Three days since he watched Tony's body being dragged down by the alien, her eyes almost nothing like human—but the pain so similar, it curdled into something sour.
Three days he heard Pepper's scream, so terrible it tore through his heart like wicked claws.
Three days since Rhodes disappeared behind a mask of nothingness.
Three days since Steve felt himself slipping away, as if he were watching his own life unfold through someone else's eyes.
Three days since Tony died and left them all with half a universe, and his haunting memories.
"Eat." Natasha nudges the plate towards him. A soggy bread sandwich with lettuce and cheese and some leftover chicken slices. It tastes like ash in his mouth. But Steve obeys her.
Because this is him now.
A piece of wood adrift in the ocean, chipped away from his ship. No anchor. No home to go back to.
He never told anyone—though he suspects some people just knew—Tony has always been his lighthouse in this new century.
Without him...
Steve feels untethered.
"Drink."
He drinks the water.
"Sleep," Nat tells him next and Steve Rogers does that too.
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"Ok Friday, do a full check again, reassess the physical damage and compatibility with all energy systems that could replace the stone."
"Boss, are you sure? We've already checked, there's not much we can do and I don't think ..."
"Double check, please"
"Boss ... if I may, you should try to rest"
"Please"
Pepper entered the room "Friday is right, Tony, it's late ... you should sleep"
"I can't Pep ... I ... I have to ..."
"Tony ..."
"I have to try Pep, I have to save him at least, maybe I can do something ... I have to do something .... "
"Maybe you can't .."
"No Pepper ... God, I'm Tony Stark, I created Iron Man, I created Jarvis, I created extraordinary things, I helped to create him too and ... and this asshole dared to die without even..." Tony tried to fight back the tears "He can't just be dead ..." He sighed to try to calm down "You know what would be useful? If Maximoff were here" He laughed bitterly "She knew him well, she would find a way ... you know they were seeing each other ? "
"They were seeing each other seems an understatement considering that he had bought her a house in New Jersey"
"Yes, I told him to buy her some flowers, a necklace... but he decided on the house ... he is quite an exhibitionist ... was"
Pepper put her hand on his shoulder "I know you want to save someone Tony ... I know you tried to save Peter ... I know you wish you could at least save Vision ... But maybe he wouldn't want to be saved ... not in a world without her "
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Post-IW | 9K | Teen
~
like magnets
“I’m dead, aren’t I?” Steve asks, tilting his head at the being again.
Not-Erskine nods again. “You really weren’t supposed to make it this long…” He -- It -- They -- flick a hand behind them, and suddenly Steve’s life begins to play, flashes of memories, of faces, of things he’d done. They go quick, just blinks, mere nanoseconds in time as flicker across the white.
Part 1 of like magnets
~
we snap together
“Captain Rogers?” A doctor says, yanking Steve’s attention away from Sam. He turns, winces, but meets the woman’s eyes. She stares at him with friendly brown eyes before saying in a stern, professional voice, “You were clinically dead for five minutes before we were able to restart your heart. We thought we lost you.”
“Y-you didn’t,” Steve says, in a rough, dry voice.
“Thankfully,” the doctor says, with a smile. “You are extremely lucky to be alive. We’re almost certain that without the serum, you’d, well, you’d be dead.”
He nods, as shallowly as he can. He’s well aware of what the serum has done for him this go around. That and having an actual conversation with God. That probably helped. Unless that had all been a figment of his imagination. Steve closesd his eyes at the thought.
Hi I was wondering if u cld help me find a fic? Its set after infinity I think Loki comes back? Last haven on Earth is on Wakanda. Thor is keeping it alive but the avengers don't knw its killing him. Loki flies as a bird in there & he discovers Thor dying. He is angry but helps him save the world. They have lots of good time but Thor is healing so Loki takes his seed & plants it to help nurture the soil & such. Loki & his fellow asgardians plant to bring life back on the plane.
Hm, this doesn’t ring any of my bells... maybe @ao3feed-thorki can help, or perhaps someone reading this might know the name/author of this fic!
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Hell on Earth by madasthesea on Ao3 ( @madasthesea on tumblr) ~ 1/1 ~ 1,096 words ~ General Audiences ~ No Archive Warnings Apply ~ Irondad
Prompt: please do post!IW where everyone lost someone in the snap, but on paper it looks like Tony didn't lose anyone (Rhodey is alive, I'm pretty sure Pepper and Happy are too), so Hawkeye or someone is pissed until they see Tony and realize he's lost just as much as them
- If you love those types of fics where the amount of shit that one character has gone through is exposed and then everyone is like omg!! what!! sorry we were mean :( then this fic is for you lol - Ella <3
Tony’s prepared to die out in the vast emptiness of space, surrounded by the cosmos. If he’s gonna go, at least he’ll get some beautiful scenery to go with it.
He doesn’t expect to be rescued, so he shouldn’t be surprised that that’s exactly what happens.
A face he hasn’t seen since the early 90s pops up in front of his vision. “Carol Danvers,” he chokes out. “Am I hallucinating, or is your hair really glowing?”
“Save your breath, Stark,” she replies. “I’m getting you out of here.”
***
He must have passed out at some point because next thing he knows, he’s waking up in a bed with soft sheets, with machines beeping around him and a slight tug on his right hand where he must be connected to an IV drip. He opens his eyes and takes a look around.
To his left are floor-to-ceiling windows that look out to a familiar lawn. Tony’s back at Avengers Compound.
***
It takes a few days before he’s back on his feet. In the time since half the population turned into dust and Tony went missing, the Rogue Avengers --- what’s left of them, at least --- have returned to New York to work out plans to undo the havoc that Thanos’ snap had caused. Tony hangs back and lets them do their thing, not wanting to interfere with anything. He’s too tired. Too exhausted. He doesn’t want to think about everything he experienced in the last month. Getting stabbed. Losing the kid. Almost starving to death. He wishes he could forget.
He steers clear from his workshop because he just can’t handle looking at his suits again just yet. He feels a little terrible when FRIDAY tells him that DUM-E and U are looking for him, but so he tells her to send them up and join him where he’s retreated into the library. Tony spends his days curled up on the sofa, staring blankly at the unlit fireplace, and doesn’t leave until Rhodey comes in to drag him out for lunch and dinner.
***
“We could really use your help, you know.”
Tony turns to find Steve standing at the door instead of Rhodey, holding a tray filled with plates of pasta and chocolate cake. It smells delicious, but Tony hasn’t had an appetite since before...before.
“I think you guys are doing fine without me,” Tony replies. His voice is hoarse. He hardly speaks anymore. He doesn’t have a lot to say these days. “You don’t need me. I’ll just make things worse.”
Steve steps in and sets the tray down on the coffee table in front of them before taking a seat on the other end of the sofa.
“We’re doing okay, I guess.” He turns to Tony fully. “But every time I walk into that room and talk to the team, I get this nagging feeling that something’s missing. Someone. Is missing.”
“You don’t need to remind me what we’re facing right now, Cap. We’ve lost a lot of people.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Steve takes a deep breath. “Listen, Tony. This feeling isn’t new.” He looks down, seemingly uncertain how to continue.
Tony waits patiently while Steve collects himself and briefly wonders why Steve’s here with him when he could be spending his time with Natasha or Thor instead.
Steve gets up from his spot on the couch and Tony figures Steve has just asked himself the exact same question and is going to leave to find his actual friends. Instead, Steve asks, “Want to take a walk with me?”
“Um.” Tony gestures at the food. “I thought you wanted to eat?”
“That can wait. Come on. Let’s take a walk.”
Tony gets up and goes with him.
***
They walk in silence for a while before stopping near the helipad. There, Steve shuffles his feet a bit, as if he’s contemplating what he wants to say to Tony next. Tony can feel the tension between them building up and his eyes start darting around as he tries to form an escape plan.
“I missed you. Everyday.”
Tony whips his head back around to stare at Steve. He’s bewildered. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would hear those words come out of Steve Rogers’ mouth.
“Excuse me?”
“These last two years have been brutal, I’m not gonna lie. Being on the run wasn’t the most glamorous lifestyle, but we made do. We went on missions and tried to help as many people as we could. I’m proud of what we achieved. But I never stopped thinking about how much better things would have been if we had you with us.”
Tony scoffs. “Trust me, Rogers. I kept track of where you were, what you were up to. You were doing just fine without me.” He kicks at the gravel a bit. “I get it. I wasn’t the best teammate. All I do is fuck things up.”
“I hate that you think so low of yourself.” Steve takes a deep breath, and Tony can feel the Big Inspirational Speech coming. “I know I haven’t been a good friend to you. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have changed how I acted towards you. You deserved better.”
Steve looks away and Tony can see a single tear tracking its way down his cheek. Steve roughly wipes it away before going on.
“I know what you’re thinking. I know you think this is your fault. That this...decimation of the universe is because you didn’t do enough.” Steve looks Tony dead in the eye. “It’s not. You shouldn’t bear the burden of what happened. And if you insist on doing it anyway, then let me share the load with you.
“Because let me tell you, Tony. These last two years were horrible. I told you, during the mess with Ultron, that we’d always do things together and I broke that promise. It keeps me awake at night knowing that if we hadn’t split the team up, if we had just talked --- if I had just told you the truth and been a better friend --- then maybe we could have had a fighting chance against Thanos. Maybe we would have won.”
Steve hesitantly places a hand on Tony’s shoulder before finishing quietly, “The thing is... I’m not half as good at anything, as I am when I’m doing it next to you. And that’s the truth. So now that we’re back here, now that we’re fighting on the same side again, I know that we can figure things out and win this fight. Together. I refuse to believe in anything else.”
Tony stays silent for a while, trying his best to process everything he’s just heard. His instinct tells him to crack a snarky joke, but the words won’t come out. Instead, he says, “You really mean that, Captain?” His voice cracks on the last syllable. He knows he sounds weak, and needy, but Tony can’t bring himself to care.
“Every word.”
“Alright. I believe you.”
Steve beams and the smile lights up his whole face. “Come here.” He pulls Tony forward and draws him into a hug, curling into Tony and seemingly unwilling to let go.
“We’ll do better this time,” Tony mumbles into Steve’s chest.
“We will. We’re better together.”
After a couple minutes, Tony pulls back. “So should we get started?”
Steve laughs. “Later. Lunch first.”
“Okay. Lunch first.”
They head back into the compound. For the first time in what feels like years, Tony’s chest feels lighter.
