#prayersforstrength

God always gives you what you can handle, I am successful so far. Strong woman. I am being stalked, I'm really not scared or anything for God is with me; I do believe a man who stalks you will kill you. I love going about things in my own way, I am quite the strategist with everything that goes on in this life I'm living. I'm being gang stalked, they watch me and never talk to anyone. There has been mention of "demonic cults!"

It's an all-knowing. Some minds cannot comprehend such strong influence and power... I am so successful already. Have you met a homeless trendsetter before? The college girls were in sweats weeks ago, now they dress just like me; veils, hippie-chick, long flowy skirts- big coats, flowy flowy huge jeans... INFLUENCE, POWER, WHAT!!! PRAYERS COMING IN... I am grateful for I'm aware that all things must pass; I am savoring this now, even when it gets hard! I have come to accept this new reality; mindful that big change is right around the corner. Every challenge has helped me grow; so as much as I love the good, I also have love for the bad- it is expansion.

I am striving, nothing can break that. I will never stop I know that everything always goes my way, even if it takes a long time.

Oh Lord; have mercy on me a sinner!

Mary be a mother to me now. I pray these.

You will always be the love of my life Rod. Always.

Amen,

31 Jan 2019

Hello Rod,

I imagine that you have welcomed Patricia into your world now. You know I’m in FL and will today start to put some semblance of a plan together for her funeral. As the attorney said at my Mom’s funeral « she was the brains of that outfit »..same thing here in FL with Trish’s family. But...I have experience in funeral planning and life of the survivor afterwards, so I can and will help. You also are aware that Angela your dear sister is likely coming to join you soon as she is now under hospice care. I will go see her while I’m here in FL. Welcome her home my dear.

Happy new year 2020..not the way I would have chosen to start this one off.

The sone from Messiah keeps coming to my mind...

Isiah 53:3 King James Bible

« He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not »

I am certainly not to be compared with Jesus Christ..I only take the part about ending a « person of sorrows and acquainted with grief « . That’s who I am today. I know I should be rejoicing that there’s a new name written down in Glory...and of course I know that. Selfishly, I miss Patricia, I miss you Rod, I miss my parents, I miss all those I hold dear and every funeral just brings that all up again. Tears are a necessary relief valve. Time will not change or heal « it », only I can change.. »it » death or whatever the situation will not change.

Father God,

I ask for strength, wisdom, compassion, patience and all of the other blessings I will need to be of maximum service to You and my family. Thank You Father for my time with Patricia and our special close relationship. She was a gem among gems. Bless her in her new mission.

Amen,

25 Dec 2019

Merry Heavenly Christmas Rodney. Spending it with Jesus in His presence has to be an amazing experience. Here on earth, as you know it’s a tough time for me. I have been doing the distraction tour, this year with my friend Joellen. It’s nice, but absolutely not the same. I miss you Rodney. I just miss you.

I’ve been contacted by at least 2 people who saw yuu in their dreams..always a special experience.

Miles: from China:

Merry Christmas Eve ,Sarah. About a week ago , I met Rod in the dream. I knew that he doesn't belong to this world , on the way to meet him I began to cry [Chuckle]. when I saw him , he was talking to others in a bridge,so I hugged him he didn't know who I am. The pity is that we didn't talk, then woke up.

Pray for you,Sarah. Wish you have a nice Christmas.

Angie from SC,

Merry Christmas Sarah! Rodney visited new in my dreams last night. I don’t remember what he said but I remember he was bringing AA to me. I believe our dead visit us in our dreams. Many people in the Bible had angels visit them in their dreams. Being catholic, I’ve loved all your pic of the beautiful churches and cathedrals. My faith is a beautiful faith with beautiful churches. Jesus is always present in the tabernacles of the church. I have my girls here for Christmas and my parents live across the street so plenty of love around. Have a blessed day.

Thimas from Germany

Believe it or not Sarah, Rodney has been very present here with us. Especially during this Christmas season. A real spiritual giant !!!

I also got a very special note from son Chris:

Merry Christmas Sarah!!! Thanks for everything you do for Olivia, Rachael and I. You have been a great Nana to Olivia and great stepmom to me. Your love and caring has made a great positive impact on our family. You are one of the things I am most thankful for. I hope you are blanketed in The love of Jesus today. I know my father is watching over you as well. Heading to her now and preparing for a fun day with Olivia tomorrow. We will talk to you later in your day. Love you!!!

All of these messages are so very sweet and touching and each bring tears to my eyes. Makes me think of the James Taylor song...Fire and Rain..it seems so appropriate today. You will always be the love of my life and I will always love you. Always.

Father God,

Thank you for Your Son Jesus and the gift of salvation. Thank you for the time with Rodney. Thank you for my friends and family all over the world who continue to reach out and let me know that Rodney is still relèvent and sorely missed in their life too. I ask for the strength to live one day at a time and do Your Will.

Amen

18 December 2018

Good morning my love. It’s almost Christmas time and since you’ve been gone, time for my distraction travel plan to kick in. Last year it was to the Amazon River with Patricia and this year it’s up the Danube with Joellen. Next year onto the Nile, hopefully with Patricia if she gets well enough.

Yesterday I was on “vacation”, at the apartment getting ready for my trip and I really needed to be at home. I didn’t sleep well and ended up sleeping late and was doing my little cleaning routine listening to shuffle songs in the iTunes library, and up popped a Sarah Brightman song “the last words you said to me” and I just lost it..I sobbed while missing you, cried for the sickness of my sister Patricia and fear of losing her, yiu name it, I was crying a ou it. I got down in my knees and prayed and cried and asked God to give me strength. Eventually the tears subsided, eventually I was able to get my suitcase packed and last emails treated, eventually I was able to function. Once again, I saw that grief is a cruel companion, cunning, baffling and powerful. Hit you when you’re down type of “friend”. I miss you so much Rodney. Nothing can replace that feeling when I would share good news, or need a shoulder to cry on, or ask your opinion, or just need to get a good hug. I have no desire for another man for companionship..the thought just turns my stomach. I will always love you Rodney, always. I just can’t get over the love of my life, and dont want to. You are still an “is” to me Rodney, not a “was”. My endless love.

Father God,

You know my heart and how heavy it is, missing my Rodney, praying for healing for my sister. I thank You for your comforter yesterday and for my time with Rodney and Patricia and all of my family. I ask that You continue to give me intuitive thought and strength to live as You would have me live and be of maximum service to You and to my fellows.

Amen,

29 August 2019

Well Rod, 335 periods of 24 hours (days) ago your body shut down and your spirit opened up. I miss you so much. I talked to you everyday, some times silently, some time aloud...it’s not the same. “It” has not changed; I am slowly getting better. I still have my moments of heavy fog of grief and I have moments of happiness, can’t really say joy yet. I am learning to recognize more things about which to be grateful...the lessons God taught me through you, the rareness of how you treated me as your princess, the intuitive thought and insight you had in so many subjects...in a word..LOVE...”and the greatest of these is Love”. I love you Rodney, I will always love you and you will always be the love of my life. Always. You are still and “is” in my life, not a “was”.

Today, I’m Im China as I type this and everyone has been so nice, so welcoming and so encouraging. I used the green card that we got Rod to come into the country of China..worked like a charm! Yours was issued after you died Rod and I have it. Your spirit comes with me Rodney. The plant we built is hailed as the benchmark in the Group...I couldn’t have done that without you. Thank you Rod. Thank you for all you did for me and most of all, thank you for loving me.

Father God,

I ask that You bless my Rodney today in his mission. I don’t know how that works, and I don’t need to. I know Your will is being done. I ask that You give him everything I ever wanted for myself. Thank You Father for the time I was able to spend with him and the lessons You taught me through him. Thank you for the heightened sense of curiosity and desire for learning since he died. Thank you Father for the continued healing of my spirit and renewed strength. Father I ask that You continue to give me intuitive thought so that I may be of maximum service to You and my fellows.

In Jesus’ name I pray

Amen

27 July 2019

Well Rod, I just made my first “home trip” without you beside me, without you to meet me at the airport, without being able to call you to let you know I made it ok, without that fresh flower you would give me when I arrived. Without you. Yesterday morning when I left Clermont, I was so emotional, I wept all through my meditation and read Psalms 143. It was about asking God to hear my prayers as my soul is feeling low and I know He does. Thank God He does. When the flight arrived in Paris and the big black car was waiting for me to take me to the 1st class lounge and then to the plane...I give you credit for that Email upgrade Rod! Still taking care of your princess. It’s been almost 10 months here on this earth without you Rod. I have moments where I thrive..still mostly just survive. I miss you baby. You will always be the love of my life...always.