#pro acceptance

Just like binary trans people, non-binary (or enby) trans people have been around for a long time. Only recently has it even come into the attention of the general public. 

Unfortunately, the concept of being outside of the gender binary is one that is often criticized or brushed over - most people who do not identify as enby often do not truly understand. Enby people can face invalidation from all angles, even in the transgender community itself. It is important to point out that people who identify as enby are not "special snowflakes", and most certainly not "the reason people shit on the transgender community".

This kind of lack of understanding in today's society tends to lead to the erasure or invalidation of the enby community. Here are some ways in which this may occur:

Language often excludes enby people. So many words in languages are unnecessarily gendered - right down to objects being labelled as masculine or feminine by languages such as French. While this cannot be helped - after all, these languages were created so long ago - simply consider how it may feel. Some enby people don't want to be associated with gendered words, while some do. Maybe keep it in mind the next time you're generalising a group of people with a gendered term!

People rarely perceive their (a)genders accurately. Unlike many binary transgender people, it isn't common for an enby person to have an end goal in their transition. There is often no possible endpoint where enby people can hope to be safe when being read as their true (a)gender identity. This means enby people can be misgendered more often, and tend to face denial, invalidation, and violence for most of their lives.

Some people go as far as to tell enby people what (they think) their pronouns should be. This generally comes with the excuse that their pronouns are wrong, hard, ungrammatical, or silly. God forbid non-binary people decide not to use pronouns at all  - the lack of respect for their pronouns (or rather, lack of) only gets more apparent in this situation.

Bathrooms. If an establishment even has gender-neutral bathrooms, they’re often far out of the way. This is inconvenient, time-wasting, and isolating. And if enby people aren't perceived as the "right gender" for the bathroom they do use, they aren't safe - physically or emotionally.

Transgender healthcare is scarce enough as it is - and it only gets worse for non-binary trans folks. Many enby people never seek healthcare for fear of discrimination, since non-binary people don't fit into the image of "legitimately transgender". This is not to say that all enby people even want to physically transition, but it is a big problem for those who do.

There is little to no coverage of non-binary people in the media. This is also true with gender nonconforming (GNC) binary transgender people. How are enby people meant to be understood or get respect when so many people don't even know they exist? We cannot understand something we do not know about or are not educated about. Medica coverage for non-binary or GNC transgender people could significantly help to educate people on the topic, and spread more understanding!

Non-binary erasure has some pretty huge impacts. Non-binary trans people are more likely than a binary-identified trans person to:

Attempt suicide (43% non-binary versus 41% binary trans)

Face police harassment (31% non-binary versus 21% binary)

Earn less than $10,000/year (21% non-binary versus 14% binary trans)

Face assault, physically (32% non-binary versus 25% binary) or sexually (15% non-binary versus 9% binary), due to gender bias.

These numbers only get higher for non-binary people of colour (POC).

So, what can we do to change this? Spread. Accurate. Information. About. The. Enby. Community. Seriously, the best way to tackle this problem, right now, is education - much like with ALL transgender issues! Misinformation, as well as an inadequate amount of education on these topics, that is the biggest enemy we have to face.

Sources:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-not-to-say-to-nonbinary-people

In most languages, pronouns are used to refer to nouns. If we all only referred to each other by our names, let's face it, this would get so repetitive! 

In reference to the transgender community, our pronouns, or preferred pronouns, refers to how any person feels comfortable being addressed as.

The most common pronouns used by transgender people are: - He/Him - She/Her - They/Them

Gender Role (noun): The role or behavior learned or imposed upon a person as appropriate to their gender, determined by the prevailing cultural norms.

Gender norms, or gender roles, play a huge part in the history of most societies. They are ever-changing but tend to do so slowly. Already, the youth of today are challenging these norms more than ever - attempting to demolish the inequality between the sexes that plagues us all, such as pay gaps and male self-expression. They affect almost everything we do as humans - how a child is raised, what clothes we wear, whether or not we wear makeup, dye our hair, and so much more. 

However, with the evolution of the term "transtrender", we now face a disconnect of who 'can and can't' fight gender roles’. We face situations such as celebrating cisgender male makeup artists while simultaneously invalidating transgender men because they enjoy wearing makeup. We celebrate cisgender females wearing "masculine" clothes while invalidating transgender women who do not present as hyper-feminine.

As far as today’s media representation of transgender people goes, most of those who are in the spotlight tend to follow traditional gender roles. Their narrative often starts with, “I have known since I was little” - which is not at all uncommon! However, there is a lack of representation for transgender people who do not conform to traditional gender roles. This is true both for binary and non-binary transgender people. Even in the transgender community, there are those who do not support the validity of those who do not solely aim to "pass" as their gender identity.

Note: Passing is the act of being perceived as, by society, as the gender you identify as. I have made a much more detailed post about it - search #passing to find out more!

This causes widespread confusion on what it means to be transgender. Being trans does not and should not limit your gender or self-expression. In fact, gender identity, in general, has nothing to do with gender/self-expression! If a man wears a dress, it means one thing - he likes dresses! The social idea of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny can be so damaging for the transgender community - it forces us to make a choice that no one else has to make: transgender people are forced to choose between self-expression and "passing", and are invalidated for choosing self-expression. We are told by society that we have to prove our gender identity, that we may only be "ourselves" if we fall into traditional gender roles of our gender identity. Which is the exact thing that cisgender people worldwide are trying to fight!

Transgender men are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot bind or pack.

Like or wear "feminine" clothing.

Wear makeup.

Do not/cannot pass as "masculine".

Transgender women are not less valid if they:

Do not/cannot tuck or wear padding.

Do not like or wear "feminine" clothing.

Do not wear makeup.

Do not shave.

Do not/cannot pass as "feminine".

What makes transgender people trans is their gender identity and sense of self. Fight the gender roles that are forcefully imposed on the transgender community.

Sources:

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/gender_role

https://youtu.be/KzZfY_Kn8l0

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_expression

https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/03/28/why-the-trans-community-needs-to-ban-the-word-transtrender-for-good

Packing (verb): A term used to describe the use of a non-flesh penis.

Packing is, much like binding, most common for masculine presenting transgender people and partakers in drag. There are some who simply refer to their prosthetic/non flesh penis just as their penis - many can be used for sex and to pee while standing. There are three common methods of packing:

- DIY Packers: This is an affordable method of creating a bulge in one's trousers. Common DIYs include using socks to create a bulge, or filling a condom with hair gel and tying it off.

- Store bought packers/"Strap-ons": These are often found in adult stores. They come in a variety of sizes and skin tones, both cut and uncut. Some have testicles, can be used for sexual penetration, or can be used to stand and urinate. Most can be held in place by a jockstrap or harness.

- Prosthetic Penises These are made to look and feel like a typical cisgender penis, and is attached to your body with medical adhesive. Some models can be used for sexual penetration and/or urination while standing. However, these tend to more expensive than other packers.

As one may guess, most packers require cleaning, and usually come with the instructions to properly do so.

Potential Risks of Packing:

Consider wearing a condom if you are using a rubber or Cyberskin packer or prosthetic penis for sex, as it is possible to spread HIV and other STIs with them.

Some people experience skin irritation from the materials of packers. This can be helped by wearing two pairs of underwear, with the penis in between them, to protect your skin.

Others may have allergic reactions to the medical adhesive used for prosthetic penises.

As most people in the LGBTQ+ community knows, the terms 'transgender' and 'non-binary' are simply umbrella terms. There are many different gender identities, and I can't claim to know them all.

Some of the more "common" gender identities include:

Bigender: A gender identity which can be literally translated as 'two genders'/'double gender'. These two gender identities could be male and female, but could also include non-binary identities.

Cisgender: A non-trans person (A person whose gender identity and gender expression is aligned with the sex assigned at birth).

Demigender: A gender identity that involves feeling a partial, but not a full, connection to a particular gender identity. Examples of demigender identities include demigirl and demiboy.

FTM/Trans Man: A female-to-male trans person. Note: Some trans men don’t think of themselves as having transitioned from female to male (because they always felt male). Some people prefer to be referred to as men rather than trans men

Gender Fluid: Individuals who experience different gender identities at different times. A gender fluid person's gender identity can fluctuate between multiple genders at once, none at all, or single gender identities. Some gender fluid people regularly move between only a few specific genders, perhaps as few as two.

Genderqueer: A person whose gender varies from the traditional 'norm' or who feels their gender identity is neither female nor male, both female and male, or a different gender identity altogether.

MTF/Trans Woman: Male-to-female trans person. Note: Some trans women don’t think of themselves as having transitioned from male to female (because they always felt female). Some people prefer to be referred to as women rather than trans women.

Multigender: Refers to people who experience more than one gender identity. It is usually used as an umbrella term for other identities which fit this description. Examples include (but are not limited to): bigender (two genders), trigender (three genders), polygender (many genders), pangender (all genders) and genderfluid (variable gender).

Neutrois/Agender: A gender identity which is considered to be a neutral/null gender/genderless. Some who consider themselves neutrally gendered/genderless may identify as both, while others prefer one term over the other.

Gender dysphoria (noun):

A distressed state that stems from the conflict between a person's gender identity and biological sex. 

There are two widely recognized forms that gender dysphoria can take:

Physical Dysphoria: Discomfort related to one’s body.

Social Dysphoria: Discomfort related to how one is viewed by society.

There is huge debate in the trans community whether or not one needs dysphoria to be trans - the lack of education on the topic doesn’t help, either! Regardless of your opinion on the matter, take a moment to reflect upon your motivations before invalidating someone’s identity - consider that no one understands another’s mind, body or experiences more than said person does.

Our enemy is not each other, but the lack of education and acceptance that surrounds the transgender community!

Sources:

Let us start with the basics - definitions, identities and pronouns - before we get into the deep stuff!

Transgender (adj.)