System Error: Jealousy Detected (One-Shot)
Pairing: Pritam Parker x Female Reader
Tropes: Cyber Security Expert / Girlfriend, Established Relationship, Jealousy, Flirting to Teach a Lesson, Protective Boyfriend, Crackfic / Comedy
Synopsis: When a beachside dinner date goes south thanks to a waitress offering "complimentary extra fries," tech genius Pritam Parker remains completely oblivious to the blatant flirting, chalking it up to great hospitality culture. Determined to teach her cluelessly handsome boyfriend a lesson, Reader drops off lunch at the Cyber Cell office the next day and actively flirts with the smooth new transfer. What follows is a total digital system crash in Pritam's brain as his intense jealousy pushes him to pull off a chaotic, petty move right under Inspector Pedro's highly amused nose.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This fanfiction is based on the character of Pritam Parker from Rajkumar Hirani's Pritam & Pedro web series, portrayed by Vir Hirani. It is a work of transformative fiction intended purely for entertainment purposes and is not affiliated with, authorized by, or endorsed by the filmmakers, actors, or production companies.
It was supposed to go well. The vibe at the beachside shack was supposed to be perfectтАФwarm sea breeze, fairy lights, and you sitting across from Pritam, your boyfriend of 6months. The only problem was the waitress assigned to your table doing entirely too much. She had laid down the menus, leaning in so close her hair practically brushed his shoulder. тАЬOur specials today are fresh catch, but for you, I can get the kitchen to make something extra special,тАЭ she had said, looking straight at him.
Pritam, completely oblivious, had just given her that brilliant, devastating smile. тАЬOh, thank you! Bohot achhi service hai aapki. Prawns mein kaunsa curry best rahegaтАФspicy ya butter garlic?тАЭ The waitress giggled, touching his forearm lightly. тАЬSpicy is great, but I think youтАЩd like the butter garlic. I'll make sure your portion is extra large. And I'll add some complimentary extra fries just for you.тАЭ
тАЬArre wow, thank you so much!тАЭ Pritam had beamed, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners in pure, innocent appreciation. You had sat there, arms crossed, watching the entire performance. The moment she walked away, you snapped. тАЬExtra fries, huh?тАЭ
Pritam blinked, adjusting his plaid shirt sleeve. тАЬHaan? Bohot polite hai na? Goa ke restaurants ka hospitality culture sach mein kamaal hai.тАЭ
тАЬHospitality culture? Pritam, she was practically sitting in your lap!тАЭ
тАЬKya? N-nahi toh? She was just telling me about the prawns!тАЭ Pritam had stammered, his brain completely stalling as you refused to hold his hand for the rest of the night. The ride home was met with total silence, leaving him entirely panicked and clueless.
The next morning, the Cyber Cell office in Goa smelled like old files, damp monsoons, and the cheap cutting chai Pedro insisted on ordering every two hours.
Pritam had spent the entire morning being a total nervous wreck. He kept pacing near the water cooler, rubbing the back of his neck, until he finally slinked over to PedroтАЩs desk looking completely defeated. With his thick hair a bit messy from stressing all morning, he looked highly stressed.
"SirтАж ek baat batao," Pritam mumbled, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Agar koi aapse achanak gussa ho jaye, bina kisi wajah ke, toh aap kya karte ho?"
Pedro didn't even look up from his newspaper. "Apni biwi se maafi maang leta hoon."
"Nahi sir, biwi nahi, bandiтАж matlab gussa hai woh," Pritam corrected, his face flushing red. "Par meri koi galti hi nahi hai! Kal raat ko hum dinner pe gaye the. The restaurant service was so good, the waitress even gave us extra fries. Aur yeh achanak gussa ho gayi. Pure raste baat nahi ki. Maine kiya kya hai?"
Pedro slowly lowered his newspaper, staring at PritamтАЩs completely clueless face. A slow smirk spread across the veteran cop's face as he realized exactly what had happened.
"OhoтАж toh waitress ne extra fries diye?" Pedro chuckled, shaking his head. "Tujhe lagta hai toh tera dimaag har cheez mein fast chalta hai, na? Abe gadhe, she wasn't serving you food, she was flirting with you!"
"Flirting?" PritamтАЩs jaw practically dropped, his eyes going wide. "Sir, nahi! Main toh bas prawns ka pooch raha tha. Mera dhyaan toh sirf ispe tha!"
"Toh jaa ke usko bol na, mujhe kya samjha raha hai," Pedro laughed, shooing him away with his pen.
Right at that moment, the afternoon sun was hitting the windows as the office door clicked open.
Pedro fsmiled wide seeing you walk in and turned towards Pritam,"Look, your problem is here. Aur haan, aaram se baat kar, mera dimaag kharab mat karna!"
You walked into the Cyber Cell wearing your favourite black kurti and jhumkas, holding a lunch dabba, heading straight toward PritamтАЩs desk, thinking of apologizing to him for last night. Honestly, you don't even know what came over you at that moment-you were never the one to be petty jealous. To be honest, you decided that it's Pritam's fault for being so oblivious and handsome that every girl in near vicinity falls for his nerdiness.
Before you could even reach him, Officer SameerтАФthe newest transfer to the departmentтАФintercepted you with an easy, polite smile, holding out his tablet.
"Hi! You must be dropping off lunch," Sameer said smoothly, stepping directly into your path and leaning against a nearby desk with casual confidence. "Hey, by the way, if you ever get lost around the old quarters on your way here, just use this offline node. Works like a charm."
Out of the corner of your eye, you felt a heavy, burning gaze lock onto you from across the room. You glanced subtly past Sameer's shoulder. Pritam was standing dead still by Pedro's desk. His eyes were narrowed into tiny slits, staring right at the two of you, his handsome features twisting into a deep, brooding scowl.
A wicked thought crossed your mind. Achha? Kal raat ko toh bohot high hospitality culture chal raha tha na? Ab dekho.
You decided it was time to teach your brilliant, oblivious boyfriend a much-needed lesson.
Instead of brushing Sameer off, you stepped a little closer into his personal space, tilting your head up and flashing your most radiant, dazzling smile.
"Wow, Sameer," you said, deliberately raising your voice so it carried beautifully across the quiet office. "That is so incredibly smart. Honestly, I get lost all the time. It is so refreshing to meet a guy who actually knows how to guide someone properly instead of just staring at screens all day."
SameerтАЩs eyes brightened, clearly flattered by the sudden attention. He leaned down a bit closer, tapping the screen. "Oh, it's nothing. I can actually download the custom layout for your phone right now if you want? It even highlights the best cafes nearby. Maybe I could show you one sometime?"
"Oh, really? I would absolutely love that," you purred, brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear and leaning over the tablet with him. "You are way too sweet, Sameer. Seriously, you have amazing taste."
Across the room, Pritam froze mid-breath. His knuckles turned white where he was gripping the edge of Pedro's desk. With his thick hair, well-groomed beard, and rolled-up plaid shirt sleeves, he looked like a fierce, protective hero going to jump into an action sceneтАФexcept his brain was experiencing a complete and total system crash.
Pedro watched the entire performance play out, suppressing a massive burst of laughter. He took a loud, slow sip of his chai and nudged Pritam hard in the ribs.
"Arre, Pritam," Pedro said, his voice dripping with faux-innocence. "Look at that boy, Sameer. Kitna helpful hai, such a gentleman. Aur teri bandi toh lagta hai baki ka lunch uske sath hi share kar legi. Naye ladke toh bohot charm wale hain aaj kal."
Pritam snapped his gaze to Pedro, his face completely flushed with a mix of panic and pure jealousy. "Kya charm sir? Kuch bhi! And his offline map protocol is totally basic. A middle schooler could code that in ten minutes, okay?!"
"Mujhe toh nahi pata, re," Pedro chuckled, thoroughly enjoying the show. "Look at her smiling at him. Kal raat ko restaurant mein toh tere pe aise nahi hans rahi thi na? Lagta hai cafe date fix ho rahi hai. Teri bandi to gaayi haat se samjho."
Seeing you laugh so beautifully at SameerтАФwhile holding the lunch dabba meant for himтАФsent Pritam into absolute overdrive.
"SheтАЩs justтАж she's just being polite!" Pritam muttered, his voice dropping into a desperate, hurried whisper. He marched back over to his own desk, aggressively slammed himself down into his rolling chair, and started deleting random lines of code just to look occupied, though his eyes never left you.
"Haan, haan, definitely," Pedro called out loudly from across the room, adding fuel to the fire. "Bohot polite hai. Look, now he's holding the tablet for her. Bohot fast hai Sameer, very smooth!"
That was the absolute breaking point. Pritam shoved his rolling chair backward with so much force it banged loudly against the filing cabinet.
He marched right back out of his corner, his sneakers squeaking aggressively against the floor. He didn't stop until he practically threw his broad frame right between you and Sameer, completely cutting off SameerтАЩs view of you like a human shield.
"Pritam?" you asked, biting the absolute life out of the inside of your cheek to hide the massive smirk threatening to break across your face.
Pritam didn't even look at you yet. He locked eyes with Officer Sameer, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, looking intimidatingly broad but acting incredibly petty. "Officer Sameer. The firewall on that tablet is outdated by three patches. Agar department Wi-Fi se connect kiya na, toh pura database leak ho jayega. IтАЩm confiscating it for security optimization."
Sameer blinked, totally bewildered by the sudden intrusion. "UhтАж I just updated it this morning, ParkerтАФ"
"I am the consultant here, expert main hoon!" Pritam interrupted, his voice rising into a sharp, jealous pitch. "Mujhe pata hai optimize kaise karte hain. Do isko."
He snatched the tablet out of Sameer's hand, caught your wrist firmly with his free hand, and practically dragged youтАФand the lunch dabbaтАФback toward his private corner of the office.
Pedro watched them go, shaking his head and laughing out loud. "Eh, Sameer! Bura mat maan. Iska processor thoda jaldi garam ho jata hai."
Pritam pulled you right into his desk space, put you in his rolling chair, letting go of your wrist only to take the lunch dabba and slam it onto his desk. Then he immediately placed his large hands on the armrests of your chair, completely trapping you in his little bubble. He was breathing heavily, his hair slightly messy, his dark eyes wide and burning with intense jealousy as he stared down at you.
"You're doing this on purpose," he accused in a fierce, breathless whisper, his cheeks burning a bright crimson.
"Doing what, Pritam?" you asked with total innocence, leaning back comfortably in the chair. "Just being polite to the officers who actually appreciate a good conversation? Sameer was just showing me some excellent local hospitality."
"Expert main hoon na!" he corrected, completely exasperated, his usual devastating smile fully replaced by a heavy, pouting scowl. "He doesn't even know how to bypass a secondary proxy! Aur tum uski baaton pe itna hans rahi thi? Mere proxy jokes pe toh kabhi aise nahi hansti tum!"
"Maybe because your proxy jokes end with you explaining data packets for forty minutes," you teased, reaching out casually to fix his messy collar.
Pritam deflated a little, his fierce, defensive posture instantly melting away the very second your fingers brushed against his shirt. He leaned into your touch just a fraction, his voice dropping its frantic, jealous edge and becoming soft, vulnerable, and completely earnest.
"Yaar, mujhe us waitress se koi matlab nahi tha," he mumbled, looking down at the lunch box before looking back directly into your eyes. "Maine uska chehra tak nahi dekha. I was just trying to remember if you preferred the spicy prawns or the butter garlic ones. I swear. Pura time main bas tumhe dekh raha tha. Aur tum yahan aake naye officer se cafe dates ki baatein kar rahi ho."
Your heart did a tiny, familiar flip. For a certified genius, he could be incredibly stupid, but he was your stupid genius.
"I know," you said softly, letting your hand rest against his bearded cheek, feeling the tension finally leave his shoulders. "I was just mad because you're so handsome and you don't even realize how people look at you."
Pritam blinked, his brain clearly stalling at the compliment. "MainтАж handsome hoon?"
"Extremely," you smiled, tracing his jawline. "But if you ever glare at a tablet like you're going to fight it again, I might have to start bringing lunch for the traffic police just to see what happens."
"Bilkul nahi," Pritam warned, a tiny, relieved smile finally breaking across his face. He leaned down, closing the remaining distance, and quickly pressed his lips to yours in a sweet, lingering kiss right there in the middle of the office.
"Oi! Romeo! Juliet!" PedroтАЩs voice boomed from across the room, completely shattering the moment. He was pointing at the desk. "Khana kholo re! Khushboo yahan tak aa rahi hai. Aur mere Cyber Cell mein ye sab band karo!"
Pritam jumped back, his face turning bright red all over again, while you just laughed, thoroughly satisfied with your afternoon's work.
HEYYYY GUYSSSS-SO MY SECOND TIME WRITING A FIC ON PRITAM ILOVEHIMSOMUCH THATS MY MAN Anywaysssss pls do give a like and comment if you like it XOXO
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