#pretentiouspompousjohn

One time in 4th Grade, I Shot A SpitWad At A *DAMN ANNOYING* Classmate  Of Mine.

Hahahaaaaa...

😆😆😆😆😆

Oh, goddamn...I wanted to *BUUUUUUUST OUT LAAAAAAAUGHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!*

😀😃😄😁😆😅😂🤣😭😉😋😛😝😜🤪😇

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

That's actually the ONLY time I had ever SpitWadded Anyone ever, heh...yup.

(SpitWads are actually Fucking Gross & I have always thought so. That's actually the only time I have ever Done That.)

Yeah, I'm actually NOT An Envious Person.

Seriously.

Never really been.

But every so seldom, sometimes I might actually Feel A Rare Uncommon Feeling To Me.

Envy.

(ANNOYANCE is something I unfortunately certainly feel DAILY, for instance. IRRITATION and ANGER and FURY and FEAR and PANIC and GREED I rarely & seldom actually feel)

I guess John (my classmate) was actually Damn Intelligent, but he also seemed Damn Pretentious.

Conceited.

Snotty.

Shitty like that.

I guess I finally one day got Fed-Up with his fat ass so one day I finally determined To Execute A Fiendishly-Nefarious Pre-Emptive Covert Strike on him of EdgarAllanPoesque Proportions, bwahahahahahaaaaa...😆😆😆😆😆

Oh, You would have Laughed at how Cleverly I carrie-out This Mortal Undertaking.

You would certainly have Marveled At My Incomparable Sagacity.

At My Technically-Precise Expert Proficiency.

At My...

...well, let's not get Carried Away here...hence, I Digress...😆😆😆😆😆

But Anyway!

I found me one of those Pens with a Clicker On Top so that the ball-point tip Clicks Outside & then Clicks Inside when not in-use.

The Pen had a Metal Band (A Very Short Tube, really) in-between the top & bottom Halves so I took that Band & put it in my mouth & Loaded A SpitWad Inside It. The point was to QUICKLY bring the Band inside & HIDE IT after I fired it (I was sitting Last Desk in the row next to his. He was sitting close to the Middle of the room. He was about 10 Feet Away).

It worked like a charm. Ha.😆😆😆😆😆

I was damn surprised at the accuracy of the Trajectory. I saw that SpitWad fly off in front of me to a Vanishing Point just like a Torpedo Fired From An X-WING Fighter en-route to a Thermal Exhaust Port of The Death Star.🎯🎇

It hit just above his Right Ear & disappeared deep into his bushyass black hair; which reminded me of those bushyass Microphone Covers.

*HEY!!!*, he suddenly yelled as he turned his head in surprise.

What freaked me out was how FAST John felt it, & how fast he Snapped his head towards me. 

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Ohhhhh, maaaaannnnn...I wanted to LAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

🤯😆🤯😆🤯😆🤯😆🤯😆

Ohhhhhhh, daaaaaaamn...

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

I swear: to this day, I still really don't know HOW I was ever able To Not Blow Up Laughing...

😵😵😵😵😵😵😵

I'm pretty sure I had an expressionless Dead Serious Look on my face too.

Heh, heh...Punkass John kept looking around at everyone he thought was maybe responsible for Sniping him...

...but he kept looking back at me more than at anyone else, heh, heh...I guess 'coz I kept waving my hands around with a look on my maybe guilty-looking face that kept fakely expressing (in silence):

"I don't know anything."

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Oh, goddamn, goddamn, goddamn.....

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹