" you never change on me. " chris says, groaning as the incline starts to increase on the treadmill. he used to think he was in really good shape, and then he started going to the gym with ed. they're very humbling, these little workout dates of theirs, but they're special to chris.

" but like, that's what makes you so great, you know? you're reliable. consistent. why would you wanna change? "

no, but before anatoliy says so he feels compelled to ask, " do you still have both your kidneys? "

" these are not people that care for you. "

it doesn't escape anatoliy that not many are as generous with their time and patience as he, and that it is no small thing to extend another person the offer of being seen.

that is what makes it worth doing, in the way his earnestness tries to suggest.

" to allow someone you love to endure the feeling of being misunderstood, " he shakes his head, " i find this ... violent. "

" okay ... ? " maverick doesn't know how to repair the rupture anymore than he understands what actually caused it. " if that's how you want to feel about it. "

" oh, fuck, karen. don't preach to me. " there's no simpler way to exhaust the shallow reserves of chris's patience on what has already been a very trying morning. and yet, he stops for a doorknob confessional type lecture of his own (what, like she's never met a hypocrite before?) to turn so sharply that they almost crash into each other.

" sure. fine. but the truth is irrelevant unless it can change something or move the needle. " it hadn't always been this way. for a long time, chris carried the cold objective worth of the truth like a knife in his hand, but weapons are only comforting when you're the one holding them.

" if that weren't the case, you wouldn't be here right now. " he actually has no idea what she's doing here, because: " i thought you wanted to do this on your own. "

" this is a choice, though. "

the rotation has changed now that the other guys have gone back inside and josie already feels like he's been half watching the night go on like a really bad movie; he can't remember if cass was participating in the smoke circle.

finishing his drag, he ashes on his boots and holds it out ambiguously as a pause or an offering, whichever cass prefers.

" the whole fuckin' set was lifted off of pentagram. tell me i'm wrong. "

a small smile sinks dimples into his cheek, attempting to distract from how deep the concern for his soul (or whatever else there is) truly runs by waving it directly in divina's face. hiding it in plain sight. " you sure you have that kind of time? "