you ever see a pro boxer corner another boxer, and throw tight rotating punches against his head like he's a speedbag?

bupida bupida!

all at once his head is frozen, and rapidly vibrating, numb and violently tortured. I want to do that with every superstring particle, but with my teeth.

Well, no... i just said superstring particle because that's currently the most-accepted elementary particle.

Im so fucking exhausted.

Psychosis is no fucking joke.

I often get paranoid and think my food has been poisoned in one way or another when I'm in psychosis so I've lost a bit of weight but gained some new traumas.

I stopped eating and the hospital did my bloodwork every day. It's scary because my physical state got so bad they thought I would pass away from it. I didn't realise how bad it was. Schizophrenia ends life, but I'm going to fight with all I got to not let it win.

I got a feeding tube again and it was terrible. I didn't eat for quite a while because of my psychosis.

I'm out of it now but it still have quite a few symptoms. I quit my medications because I thought they were poisoned. And me quitting my meds didn't exactly help with the psychosis.

I also turned 23 when I was sectioned. I think this is my 6th birthday spent in the hospital.

It was good in general, but there also were some issues like it’s mostly at such appointments.

The basic thing was good. I told the psychiatrist I feel better know without that specific antidepressant and I don’t want to try a new one because in general I feel good. He said that’s okay.

I will have an appointment for a reevaluation of one kind of disability payment in April. So we need a medical report. My mom told me a bit time ago that my diagnosis, the medications I take , the fact that I’m in need of care , the fact that I often have meltdowns and the fact that they can be aggressive should be in this report. I told this to the doctor. He said my only diagnosis would be atypical autism. I said it to him that I also have adhd and ptsd which can’t go away, and I also have ocd and anxiety disorder. I have them less severe than a few years ago, but I still have them. He told me he will search the documents in my medical file, but I was a very stressful situation. In such situations I'm scared that people do wrongs things which will have bad effects of things in my life. He told me I should feel my mom she should call him today because he wants to talk with him about switching me to an adult psychiatrist.

I told it my mom and also the issues about my diagnosis. Later she said she will not call him today. She will search the diagnosis documents of my conditions and will send him these. Shr will call him tomorrow.

Something in that appointment made me scared of becoming an adult but I found a solution due to talking to the boss of the care home.

After I was at the appointment with a caretaker. I asked her if we can go to Mc Donald’s. So I was at Mc Donald’s with her. I ate a happy meal and this dinosaur was in the happy meal.