Like he can make a REALLY GOOD STEW. But he can't make anything else good.

Probably mostly eats rations cuz thats just what he ate for years.

Probably enjoys strawberry milk tho

———————-

Barnacles: “Professor? Are you home?”

Natquick, under a pile of books: “Yes yes! I’m right here,”

Barnacles: “Oh- what are you- never mind- I have a gift for you-“

Natquick: “A gift? Dear that’s awfully sweet of You! But why? It’s not my birthday is it-?”

Barnacles: “No professor, it’s Father’s Day-“

Natquick: “Oh! I knew something was happening today-“

Barnacles, awkwardly handing him the gift bag: “Happy Father’s Day, professor Natquick..!”

Natquick: “AWWWWWWW!”

Barnacles: “:333 open it!”

Natquick: “Okay okay!!!”

*opening his gift, which is a custom jacket, a “Worlds best dad” mug, and a card*

Natquick: “Aww! Barnacles I love them!! Did you make the jacket yourself?”

Barnacles: “Well I bought the base and Dashi helped me customise it,”

Natquick: “Let’s see the card!”

*Silence while he reads*

*Natquick, in happy tears*

Barnacles: “professor-? Are you oka-“ *gets snatched into a hug”

Natquick; “THANKYOUSOMUCHILOVEYOUSOMUCHHH”

Barnacles: “Aww your welcome! Happy Father’s Day Natquick :333”

Natquick: “Happy Father’s Day, barnacles :3”

—————————————

Meanwhile:

Kwazii: “Dashi you got that right?”

Dashi: “heheh yez >:3”

Paani: “Can’t we just leave them alone? They are having a moment!”

Kwazii: “I mean we could…But what’s the fun in that!”

Barnacles: I CANT KILL IT- IT PROBABLY HAS A FAMILY-

Natquick: BARNACLES WOULD YOU LIKE TO STARVE???

Barnacles: AT THIS POINT SURE! WHY NOT!

Natquick:BARNACLES.

Barnacles: ILL JUST LIVE OFF SNOW BALLS-

Natquick: BARNACLES NO.

Bianca: I hunt for feather paws-

Natquick:Thank you Bianca, barnacles this is sad.

Bianca: No problem, and barnacles, you need to stop feeling bad for that darn seal. ITS A WALKING DINNER!

Barnacles:DONT SAY THAT! HARRY WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU-

Natquick: Bianca quit teasing barnacles- they will deck you in the face with a badly made snow ball,

——

Barnacles: uhh…professor! Why isn’t this little guy waking up?

Natquick:…*who’s gonna tell her it’s de*d-*

Barnacles: Cmon little guy! Wake up! Your gonna get eaten if you stay out here!

Tracker: barnacles, according to my book, Hes probably de*d-

Barnacles, tearing: W-What..-?

Natquick-WHY DID YOU TELL THEM??

Tracker: ITS TRUE PROFESSOR!

Barnacles: *Crying*

Natquick: It amazes me how a 3 year old is smarter then an 11 year old-

Tracker: barnacles is smart but they don’t think sometimes-

Barnacles: GRANDPA MAKE IT ALIVE AGAIN!

Natquick: HOW HOW?? WHAT AM I? A MAGICIAN???

*no Joke 7 minutes later they are all dressed in black*

Natquick: what has my life come to? I’m at a random sea creatures funeral-

Barnacles: SHH! We are having a moment of silence. Show some respect to mr fish.

Natquick: YOU NAMED IT???

Barnacles: SHH!!!!

Tracker: I can’t believe they are older then me sometimes-

Barnacles-I’m sorry-

Natquick-BARNACLES- THIS IS THE 4th TIME A BOY BROKE YOUR HEART.

Barnacles-I SAID IM SORRY-

Natquick-HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THE RED FLAGS?? THEY ARE BRIGHT RED!

Barnacles-I DONT KNOW MAN-

Natquick-I’m just now assuming that you physically can not see the color red.

Barnacles-Well-

Natquick-If you get heart broken by one more walking talking red flag barnacles I swear to all that’s holy I will commit a crime crime-

Barnacles-NO-

Natquick-No more boys In this goddamn den-

Barnacles-What about girls?

Natquick-NON OF THEM EITHER-

Barnacles-…But I’m 17-

Natquick-UNTILL- we fix your eyes so they can see the red flags, no bringing anyone home- except friends, since you are 17 with 4 ex’s- that’s not normal-

Natquick-Are you gonna stick up for barnacles?

Bianca-Mh!

Natquick-So if someone’s being mean to barnacles are you gonna stand up for her?

Bianca-Mh!!!

Natquick-And do you know why you need to look out for barnacles?

Bianca-Cause…..uhh…..Oh! Cause the kids at our school can be @$$holes! And barnacles is smaller then me >:)

Barnacles-HEY-

Natquick-WAIT WHAT BIANCA??? NO WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT??

Bianca-Mr Calico jack did!

*Calico jack weezing in that background*

Bianca-What? It’s true!!!

Barnacles-THATS STILL MEAN!

Natquick-HEY- no arguments at the dinner table, what even happened?

Barnacles-Bianca said that my ears are to big for my head! *tearing*

Natquick, In his head-Don’t laugh don’t laugh don’t laugh-

Natquick-Aww come here kiddo- Bianca- be nice to barnacles for once- I can’t keep doing this-

Bianca-finee, I’m sorry barnacles-

Barnacles-It’s ok-

Natquick-Ironic that you beat people up for teasing barnacles yet you tease them more-

Bianca, dead serious-That’s my barnacles. Only I can tease them, no one else can.

Natquick-…Alrighty then-

*12pm*

Barnacles-*walking out of their room*

Natquick-What are you doing up?

Barnacles-I could ask you the same thing…

Natquick-I’m nocturnal barnacles,

Barnacles-Oh yeah…forgot about that…-

Natquick-Why don’t you go back to bed?

Barnacles-I don’t want too,

Natquick-uhhh- your literally falling asleep as we speak speak-

Barnacles-Wha…- oh…well-

Natquick-at least come sit sit down before you Fricken fall-

Barnacles-o…k..

Natquick-You seriously need a better sleep schedule-

Barnacles-*asleep*

Natquick-I will never understand your choices to not sleep in you bed barnacles- it makes no sence sence-

Barnacles-*still asleep*

Natquick-Want a blanket?

Barnacles-no..it’s so fucking hot here-

Natquick-LANGUAGE!

Barnacles-you say it too.

Natquick-I’m a adult, your 14- theres a difference,

Barnacles-mh….

Natquick-Are you sleeping on the couch tonight?

Barnacles-Yeah I guess,

Natquick-Good night night then!