#prinecssleia

***

The second time Steve sees Diana, she is standing beside her mother--the queen, apparently--as Steve stands trial in a land he never knew existed. The raw power Steve saw in the Amazons during the battle is directed at him; it was thrilling before, but terrifying now.

Then he sees something more. When he tells the Amazons about the war and all the people hurt by it, he sees her incredible capacity to care. From what he’s been able to gather, she knows nothing of the outside world. None of them do, other than the fact that it exists. But she cares so much about these anonymous people she’s never met.

Then Steve sees Diana’s conviction. The fact that she feels so strongly about her moral duty to the world, she will go against the word of her mother. Her queen. Try to sneak out at night to help others. Like a spy. Like him.

She is a firecracker. Her fire perfectly matches Steve’s.

***

The third time Steve sees Diana, really sees her, she tells his generals how spineless she thinks they all are. Her words, the way she says, “Where I come from, generals don’t hide in their offices like cowards. They fight alongside their soldiers. They die with them on the battlefield” hits Steve more deeply than he expects.

Diana is not afraid of anything. Or, she’s good at pretending to not be afraid of anything.  It’s shocking. It’s inspiring. Steve could never speak up for what he believes in like that. Not when it counts.

But of course, that’s why he’s a spy. He fights for his beliefs in other, more creative ways. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

***

The fourth time Steve sees Diana, he almost doesn’t want to. He’s had it with her fierce determination and her unfailing optimism despite all odds. The way she refuses to accept that some battles are simply unwinnable.

Then she goes into No Man’s Land. And it’s like the first time he’s ever seen her.

Diana is reborn in that horrifying in-between space. She is power and electricity embodied. She endures all of the enemy’s hits as if they’re nothing. For a moment, all he can do is stare, like that first time back on the beach. But watching all the fire she takes, he cannot remain immobile. But it’s as if she doesn’t need him or any of the others’ help at all. Her ability to stand her ground and remain strong against it all mobilizes an entire regiment. All for one small village.

There are no words for the awe Steve has for her. There are no words for who she is.

When they dance together that night, Steve knows he loves her. Knows it as well as he knows the streets of his hometown. He doesn’t know what will happen at the end of all this, if they’ll be able to get married and make babies and grow old together. Dance together for the rest of their lives. But he knows he loves her and he thinks she loves him too and tonight, that’s enough.

***

The fifth and final time Steve sees Diana, they’re fighting, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t care about the fight. All he cares about is memorizing her face. Telling her not to forget what she believes in. How much he believes in her. That he loves her. God, how he loves her.

She’s still just as breathtaking as she was the first time he saw her. Some things never change. He wonders briefly is she’ll ever age. Then he realizes there’s no point in pondering that; he’ll never get to find out.

He sees how she is still fighting not to lose anyone. Not to lose him. He sees the pain there. The love. She loves him, he knows it. She loves the whole world but she loves him.

It’s that knowledge that lets him leave at peace.

***

It’s been a very long time since Diana has seen Steve. Too long. Far too long.

She misses him every day. She feels the ache constantly. It’s been so long, so many years, but none of the pain has eased with the passage of time.

It’s amazing what one photograph can do.

Holding it in her hands, tangible proof that Steve was real, is everything. Diana tears up holding it. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s gone, no. But keeping the photo close to her after that makes her feel that he is still present. Enough to ease the pain just a little.

Sometimes, she pretends he’s with her. Cracking that grin of his, telling her she’s crazy while looking at her like she’s brilliant. She gets so good at pretending that sometimes she can really believe it.