kitty has been trying so hard for so long to convince herself she’s straight. all her most meaningful and fulfilling relationships have been with women and she has always self-sabotaged them once she started to realize that they were more than just friendships, or had the potential to be. she and xi’an were best friends and basically co-parents for years but then xi’an actually confirmed that the feelings between them were real on her side and kitty panicked bc that meant they could be real on both sides and she ghosted her (literally). she’s so in love with illyana and missed her so much and decided that the best way to deal with that is to just not talk to her and yana being herself didnt do anything to change that
like ofc they’re still friends, they always will be. but it can never be how it was because now kitty realizes that she was/is in love with her, and she’s too scared to let it be like that again, so intimate and borderline romantic. it’s not the same only because kitty won’t let it be, because the way it was WAS romantic
and she got SO CLOSE! she got so close to achieving heterosexuality, marrying her childhood crush and locking that part of her away forever. but then she got to the altar and realized there’s something more terrifying than admitting to herself that she’s not who she tried to be/thought she was, and that’s living in a heterosexual + frankly toxic prison for the rest of her damn life. it’s so hard but i think this might be the catalyst and im rooting for her. you can be a lesbian honey!!! you can be happy!!
