#prudence.

Sure, Prudence had never really played nicely with others. She was used to being on her own, with no one for her to worry about but herself. Sometimes it still shocked her that she had accepted the Nyx Coven’s offer of allegiance, even though the part of her brain that craved constant independence was screaming at her not to. Prudence could stand Emery’s company, which in all honesty is a high compliment coming from her. He was certainly sweet and while she found herself feeling a twinge of protectiveness over him, a part of her never really forgot not to mistake silence for weakness. 

[ KATIE MCGRATH, FOURTY-TWO, SHE/HER ] - Have you seen [ PRUDENCE GALLIO ] lately? From what I’ve heard, they’re a [ CISFEMALE ] [ WITCH ]. People around town have said that they’re [ INTELLIGENT, HARD-WORKING AND DETERMINED ] but also [ AGGRESSIVE, BRAZEN AND VENGEFUL ]. Rumor has it, they’re [ FOR ] rebuilding the glamour around Halloweentown.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: mentions of murder, parental death, abuse, blood, PTSD, mental health, self-hate.

'oh no, of course not. god forbid any woman have a mind of her own,' sarcasm drips from prudence's words, glancing at regulus with a knowing stare, her small yet cheeky grin matching the likes of his own. 'or even a brain inside her head to have regular ideas, let alone radical ones. by which, of course, you mean wanting to live a life without relying on finding a husband, or making her own money, as well as spending it how she likes,' had anyone else said such a thing to prudence, she surly would have given them a piece of her mind. but she knew regulus was joking. riling her up for fun. she gives him another look before she buttons her overcoat, grabbing for her parasol next. 'men have far more radical ideas than women, i assure you. we are simply chastised for it, while you are praised. tell me - what is it like to be so privileged?' her smirk grows just so as she begins to walk past him.

she shouldn't. not for lack of materials, nor any shortage of time. what keeps prudence from putting quill to paper is the notion that she should not be in love with her best friend. the man who was to marry another woman, someone he had called upon and courted and proposed engagement with. pru had her chance, had she not? there had even been a circulating rumor amongst the ton about her and frederick, though of course, nothing had ever come from it. prudence had made such a fuss about marrying the perfect man for such a long time, that she had never stopped to consider that man had been standing by her side since they were young. and now, he was bonded to another. soon to be permanently, legally. and then there will be nothing she could do. part of her wanted to try. perhaps late, but if she did not tell fred her feelings, pru was afraid she may regret it forever.

shaking off the excess ink that drips form her quill, prudence bites at her thumbnail in an anxious way. what are you so afraid of? she asks herself. if he is to reject you, he will throw the letter away and forget it was ever sent. prudence knew frederick allowed for as little embarrassment as possible. of course, she could also ruin the friendship they've kept for a decade. glancing down at the paper, prudence decides, in a moment of bravery, to risk it all. the first letter reads as such:

fred, i hope this letter finds you well, just as i've always hoped most things found you well. i am aware, as everyone else in the ton, that you have asked miss grace st. maur for her hand. it has always been my impression that i wanted what is best for you, that i've wanted to see you have every happiness, just as you deserve. i had not, however, considered that i wanted to experience these fortunes with you. it seems, my dear friend, that my love for you stretches beyond what i first considered platonic, and has quickly taken a turn into something much more than. a quite inopportune time, i will admit. and though your engagement has been the deciding factor in my confession, i cannot deny how often i think of you. how often i have been lost while looking into your eyes, or staring at your smile when it is given just to me, or mesmerizing at your laugh and your witty humor. as long as i have put off understanding how i feel, i can deny it no longer. i love you. too much to allow you to marry someone else. too much to see you love another. if you do not feel the same, please burn this letter. but if you do... what say you? yours truly, pru.

prudence is brave enough to go as far as to address the outside of the letter before she sets it aside. she cannot send it. surly, she was not of the right mind. the letter sits upon her desk for days. the wedding between frederick and grace is a beautiful display of matrimony, and prudence holds the letter within her hands as she cries into her pillow. as time passes, she adds other letters to the stack that would never be sent, now that frederick was a married man. more confessions of love, how much she missed him and their days together, what opportunities were lost between them. one note simply reads i love you, i love you, i love you, over and over in swirling cursive. they remain in a drawer, never to be seen by frederick's eyes. eventually, it gets easier for prudence to hide them away, forgetting about them instead of reading them over, debating whether or not to send them.

they had missed their chance. frederick deserved a happy marriage. whatever happened to pru, now, was none of his concern. @frightes.

why prudence feels relieved, as if frederick would deny her the opportunity of his company, she does not know. have they really fallen so far from each other's graces that pru believed they were no longer friends? at least that. so of course he would agree to escort her. no question to be had about the intention here. yet prudence found her mind wondering to opinions of obligation rather than wanting, even as she smiled and draped her arm under fred's own. behind them, her maid fixed the short train of pru's dress and began walking a few paces back, as their chaperone. prudence wanted nothing more than to have a moment alone with the man she had once known so well, but that was not proper for either a man or woman of society. there were too many rules, too many expectations. she wanted to laugh with him, again. she wanted to see his smile and have it only for herself, a selfish wish she refused to feel bad for as she walks beside frederick out into the courtyard.

his comment about drawing the gaze of others causes a light blush to cross her cheeks, though it blends well with the rouge already painted there. it is true that many have asked her to dance, have tried to understand what made prudence lockhart tick, but all of them did feel wrong. pru laughs a bit. 'perhaps my father was correct when he told me i was too particular. and much too stubborn - much like my mother, i've been told,' glancing out across the grounds, prudence takes in the moment, quietly enjoying the way her arm seemed to fit so perfectly around frederick's. sadness touches her features, for a moment, as she glances at him. 'you have nothing to apologize for, fred,' she should address him properly, but in this moment, they were best friends again, and she wanted him to know everything was going to be alright. 'you've experienced something no one should have the tragedy of experiencing. i do not fault you for forgetting to send a letter,'

the sun graces them, reflecting off of the sparkling lavender of her dress. she feels warm, but not simply due to the great star in the sky. 'what would you like to know? the gossip of the ton? perhaps what lady whistledown has written about the bridgertons lately? or would you be more inclined to know about my rather boring preparations for this season?' surly there were more interesting things to talk about, but she was more than willing to catch frederick up, should that really be what he wants. @frightes / cont.

the last thing she wants is an apology from him. it wouldn't have been fair of prudence to expect the same amount of attention from him after he was married. she felt lucky that she'd gotten to experience his attention, at all. thier friendship spanned over two decades, and pru didn't want it to end. there were moments when she believed it might - when she'd write him a letter, but wouldn't get one in return - but she still held out hope that they could make it through anything. that hope had not been wasted. seeing fredrick again relit something within her. perhaps it was foolish, but prudence never claimed not to be a fool. as smart as she was, she did allow her heart to guide her, at times. it seemed that heart always led her back to him.