#psalm 23

“Itado-” Nobara sighed, as she called out to him, but he was already long gone.

Turning to Megumi she grumbled

“You think he went there” she asked

He nodded, his eyes giving away his concern 

“It’s not good  for him” he murmured

Nobara snorted

“Obviously not”

Then she added softly 

“She's been gone for a whole damn year, and he’s the only one who hasn’t moved on with his life. Visiting her grave now and then, fine. Looking through his photos of her, sure. But saying that she didn’t die at all? Being convinced of that when he was right there when it happened? Fushiguro, we need to tell him, to tell someone. To do something.” She couldn’t help the desperation that crept into her tone, to which she quickly tried to cover up by clearing her throat

“We already told Gojo and Principal Yaga, and we’ve already tried talking to him, everyone’s tried - Gojo, me, you, even the second years." pausing, he took in a shaky breath, before continuing

"And besides, it’s not like we can actually stop him. He’s technically not breaking any rules” Megumi grunted, roughly raking his fingers through his dark locks 

Nobara frowned, clenching and unclenching her fist she replied through gritted teeth

“That’s a load of crap, and you know it Fushiguro” 

He remained silent, staring off into the distance, well Nobara continued

“And don't you think I already know that? I know we tried. Trust me, I know. I just - I-” she let out a unsteady breath, hesitating, hands waving desperately as if she was trying to grasp something, some idea or feeling that could help her make her point across

“I know - I get what you’re trying to say”  he whispered hoarsely, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder he continued

“For now we should head back. We’ll inform Gojo of Itadori’s whereabouts on the way” 

Nobara stiffened, then slowly, hesitantly, nodded, and in a soft, shaky voice replied

"Yeah- Yeah, ok"

Yuji was a whole minute late, and by the time he leaped onto the roof he was afraid you’d no longer be there

That you would never be there

That you were never there

But the moment he caught a familiar flash of short brown hair with pink highlights, it was as if a wave of relief hit him all at once.

“y/n!” he called with a wave

You turned to him, legs dangling off the edge of the building, as you grinned 

“Hey there Yuji-kun!” 

He relaxed at the sound of your voice, as if every muscle had automatically locked up at the thought of you not being there

How silly of him, of course you’d be here, you were always here, ever since-

“Yuji! Yuji~!”  you exclaimed with a pout, waving your arms as you desperately tried to get his attention 

He immediately snapped out of his thoughts, giving you a sheepish smile as he sat down beside you

“Sorry love, I was just thinking" he mumbled as he kissed your forehead, the feeling of your warm skin against his lips was followed by a sharp pain in his chest

What’s wrong with me? He questioned

“Yuji?” you asked, head cocked to the side

“Yeah, sorry! Got distracted again!” you narrowed your eyes playfully, and with half-teasing, half-concern you ask

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” as you poke him lightly on his chest 

In turn he gave your forehead a gentle poke, and with a playful grin he replied

“Just came back from a mission, guess i’m just tired” 

You raised your brow, nose scrunched giving away your disbelief

Inwardly he chuckled,

She sure hasn’t changed. Still the same adorable look when she doesn’t believe me

“You, Yuji Itadori, tired? I’m not even sure you know what that word means.” 

He snorted,

“You know I'm only human, right?” 

“Yeah, but you’re you." you said teasingly, poking his shoulder

"When we used to go on missions together you’d never even run out of breath! Oh! That reminds me! Remember that time Gojo-sensei sent us after the second-grade curse, and we were stuck chasing it for two whole days! Two days! You spent the entire time running after it, didn’t even take a break and-” you paused mid-rant, noticing the sudden tenseness in his expression 

“What?” you asked softly, stray strands of hair falling out of place as you titled your head to the side 

Gently brushing the stray strands back in place, he murmured gently, hesitantly

“Why…Why don’t you come back” he spoke as if if his voice got any louder it would shatter something precious, fragile

You frowned, and with a small sigh, and a sad smile you replied

“Yuji, we talked about this. I gave up that life, I'm not a jujutsu sorcerer anymore. Isn’t that what you wanted, for me to choose a safer profession? To be safe?”

He nodded frantically,

“And I meant that! I'm glad you won’t be sent on dangerous missions! I just…I want you to come back, to see the others. Kugisaki and Fushiguro really miss you, and so does Gojo-sensei! They’re convinced-” he swallowed,  as if the words were stuck in his throat and refused to come out.

Finally, ignoring the tightness in your smile, he managed to continue

“They’re convinced you’re dead…” he clutched your shoulders desperately, as if you could prove them wrong, prove the whole world wrong 

“And, I know, I know it’s ridiculous. You’re right here, right in front of me. And yet, ever since you left things haven’t been the same, without you the world…it’s so much colder - emptier. I- I don’t think I can handle it any longer, a world where you're not by my side. It’s breaking me - and I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty or anything! You don’t have to come back as a jujutsu sorcerer, or even as a student! Just-Just come back as y/n, the love of my life, the girl of my dreams.”

Then with fevered excitement he continued

 “We can prove the others wrong, you can prove them wrong! If you come back things can be the same as before! We can go to your favourite bakery again! You and Kugisaki can go shopping together, I'll pay for whatever, however much it costs! You and Fushiguro can go back to your little library study meetups - things can go back to normal!” 

For a moment you remained silent, merely wiping the tears off his cheek

Tears? When did I start crying? Why am I crying?

“Yuji” you murmured softly, he froze, heart pounding with a rush of fear 

Why am I scared? What’s there to be scared about?

“We both know why I can’t go back” your eyes crinkled at the edges, and you were wearing that look, the one that would force him back to reality, force him to face the truth 

But this time, just this once, he didn’t want to know, he didn’t want to hear it

Please, no. Let me have this, just this, just her. I don’t ask for much, for anything - I never do, I never have. 

“Yuji…” 

He desperately covered his ears

“Don’t say it, I don't want to hear it! Please, please!” he begged, pleaded, to you, to God, to anyone who was listening

“Yuji, i’m dea-” “Stop!” he lashed out, his hand striking against your cheek before he could stop himself…no, no, it went right through you.

His eyes widened, his breaths coming out as nothing more than ragged gasps 

“Wha- What’s happening?” 

The world was shaking, crumbling all around, or was that him, was he shaking?

“N-No, No, NO!” he scrambled back, a small whimper escaping his lips 

You merely stood up and stepped closer, crouching in front of him, tears streaming down your cheeks as you continued despite the state he was in

“I’m dead, Yuji. I died last year, I died protecting you, and I don't regret it one bit. I love you, and my love hasn’t faded, even if I've been buried” 

He was begging you now,

“Please stop! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” 

You ignored his pleas once again

because some deep part of him wanted to be done with this twisted mind game

“Gojo-sensei sent us out on a mission, it was supposed to be a second-grade curse - it was a special grade instead. We weren’t expecting it, we let our guard down, and when it struck out to attack you I stepped in - my body moved on it’s own” 

He clutched his head, it was all too much, coming at him way too fast

“Please move on with your life, Yuji. You have lots of years left in you, a whole future worth of possibilities waiting for you, don't stay in the past, not for me, not anymore.”

Move on, how can I move on? You were my everything, the reason I lasted so long in this broken world!

He tried speaking, he really did, but what came out was nothing but a desperate garble of half-spoken words and a sudden dryness in his throat.

He let out a pained groan, as he clutched his head, nails digging desperately into his scalp as he tried to stop the sudden sharp aching in his head, trying to understand

He'd always understood

Shifting closer, so that he had no choice but the see the faded edges of your figure, you pressed your palm against his cheek

He felt nothing

“Wha- but I kissed you! Your skin was warm!” he exclaimed desperately 

You smiled - except this time it was different, broken, fragile

“No, it wasn’t.” 

“But-”

You don’t let him finish, pressing a kiss to his forehead, a kiss he couldn’t feel, you stood up, stepped back and said

“Goodbye, Yuji Itadori”

“Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me!” he tried grabbing your wrist, but it was hopeless, his hands merely passed through you

Please God, just this once. Just this one thing, the one thing this cog wants, let me have just her!

You gave one last smile, one last loving gaze, before you faded into nothing, as if you were never there

Because you were never there to begin with

Dividers made by @aquazero

a/n: this Is part one, I plan on writing a second part, with much much comfort for my precious yuji! no idea when tho. I love yuji sm (can't you tell?) and my plan for this was originally fluff, I dunno how or why it ended up turning like this, I'm just putting him through more pain 😭. dw, I'll make it up to him, the next few yuji fics will be 100% fluff, promise 🤞🏽.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me your rod and staff, the comfort me" - Psalm 23:4

that verse came up in my mind well writing this, because in this world people face death every day, and that was never God's intention, hence why he sent Jesus to save us and grant us eternal life. So whatever struggles and pain you're facing today I hope you know God is at your side, even when you can't feel it! and since there's always hope in our lives, and the same can be said for Yuji's! :D because whenever we face pain there's always comfort waiting for us - light at the end of the tunnel kinda thing, y'know?

well-

comfort for yuji, reader's still dead tho :p

readers appearance here was merely a figment of yuji's imagination. created by his mind to try and keep him from breaking, but in the end it only cause him more pain, hence your disappearance at the end.

but!

we will be seeing some flashbacks of you and yuji in the next part - exploring more of what your relationship was like, as well as more of nobara, megumi and gojo!

there's always hope and comfort waiting for you to take hold of it, as yuji will learn In the next part!

feel free to comment what you thought of this! :3

here's some happy yuji for you!