#proverbs 27:17

1. “David and Saul finished talking, and soon David and Jonathan became best friends. Jonathan thought as much of David as he did of himself. From that time on, Saul kept David in his service and would not let David go back to his own family. Jonathan liked David so much that they promised to always be loyal friends. Jonathan took off the robe that he was wearing and gave it to David. He also gave him his military clothes, his sword, his bow and arrows, and his belt. David was a success in everything that Saul sent him to do, and Saul made him a high officer in his army. That pleased everyone, including Saul's other officers.” —1 Samuel 18:1‭-‬5 (CEV)

2. “You are better having a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble.” —Ecclesiastes 4:9‭-‬10 (CEV)

3. “As one piece of iron sharpens another, so friends keep each other sharp.” —Proverbs 27:17 (ERV)

4. “A friend is there to help, in any situation, and relatives are born to share our troubles.” —Proverbs 17:17 (CEV)

5. “Then the Lord God said, “I see that it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make the companion he needs, one just right for him.”—Genesis 2:18 (ERV)

Ever since the beginning of the Word, it has been Gods plan that we not go through life alone. Jesus Himself had His Disciples, close friends to support Him through tough times. He said, “Servants don't know what their master is doing, and so I don't speak to you as my servants. I speak to you as my friends, and I have told you everything my Father has told me.” (John 15:15, CEV)

As one piece of iron sharpens another, so friends keep each other sharp. — Proverbs 27:17

The analogy here is that just as iron tools can be made sharp and fit for use by honing them against another iron tool, so likewise friends can keep one another sharp and fit for life in general by critically interacting with one another. The idea is that people are better off with friends that point out their faults and foibles than with friends who do not point out such things or with no friends at all.

The proverb should not be seen as a contradiction of Jesus' admonition "Don't judge others, and God will not judge you. If you judge others, you will be judged the same way you judge them. God will treat you the same way you treat others" (Matthew 7:1-2). This is because the sharpening that occurs between friends is understood here as a positive interaction that improves each one for life, but judgement is condemnatory and negative in nature and does not lead to that kind of improvement. Sharpening builds people up; judgment tears them down.

Since sharpening is to be understood in a positive sense, then we should expect such interaction with our friends and we should be willing to accept it. The person who is constantly on the defensive and unwilling to receive any sharpening from friends will not receive the benefit of the interaction and is unlikely to keep many friends. Such a person will be, from the point of view of the proverb, dull and unfit for use.

At the same time, since the sharpening is positive in nature, we should not be afraid to give positive critical feed-back to our friends. The person who is unwilling to sharpen friends will not be much of a friend in the long run and is also unlikely to keep many friends. Who wants friends that never challenge us or question us?

The similarity between sharpening and condemnation, however, means that one must be careful not to allow their critical interactions with friends to degenerate into condemnation. If a friend is unwilling to receive critical feed-back then it might be wise to back-off in order to preserve the friendship. Pressing the issue might lead to condemnation. When it comes to critical interactions with friends, prudence is called for, as it is everywhere else in a Christian's life.

Today, ask the LORD for the prudence necessary to be a good friend.

As iron sharpens iron,