Anurag Basu and his world of non-consensual kissing
I recently watched the film Metro In Dino. As an ardent fan of Life in a Metro’s music and Konkona Sen, I went in with high expectations, only to be disappointed, repulsed, and made to feel extremely uncomfortable.
The filmmaker brings similar tropes from his first Metro instalment - cheating spouses, breaking off a wedding at the last moment, and kissing someone when they’re asleep. And we’re not talking about a goodnight, sweet dreams kind of a cute kiss on the cheek. This often occurs between potential romantic interests, typically initiated by the male protagonist when the female protagonist is asleep.
In Metro In Dino, a 15-year-old girl, confused about her sexuality, is advised by her aunt (played by Sara Ali Khan) to kiss and “test” herself to see if she’s into boys or girls. She says, in her very cinematic Bollywood cringe style, “If you feel butterflies when you kiss a girl, you’re into girls. If it happens when you kiss a boy, then you’re into boys.” aka you cannot be bisexual or even asexual because the litmus test for your sexuality here is smooching.
Unfortunately, expecting Bollywood to write a progressive queer storyline was my mistake, sorry galti se mistake ho gaya. So, the high schooler does the same. First, she awkwardly kisses a boy she likes (and yeah, a simple ‘Can I kiss you?’ would’ve gone a long way here), and then she tries to kiss her girl-crush when she is asleep.
Is consent still a foreign topic for older filmmakers? In most visual media, the portrayal of consent in physical intimacy is very minimal. Consent, here, is always “assumed” whether the person is awake or not.
Jagga Jasoos also repeats this “Aw! She’s sleeping, let’s kiss her on the lips” scene towards the end of the song “Ullu ka patha” in the movie. Ullu ka patha hi hoga jisko consent k bare mein pata nhi hoga.
The protagonist, Jagga (Ranbir Kapoor), tries to kiss Shruthi (Katrina Kaif), when she’s asleep. He leans towards her berth, in a moving train, while both of them are in their respective upper berths. She wakes up in time making him recede to his berth. Jagga claims he needed to moisturise his lips as he rubs his fingers on her lips and smudges it on his. Ew!
I love the movie Jagga Jasoos. It’s one of my absolute favourites, but this scene made me extremely uncomfortable.
After I watched Metro In Dino, and wondered why use the same cheating spouses storyline when you could’ve used couple therapy or role-play(without cheating). Is cheating the only way to bring back the lost spark in a marriage? Can we at least try to get a bit creative and progressive here?
I can never be comfortable with the romanticised comedic depiction of partners cheating. Either break up or talk to each other, maybe try an open relationship/ open marriage, or seek therapy? At least this will save them both from getting hurt. But these concepts might be “too progressive“ for Indian cinema, after all, the sanctimonious marriage and monogamy are the “pillars“ of a happy relationship(even though your partner is secretly cheating on you).
I had to re-watch Life in a Metro after two and a half hours of facepalm moments. To my convenience, it was available on YouTube.
I immediately realise I do not remember much from the first time I watched it, ages ago. Just when I was raising my eyebrows at Konkona's "Be gay, be whoever you want, but don't hurt others" monologue, voila! I meet another “Kiss her while she’s asleep” scene.
Rahul (Sharman Joshi) kisses Neha (Kangana Ranaut) while she’s asleep (and she’s just back from being hospitalised for drinking phenol in the bathroom).
The most interesting thing about these non-consensual kissing scenes is that the girl who is kissed without her consent just stares at the guy. No dialogues, no particular anger, or any dramatic expression. Just stares stoically, doesn’t even flinch.
So, I thought, would I like it if someone kissed me when I was asleep?
Ew! No! It also wouldn’t matter if they were my partner or not. It is wrong.
My reaction would probably emulate one of Basu’s heroines- too shocked to come to my senses and realise what the hell just happened (which is what my wishful thinking wants me to believe is happening in those scenes), and then probably confront his behaviour and bonus points if I take him to the police!
At least that is what my heroine would do.
