#proudaf

Yes, I am non-binary. No, I don't get offended when people use femme gendered exclamations at me in a sentence, such as: "girl", "sis", "my woman" etc.

I think this is partly because I don't get upset when people say masculine gendered exclamations at me either, such as: bro, my man, brudduh, etc.

I am both and neither, so I'm not bothered by either. Ha.

I recognize them as linguistic tools to show emphasis. Plus there is a Caribbean cultural significance and joy found in using language this way. Saying "Sis, you are hilarious!" Doesn't necessarily sound to me like you are saying "You are a girl, you are hilarious!" It's more like "Family, you are hilarious!"

Additionally, I've also been kicking around how we accept masculinity with androgyny with ease but have a much harder time recognizing feminine things with androgyny. A woman with a hard jaw and a suit is easily penned as androgynous, but it takes a lot more devotion to be an androgynous man. Could this possibly be because we consider the male to be the default? Hmm.

Therefore in my active rejection of masculinity as default, I won't get upset when you offer a feminine noun at me. I like femininity and I like my femininity.

Linguistically we expect that women and femme presenting people won't get offended when we lump them in defaulted masculine collectives such as "Okay, guys" or "Vise dis men". At what level is this justification and acceptance informed by our language reflecting how feminine is considered to be inferior? Basically when you say "guys/men" you "raise the status" of women/femme to that of men when they are in a group, instead of degrading the men to call them women/femme.

So in an attempt to level the playing field of what words can be seen and accepted as androgynous or gender neutral, I accept the feminized words. I consider both "sis" and "bro" to be neutralized when they are referring to me. Because as I said above, I am both and neither. I am the neutralizing factor.

In order to avoid these compromise gymnastics it is just easier to call me "family" - but as explained I won't be upset if because of linguistic conditioning you don't.

This may be a little confusing for some or it may not be confusing at all, depending on how steadfastly you grip to gender. But, to be honest, as long as you use my preferred pronouns (which are they/them) I'm happy.