lol programming stuff I am not okay haha but that's how it be
Fantasizing about my literal abuser coming to "save me" cause shit is going off again lol and all I can think of is being back in that safety of horrific fucked up shit. Things would make sense then. I wouldn't have to think. It would be perfect.
I bet he'd love me just the way I am. Just like he always did. I can't help just fantasizing about him and how we were when I was young. It must have been so beautiful. He'd make me feel so safe and warm, pat my head and tell me how good I was, how I was always the favorite and the best. How pretty I am. How perfect I am. How much he's missed me. How proud of me he is. I want him to love me and only me. I miss him. I wish I had someone like him again.
