#preachy

Let’s talk about stuff. Let’s talk about stuff and things. 

Ugh. 

A few things seem to be true about stuff:

-If there is space in your house, you will fill it with stuff. 

-Stuff needs care. Stuff needs maintenance. 

-As the world becomes more complicated there is less time for us to take care of all our stuff.

I believe in less stuff. Do I live that life? It’s been a hard transition to be able to answer, “mostly.” I only buy special and favorite books (all the books at the library are mine), stuff I need, and consumable treats. Sometimes I really want something, but I now ask myself if I really need it, do I have the time to take care of it, can I resell it or gift it to a new and happy home if I do decide to buy it? It’s worked pretty well for the most part. And the one thing in, one thing out rule works pretty well, too. But I do still have a fair amount of stuff that I haven’t touched in years.

Remember I said if there is space in your house, you will fill it with stuff? Do you agree? This is absolutely true for my dad, because as soon as my brother and I left, dad filled in the empty spaces where we had been. In recent years mom has been unable to contribute to the pile of shit--well, she’s

*at least *trying to downsize as much as she can with her limited mobility. And dear gods, they need to. If there is a fire in that house they are both dead. And there

has been a fire. And they got lucky. Mom lost a few favorite puppets (she was a teacher and she used them in her classroom). Guess what? She had to have them replaced. Me? I wouldn’t do that. It’s burned, it’s broken, stuff doesn’t last forever, oh well. I enjoyed it when it was mine, so it’s purpose has been fulfilled and I have good memories. That’s all I really need. 

The daunting task of cleaning out my parents home when they are dead is terrifying to me. I want to grieve for them properly. I don’t want to stress about going through their stuff. 

Dad is not a fan of Marie Kondo. “She threatens my inventory.” Oh. My. God. Palm to my forehead. He really said that. And so do I, by trying to point out to him what he does and doesn’t need.

“Dad, you don’t even know what you have? Where is the list of your inventory?” My point to him is, he needs to get organized. He doesn't even know where things are. With organization There will be labels and similar things stored together. Surely, he doesn’t need two of those thingamabobbers. What does he even use them for anyway? When did he last need one? All he does is keep bees and my mom all day, go camping and hiking once in a while, and why oh why does he keep all that newspaper?! Piles of it. I could throw a pile out the upstairs window and make it rain newspapers. It’s fuel for the fire that could kill them! Dad is not careless, but we both know he is just careless enough.

So, I read this book to see if it would be good for my parents. I liked it. I learned some things. There's a section about gifts, furniture, personal effects, secrets, and even cookbooks. There is something in it for everyone, because we don't really know when we are going to die. This should honestly be part of everyone's spring cleaning AND people should just try not to “need” more stuff in general-- we are mining the earth for all these things and when will it be enough?! (don’t buy it new, get it used! Rent stuff. Fix stuff that’s broken. Don’t just send it to the landfill. Find it a new home. It’s just a little broken? Well someone might know how to fix it so give it to them or sell it for cheap!)

Ultimately, my parents need a several pronged approach and just one book or method will not work. I sent them an episode of the Ologies podcast with Alie Ward when she interviews a couple that help purge and organize who own a company called Horderly (lol, get it?). They organize and purge compulsively anyway, are fantastic at it, so they might as well support themselves that way. I do love a well-labeled, having-a-place-for-everything kind of closet. 

Besides, you’ll never know when you need to up and move. An Earthquake might crack the foundation on your house making it unsafe. A hurricane or blizzard may blow the roof off your house, and wouldn’t it be nice to know you had less stuff to lose to water damage, mold, and mildew? Someone’s dad might die and the apartment where you live will need to be sold to settle the estate and the new bastards that buy it will want to turn out you without negotiation because of their fucking bottom line, but you didn’t ask for this and you did nothing wrong because you have been amazing tenants for over 20 years and it feels like all of humanity has betrayed you because it has allowed this to happen to millions of folks, so many folks they have to pass laws to protect tenants, which clearly don’t protect us, because they don’t keep them or us from becoming homeless, because this is how it happens folks, this is how people become homeless and go into debt because of fuckers like this that make you have to downsize all your stuff so you can move into something you can afford which will be a pit compared to the place you helped take care of for so many years. 

Ahem.

There is no better way to say, “fuck you, capitalism” by refusing to buy new stuff. We really do need a better economy around used and recycled things. All fabric stores should have a scrap fabric bin so those pieces can be recycled. More clothing stores are starting to take old clothes for recycling, which is so great. Thredup and Poshmark and stores like that are doing extremely well with online thrifting. Honestly, all my clothes are used, except socks and underwear… I might sometimes buy new shoes, and I do go for the pricey, well-built ones that will take at least seven years to wear out.

Ok so I just saw a post about an ace person who got kicked out of their house by their parents for their orientation. In response this kid calls the police and reports them for owning illegal firearms.

I have 2 things I would like to say in response to this

1. Kudos to that kid. If anyone reading this knows em, give them a high five for me please. Much appreciated.

And 2. WTF? Ok so as stupid and bigoted as kicking out a kid for their sexual orientation is I still kinda understand where it’s coming from when it’s for being gay or pan or whatever because it’s like “sinful” or whatever (side note: I think that’s BS because god clearly made people that way, in his image no less, and on top of that I was taught god loves ALL his creations even the ones who sin so fuck religious people using it as an excuse to be dicks) but I don’t actually see the reasoning (however flawed) for kicking out an ace person? I mean, they are arguably less sinful than “normal” people just on principle because they are immune to lust. Like, these peeps could totally live their entire life as virgins and be totally cool with that. So I am confused. I mean, I know none of it makes sense anyway because it’s bigotry and that sort of stuff never really makes sense, but usually it’s built on a foundation that sorta makes sense if u squint and turn ur head a bit.

Anyway, idk, just a bit of a rant I wanted to go on. Btw I don’t actually consider sex to be sinful as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual. I just know that it’s a thing with a lot of religious people. Also I’m not trying to shit on religion here, I was raised Lutheran which is kind of like being liberal but with Christianity instead of politics, and the people at my church are all really nice. Im just a bit of a realist and I know that being religious doesn’t actually stop you from being a dick.

Hmm...any advice I’d give others is of course advice I’m really giving myself.

Take the opportunities that come your way.

Do something which facilitates others - feed the hungry on Thanksgiving, pay for the next person in line, whatever. It’s easy to get caught up in your own life and focus on your own drama. Get out of your own life, your own head a little.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Be present.

Live joy.

Don’t wait to do anything until you retire, certainly not to travel. The kind of trip you’d take at 23, or 43 is not the same kind of trip you’d take at 70.

Adventure and cultural experiences are everywhere, you can find them in your neighborhood, you don’t have to go around the world — but if you can, go.

Solo travel is scary but very rewarding. A lot of groups like G Adventures, and Intrepid cater to solo travelers and small groups, which makes it even easier to do than it has ever been, especially for women.

Use your vacation time. Even if you stay home.

Explore your neighborhood, your city, your state, these fabulous United States...

Keep your love letters / texts / photos.