i love it here/sar

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i love it here/sar

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well right before we were frontstuck they found the new alter by the seaside. they are a small mixed child. when everyone (not everyone a couple of alters) came to them they screamed, turned black like a shadow person and screecked. they turned into a small monster a monster similar to the drawing ive done before. one i drew as a child so this could have been a dormant alter coming from programming we went through.
they turned into this monster. a monster Pandora told me was him, but Andy asked and said it wasnt actually him. but he and Pure both saw the monster in the headspace when the body was small so they could be a programmed alter, so might star and faith tbh cause theyre animal/monster alters. we dont know. Pandora and Pure got them calm enough to go inside the cottage we dont know if theyre verbal or can speak. were waiting to learn about them. theyre in the cottage to my knowledge but are very scared and confused. were scared and confused. gotta bring this up to our RS and therapist. Andy said they look like this monster but smaller i need to see them for myself - Shane
is there a place I can read up on government programming
sorry no its very hard to come by but the only source i know of to my knowledge is anti semetic its a tumblr page that is now inactive. if anyone has any sources put them in the notes. theres info on MKultra which the closesest stuff you can find in my own research
Hi, were you programmed? Completely ok if u aren't comfortable answering. I just noticed u practically saying you were, and the maronite symbolism.
hello, yes i we have been. or.... we believe we have. been fighting to peice the flashbacks together and we only recently figured out this happened to us. struggling to still believe it.... cause so much has happened to us already. its hard to talk about. we plan to make more vent art about it- shane
I did a bit of searching on RAMCOA/TMBC(?) and one of our gatekeepers cut us off from getting too into it. It was making me sick and I sort of blacked out. Is this a sign that I may have been prog. ? - 🦌🥩
(If you have advice or anyone does, that would be great.)
it's extremely triggering for most anyone to read so nooo I wouldn't worry that it's a sign!

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The anon that asked about programming here, please don't apologize! It's good to have boundaries. We've been accepted into trauma therapy but at the moment there are no vacancies so it'll take a while until we can actually start. Until then I'm trying not to overthink it too much and focus on self care instead. You guys also take care of yourselves :)
you’re doing all the right things and we’re so so so proud of you! i’m sorry it’s scary to stare down this barrel but it’s going to be okay, and we’re so glad you’re still here and seeking help and taking care of yourselves! ❤️🩹
Hi, please ignore this of it's triggering for you, but I don't know who else to ask. I have DID and no idea about The Trauma apart from little bits I can conclude from our triggers. The trauma holders don't communicate to us in the surface layer. Is it possible to have organised/programming type of trauma without our parents being aware of it? Family was dysfunctional in a different way. And if yes, can it simply have stopped due to something like us moving/getting too old?
hey i’m really sorry we don’t feel comfortable answering questions like this :( especially anything to do with programming, we’ve set a boundary with ourself to not discuss programming with other systems because it can be really dangerous. please be safe and it is reeeeeally important to talk to a trauma trained specialist/therapist about this stuff, it is far too complex and important to talk about with strangers or people who aren’t trained in this. it can be really dangerous to talk about this with the wrong people. please please be safe and reach out to the right professional about this! sending you so much love though please be kind to yourselves <3
im sorry to tell you and its ok if u dont want too but what was the horrible programming cults name?
hi. okay so we were under the age of 8 when this stuff happened and we already have memory problems off stuff that happened yesterday. were not thinking the cult abuse/ programming stuff and the government programming were the same situation. we think they had time apart fron each other but were not sure. im not sure for sure. i cant tell. we dont remember any names of places or people. i dont think... its hard to think about... im not sure... sorry another alter might have a better veiw on the situation but no ones telling me anything. probably cause i couldnt take it. im barley functioning as it is. i cant handle life... so i cant tell you the name of those places because they kept us away from the windows and i was ment to be in the back and be quiet... they gave me junk food and i was getting starved at my dads house so i think i didnt put up a fight cause i didnt know what was happeing and i wanted the food and they were nice to me... im not sure.... its just flashbacks and nightmares and im just trying to piece it together... it feels like too much.. anyways yeah.. no names - shane