don't understand him. It was very awkward when you started to repeat the words, and he had to teach you others that you wouldn't swear, not knowing.

☆ ┈ You'll be surprised..But he's pampering you most. Sometimes when you're stuck with him, and if he's busy or got other plans, he just gives you a decent amount of money, saying something like "go take yourself what you want", leaving.

☆ ┈ And you? You don't mind..Making other mercenaries to wonder where you have all these things. Besides Sniper, because he the one takes you to Tuefort, that you'd buy what you want.

☆ ┈ Oh, it would be nice if you tried to buy the other mercenaries gifts and him too. He had long thought if it was worth throwing it out, but he had never found his strength and hid it where he would find it.

☆ ┈ You had a feeling when you know someone remotely and practically don't interact, but still think it's cool? Well, there's something wrong with him.

☆ ┈ ..Honestly, he's even a little flattered that you're interested in them. Yet, he's not a suitable company for you.

☆ ┈ But exactly better than Medic or Pyro, if these two try to take you away with him, and the spy will be near, he will take you, and then give someone more adequate.

— "..You shouldn't venture too far from the base." — you hear Spy's voice behind you, and you turn around to see him looking at you with a face that's not exactly angry, but rather disappointed.

— "I..wasn't planning to go far."

— "Indeed?" — he asks you slowly, letting go of you, holding the cigarette in his other hand, trying to tilt it away from you.

Although you are rarely scolded, you always feel awkward when it happens..Fortunately, you were saved by Snipes calling out to you, and you quickly walked over to him, muttering an apology to Spy.

The masked man shook his head, throwing his cigarette on the ground and extinguishing it with his foot before he disappeared into thin air. It's time for you to learn what you can and cannot do.

..:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟﾞ｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ🌤

🌤️ — I DID IT omgg...

🌤️ — sorry for the late update!! also, DAMNN, I hope this is good, I'm always afraid that I don't write the characters well in TF2 :')

Scout:

Ok, let's be honest, you aren't getting a lot in terms of anything genuinely helpful to your health.

He'll sit at the edge of your bed and keep you company, rattling off about his day or the current happening around the base.

He lived with seven older brothers, thus naturally developed a pretty good immune system. He'll snuggle with and kiss you all over. He'll get under the covers, too. He's taking a nap there. You don't get to kick him out. Here's there forever now.

Will get you a juice or something, but don't expect him to get you anything you'd need to cook.

Soldier:

Sick?? You shouldn't be sick!! It's those damn communists contaminating the water supply, he swears by it.

Nonetheless, he will be sure to stay by your side and give you an honorable burial if you were to perish. Not that you will! You're a strong american man (regardless of your nationality. or gender. just go with it, it'll make him happy.), and he knows you'll pull through.

Stands at the foot of your bed doing surveillance. You're at your most vulnerable, so he has to keep watch!!

He cannot cook. Good lord he cannot cook. He'll try though for you, but you better expect it to taste or look horrible.

Pyro:

Will prance to your room, move all of their stuff in there, and have sleepovers with you until you're better.

They'll color with you, bring you snacks and treats, and spend a lot of time with you in general.

They don't really get sick themself, partially due to wearing the mask all the time, so they don't know exactly how to take care of you on the practical side of things, but they'll grab you anything you want if you ask them!!

Demoman:

He knows a lot about being sick. Mainly due to hangovers, but he's pretty experienced in terms of getting sick, so he knows what to do in a lot of cases.

He's making you a hot toddy if your throat is sore. (He's making one for himself too.)

Will offer a bunch of weird remedies that he swears by, which only a handful usually work. His eagerness to help you out usually wins over you though, so you end up trying them.

Heavy:

I think he would be one of the best to care for you. He took care of his family when he lived with them (and still visits!), so he'd for sure know exactly what to do for you.

Makes a mean soup. It's his mother's recipe, so you better compliment it.

Can and will pick you up and carry you to other rooms if you want a change of scenery. He doesn't much care about getting sick himself, and he can usually power through it if it spreads to him, so don't worry about giving him your germs. Just don't kiss him or anything, he's not that interested in getting sick.

Will take you to Medic if he thinks it's getting bad.

Engineer:

Okay, this might be a controversial take, but I think he'd be absolute dogwater at taking care of you.

MAN CAN'T EVEN GET UP FOR A GLASS OF WATER FOR HIMSELF IF HE'S WORKING, AND YOU EXPECT HIM TO TAKE CARE OF A WHOLE 'NOTHER PERSON???

Okay, he'll try.

He'll talk to Medic to see what can be done for you, might move some of the stuff he's tinkering on so you can spend time with him if you want, He might make you a snack if he has the time, but probably not much more than that.

He genuinely cares about you, but he doesn't exactly have the resources or time to be with you the whole duration of your sickness.

Medic:

Sick? Under his watch? Impossible. The second you start showing symptoms of anything, no matter how small, he is testing you for everything under the sun.

Be prepared to spend ninety percent of your time in the medbay, because he's running tests on you like there's no tomorrow.

Will give you so many pills or random liquids to down, and not tell you what a single one does.

He's definitely giving you a remedy of his own invention that may or may not be banned in multiple US states.

Sniper:

Now this is a man who can take care of you when you're sick.

He has a lot of knowledge on how to help, because his mother would always talk about what she was doing or making to help him feel better whenever he was sick growing up.

He knows (and can probably cook) whatever meals will help get your energy back, he knows what medicine to get from Medic, and he'll do his best to make you all comfy cozy.

He'll probably call his parents if he doesn't know what to do in a specific case, as he doesn't really want you spending too much time in the medbay. It's just overly sterile and serious in there, and he knows that a comforting atmosphere can be better for trying to recover from being sick.

Spy:

He will reluctantly bring you a few things, but do not expect him to spend time with you.

He is wearing a facemask when entering your room, giving a brief greeting while bringing you food or something, and leaving. If you ask him to stay, he will not.

I feel like he would have mildly germaphobic tendencies, just based on how clean he tries to keep on a regular basis.

The only reason he even bothers to bring you anything is because he thinks you're the least annoying and wouldn't survive being around everyone else if you died.

A little melodramatic, but he's got the spirit.

Ms. Pauling:

Let's be honest, she wouldn't have the time to take care of you.

She'll make an effort to tell the others to make sure you're doing okay and are fed and given proper care, but she probably won't be able to do anything past that.

WE STILL LOVE HER THOUGH.

Pilot:

Pilot is a little bit of a mess, but will try his best.

He usually makes food for everyone when nobody wants prepackaged meals, so he's got quite a bit of soup-making experience.

Is the comforting king. Will let you lay your head in his lap and sleep while he reads or writes. Will gently play with your hair if you want him to.

He'll get you a ginger ale and swear that it helps. It tastes good, but it's unclear if it actually helps with nausea or a sore throat.

Let him kiss you. He will get so sick, but he wants to kiss you so bad. He doesn't care that he's getting your germs, he just wants to comfort you.

---

Pyro, the mumbling abomination that struck nothing but pure fear into you and your teammates. And the funny thing was he wasn’t even an enemy, he was in your team. Your TEAMMATE. Pyro was an interesting nutcase that had everyone on your team, including yourself, genuinely questioning the safety measures of this company and who they are hiring. Like seriously, do background checks even exist for this corporation or were they just picking off lunatics from the ward and throwing them into battle? Unlike the other members of the team that had information on them–Pyro had nothing, all that was known was a track record of mental illness and the fact they were a mercenary. There was nothing known about them, not their name, history, gender, nothing. All anyone knew was Pyro was a schizophrenic homicidal maniac who creeped everyone out, including Heavy! Who was known for his fearlessness and bravery, in his own words: ‘’I fear no man, but that… Thing, scares me.’’ You’ve all seen them on the battlefield, locking the other team into buildings with their fire axe and burning sed building to the ground with them inside. Mercilessly stalking and hunting BLU till every opponent you had was dead. You’ve heard the others whisper, wondering if Pyro would ever change their mind and go after this team. They seemed to have no limit or morals, and they were completely unable to speak. So that just increased the fear factor of you all.

But for some reason, they sparked an interest in you. You’d find yourself watching them from afar, Pyro isolated, doing their own thing. Refueling their flamethrower, polishing their axe, oiling up the trigger so it wouldn’t stall.. Staring at the wall silently like they were dissociating. You had your own personal questions about your nutty teammate. They never did seem all there, like they were in their own little lala land. You tried finding anything about them, hell you even asked Miss Pauling but she knew as much as you did: Nothing! 

You tried to do research, tried to find out where their latex suit was from, to the brand of their flamethrower–You tried everything. What fuel they used, but  your digging was met with dead ends at every turn.. You even tried to bribe Spy to go and stalk Pyro for a bit and go into their room–Try to see if they were hiding anything or had any bits and pieces about their identity. But Spy called you an idiot for even attempting to ask that question.

‘’Keep starin’ at that thing and it’ll light this whole goddamn place ablaze.’’ Heavy said, breaking you from your daze of creepily watching Pyro from a distance. Today thankfully was a relaxation day, no fighting, no war, no missions.. Just recharging, you, Heavy, Engineer, and Demoman were sitting at one of the tables in the kitchen. You had drifted from the conversation to gawk while the others talked about various topics that you had no interest in. ‘’Don’t be like that Mikhail.’’ You said as you lifted your water bottle towards your lips, shooting Heavy a sharp glare out of annoyance.. And embarrassment you had gotten caught. ‘’Hell, I don’t blame em’. Especially after what we caught that Mumblin’ Devil doin’ yesterday.’’ Tavish said with a small shiver running down his spine as his hands clutched his mug of coffee. Right.. Yesterday, you couldn’t blame your teammates fear from what they witnessed Pyro doing yesterday in the field.. Apparently Scout had found Pyro tearing the intestines from a screaming-barely alive-BLU Soldier.. Completely understandable and valid fear. 

You didn’t even have an excuse to defend Pyro, the thought of imagining Pyro taking a huge man–Breaking his legs, and cutting open his stomach while he is still ALIVE and tearing out his intestines. The sounds of organs squishing and blood squelching, and bones cracking made you shiver. ‘’How’s Scout doing..?’’ You asked with slight concern, apparently Scout had to go to Med-bay after witnessing the scene, and hasn’t been back since then. ‘’Still refuses to sleep in the barracks. Nurse told me he’s in pretty rough shape, been having nightmares.’’ Dell chimed in, he had visited Scout earlier to see how he was holding up. Afterall, Scout was more terrified of Pyro than all of you combined. Scout always had this fear that Pyro had it out for them, it was a reasonable fear. Hell, you even thought sometimes if Pyro was out for all of you. ‘’Is he going to attend tomorrow's mission? ‘’ You asked, your hand putting down the water bottle and grabbing the cap off of the wooden table. Twisting the circular piece of plastic back onto the nozzle as you looked at Dell who shrugged in response. ‘’I don’t blame him, I don’t think I’d be okay witnessing that face to face.’’ Mikhail shivered at the pure concept of that horrible vision. Your gaze slipped subconsciously, noticing Pyro wasn’t over by the little chair they like to sit in the main rec room. Pyro had their own little chair, it was away from the couch and the others and in a corner. Everyone here all agreed and registered that it was Pyro’s spot and off limits. They probably went to their room already.. Or the showers. It was getting pretty late, and tomorrow you had to go back on the field on another mission.

‘’Well M’ gonna call it a night, I’m pretty exhausted.’’ You said, pushing back your chair as you stood up. Grabbing your water bottle as you pushed in your chair. ‘’Tired from sittin’ on yer ass all day?’’ Playfully mocked Tavish who was giving you his sly ass grin, ‘’Tired of listening to you all talk about the same topic over and over again, then yeah.’’ You bit back, ‘’Goodnight.’’ You simply said to your team members who all bid you a goodnight in their own ways. 

You began walking towards the barracks, shoes clicking gently against the cold tile making your way down the hall about to turn left for the female barracks and bathroom to wash up before bed. Till your eyes landed on a door. Pyro’s door, Pyro got his own room since everyone else had safety concerns.. And honestly? It was for the best. You glanced around, looking for that hulking gas mask and guttural breathing to find yourself alone. And in front of Pyro’s door, you pressed your ear against the wood trying to hear any signs of life–a mumble, a breath, maybe even a small step. Yet you heard nothing. 

This is fucking stupid, I should not do this shit. Your prefrontal cortex said in your mind, but your hand didn’t stop wrapping itself around the knob and testing to see if it was unlocked.. And it wasn’t, Girl if you do not turn your ass around right now–You thought to yourself, trying to reason yourself out of a very BAD idea. Your brain was already imagining what would happen if you got caught, and every response landed in the most brutal way to die. Pyro was reserved for a reason, and you know this. Everyone does, but curiosity did in fact kill the cat because your hand fully turned the knob.

You did one last glance around ensuring your isolation before taking a peek inside of the room, it was dark–yet thanks to military training you could make out any shapes that seemed human enough. And you saw nothing, even doing a reassuring stance to listen for any noises. But the only thing you heard was silence, you slipped your body gently through the crack in the door you had made for yourself to sneak in. Moving like a python in a tight place you slithered your way through and closed the door subtly and gently behind you before feeling around for a light. Your digits moved carefully around surfaces, feeling the textures of wood before your palm landed on cold metal. Your hand snaked up around the base as the tips of your fingers felt around for a switch..

Click.

The lamp illuminated the light in the room, and honestly? You were disappointed in the lack of–Everything. This room was basic, it had a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, a desk, and the standard lamp. The only thing that caught your eye was a pink fluffy unicorn plushy sitting in front of two pillows, your head tilted slightly in interest as you stepped forward towards the bed. It was neatly made, all corners tucked into the frame.. Pyro definitely had military training, and apparently liked unicorns? You weren’t stupid, you knew damn well not to touch that god forsaken stuffed animal. Having a slight feeling touching it would set Pyro into a murderous rage, so your eyes set to something less obvious. The closet.

You stepped forward towards the wooden door, hand wrapping around the wooden handle to open the sliding door. The closet was like the room, clean. Hanging from the bars were two hangers, one empty, the other hanger holding a latex fire-proof suit, and around the neck of the hanger was another black gas mask. On the metal shelf were a few boxes. One was for shotgun ammunition, another was for flare, and the other boxes were longer. Probably holding a shotgun and the flare gun. Below your feet was a big storage case, and on top another case. But it was smaller. Inside the small box were a few bottles of lube and conditioner, probably to help lube up the latex suit to get in. And on the other side there was napalm wrapped in protective casing. Upon closing the small box and temporarily moving it, you kneeled down on the ground and opened it. The contents were simple, Pyro’s flamethrower and some flammable fuel.

You were disappointed in finding only things you already knew about, the only new thing was the unicorn. Which surprised you, Pyro was such a homicidal cruel abomination.. Why did they enjoy something as innocent and childish as a pink unicorn with light pink hair? And the hair wasn’t matted like how most synthetic wool hair would be on most stuffed animals. It was straight and detangled, which immediately gave off the tell-tale sign Pyro cherished the stuffed toy. 

With a sigh you stood up, there had to be more. You grabbed the medium black box and placed it back on its respective place on top of the other storage container and shut the closet. Making your way over to the dresser to see its contents. 

Oops.. You thought to yourself when you opened the first drawer only to find it full of boxer briefs neatly folded. That didn’t really tell you much since you yourself wore boxers, they were better for combat and comfort. Your hands reached for another and found it stacked full of ammunition for different types of weapons, and a tool kit for sharpening and polishing. Again, nothing special.. The next drawer had some plain black t-shirts neatly folded military style. The next few drawers were just pants and socks, and a boot polishing kit.. 

Either Pyro knew someone would snoop eventually, or they were really just this reserved. This was a waste of time, you weren’t learning anything. Just the fact that military standards seemed to be drilled into Pyro’s brain and they liked unicorns–

Your mind was immediately changed upon opening the nightstand drawer. Your eyes landed on a jar, a mason jar, a mason jar full of human teeth. The light that shined in from the room poured into the drawer and lit up the different shades of teeth ranging from deep yellows to almost white, they were human by the way the incisor and molars looked. And the jar was full, full to the top. Your stomach dropped instantly, you needed to get the fuck out of here now. You gently shut the drawer and went for the light, the hairs on the back of your neck were standing tall and your adrenaline was kicking in. It was one thing to brutally murder the enemy, it was another to collect human teeth in a jar in your bedroom knowing your history as a serial maniac. Your heart immediately fell to your ass when you saw that god forsaken door knob turn, your training kicked in and your body made like the speed of light. Turning off the lamp before getting on all fours and sliding underneath the bed. Engulfing the room back into darkness, your only saving grace was light did not escape through the gaps of the doors.

Crrreeeakkkkk..

The door widened all the way as the room was flooded with light once more, you held your breath as a hand wrapped around your jaw to silence yourself. Your legs curled in to make yourself look smaller as you crawled into a corner furthest away from the exit from underneath the bed, your widened eyes landed on Pyro’s fluffy pink bunny slippers. You heard the familiar sound of the door shutting and the lamp clicking on, your eyes followed their feet. Trying not to make it obvious or alert them from staring so hard, they made their way over to the closet and opened it. Hanging up their suit on the empty hanger you saw earlier before closing the door and making their way to the bed.

The frame creaked underneath their added weight, slipping their feet out of the slippers and into the bed. You could feel them shifting to get comfortable before the light turned off, now all you had to do was wait till they fell asleep.. Minutes passed as silence filled the air, you waited carefully. Waiting for one snore, one snore and you’d get out of this room and forget you were ever in here. And thankfully you were given that one deep snore, you made haste. Crawling out from underneath the bed, still staying low to hide your figure–

HHFGK!

You gasped out, your hands jumping to the burnt one wrapped around your throat tightly. Cutting off your airway as Pyro lifted you from the ground and onto the bed, Pyro saw you enter their room when they were walking out of the bathrooms. They were just waiting for you out, they knew exactly where you were hiding too. They weren’t even laying down either, they just sat there and pretended to lure you out. You squirmed and wiggled, expecting to be met with Pyro’s weapon of choice till they dropped you on the bed and loomed above, they let go of your throat and turned on the lamp like an angry parent who just caught a teenager sneaking out of bed. 

You coughed and heaved for oxygen, gagging on your own erratic breaths as you sat up for a better airway. Once you had regained your senses you looked up and saw Pyro. Not in their suit, but in lounge clothes. They were wearing one of the black shirts you had seen earlier and some comfortable baggy lounge pants. And of course, that black gas mask. Their thick arms were crossed and that’s when you noticed the lack of body hair, and soft skin. There was charred skin all over certain parts of their arms and hands. And around their entire neck and possibly more. ‘’I’m sorry–’’ You began immediately begging for forgiveness, ‘’I know this was severely inappropriate of me to invade your space. I have no excuse for my actions.’’ You really had no excuse, you being ‘’interested’’ in them wasn’t even an excuse either. 

Pyro’s head tilted softly, you could feel their eyes on you. Staring directly at your head, they didn’t say anything–Even then it’s not like you’d understand a word they said. The silence was awkward as you waited for anything, a hint of interaction. But all you got was a chest heaving and them staring you down like an executioner. The fear in your system had your other senses working overtime to try and soothe that fear, and unfortunately it made things worse because you realized how.. Close their thighs to you. There was barely any space between you two, they had big thighs too–And your eyes subconsciously were looking them up and down. From toe to head, their body was masculine. That’s when you noticed the slight bulge where the crotch of their pants was, ‘’Pyro..?’’ You asked looking up at them.

Pyro didn’t know what to do with you, they were upset you had invaded their personal privacy instead of being normal and asking questions to them and actually interacting with them. They were just staring, staring directly at you silently. You couldn’t even read anything about them through their body language. This was awkward, and uncomfortable. Your body had the primal urge to remove yourself from this situation immediately. ‘’Can I leave..?’’ The minute that string of words came out of your mouth Pyro closed the gap, pushing you flat on your back on the bed. Your legs instinctively hiked up in habit and shock as they stood between your thighs, still staring down at you. But their gaze seemed to shift, from your face, to your neck, to your chest. That full chest rising and falling from beneath a t-shirt, you were scared. They knew you were, they didn’t want you to be scared of them. They weren’t going to hurt you!

You were terrified beneath them, begging to every entity above and below to spare your life. Your body jolted when you felt those rough hands land on your waist, right where your shirt had ridden up slightly from impact. In Pyro’s mind, this was a way of telling you they weren’t going to hurt you. In your mind you thought they were testing to see if it was possible to break your hips from this angle. Still sensing you were scared, they took a step forward–Which did nothing but cage you in and brush their crotch against yours. A soft gasp came from your lips when you felt a bulge rub against the clothed part of your sex, your hands gripping the bedding a bit harder as the muscles in your thighs clenched. 

‘’Pyro–Wait..’’ You muttered out, shifting away from their crotch just in case.. But they pulled you back against it, hard. ‘’ah!’’ You mewled out on accident, Pyro only pulled you back because they thought you were trying to get away but their head jolted up to your face upon hearing that noise. Your face flushed with red, embarrassment burning your ears and head like you had been lit on fire. Before you could awkwardly apologize and try to move away again, their hips nudged gently against yours testing to see if they could make that sound come out again. ‘’uh–’’ Drawled out from you in a high pitched squeak, their head tilted as their grip on your waist slithered down to your hips. Squishing the soft fat underneath their burnt hands as they gently guided your hips to grind back against theirs. 

Your muscles relaxed as the hairs on your neck went down, your body focusing on the pleasurable stimulation instead of adrenaline and your fight or flight response. They could feel your body relaxing underneath theirs as they kept a steady and perfect pace. Their bulge was getting bigger, you could feel the mound of flesh beneath those pants getting thicker and swelling. Soft breathing came from their mask above you as they grinded you down on them, the stimulation felt so good–You just couldn’t help wrapping your legs around their waist to bring them closer. Your sex was aching and pulsing around nothing, and you could feel yourself already getting wet from the slick ruining your dry underwear. ‘’ooh, fuckk..’’ You groaned, eyes going from wide to half lidded as those pupils slowly trailed up their body like eye candy.

Pyro themself was getting more dazed, their breath was picking up, the way their digits wrapped around your hips a bit tighter.. And the way they were grinding harder, they were listening to every soft mewl that came from those beautiful lips. You sounded like a siren singing, luring in unsuspecting victims to your trap. A beautiful harmonic melody filling their ears, they were unknowingly going harder. Grinding you harder down on their crotch which made your eyes flutter shut from the powerful stimulation overtaking your senses, you haven’t had release in months. You were too exhausted, too stressed out, or too hurt to even pleasure yourself in your lonesome. So your body was acting more desperate for the stimulus, ‘’haa, haa, mmh–’’ You whimpered out when they gave you three hard thrusts, like they were trying to fuck you out of your shorts. You let out a small cry when they folded you up and laid down on top of you, thighs clenched hard as they practically pounded you through their clothes. Your arms wrapped around their shoulders, bringing them close as their body crushed you. Using their weight as an advantage just to slam their hips into you harder, you could hear their erratic breathing coming through the filter of the gas mask. 

Your eyes fluttered to their gas mask, seeing how the tinted lenses were all fogged up from how excited they were. Your hand gently abandoned the thick of their back and traveled along the black rubber slowly finding your hand wrapped firmly around the nozzle of the gas mask, palm almost covering the filter. This only seemed to excite Pyro more, the concept of having limited breathing made their brain even fuzzier as their pace picked up. Trying their hardest to mount you, you picked up on their pace and how quick and sloppy they had become. Your hand wrapped tightly around the filter, suppressing their breathing. A deep muffled groan came from them as they pumped their hips harder into your clothed sex, wiggling and gyrating their hips perfectly so their bulge rubs against your sensitive clit that was begging for attention.

Their breaths increasingly got heavier, sounding more like a gruff rasp than actual intakes for oxygen, their brain was getting all fuzzy and empty as their eyes fluttered from underneath that mask concealing their identity. Their messy humps got sloppier and slower, their body turning tense as less oxygen flowed through their veins. Your hand released on the nozzle, watching their chest heave for air as they shuttered violently. Almost coming from how good that felt to almost pass out. ‘’Pyro,’’ You panted out looking up into those tinted lens, ‘’Please–God, please fuck me.’’ You begged them, you almost winced at the hesitation they held. Were they nervous? Scared? Ashamed? 

They were scared, scared of what you’d say the minute those pants came down. Pyro’s body wasn’t your attractive stupid hunk that had beautiful skin. Their skin was charred and burnt from the torture they had undergone in the past, permanent blisters swirling on their rough skin. Forming syllables and stories of what horrors this mortal body has seen, what they’ve gone through. What horrific monsters had done to them. They weren’t attractive, they were ugly, disgusting, a cruel and good for nothing monster. They couldn’t bear the insults, the teasing, the dehumanizing names and degrading sentences. Each letter only being a bullet to cause harm on their already weak psyche. But then those beautiful hands, those soft and firm hands that brought comfort wrapped around their shoulders as you bounded that lovely body into them harder. Face full of desperation, admiration and straight need that had their gut twisting in desire. 

‘’Ah!’’ You gasped when they suddenly pulled back, looming above your shaky body as those charred hands yanked down the waistband of those baggy sweatpants. Their strong hips had old stitches, burn scars, and discoloration. Their happy trail was faint, yet there. The pubic follicles weak from once being lit ablaze, but that wasn’t what your eyes had zeroed in. It was their dick–8 inches of pure fat. Pyro’s body wasn’t muscular by any means, they were bulky yet had some chub to them. Their tip was a deep red, that red being broken up by the white pre dripping from their slit down their heavy shaft. They loomed above, nervous expecting an insult. But all they got was a pathetic whimper when you realized that was going to be stuffed into you for god who knows how long, your hips wiggled as you tried to yank down your shorts. Their hands came down and redirected your hands onto their cock, gently guiding those soft palms that made their lumbar arch. It’s been a really long time since their charred flesh felt a certain softness, your hands wasted zero time pumping. One hand wrapped firmly around the tip as the other dragged back and forth along the heated skin, ‘’MMMphmp!’’ They groaned, hands shaking as they abandoned your own and traveled down to the waist band of your shorts. Tugging them down with ease, their head tilted with slight curiosity at the dark stain on the front of your underwear. Dark from the slick you had been producing and your cunt crying for affection, they spread your thighs further. One palm on your warm flesh as a sign of affection as the other went down. ‘’oh!’’ You gasped when those thick fingers bundled up together to rub exactly where your messy slit was hiding. Thighs jiggling as a shiver went through them, feet bracing the bed as you swirled your hips with their fingers.

You pumped them harder, tongue reaching out to lick their messy tip. Their hips jolted forward, almost stuffing your mouth full as their hand on you rubbed harder. Trying to stuff you full through the fabric of your underwear, pressing hard against your opening that was trying to grasp anything. Your hand moved down to your underwear and hastily tugged the fabric clean from your pelvis, an animalistic grunt came from Pyro. His other hand snapping to your other thigh to make you spread far like an eagle, legs up in the air as they stared down directly at the pulsing flesh. 

Drool dripped down their concealed chin, they had half a mind to rip this gas mask off and devour you like a bobcat. The way you NEEDED them made their ego inflate, for once, they were needed for something as carnal and intimate as sex. ‘’Pyroooo, don’t teasseee!’’ You cried out, flashing them with your best puppy eyes. You couldn’t take anymore teasing, your stomach was full of erratic butterflies that were making your mind melt into goo. Without a second thought they grabbed their base, shifting their hips low towards you. Putting those plushy thighs of yours around their hips as they jerked themself right in front of your entrance. Tip bumping against your vulva, tracing messy shapes on it as they covered you in their messy heady pre. 

Huff, Huff, Huuuff.

They sounded like an exhausted bull above you, so worked up they couldn’t see straight. They didn’t see Pyroland or their boring black and white world, they saw reality. Real reality, and that reality was between your legs. ‘’O–Oh! Ah!’’ You gasped out, head rolling back hard as your hands gripped the messy bedding. Pathetically gasping, yet no noise came out as their tip pressed in. Stretching your tiny hole out, Your thighs tensed and quivered against their torso, chest heaving rapidly as they continued to push in. Every inch had you spiraling, noises without sound escaped those gaping lips as your eyes rolled back into your skull. Their rough flesh had your ankles twisting against their back as their hand softly rubbed your arched back. The one thing you were grateful for was they were being slow, aware of the size difference between you two. So they were going nice and slow to help you get used to them, their other hand was on your thigh. Groping the soft flesh as they watched you twitch and writhe, pushing all the way to the hilt before stopping. Letting that pretty cunt rest against their balls as they let you squeeze and stretch around their length. Pathetic cries escaped your throat as your hands blindly went to their stomach in a weak attempt to keep them there as your inner walls squeezed tightly around them, making them accidentally thrust forward on instinct. ‘’FUCK!’’ You yelped out when that stupidly fat tip slammed against a sweet spot that had you reeling, your hands gripped tighter on them as a raspy breath escaped you. ‘’p,pyro! Hold on–please–!’’ You cried out but they didn’t stop, ‘’uuuuggghhh..!’’ You moaned as they started on some deep shallow thrusts that had you near tears, they filled you up like cream filling! Their hips snapped hard against you, a loud plap coming from between you two as their hands slid up to your hips. Thumbs on your hip bones as they made you rock against them, lifting your bottom half up as they absolutely destroyed your poor pussy by doing barely ANYTHING. Those deep strokes had you howling out, slick dripping from your cunt onto the bedding and them–Coating them with your scent. 

Rough ‘’uh’s’’ escaped you with their deep rhythm, they weren’t going fast in the slightest. What was tearing up your insides was how deep they were hitting, and how much force each pump had. Their hazy eyes travelled along your body like you were a string to a harp, watching you jiggle and the recoil you had from them. Those beautiful tits begging to be free from your shirt and bra, a deep grunt came from them as their hand gripped the loose fabric hard. Shoving it up towards your neck revealing your bra that barely held your heavy shoulder boulders. Your stomach dipped with each thrust, forming a small bump on your lower abdomen from where they were inside you. You felt like you were on a rollercoaster and on the tip of the drop, you pulsed hard around them as your thighs squeezed their torso hard. Digging into their ribcage as their thrusts grew quicker. Your noises came out faster as they picked up the vigor. Hips slamming into your pelvis like they were trying to split you open. 

‘’Uuuuhh! O,Oh fuck!’’ You squeaked out in a high pitched cry, eyes hazily opening to stare at your desperate lover above you. Pounding deeply away, their thighs tense, knees digging into the mattress as the mattress itself squeaked like a mouse. One hand curled hard around your hip, thumb digging into the dip. The other holding up your shirt like a bully, their eyes trained on your bouncing tits like it was a TV show to laugh at. Your pussy squelched as it sucked them bone dry, heels digging into their back. Feeling the wet fabric of their once dry shirt, turning damp from the sweat pouring from their pores in an attempt to keep their body cool and to maintain homeostasis. Your arms wrapped around their shoulders, yanking them down as your lips found their rough neck. Soft plush of moisturized flesh against their leathery skin, they couldn’t feel your affection due to their nerves being numb in the areas of their fourth degree burns, but seeing you worship their ugly flesh brought great comfort to them. 

Their body began to crush you again, curling around your form as their arms wrapped around your head. Forming a pillow as one hand buried in your hair, digits rubbing your scalp in comfort as they pounded you so hard you were squirming away from their hips. The stimulation being too much, too rough, too deep.

Your lips followed their assault to their unmaimed skin, lips wrapping around their Adam's apple and sucking. A muffled yelp came from them in surprise as their hips slammed into you so hard you screeched and released their Adam's apple. The reason? Their tip just slammed against your cervical wall. ‘’Haaah! O,Oh my GOOODDD!’’ you moaned out, eyes slamming shut as your hips gyrated up into theirs. Trying to force them to breach that wall, and they got the hint immediately. This position wasn’t helping, so in a flash they lifted you up and themself. Seating your plush ass on their spread thighs as they forced you down harder, bouncing you like you were in a bounce house. Forcing you allll the way up into the air, your cunt only gripping their tip before slamming you back down. Making you take them whole, this new position and pace had your brain shutting down. Drool leaking from your lips in a pathetic response to this newfound violent stimulation that was rattling your bones. They were trying to pop your wall like a grape! ‘’P–Pryo, M’ gonna cum!’’ You sobbed out into their shoulder weakly, your voice high pitched and shaky as you shook around them. Your walls gripping them hard, suctioning wet flesh onto their shaft, damn near making them claustrophobic as you came hard. Slick pushing from your cunt onto their dick & balls. You fluttered violently around them as incoherent noises escaped you, their hands on your lower back and ass as they took this opportunity of numbness and overstimulation to absolutely ravage your guts.

In real time you could feel them rearranging your guts into little hearts and geometric patterns like you were a canvas, all you could do was cry out weakly and reel in the violent shocks you were feeling. Their pace got sloppy, rushed, erratic as they hunted down their orgasm. As much as they wanted to paint your insides like the great Mona Lisa, they couldn’t risk you getting pregnant. That would make Ms. Pauling suspend you! Rough growls dripped from the filter as their grip on you became borderline painful, making you squirm in a poor attempt to get away from the pain. And with one last slam they yanked out of you, causing your slick to spray down on them like a shower head as their own thick ropes of cum splattered all over your stomach and chest. Painting your skin a creamy white, their hand jumped down to their cock and pumped hard. Forcing more to splatter onto you, thick, gooey, warm potent cum painting your stomach like an ancient mural as their chest heaved.

They collapsed backwards, bringing you down with them as they manhandled you into laying with them. Riding the waves of pleasure and the after shocks as they heaved for oxygen they had suppressed themself from getting, they didn’t even notice they had been subconsciously holding their breath this entire time! You laid limp in their grasp, cuddling into them. Stealing their warmth as your brain came back down to earth. Their hand comfortingly rubbing your back as they looked down at you, their stare was one of affection and desire and yours was one of exhaustion and admiration. This was the best sex you had in a long while, you felt like a new person. Scrubbed from the inside and out, reborn into something new. 

Medic

You doing your over-the-top romantic stuff will 100% go to his head. He feels like hot shit whenever you do anything for him

He likes a little PDA, + hugs n kisses while he's working

He literally feels his heart swell with love for you <3 he thinks you're the sweetest little angel

And the creepy stuff? You are his dream partner on god. He blushes and giggles any time you say some freaky shit

"My love?"

"Hmm? Yes, taube?"

"I wish I could crawl inside your ribcage and kiss your heart."

"Ahahaha! Oh, stop it you~ I'm trying to work!"

Will be smiling for the next half hour while he thinks about what you said

He eats it up, and will return the sentiment with real blood and guts!

(If you want to eat a little piece of him, he's sure he can find something he doesn't really need... just kidding! ...unless? 😏)

Spy

Surprised he's met someone who can match his chivalry; you're even more sappy and romantic than him

You would try to outdo eachother with stupid things, grand gifts, planned dates, and proclamations of love. He sees it as a game

"My love, you look divine tonight."

"Divine? You are absolutely radiant. I should be the one worshipping you, mon coeur."

"That can be arranged... perhaps tonight?"

Scout would gag at the sight of you two. You're sickening

For your creepiness, he finds you a little disturbing but as he gets to know you, like... he gets it. It's poetic. He knows what you're trying to say/the feelings behind them

He gets used to it and tolerates your affections, even if he finds them strange

"Your blood is the most beautiful vibrant red, my love."

"Hmm. Thank you. I'd prefer it if it stayed inside of me, though, mon coeur."

Scout

He is scared and horny

Romantic part: he's the most openly shocked at any romantic gestures you show him.

He totally likes being pampered by you. Give him all your attention forever and ever and ever

Like, you show up one day with a ridiculously huge bouquet of roses for him, and he goes through so many emotions so quickly. Surprised, amused, embarrassed because he assumes you're playing a joke on him, even more embarrassed when he realizes you're 100% genuine, and shy acceptance

"Babe, listen, that's... really frickin' sweet n' stuff, but I dunno where ta put these roses. I'm not really a flowers guy."

"Oh. I'll take them back if-"

"No, they're mine, back off! I'll find a spot."

I think at first he would be creeped out when you say loving yet concerning things, but his infatuation with you overrides his self-preservation.

You'll be cuddling and you'll be like "I wish I could be inside your skin." and he'll give you this look of horror and be like "What???" but will continue to cuddle you

He teases you and calls you a freak/vampire/cannibal

He'll get used to it. Everyone else will wonder how he bagged such a baddie <3 he's literally stupid

A part of him also kind of likes that you're "scary" because he feels like you'd be able to protect him. He would never ever admit that in a MILLION years but its true

Demoman

Oh he so loves romantic shit. No one's ever done anything so nice for him, he feels so special around you!!!

He wouldn't be embarrassed by any PDA, he might even enjoy showing off that he has someone that loves him so much!! <3

Drunk or sober, he loves being by your side and having an arm around you, which you seem to like too

He's glad you're so expressive, because it makes him feel like his "clinginess" is normal, it's just how you are with each other

When you kiss his hand and trail more kisses up his arm, he'll be giggling and pulling you in by your face for a BIG kiss

I think he would be confused the first time you do or say something more macabre, but not afraid

Like.... what'd you say? Oh, it's a compliment? Aw thank you luv P] (thats his eyepatch)

After that, he'd usually reply with his own compliment or add on a joke to yours, like

"You're so adorable, darling. I just want to eat you up."

"Yeah? Bet I'd be good with whipped cream on top, aye? And a cherry, too! Ya look cute yourself, luv."

Heavy

He'll smile real big and laugh when you do romantic things for him. He loves it!

He finds it a bit funny just because, well, he's not the sort of guy anyone does anything romantic for. He also finds it incredibly sweet

It reminds him of being a character in a book he's read, actually being pined after and "wooed"

He always likes cuddling in bed with you at the end of the day, and it's then he'll say thank you (again) for all the cute things you did for him that day

Brushes off the weird things you say, affectionately! he takes it as just another way of saying i love you

His usual reply to your creepy-compliments is to pat your head and be like that's nice honey :] Heavy is going to go make a sandvich. You want?

Pyro

Blushing and giggling at romantic gestures. They love everything cutesy and cheesy and stupid, it shows how much you care!!!

They would be 10000% happy with PDA, excessive smooching on the battlefield

I think they would kind of flip-flip on their reactions to creepy ways to expressing love

Usually they'd 100% get it, giggling, squealing, flapping their hands excitedly

Other times, they'd understand the compliment, but they'd freak themselves out a little bit and ask for reassurance that you're not actually thinking about eating them or something

But that's easily resolved :]

Engineer

Another sucker for classic romantic stuff

He'll insist you shouldn't do anything fancy for him, he's a simple man (but if you do fancy things anyway he'll totally like them. It shows how much you care about him/you think he deserves nice things hehehe)

But he does love compliments and acts of service. That is totally his comfort zone, you two will constantly be exchanging those

He's not exactly wholesome but he does have a picture of the ideal domestic life, very sweet

First he's surprised at how many romantic gestures you do for him, and then he's surprised you're a freak. Not bad surprised! But... it takes getting used to for sure

"You have such beautiful teeth, my love."

"Uh.... thank you. Yer... teeth are nice too," he says while awkwardly rubbing his neck.

He does feel flattered in a weird way?? He is confused

Soldier

He's a little lost in the world of 'romantic' things. He considers very blunt things to be romantic, so when you treat him like... fancy... he takes some time to buffer and figure out how to react

Like he's happy asgkdfl of course he likes it he's just so not used to it, it takes him a second

He thinks of himself as being rugged and manly, he doesn't need nice things or any special treatment, he'll insist, but if you insist, he'll begrudgingly let you do nice things for him

He enjoys it more than he thought he would, like nice dinners, and compliments, and roses, and seeing you so gorgeously dressed up.... nice

He finds your disturbing nature SO attractive. He values strength and loyalty in his partner, and ripping out his heart and eating it is SO strong and loyal!!! What better way to prove your devotion to someone??

lowkey blindly agrees with everything you say

"You have such a beautiful heart, my love. I wish I could just squeeze it in my hand."

"I'm sure Medic could cut it out for you! Wait, that's crazy-talk. I'll cut it out myself, like a real American does!"

You tell him to keep his heart inside and he's like "you sure? I'll do it. i'm not a coward"

Sniper

He likes "creepy" things, like skulls, dead bugs, dead things in general. He can appreciate the beauty in them

He would LOVE your affection, creepy and romantic. He'd be standing there and trying to hide the big smile on his face bc he doesn't know how to handle it

He matches your freak but he's shy teehee.

The creepy-romantic stuff is actually easier for him to respond to than the outright romantic stuff, because he finds it a bit funny

"Darling."

"Yeah, mate?"

"I want to crawl inside your ribcage and wrap myself around your heart."

"Hah, that's sweet, darlin'. I'll crawl in your ribcage too."

VS:

"Darling."

"Yeah, mate?"

"Your eyes are the most beautiful color I've ever seen. Between blue and gray, like the stormy sky above the ocean. I could get lost in them for hours."

"..." He pulls his hat down and tries to hide his smile, looking away from you.

He's so easily flustered by regular romantic things its stupid ahafdsjk

I don't think he blushes an insane amount, but he does a little, and he goes all quiet and like kicks the dirt with his boot aakjfl

He'll say "thank you", "you really didn't have to...", or "I don't deserve you" (shut up yes you do man)

Engie:

It really depends on his mood at the moment, especially if he's currently working on something, but most of the time he'll be by your side to help you out.

He seems like the kind of guy to just make you a cup of coffee or tea, whichever you like best, and sit down at the table and let you rant about it while drinking his coffee. Very totally not because he does a similar thing with the administrator in the comics shut up

He also really likes cuddling, turning his workshop air down super low so the two of you can snuggle underneath a cozy blanket and not be too warm. That's usually the option he goes for if you don't want to talk about it, or if it's more of a matter of you being sad than angry or annoyed. He may also play his guitar if you'd like instead of cuddling.

In the event he's got his nose buried in some blue prints he probably won't even notice you're upset in the first place, too busy calculating things, making sure everything is tightened correctly, etc. You'll have to be more straightforward about being upset so if you're the kind to hide being upset then he definitely won't see it at all.

If he's not in a good mood, upset as well or something similar, he'll probably have you sit next to him while he works on something and hope that it helps calm you down too.

Pyro:

I'm gonna be a little non canon compliant for a moment bear with me I don't think Pyro is actually in Pyro vision 24/7 and/or does in fact know that Pyroland (and subsequently all their perceived good actions within Pyroland) isn't real. Citing the fact that they got offended by smokey bear in Pyro vision in the comics ☝️ nor do I think the Meet the Pyro short is an accurate representation of Pyroland, more like a dramatized version of how they described it to the director guy. because I say so :3

All in all pyro is pretty good at telling when you're upset, whether sad or angry, but what they do with that can be interesting

First they try sitting you down in a chair and handing you a lighter. They know that watching fire makes them particularly happy whether they have Pyro vision on or not, and somewhat guess that it might help the situation.

When they hand you the lighter they mumble something along the lines of "Talk it out", letting you flick the lighter on and off while you ramble. Now if this is effective really depends on you, I think it'd help someone out there. probably me.

If that doesn't help you they move on quickly to their next idea.

Next on the table is tucking you and themself into bed and holding you very close, almost like they would with a teddy bear or something similar. Their grip is nearly crushing honestly. But the mask and the suit stay on

If both of those fail they let you cry it out on their shoulder, or rant about it if you're feeling angry.

They're trying their best I swear they're just not extremely good at all this, their experience with comforting someone is pretty limited since most people see them as an unfeeling monster and wouldn't go to them for comfort of any sort. Let them know what makes you feel better after one of these situations if you can, it'll probably give them a better idea of what to do past frantically trying these three things and these three things alone. It makes them feel bad that they don't know what to do :[

Demo:

A lot people say things like oh he would probably take you out drinking or something but I don't genuinely think he'd do that, unless you want to.

I think he's more of a words of affirmation kind of guy, he'd tell you you're amazing if you're sad, tell you that it's gonna be okay, etc.

he'd probably do all this while teaching you how to make some basic explosives, maybe just to temporarily get back at whoever or maybe whatever made you upset if it was a physical thing or person. If you're the revenge type that is. He might just do the revenge part for you if you're not though.

He would probably do some things for you, make you a mug of tea if you like tea, make you a sandvich, something like that. Something simple but nice, make sure you're not dehydrated if you're crying.

Medic:

I honestly don't see him being very good at comforting much. He'd probably comfort you in a practical sense like for an example if you come to him with a problem like someone keeps picking on you he'll just try to resolve the issue, giving you advice on how to stand up for yourself, or more likely handing you his bone saw and telling you he needs more replacement body parts.

This is unless you ask for a specific thing, which he's much better at. You gotta be direct with him about what you want for comfort. Especially if you don't want him to respond with something like "Well why don't you just kill them? they seem very mean" or "I could get your some anti-depressants, do you think that'd help?"

He's not very good at cuddling if that's what you want but he'll try his absolute best, most likely you'll end up sitting on his lap (unless you're like. as tall and bulky as Heavy. He'd probably still try though let's be honest.) while he does some paper work. Or you'll end up lying on top of him with your face in his tits while he gently rubs your back.

Sniper:

This man is awkward and autistic as fuck. He probably also has low or fluctuating empathy (very totally not because I like projecting). You'll probably get some hugs if you like those and back rubs.

He is in fact the best at listening though, so if you like to rant! he's your best bet! he'll hang onto your every word. Unless he's working in which case you are effectively talking to a brick wall.

He can give some wise words when he wants but most of the time you'll get some hums in response or "That's rough, mate." It's not like he's completely silent, he just doesn't usually have much to say in the way of advice.

You will have to seek him out for comfort though. He of course likes to hang around but it's not like he watches your every move, and even at that he's not very good at reading emotions on people's faces.

Spy:

The biggest sap around. I think what he does depends on how long you have been in a relationship with him tbh.

I think in the beginning stages of your relationship, and/or relatively soon after you officially got together he'd still be trying to impress you to an extent. He'd probably plan out a whole huge nice dinner with you with candles and flowers and wine and stuff.

But later on in the relationship he won't be as over the top with all that, he'll still do something nice for you if you'd like but he's much more tame. I think he'd do some chores for you, like if you were the one supposed to do dishes for the base that day he'd wash all of them before you can even get to it. Practical things like that.

Of course he isn't opposed to sitting down in his smoking room and sharing a bottle of wine while you talk about it, him pitching in a few words of advice or reassurance.

Scout:

I feel like. he has a weird way of showing how he cares. due to the whole lots of brothers thing. Not in a bad way of course! it's just different from the others.

If it's something like someone else upset you he'll probably make a few jokes about killing them — though if they're really jokes is debatable considering your line of work — and maybe chew them out for you. Otherwise he's not very good in the comforting department.

I think if you're really upset, like genuinely depressed over something, he's likely to get a few snacks and some blankets and sit you down for a movie night or something– your pick of course.

Like, basically, take Spy. He's the opposite of that. While still trying to impress you. He does the opposite of what Spy does. While Spy goes all out and does like a fancy dinner at the beginning of your relationship, Scout goes for. not doing something big.