#priority: personal

every time i try to start packing i start to cry which is totally fine and normal but i'm genuinely so tired of doing this Again and Again and Again

i'm so emotionally raw rn and i don't even want to go to any of my commencement ceremonies anymore and i'm tired of watching people celebrate with their friends and family and seeing people celebrate online

this is so fucking hollow. a degree, an award. and it's fucking hollow. i don't even want to look at my cap and gown. i don't want to touch them. it's like being crowned prom queen in an empty auditorium. it fucking sucks knowing that one of the biggest moments of my life is a fucking chore for people around me to deal with. congrats, you're graduating into a world on fire and there's no way to go home

i have one best friend to this very fucking day // since we were five years old and i fucking moved away // i wish i never did 'cause she's the only one who sees me

gave them the benefit of the doubt, i was so wrong // i cut them off and they came for blood 'cause they know // they ain't getting no more

I'm so done with playing piggyback // Swear to god, wished y'all the best // You're lying your way to try to gain a piece of me // WHEN YOU COULD NEVER COME CLOSE 'CAUSE I KNOW MY DESTINY

I worked hard for my shit, put my love in this shit // Now you're tryna kill my name for some fame, what is this?

All the plastic people here

Love and empathy are things that we hold we hold so close // Trying to learn and evolve

wanted to:

- shower

- do my laundry

- clean my room

- actually cook dinner

- work on hw / newspaper shit / club shit

what i managed to do before my energy ran out:

- my towels

- shower

bc a lot of them tend to genuinely be forgotten

(books that i swore i'd finished and then forgot about; manga that i legit only stopped reading bc i forgot ab it; games that i never finished bc i had to set them aside for a sec and then. forgot ab)